~
Fallen
Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
She sat up stiffly, her fingers fisted tightly upon her lap as she stared ahead into the room, her thoughts swirling around her, wrapping themselves around her. The black leather-bound book fell with a thud to the grimy floor, unnoticed, as the woman with the fiery red hair wept.
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Ginny Weasley had always been the smallest of the Weasleys, always overshadowed by all her brothers. Bill, the Gringotts cursebreaker. Charlie the dragon tamer. Percy the rule abiding. Fred and George the pranksters. Ron the best friend of The-Boy-Who-Lived.
Who was she? She was just plain Ginny. Just Ginny. The little tag-along of the Dream Team, the girl with the crush on The-Boy-Who-Lived, the girl who opened the Chamber of Secrets.
It haunted her then. It still did. She wondered if she would ever be free of Tom Riddle, who somehow always lingered on the edge of her consciousness. She wondered if she would ever get a chance to outshine her outstanding brothers. She wondered if she would ever gain a name for herself. She wondered if one day, she wouldn't be known only as the 'girl Weasley'.
As Parvati once put it, "Ron's sister… Er…What's-her-name."
Perhaps, just perhaps she ought to have realised, that Tom Riddle was but mere foreshadowing of her future. She never saw it coming, but it was just a slow sinking. Gradual.
For the Dark Arts were where she made a name for herself. The girl whom the Dark Lord chose.
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
She remembered Draco Malfoy looking appraisingly at her, in her sixth year, when news finally leaked out that she was the one who opened the Chamber of Secrets in her first year. She believed it was Ron's fault. He was the one who had gotten drunk, and spilled the beans. Just as she finally worked up the courage to be noticed, she realised she didn't need it. People noticed her, from a distance away. She was shunned. Whispers spread.
She remembered the Slytherins becoming more civil towards her. Pansy Parkinson actually apologised once, when she had accidentally bumped into her. Arrogant, superior Pansy Parkinson had apologised.
Little by little, she grew closer to the Slytherins, than her fellow Gryffindors. For the Dream Team never paid any attention to her, and at home, she was eclipsed by her brothers. The Slytherins were nice, in comparison. She found herself becoming more of a Slytherin, associating more and more with them than with her house-mates.
Eventually, she became fast friends with the Slytherins, much to the chagrin of the Terrible Trio and her family. She argued, and she fought. She ignored their pleas, and distanced herself from them.
For it was in the Dark Arts, that she was noticed. Ginny Weasley had friends.
We all begin out with good intent
When love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
She also remembered her first love in her sixth year. She had dated before, yes. But they were never loves, just a way to pass the spare time. Ironic, that her first true love would turn out to be from her family's rivals.
She remembered when Draco asked her out on a date to Hogsmeade. Maybe it was just her imagination, but she liked to believe that whenever he was around her, he seemed to melt a bit, become more human than cold icy dagger. They became closer, and he proposed, on the night of her graduation, away from her family. Lying became her second nature.
She knew what she would say, and she knew what it meant for her future. She knew, and she accepted, falling even deeper in. They kept their marriage a secret. No one else knew, except the other Slytherins.
She was asked to become part of the Order, as she knew she would be. She declined laughing, saying that she had other plans for her future. She did.
She lied to her family, saying that she had a date, and was out for a night in the town. They never suspected. She lied, and she went for her initiation. They never found out that she was a Death-eater, like her husband and her friends.
She never bothered to tell them.
For it was in the Dark Arts, that she found her true love. He never told her that he loved her, but she knew, and he knew.
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
I've held so dear.
She immersed herself in the Dark Arts, moving away from the Burrow, on the night that she revealed that she was already married. Her parents were shocked of course. There had been a big row, and she had been the one to make her grand exit. She moved into Malfoy Mansion.
Surprisingly, Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy didn't mind. Instead, they approved, for reasons she never found out. She was glad.
Her "friends" still kept in contact with her, though their letters were more of requests for her to see the wrong of her actions, and to turn back; it wasn't too late. She ignored them. Her parents constantly begged her to "divorce that bastard and return to the Burrow". She ignored them too.
She was a Death-eater, and she did what Death-eaters did. And she revelled. She let herself lose herself in the darkness within her, immersing herself in the memories of the past, where Tom Riddle had taken control of her mind and body. She liked it, only that now, she was the one in control.
So she killed, and abandoned Ginny Weasley amidst the killings, threw away her conscience, and became Virginia Malfoy.
