Behind Blue Eyes
Bakura/Kage Bakura
Songfic- companion to Shadows on the Hill. Read this one first.
Bakura Ryou's point of view, on Kage Bakura
Notes- Kage Bakura is a name borrowed from someone else. Nobody on the show or in the manga calls Bakura Ryou by his given name, and so I prefer this way. Kage is a word that means 'shadow', as Yami means 'darkness'. I find it appropriate. Words in slashes are lyrics, as I can't get italics to upload right.
Disclaimer- I own nothing but the words I've written. Lyrics belong to The Who. Characters belong to Kazuki Takahashi.
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I wonder what they'd think if they could see you now.
My darker half, tenderly bent to help a little girl tie her shoelace.
I smile, watching you carefully go through the motions, making her giggle when you 'accidentally' pull out the bow you just tied.
It warms me to see you smile back.
Still smiling, I add a twinkle to the blue eyes on the canvas.
I always paint your eyes in blue.
/No
one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes /
/No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies /
My smile leaves when I think what they really would think, seeing you bent over the girl like that.
Almost as if reading my thoughts, a splotch of red falls from my brush, narrowly missing the painted child.
With a wry grin, I carefully mop up the excess, a few strokes turning the potential blood spatter into a red flower.
No, they wouldn't see what I do.
They see their convenient lies, and preconceived notions.
I sigh, remembering. Nobody will ever understand you, not as I do.
They'll never see you as more than the tomb robber, the murderer.
They've never bothered learning me, and they'll never want to know you.
I smile a sad smile.
They'll never know what
they've missed.
/But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be /
/I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free/
I watch entranced. You've finished tying the child's shoe, and you smile at her; pat her head, turn to go.
The girl holds on to your shirt, looks up, eyes pleading, saying something I can't hear in her little-girl voice.
You look surprised, but bend down to her level, leaning close to hear.
I laugh as she throws her arms around your neck. The look on your face is priceless.
/No
one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through /
I watch, continually amazed, as you stand and take the child's hand. She smiles and pulls you along.
My smile fades when I see her destination, a frantic-looking woman near the swings.
I watch your face fall, as the woman pulls the child away.
Even at this distance, I can see her curt thanks as she pulls the girl aside, inevitably to lecture her about strangers.
A good lesson, but it doesn't make the hurt that flashes in your eyes any less painful.
I smile to see the little girl wave goodbye, and blow you a kiss.
Your eyes shine with mixed emotion.
I'm sorry, my shadow.
Often I wonder if I should simply ask you to stay inside.
This world is not kind to one
like you.
/But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be /
/I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free /
You scowl, seeing my smile, and I smile all the more.
I wonder if anyone else would see that scowl the way I do.
I sigh, knowing. Nobody else would take the time.
None of them love you the way I do.
And none of them are loved, the way I know I am.
As I watch, I see the barest flicker of a smile.
No, nobody else will have your love.
I don't know whether to smile over that, or weep.
/When my fist clenches,
crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool/
/If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat /
I know what they think when they see you.
They think you're a killer, crazy.
They think you hurt me, that you will corrupt me.
I wish so badly I could tell them the truth.
I wish I could tell them how you've protected me, encouraged and strengthened me.
I wish I could show them the wonder in your eyes, when I took you out in the rain.
The wistful look you have now, watching that little girl play.
The love that shines, when you look at me, and the laughter seeing what I've painted.
Your willingness, always, to do what I ask.
Most of all, the playfulness you show, when nobody else is looking.
I wish they could see the you I love, who loves me.
I wish they could see you, behind the blue eyes I paint.
But I keep your secrets, and I let them hate you.
I frown, and reach for my cloth.
There's a drop of water on my painting.
You're smiling at the moment my paints have captured.
I wipe away the drop without mention.
It must be starting to rain.
As I box my paints, you surprise me with a kiss.
I smile, but sadly.
Nobody would believe who you are, behind your eyes.
/No one knows what it's
like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes/