Warnings: OOTP and Before spoilers[.]May contain slash at a later date.
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[Nothing Goes as Planned]
.Chapter 1: First Mistake
Nothing goes as planned. A fact I had to learn, most unfortunately, the hard way. Some things you don't just plan. Some things you don't count on happening, not even in your wildest dreams.
I never planned on falling in love, and I most definitely never planned on leaving my only home, Hogwarts. But most of all, I never planned on lying here on the cold, hard floor, writing the following with my friend's blood. But someone has to know.
I can only pray someone finds this in time, before its to late. Not for me, no, I'm already lost. No one can rescue me. But perhaps. . Just perhaps, someone will come before I've doomed the entire wizarding world to follow my fate and before he dies.
So please, if you've found this, don't put it down. Don't ignore it, classifying it as some silly prank.
Please. . Continue reading, as this is my story.
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I don't know really remember when it happened, but I know it began sometime around where I told my friends to sod off. I suppose, that was my first mistake.
Yes. . Now that I think back, I can remember it like it was yesterday. .
I remember I was reading ahead in some of my courses (a habit I picked up some time during the summer whilst locked in my room,) when it happened.
"Harry?" Asked Hermione nervously.
I begrudgingly looked up from my book, "Yes?"
"Is. . Is something up?"
"No." I said a little to quickly. I then went back to my book.
Hermione cleared her throat to capture my attention again, giving a quick glance to Ron for reinsurance. I quirked an eyebrow and studied her. Now I knew something was going on. Hermione was almost never unsure of what to say.
"Just spit it out." I said calmly. I didn't mean to sound rude at first, but I guess I did. All I had wanted to do was to get back to my bloody reading.
"Harry. ." Hermione glanced over at Ron again.
Ron gulped and continued for Hermione, his eyes never leaving the tabletop. He drummed his fingers on the surface nervously.
"Well mate, It's just that. . Well. . We think-- I mean, well. ." He trailed off.
"You've been acting different lately." Finished Hermione in a meek voice, looking at me hopefully. She was probably hoping I wouldn't get up and leave in a fit of anger, like I had been doing a lot lately.
I, like the arse I am some times, pulled a rather rude face and said, "Gee guys, I can't imagine why I'd be acting at all different. No, I suppose I should probably continue my life, just like before. Before Cedric died, before Sirius died, before this whole damn war started. "
Hermione bit her lip nervously before saying in a soft voice, "I know it is different now Harry, but you can't continue to blame yourself. . ."
I smirked. "Hermione, I blame Voldemort, I blame Umbridge, I blame Bellatrix, I blame The Ministry, I blame Snape, I blame Dumbledore, but your right, most of all, I blame myself."
"But you can't Harry. . It wasn't your fault."
"I bloody well can Hermione. If I hadn't been so stupid as to pry into old hooknose's private life, and if I hadn't been so stupid as to not even try at Occlumency, perhaps Sirius would still be alive."
"Harry--"
"No. None of that matters Hermione. So what if I blame myself? So what if I'm changing? Its time we all took a stand and started growing up. The past four times Voldemort has came after me, it has been on pure luck that any of us survived. We need to grow up. We're running out of bloody luck! And if growing up means we have to start acting differently, then that's a bloody change I'm going to accept. You two should to."
"I understand Harry." Said Hermione, clasping Ron's hand. "We both understand."
"No you don't." I said softly, staring at my book. I wasn't reading, but I was hoping at the time, it would get them to drop it. No such luck.
"But we do. We were there three of those times with you Harry. We saw what he was capable of. But you can't continue to pull away. Soon you'll be to far and we won't be able to save you."
I looked up and smirked. "Remember Hermione? The savoir doesn't need saving."
The savoir doesn't need saving, was one of the newest catch-phrases some stupid little Hufflepuff first year had given me when trying to defend the good name of the boy-who-refused-to-die to some Slytherins.
"Everyone needs saving." Said Hermione soothingly, placing a hand on my knee under the table. "We're here for you Harry, you need to remember that. We're here for you. ."
I pushed back and stood abruptly, slamming my book shut.
The librarian shot me a look, but I ignored her. Hermione just wasn't getting it. Or maybe she was, and I was just to blind to see it at the time.
"Well Granger, I don't need your help.
Hermione looked hurt, and let me tell you, she regained her voice back full force at a surprising speed.
"Well excuse us, Mr. Potter, for caring at all about your safety. Excuse us for trying to help, and excuse us for ever being your bloody friends in the first place."
Ron looked at her wide eyed as Hermione stood, her eyes narrowed in anger. "Good day Mr. Potter."
She grabbed Ron's hand and tucked her book under her arm, stalking out of the library with her robes (and ron) billowing behind her.
I stood there for a long while, staring at the place my two friends had occupied just moments before. Staring at the place my two former friends had occupied, just moments before.
Now that I think of it, it was weird.
Even though we had had previous fights, such as the series of fusses in fourth year, I knew this one wouldn't be so easy to fix. Even then, I knew I had probably just lost the two closest friends I had ever had.
Now that I look back I remember how I hate being right.
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A/N: I only made this story to assist me into getting over writer's block for other stories such as Prince charming and Past, Present, and Future. If any of you like it however, I'll try to continue it. In other words, review if you like.