Dredd was leaning against his lawmaster on one of the numerous streets of Mega City One, waiting for the remainder of the assault team to arrive.
He noticed a small boy, about four years old, staring at him curiously. His mother was distracted, observing fashion in a nearby shop window.
The boy took a few steps towards Dredd, and smiled. Dredd remained the same. The boy looked a bit taken aback that it wasn't reciprocated, and tried smiling again. Dredd surmised that the boy's compassionate look and tenacious behaviour indicated that he'd been taught that everyone should smile, else there was something amiss.
The little boy piped up. "Let's be gay!" he said enthusiastically, grinning and waving his arms eagerly, trying to get a response from Dredd.
Dredd thought it was unlikely that the boy knew it was a double entendre. Even though the boy had meant to help him, Dredd knew The Law had to be taken seriously, hence the need for his serious demeanour which meant he couldn't oblige with the innocuous request.
"Do I look like a ball of sunshine to you, citizen?" he said louder than usual, hoping to attract the attention of the mother.
It worked. She turned around, momentarily surprised at the absence of her child, and briskly walked towards them. "I apologise, Judge… Dredd." She gulped and paled as she recognised the name of the toughest lawman in the city.
"He didn't say anything insulting," Dredd replied, dismissing the apology.
The mother gave a relieved smile, and still trembling from the shock, yanked her child away and pulled him down the street.
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"Possible disturbance at the Gay Pride parade in Sector 13."
"Dredd to Control. I'm not far."
"Affirmative. Be advised… you may see yourself in them."
"What was that, Control?"
"I mean, you're one of their icons."
"What!?"
"Be advised that Chief Judge Hershey has allowed the demonstrators to dress as you, as long as it's obviously not an authentic uniform. So it looks like you'll be judging their outfits."
Dredd remained silent.
"Dredd? Do you copy?"
"Affirmative." Dredd ended the call quickly out of disgust at the frivolous assignment.
-0-
He pulled up in his lawmaster. There wasn't any sign of a riot brewing, so his job was to make sure they were following the law regarding their appearance.
He saw someone whose outfit looked quite similar to a Judge's from behind. Grabbing the guy's shoulder, he spun him around. The differences were immediately noticeable. He was wearing a cod piece and also had red lipstick on, amongst other neon embellishments.
"Hey, sweetheart – didn't you know that if you dress too similarly to a Judge that it's an arrestable offense?"
Before Dredd could react with something that wasn't lethal, the guy pulled him into a kiss.
"There. That looks much better," the guy said, smiling, and walked away. Dredd's mouth fell open slightly. He could feel the tackiness of the red lipstick on his own mouth. It was his philosophy to be lenient in cases where someone had meant well and there was a grey area regarding the Law – he couldn't recall if there was specifically a rule to not kiss a Judge, even though it could be judged as behaving inappropriately. Livid at his personal space being invaded, he resolved to let the perp go considering their good intentions, and tried to wipe the lipstick off with his leather gloves.
His comm crackled.
"Dredd. It's Hershey. I wanted to make sure everything was OK. Any issues?"
His lips tightened. This was all her fault. "No riots, Hershey." He paused. "Is… kissing a Judge a crime?"
"Only if you enjoy it," she replied, chuckling, and ended the call.
Damn her. Even though she was taking a friendly laugh at his expense, it irritated him – he always had to be tough – the Law always had to be tough since things were already out of control.
"Hey, doll… that outfit looks a bit too similar to a Judge's… let me fix that for you." Another well-meaning Samaritan held up a spray gun of neon paint and aimed it at Dredd's chest.
The man backed away when he found a Lawgiver pointed directly at his face. "Judge… Dredd? It's really you?" The man looked at Dredd's mouth, and his eyes widened. Damn. Maybe he hadn't removed all the lipstick. "Hey, Judge Dredd's over here!" he said enthusiastically. A loud cheer rose in the crowd and Dredd was involuntarily lifted into the air and carried to centre stage. Maybe he shouldn't be so drokking nice to these well-meaning people, but it's not as if he had enough stun bullets to deal with them all.
Irritated, Dredd stood there and spoke into the amplifier on his comm. "I'm here to uphold the law!" he barked authoritatively. A massive cheer came from the crowd. Drat – they were supposed to sober up.
Dredd recognised the first man who had approached him who happened to be standing nearby. "I kissed Judge Dredd?" he said in amazement, and fainted. Dredd couldn't tell if it was from terror or something else. A few people heard the man's statement and looked at Dredd hopefully.
Dredd suppressed his desire to 'stun' them all that way so he could go elsewhere. "Knowingly kissing a Judge isn't meaningless, Citizen, and Judges cannot have relationships," he growled. They looked disappointed.
Fortunately from the stage he had a good view of all the parade attendees, and thus verified that no one was believably impersonating a Judge. He hopped down and pushed his way through the crowd towards his Lawmaster, furiously wiping his mouth even more.
A young scrawny-looking teenager was standing near his Lawmaster. Dredd loomed menacingly, testing for a potential threat. The boy trembled. No threat.
The boy took a deep breath and closed his eyes, collecting himself. "Sir, I had been bullied when I was younger because I'm gay… it was the thought that you might also be... um... gay too that got me through it. Would you please tell me, Sir?" The boy was looking scared out of his wits, but his desire to know obviously was stronger.
Dredd remained stony-faced. "My orientation doesn't make a difference to me, Citizen. It shouldn't to you."
The boy's eyes widened in recognition of the deeper meaning. Keep on pushing forward, no matter what, regardless of whether there's someone else to support you.
Dredd mounted his Lawmaster and rode off.
A major case was announced on the comm, and Dredd met up with another Judge on the road en route.
"You OK, Dredd?" they asked, probably because he seemed more agitated than usual.
"Yeah. Just came from the Pride parade assignment."
"I can see that!" the other Judge said, laughing and nodding in the direction of Dredd's mouth.
Drokking hi-tech lipstick.
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A/N: Regarding the topic mentioned in the synopsis, apparently it was someone cosplaying as Dredd who was kissing men in that story in the comic.
I wrote this to hear Dredd say "it doesn't matter if I'm gay" to the boy at the end. And Dredd's an interesting case, because it really doesn't matter if he's gay or not – he can't act on his impulses either way.
Personally, I believe it's more important to treat people with respect, even if their values don't agree with yours. Forcing someone to change through emotional abuse is damaging and could lead to suicide. Seek help through rough times, everyone! Things do get better, if we're bullied for whatever reason. Can be hard to believe it at the time, though.
Why do I like torturing Dredd? (Or is it torture? ;) )