Now, Draco was her life, and she was his. She did not care for much, just as long as Draco was with her. Her Draco. His Virginia.
For it was in the Dark Arts, that she found her true calling. Virginia Malfoy, wife of Draco Malfoy, right-hand man of the Dark Lord.
I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I've messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
The Dark Lord sent Draco out on missions often, and she was proud of him, proud that he was so important. They never told her what went on in the missions, but she didn't mind.
She was shocked, and grieved, to discover that it was on one such mission, he had been caught by Aurors, led by The-Boy-Who-Should-Have-Died. It had been splashed over the Daily Prophet. The-Boy-Who-Lived catches You-Know-Who's right-hand man.
She knew where he was in Azkaban, and she wondered if he was okay. She thanked Merlin that all the Dementors had been eradicated. The Ministry were paranoid, that the Dementors would once again return to the side of their Lord. Her Draco had to be alive. Her heart would know if he wasn't.
Her family had tried comforting her, but she knew it was more of a familial obligation than a gesture of concern. She gave them a fake smile, and sent them on their way. It hurt, it hurt to be separated from the one she loved so much, and to know that he was suffering, made the agony worse.
She visited Draco often, always accompanied by a high-level Auror, but never someone she knew. She cried and grabbed at his hands, and begged him to hold on, that all would be all right soon. He wiped away her tears, told her he was fine and tried to stay sane and alive, amidst all the torture by the Ministry for information, for her sake.
For it was in the Dark Arts, that she realized that love hurt. Virginia, love, don't cry, I'll be back soon.
Heaven bend to take my hand
I've nowhere left to turn
I've lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
She had no choice; she turned to the Dream Team, beseeching them, to do something, anything. She begged them to let Draco free, to give him back to her.
They stared stonily back, before telling her that it was no use, it was beyond their control. She knew they were lying. She knew that they had the authority to let him go. She knew they didn't want to.
But she didn't care. She needed Draco. He was her drug, she was his, and apart, they were dying, wilting. She knelt before Ron, her brother, and pleaded for mercy on Draco's behalf. Please Ron, let him go. For my sake. He had refused, coldly, emotionlessly, callously.
She left that day, the fire in her extinguished. Her Draco would never, could never be reunited with her.
For it was in the Dark Arts, that she finally waned. Go away, Ginny, I can't help you – there's nothing I can do.
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
That it's one misstep one slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
It was on a particularly cold December night, that the Dark Lord was finally defeated. She felt it, even before she knew it. Tom Riddle died in her, taking a part of her with his demise. She was incomplete.
The next day, it was all over the Daily Prophet. You-Know-Who destroyed by The-Boy-Who-Lived. She fell to her knees, crying and sobbing. Her Dark Lord. Gone forever.
She knew that sooner or later, all her lies and deceit would be found out. Her Draco would be killed, never to be released. Now that the Dark Lord was gone, they would exterminate all Death-Eaters – to ensure against another Dark uprising. Her Slytherin friends were all dead, in one way or another. Beautiful, deadly Blaise Zabini was missing, presumed dead. Cunning, sly, brave Pansy Parkinson, who refused to leak any information about the Dark Lord, had been tortured into insanity by Aurors. Hulking, brutish Marcus Flint had been killed in cross-fire.
She knew that her Draco would eventually join them.
And soon, it would be her turn. She would be discovered. She would not lie anymore. She was knew who she was, and was proud of it. She worked for Death; she was not afraid of it.
The owl came two days later. Her Draco, her rock, had slipped. Her dragon was no more, departed of this reality. She wept silently, for tears were not enough for her grief and despair. She never got a chance to say good-bye.
At that moment, deep inside her, Virginia Malfoy's soul perished.
For it was in the Dark Arts, that she knew what it was like to have loved and lost. Dear Mrs Malfoy, we would like to offer you our deepest condolences.
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I've messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
They came for her three days after the owl. They said they were to search the mansion for any Dark objects, and they were to take her away for questioning. She refused, and they tried using force. She fought them, stunned them, bound them, cursed them. Avada Kedavra.
She had always been fast with her wand, taking out several, before they finally took her out. Her secret was out, the mark on her forearm finally spotted.
They threw her in Azkaban, as she knew they would. She refused to cry, refused to show weakness, to them, to the Light. To the bastards. The bastards who took the Dark Lord. The bastards who took my Draco.
Her family visited her. They sobbed and cried, why Ginny why, why did you choose You-Know-Who. Because you made me. She snarled at them. She hated them, for neglecting her, for not bothering about her feelings, for being against all of her choices, for letting Draco die.
They stared incredulously at her as she let the torrents of emotions go, as she yelled and screeched at them, I hate all of you, you never really bothered about me. They yelled back, gesturing emphatically at her Dark Mark, we told we so Ginny, we warned you against going out with Malfoy. She screamed back, I love him, why can't you just let me be happy. She didn't care. She was lost. It escalated into something way beyond a family argument, eight against one.
The Aurors intervened when Ron pulled out his wand, as Molly broke down into tears, the rest of the family rushing to her. She glared mutinously back at their departing backs through the bars.
For it was in the Dark Arts, that she was lost to her family forevermore. Oh Ginny, we told you not to associate with those Slytherins… we warned you!
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
The woman with the fiery red hair turned in her filthy cot, as the door to her cell squeaked open. Her lifeless brown eyes, once warm with love, watched the tall, lean man step in. His black hair fell carelessly about his green eyes, as his eyes flicker over her dishevelled appearance, lingering seconds longer on the mark on her pale left fore-arm, taking in the sparse surroundings of the cell, the dirty mattress, the un-cleaned chamber pot, the black leather-covered diary on the floor. He stopped for a moment to wonder if the diary was hers.
"Hello Ginny."
"I'm Virginia."
"Virginia."
"What do you want, Potter."
"Gin, sorry… Virginia, why. Why did you choose Malfoy? Why did you go over to the Dark side?"
She noted that his voice carried hints of desperation and confusion. He was playing with his wand, probably a sign that he was uncomfortable, she noted as she bent down to retrieve her diary.
"Who decides which is the Dark side and which is the Light? And I did not choose Draco, I loved him, and you all just couldn't accept it. I was happy with him, he made me happy, he never made me cry. But you all never saw it. You people assumed I was unhappy with him, that he tormented and tortured me. He never did."
"Did I ever tell you I loved you?"
"No Potter, and I don't give a rat's arse. You never showed it. I was just Ron's little sister to you. And I suppose now Hermione Granger is Hermione Weasley, you decided you needed a woman in your life, and just picked me? Am I supposed to be honoured oh glorious Boy-Who-Lived?"
He looked even more miserable, and she felt a prick of triumph, this was the man who made her Draco's life miserable in Hogwarts.
"It isn't that way! If you promise to go with me, to… join the Order, you'll be released from Azkaban."
"You never offered Draco any similar chance. Why? Is it because he was a Malfoy? Potter, if it helps your slow mental processing in any way, I'm a Malfoy too. Get that into your thick skull. I begged you to help get Draco out, but you didn't. If you didn't help him then, why help me now?"
Her voice was tinged with bitterness and grief, and the man felt a twinge of guilt and hurt. He persisted though. "No Gin! I mean it, it's a serious offer!"
She sneered, Malfoy-style. The man noted sadly, how much she had changed, as she mocked. "It's Virginia, you numbskull. And my family put you up to this didn't they Potter."
It wasn't a question, and he looked distinctly dismal. "Well… erm. Not really. I wanted to come too, wanted to help. I missed my Ginny."
He was as she remembered, a terrible liar, she knew her family made him come. She pretended to not hear him, flipping slowly through the black book, her fingers remaining moments longer on each page and moving photograph, as she traced her Draco and her faces, a faint smile on her face, her eyes closed in pleasure, as her mind took her down memory lane.
The green-eyed man now looked distinctly sorrowful, as he repeated his words more forcefully. "I missed my Ginny."
Her head snapped up, and she levelled him an angry glare, spitting out harshly. "I was never yours Potter. Too bad. Ginny Weasley is of the past. I'm Virginia. Virginia Malfoy."
He was taken aback, and hesitated, as if fighting an inner battle, twirling his wand about his fingers, as she watched the spinning idly. "I… Were you really happy with him, Virginia?"
She was mildly surprised by his question but when she answered, her voice was firm and strong. "Yes, happier than I ever was. I killed innocents, but I didn't mind. Because I was with my Draco, and he will forever be with me. Here." She gestured to her heart. And I will go to him now.
Before the raven-haired man had time to react, she lunged forward and tore his wand from his fingers.
For it was in the Dark Arts, that she found release and fulfilment. I'm coming, Draco, I'm coming.
~ End