Fun With Time
Chapter 1: Prologue
Narrator: The Sky was blue, the feild was Green, ad there was no sight of evil seen arcoss Hyrule.
(At Karkariko Village)
Woman #1: Stop, Theif!
Theif: Eat Shit lady!
Woman #1: But I need that Goron manure to fertize my carrots! weeps
Woman #2: Cmon Mary. We can get another batch.
Woman #1 (Apparently name is Mary): No we can't! That was the smelliest manure I could find!!
Woman #2: Oh NO!! Faces Thief You wanna f with me, bitch?
Thief: O.O;;
Woman #2: That's what I thought bitch.
(Woman #2 who I call Debbie suplex and elbow drop on thief)
Debbie: (Theif on ground) Yuck, you stink like shit.
Mary: Oh goodness! Thank you!
Debbie: No problem. I just want ummm..... let's see, 45000000 rupees?
Mary: What the f?? What do you thuink I am, a charity loser?
Debbie: Well, I do think you're a charity lover, bitch.
(Mary pulls out a handgun)
Mary: Shove this up your ass, bitch!
(Mary shoots Debbie, Debbie dies)
Mary: Now where's the manure?
(A sack of shit rolls down to Zora's Cape)
Mary: Oh shit......
(Meanwhile)
Narrator: SO! As I was saying, no evil sighted in Hyrule, a kid named Link was playing Strip Poker at the Market!
Link: So what is it Navi?
Navi: (Looks at the man's cards) It's only Full House, Link. Take him!
Link: Ha! I got a Triple!
Man #2: Sorry dude. I got 4 Aces. better luck next time, meanwhile, this babe's comin to it's daddy! (Grabs the women they were betting for and walks off)
Link: Hey! You lied to me!! (Tries to punch Navi)
Navi: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Link: If I won that I would given you the Skull necklace you always wanted....
Navi: What?? What didn't you say so??
Link: Cos it's meant to be a surprise, dumbass.
Navi: Oh.
Link: It's weird. What's this got to do with the Story?
Narroator: You'll see. Anyways, Link was alone in the night, drinking Vodka mixed with sherry from the brand: "Talon's Special drink from Underneath"
Link: Navi, if you were big, would you be hot?
Navi: I don't know. Why?
Link: I feel...... weird.
Navi: Like.....
Link: I feel.......... I dunno. I think the Narrator's wrong. This is going nowhere into the story!!
Narrator: Fear not you guys! I am always right, and was right, so how could I be not right?
Link: Because you only went to the University of Califlornia when you were 36.
Narrator: Oh shut up.
Link: Never!
(Link's skirt falls down)
Narrator & Navi: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Link: Why did you do that?
Narrator: Cos I felt like it. Why else? Anyways, time's awastin'. Link accidentally fell into a manhole.
Link:Owwwww!!
Narrator: He siad.
Link: Stupid F#$# thing! Why the $%4 is it #%%# there? They should at least put up a #$#%$ warning!
Navi: Oh shut up.
Narrator: There was a sign. You just didn't see it cos you were too drunk.
Link: Oh.
Navi: Anyways. Hey I found a genie lamp!
Link: Oooo! I'm gonna wish I won every strip poker I play and also a good s3x machin3!
Navi: I wish I could change time, Genie. rubs lamp
Genie: Your wish is in my command.
Link: Hey!
Genie: Hello.
Link: I don't mean that! Can I have a wish.
Genie: No, you piece of shit. You ain't my master. It said on my contract. (Pulls out glasses) In Section 1, Category Wishes, Page 234, Clause 13;7, No wishes will be fufilled, and will never be, unless the hereby person called out the name, MY name, Genie.
Link: Oh. Hey Navi, can you tell him to make me win every strip poker I play.
Navi: Whatever. Make Link win every strip poker he plays Genie.
Genie: No, master. In Section 3, Category Wishes, Page 122, Clause 67;3, Wishes are only commanded if, and only IF, he or she summons the genie, ME, once every decade.
