Happy New Year's Eve!
Again? Really? I thought the honeymoon phase was supposed to end, Kitty thought, sneering briefly before taking a sip from her glass of white wine. Especially when they've been married for years now.
She realized that she might just be bitter - after all, her last relationship hadn't ended either well or all that long ago, and she was still a little too upset to think about finding a new guy yet. Still, it wasn't pleasant to see Kurt and Blaine being the perfect hosts, pulling out chairs and making sure all the food was on the table in a manner that looked almost choreographed in how synchronized it was. Not when she was going to have to go back to her cramped dorm and obnoxious roommate.
"There a reason you're shooting daggers at Kurt and Blaine?" Artie asked quietly, rolling up beside her so smoothly that she jumped.
"They look like there should be cartoon birds fluttering around their heads," Kitty griped, sipping again. "It's unbearable."
"I understand," Artie said, following her gaze. "I mean, Tina and I are great, but I don't think we've ever been that precious."
Artie's statement was punctuated by Kurt leaning over and whispering in Blaine's ear, making him blush and preen before kissing Kurt on the cheek. Kurt then leaned back against the kitchen counter and watched Blaine walk over to Sam and join his conversation with Mercedes and Roderick, a besotted look on his face.
Kitty had to gag.
"Don't have a hairball," Artie said, earning a stern glare from Kitty, who hated feline-related puns. "Grab some more wine. Go talk with Santana. The jealousy passes."
"You sound like this has happened before," Kitty said, raising an eyebrow.
"Rachel ended up crying in my lap at another one of these potlucks back before you moved out here," Artie explained. "She and Jesse hadn't gotten together yet, and Blaine and Kurt were even more disgustingly in love since they were still technically newlyweds, which made her sob about being a spinster forever and getting a cat. The rest of us made sure never to let her have pink wine again after that."
Kitty let out a reluctant laugh at the tragicomic story. "Luckily for everyone here, I'm a slutty drunk, not a sad one. Watch out later."
"Aaand I'm gone. Tina will claw your eyes out if you make a pass at me later," Artie said, putting his hands on his wheels.
"But who will I have a sloppy one-night stand with? Everyone else is taken or gay," Kitty whined playfully.
"Roderick? I mean, you might eat him alive, but he's the most eligible bachelor here," Artie called out, rolling away.
Kitty let him go, quirking her lips for a moment as she considered - Roderick? Hmm…. Before she could get too caught up in plans, though, Blaine called for everyone's attention.
"Kurt and I just wanted to thank you all for coming to New Directions Potluck Night," he said, beaming over at his husband. "We know it's kind of difficult to make all our schedules line up, but-"
"-This is a really important night for us," Kurt finished, walking over to stand beside Blaine, who wrapped an arm around his waist. "We wanted all of you to be here for this."
"Kurt's gonna be the Dumbledore of NYADA, oh my God I knew it," Sam said, interrupting the moment and earning himself judgmental looks from most of the room, Kitty included.
"No," Blaine said slowly. He and Kurt shared a look before they continued in unison, "We're having a baby!"
The room erupted in cheers as Rachel ran forward and engulfed them in a three-way hug.
"You didn't tell me we were announcing it tonight! I would've dressed better, prepared a song-"
"We wanted everyone to be surprised, Rach," Kurt said. "Even the woman whose uterus we're leasing."
"Wait, you and Berry are having a child? Dios mio, I'm moving out of the country," Santana said, holding up a hand. "The lungs on that baby, Christ."
Blaine said something placating to her, but Kitty zoned out a little then, stuck on the announcement. She was genuinely excited for them, and she knew they'd be great (if slightly helicoptery) dads, but….
God, is their life just a fairy tale? she thought, following everyone to the dinner table silently. I know they broke up a couple times, but they've always come back to each other. They had a lavish proposal and surprise wedding and now a baby? What's next, a fairy godmother granting them a wish?
She came back to the conversation as Jesse passed her a dish of green bean casserole, taking a little and passing it off to Mercedes. Of course, she managed to find her focus just in time to see Blaine nestle into Kurt's side contentedly and Kurt respond by feeding him a bite off his own fork.
"For the love of God," she said. When the whole table stopped to look at her, she realized that she hadn't used her indoor voice. "Oops."
"Problem, Kitty?" Kurt asked, voice tight.
"No, not a problem, just-" she took another sip of wine, figuring it couldn't hurt to be a little drunk while saying this, "Have you two ever considered not being so painfully in love?"
"What?" Blaine sat up straight, looking hurt.
"Shit. I don't want you guys to divorce or anything, but - look at you. Blaine was just practically in Kurt's lap, and Kurt was feeding him. What grown men do that in public?" Kitty asked, trying to explain herself - maybe that extra sip of wine hadn't been such a great choice.
"I get it," Tina piped up, drawing some focus away from Kitty. "We all love you, but sometimes…."
"Sometimes you see them staring mushily into each other's eyes and you want to stab out your own?" Mercedes finished.
"Sometimes you see them holding hands wherever they go and want to start a spontaneous game of Red Rover so you can try to knock them down?" Santana offered.
"Sometimes you see them burned into your toast and wonder if you need to alert the presses?" Brittany said, making Kitty have to bite her lip to keep from laughing.
"All of you girls feel this way?" Kurt asked.
"Not just the girls," Artie said. "I stopped playing Halo with Blaine because all I could hear over the mic was you two saying I love you every single time Kurt left the room, even if it was just for a moment."
"I used to make Myron go look in the windows of the choir room for me to make sure you two weren't having a moment in there while I wanted to practice," Roderick said sheepishly.
"I'm thinking about charging Blaine a quarter every time he brings you up in a conversation that's not explicitly related to you," Sam said. "I think I could earn enough money for Super Bowl tickets that way."
"Are we really that bad?" Blaine asked, looking a little ashamed. "We can stop…."
"Speak for yourself," Kurt said. "I like how our relationship works."
"And so do we," Rachel said hastily. "I think what we're all trying to say is that sometimes we just get…."
"Jealous," the whole group finished in unison.
"Not all of us have lives sponsored by Disney," Kitty muttered.
After a stilted moment of silence, people started passing plates around again, and normal conversations revived. Kitty couldn't help but notice that Kurt and Blaine were trying awfully hard to sit a respectful distance from each other, though, and they were resolutely focusing on their other dinner partners' talk. Part of her was touched that they wanted to acknowledge the group's discontentment, but most of her thought they looked wrong.
So she made sure to pass their end of the table on a trip to the bathroom.
"If I don't see you two acting as cutesy as always by the time I get back, I'm going to drop a bottle of red wine on your comforter," she hissed once she was in between them, acting like she just wanted to get an empty serving bowl out of their way. "We said we don't care that you're obnoxiously in love. Just try not to grope each other where we can all see, mkay?"
Kitty hustled off before they could respond, ditching the bowl in the sink and touching up her makeup in the bathroom. When she came back out, Kurt and Blaine were closer but not as on top of each other as before, and they were holding hands beneath the table.
That's more like it, she thought, smiling breezily as she returned to her seat. At the far end of the table, she could see Roderick engrossed in a conversation with Britt, doggedly trying to keep up with her logical leaps. He really did look handsome in his button-down and slacks….
Intra-glee club dating has worked before. Maybe it's time to see if the magic's still there….
(Two months and one kiss later, she'd learn that it was.)