One

Mirror

I hate seeing her crying face. It's like looking in a mirror.

'Are you... crying... again?' I whisper, my hand reaching up to wipe away the tears rolling down Suiseiseki's cheeks. She holds me in her arms, eyes full of pain, sobbing away.

'Yes, I am...' she replies chokingly. 'I'm crying because you're such a wretched little sister!'

I sigh, feeling the life draining out of me already. How can I have failed so easily? My goal to become Alice has flutters away as I catch a glimpse of a dark silhouette against the artificial moon of the N-field. So Suigintou won. She is the one who has the right to becoming Alice between the two of us. I am a failure. The most unworthy of the Rozen Maidens. A horrible sinking feeling spreads though me. The one who looks like a boy rather than a girl. The one who refers to herself as 'Boku', instead of how a lady should address herself.

The one who has fallen.

I am going to die, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. But I am content with this outcome. I am not the one who shall become Alice, as I have fallen short of it, and so I have no right to carry on living. Let the strongest and most worthy doll win, so they can be with Father. So they can make him happy.

'You're coming back with us, do you hear me?' Suiseiseki sobs. 'We'll be together forever!'

'Together... forever...?' I whisper, a smile breaking across my face. How wondrous that sounds... if only... if only... Another time, another world... one with no Alice Game... a perfect world...

'Suiseiseki... you must... take my Rosa Mystica.'

She has to... become Alice. I know she hates fighting, I'm aware that she does not wish to do battle with the sisters, but I want her to become Alice more than any of the others. The chance to make Father... happy...

With this last thought, I leave.

.

I am drifting through the air, a small weak soul, alone, confused, afraid. It's so cold and dark and I know Suiseiseki has not collected my Rosa Mystica yet. I wish she would hurry up; I hate this empty black void already...

Then, I am being whisked away, to the glorious world of Suiseiseki's heart where there is a beautiful forest and the flowers are blooming and-

No.

I guess I'm even more unlucky than I thought.

The place is dark, the buildings are in ruins, the air is still cold. Broken pieces of dolls are scattered across the ground, and I can only think of one doll who would have such distaste.

Suigintou has taken my Rosa Mystica.

Damn her.

I can picture easily how enraged Suiseiseki would be, and I imagine Shinku would have something to say about it, too. It's easy to visualise Suiseiseki screaming, 'Give her Rosa Mystica back to her, Suigintou!' while the first Rozen Maiden gleefully dances around in the night sky, shining with her new powers, laughing away as Shinku mutters about how disgraceful this is. I can see Suiseiseki bringing my empty body back to the other two, Hinaichigo crying,'Souseiseki... no...' as Suigintou continues to gloat about the new Rosa Mystica inside of her.

Perhaps I can picture these things so clearly because I am watching it happen.

I move closer to the only thing that doesn't seem to be broken in this horrid field of Suigintou's, a mirror showing me what is going on now that I have died. I watch in pity as I see the pained look in my older twin sister's eyes, knowing that she will never be the same now that I have left their world for good.

I'm right here, Suiseiseki. Can you hear me? I'm calling to you...

.

'Come now... wipe your tears away... Souseiseki would not have wanted to see you cry like this.'

Shinku has got that right, if anything. I too feel completely wretched as I watch Suiseiseki desperately trying to stifle her sobs, only to give up and to instead bury her head in Shinku's shoulder, crying harder than ever. Kanaria and Hinaichigo are also present, all sitting on Jun's bed gazing down sadly at my lifeless body, while Jun and Nori stand behind them, also looking more than depressed. Even Shinku looks like tears might appear in her eyes if she's not careful. They're all so sad to see me go. This makes me feel even worse, so terribly guilty. I have left them all like this, because I was too weak... how could I have done this to them...?

I'm right here, Suiseiseki. Please show some signs to tell me you can hear me. Please, listen. I'm here. I'm calling to you. I'm watching right now, I have gone nowhere, really.

But no one can ever hear me.