Navi: Oh fine. Hey Link, wait another 10 years.
Genie: Impossible. In Secton 3, Category Wishes, Page 122, Clause 67;7, Wishes can only be accepted by the master, unless, I say UNLESS, he or she does not command a wish in 5 decades.
Navi: Fine..... fine......
Link: Navi, I can't wait 1 decade! All the chicks will be wrinkly and they boobs will sag, and they thingy will be loose for my thingy!
Navi: Link, can you stop talking about your dick for once?
Link: F no! Cut it off, I'll have no reason to live!
Navi: Whatever. I'll use my time controlling powers and move one decade forward!!
(Time moves forward)
Navi: Ten years have officially been passed!
Link: My watch broke.
Navi: What?
Link: MY WATCH BROKE!!! cries
Navi: Hey, you can make a wish now...
Link: Oh cool!
Navi: Make Link win every strip poker game he plays.
Genie: No, you piece of shit! You're not my master and I won't do anything til your my master. It says on my contract. (Pulls out glasses) In Section 1, Category Wishes, Page 234, Clause 13;7, No wishes will be fufilled, and will never be, unless the hereby person called out the name, MY name, Genie.
Navi: But I am your master!
Genie: No, your not my master, because you didn't command me between 5 decades!
Navi: Oh. What year is it now?
Genie: 2104.
Navi: Crap, we went forward 1 century!
Link: Good going Navi. Now we're stuck because of you, and that Shitty Genie of yours.
Genie: That's it! It says on my contract, Section 6, Category Communication, Page 1203, Clause 8;8, All who uses my name for abusive comment, will be abolished by, I say BY, me, the Genie. The punishment may be varied if, I mean IF, the comment was mildly abusive or excessively abusive.
Link: Oh Jesus.
Genie: Die, bitch, die! (Sends Link somewhere across time and space)
Link: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
Navi: Link! (Chases link with her new powers)
To be continued.....
Chapter 1: Prologue
Narrator: The Sky was blue, the feild was Green, ad there was no sight of evil seen arcoss Hyrule.
(At Karkariko Village)
Woman #1: Stop, Theif!
Theif: Eat Shit lady!
Woman #1: But I need that Goron manure to fertize my carrots! weeps
Woman #2: Cmon Mary. We can get another batch.
Woman #1 (Apparently name is Mary): No we can't! That was the smelliest manure I could find!!
Woman #2: Oh NO!! Faces Thief You wanna f with me, bitch?
Thief: O.O;;
Woman #2: That's what I thought bitch.
(Woman #2 who I call Debbie suplex and elbow drop on thief)
Debbie: (Theif on ground) Yuck, you stink like shit.
Mary: Oh goodness! Thank you!
Debbie: No problem. I just want ummm..... let's see, 45000000 rupees?
Mary: What the f?? What do you thuink I am, a charity loser?
Debbie: Well, I do think you're a charity lover, bitch.
(Mary pulls out a handgun)
Mary: Shove this up your ass, bitch!
(Mary shoots Debbie, Debbie dies)
Mary: Now where's the manure?
(A sack of shit rolls down to Zora's Cape)
Mary: Oh shit......
(Meanwhile)
Narrator: SO! As I was saying, no evil sighted in Hyrule, a kid named Link was playing Strip Poker at the Market!
Link: So what is it Navi?
Navi: (Looks at the man's cards) It's only Full House, Link. Take him!
Link: Ha! I got a Triple!
Man #2: Sorry dude. I got 4 Aces. better luck next time, meanwhile, this babe's comin to it's daddy! (Grabs the women they were betting for and walks off)
Link: Hey! You lied to me!! (Tries to punch Navi)
Navi: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Link: If I won that I would given you the Skull necklace you always wanted....
Navi: What?? What didn't you say so??
Link: Cos it's meant to be a surprise, dumbass.
Navi: Oh.
Link: It's weird. What's this got to do with the Story?
Narroator: You'll see. Anyways, Link was alone in the night, drinking Vodka mixed with sherry from the brand: "Talon's Special drink from Underneath"
Link: Navi, if you were big, would you be hot?
Navi: I don't know. Why?
Link: I feel...... weird.
Navi: Like.....
Link: I feel.......... I dunno. I think the Narrator's wrong. This is going nowhere into the story!!
Narrator: Fear not you guys! I am always right, and was right, so how could I be not right?
Link: Because you only went to the University of Califlornia when you were 36.
Narrator: Oh shut up.
Link: Never!
(Link's skirt falls down)
Narrator & Navi: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Link: Why did you do that?
Narrator: Cos I felt like it. Why else? Anyways, time's awastin'. Link accidentally fell into a manhole.
Link:Owwwww!!
Narrator: He siad.
Link: Stupid F#$# thing! Why the $%4 is it #%%# there? They should at least put up a #$#%$ warning!
Navi: Oh shut up.
Narrator: There was a sign. You just didn't see it cos you were too drunk.
Link: Oh.
Navi: Anyways. Hey I found a genie lamp!
Link: Oooo! I'm gonna wish I won every strip poker I play and also a good s3x machin3!
Navi: I wish I could change time, Genie. rubs lamp
Genie: Your wish is in my command.
Link: Hey!
Genie: Hello.
Link: I don't mean that! Can I have a wish.
Genie: No, you piece of shit. You ain't my master. It said on my contract. (Pulls out glasses) In Section 1, Category Wishes, Page 234, Clause 13;7, No wishes will be fufilled, and will never be, unless the hereby person called out the name, MY name, Genie.
Link: Oh. Hey Navi, can you tell him to make me win every strip poker I play.
Navi: Whatever. Make Link win every strip poker he plays Genie.
Genie: No, master. In Section 3, Category Wishes, Page 122, Clause 67;3, Wishes are only commanded if, and only IF, he or she summons the genie, ME, once every decade.
Navi: Oh fine. Hey Link, wait another 10 years.
Genie: Impossible. In Secton 3, Category Wishes, Page 122, Clause 67;7, Wishes can only be accepted by the master, unless, I say UNLESS, he or she does not command a wish in 5 decades.
Navi: Fine..... fine......
Link: Navi, I can't wait 1 decade! All the chicks will be wrinkly and they boobs will sag, and they thingy will be loose for my thingy!
Navi: Link, can you stop talking about your dick for once?
Link: F no! Cut it off, I'll have no reason to live!
Navi: Whatever. I'll use my time controlling powers and move one decade forward!!
(Time moves forward)
Navi: Ten years have officially been passed!
Link: My watch broke.
Navi: What?
Link: MY WATCH BROKE!!! cries
Navi: Hey, you can make a wish now...
Link: Oh cool!
Navi: Make Link win every strip poker game he plays.
Genie: No, you piece of shit! You're not my master and I won't do anything til your my master. It says on my contract. (Pulls out glasses) In Section 1, Category Wishes, Page 234, Clause 13;7, No wishes will be fufilled, and will never be, unless the hereby person called out the name, MY name, Genie.
Navi: But I am your master!
Genie: No, your not my master, because you didn't command me between 5 decades!
Navi: Oh. What year is it now?
Genie: 2104.
Navi: Crap, we went forward 1 century!
Link: Good going Navi. Now we're stuck because of you, and that Shitty Genie of yours.
Genie: That's it! It says on my contract, Section 6, Category Communication, Page 1203, Clause 8;8, All who uses my name for abusive comment, will be abolished by, I say BY, me, the Genie. The punishment may be varied if, I mean IF, the comment was mildly abusive or excessively abusive.
Link: Oh Jesus.
Genie: Die, bitch, die! (Sends Link somewhere across time and space)
Link: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
Navi: Link! (Chases link with her new powers)
To be continued.....