AN

As the title suggests, this is based off the last episode of glee "On My Way". It starts out pretty much following cannon, but there should be an AU point coming up soon (because I doubt Glee´s writers and I have the same plans).

As you also may have guessed, this is an agnsty, depressed!Blane fic. I´m rating it T because of mild language and subject matter.

So without further ado:

Chapter 1: List

"Make a list."

Blaine looked up at her, confused.

"Whenever you feel down or depressed, make a list of all the things that make you happy." The elderly woman smiled. "Trust me, it helps"

His last guidance counselors words rang in his ears as Blaine walked down the hall.

Alright, he thought, a list, easy!

Well there's Kurt, my boyfriend. He smiled at the word. Kurt was his boyfriend. He had a boyfriend and it was perfect, handsome, amazing Kurt.

Now what else….

Blaine thought for a moment.

Well…I love singing. Yeah! The rush of being on stage, the emotion, the self-expression. Thank God McKinley had a glee club.

…

Glee club! Its so much fun, and everyone is so nice and accepting. He thought about his almost fight with Sam. Big deal, I´m sure they´ve had tons of fights with each other! He tried to think of one. Ok, maybe not since I´ve been here, but hay! I´ve only known them for what? Four months? I´m sure they´ve had some fights, it can´t be just me.

…

And Sam and I are cool now, right? I mean, we haven´t talked to him since that "I´m not for sale" comment, but…it looks like Sam let it go…right?

…

Well, lets see, what else….Finn! Yeah! He doesn't hate me anymore! He thought about that for a second , "Doesn´t hate me anymore"? Yeah that's an accomplishment…

He reached his locker. Its not that he hated me, Thought Blaine, he was just looking out for Kurt, right? Wonder why he couldn´t just come out and say it, that excuse was ridiculous. He´s jealous? Bullcrap!

He shoved his books into the almost bare locker. After cleaning all of his stuff out of his first locker to move to Dalton, then clearing it all out again to come here, Blaine really didn´t see the point in getting too settled in this locker, he´d only have it for, what? Another year and a half?

Do they switch lockers every year at McKinley? He wondered. Or do they just stick with the same one till graduation? There where so many things he didn´t know about this school. He hadn't even found all the bathrooms yet. Kurt had been a big help though. In his first week, Kurt spent most of his free time showing Blaine around. Blaine had no idea what he would have done without him.

Without him.

Blaine sighed.

Finn and Rachel are so lucky. He thought. I wish Kurt and I were in the same grade.

Blaine contemplated the year he had ahead. The only reason he´d transferred to McKinley was about to go off to college, then what? It´s not like he could go back to Dalton, not with Sebastian still there.

Unless he´s a senior. Blaine reminded himself. He sighed again, staring blankly into his locker.

No, not even then. I´m a traitor, I abandoned them to go join another glee club. We went head to head with them in competition and ruined their chances at nationals. No, they´d never take me back.

Blaine rubbed his eye. Then a soft hand touched his.

"Does it still hurt?" asked Kurt.

"Nah, I´m fine." Blaine smiled, but Kurt wasn´t listening.

"That son of a bitch." He shook his head "I can´t believe he got away with it."

Blaine suppressed a snort.

Oh, please, you had the evidence, you could have gotten him arrested if you´d wanted to. Blaine never understood why they gave him the damn tape. "The high road" they said. News flash! It´s not sneaky and underhanded to report a crime. It wouldn´t ´ve be you getting back at him, it would´ve Sebastian sending someone to the hospital and getting in trouble for it.

Blaine shook his head. It´s not like Sebastian getting in trouble would have made it hurt any less.

And hey! At least the surgery went well! That's another one for the list, what am I up to now? Four?

"I went to go see Dave at the hospital yesterday." Kurt said quietly.

"Oh yeah? How´s he doing?" He´d only met him twice, and almost gotten in a fight with him both times, but he still kind of felt bad for Karofsky.

Coming out had been one of the hardest things he´d ever done, and he knew how much it hurt to be harassed at school and get disapproving looks and talks from his family, every single day was. He didn´t blame Karofsky for wanting it to end.

"He seems to be doing better." Kurt interrupted his thoughts "I had him do that ´think about something you're looking forward to´ thing Mr. Schue had us do…" Kurt trailed off and bit his lip, "I´m still worried about him though…" His eyes got watery "Why didn´t I just answered my damn phone…"

Blaine put his arm around Kurt and caught a few disapproving glances from up and down the hall. He ignored them for Kurt though.

"I´m sure he´ll be fine" Blaine soothed. "He´s got someone like you looking out for him doesn´t he?"

Kurt smiled in spite of himself.

"and after all this, I´m sure he can get some help. Did you give him the number for the Trevor project?"

"Of course"

"Good." Blaine felt a pang in his chest. Jealousy? He pushed it down and smiled at Kurt "Your really helping him, you know that? "

Kurt gave a reluctant smile and rubbed his eyes. He looked like he was about to say something when the bell rang.

They stood for a moment, almost awkwardly.

"Well, we should get to class" Kurts broke the silence. "See you at lunch?"

"Of course." Blaine smiled. Who else would I sit with?

Blaine closed his locker and walked to his next class. Alone in a crowded hall.

"All around me are familiar faces,

warn out faces, warn out places.

Bright and early for the daily races,

Going nowhere, going nowhere."

What the Hell am I doing here? He thought

And I find it kinda funny,

I find it kinda sad.

The dreams in witch I´m dying are the best I've ever had.

He passed Kurts class room and looked inside.

I find it hard to tell you,

I find it hard to take.

Kurt doesn´t see him.

When people run in circles

It's a very very,

Mad World…

The hall emptied out as everyone got to their classrooms. Blaine had math.

Went to school and I was very nervous

No one knew me,

Blaine remembered his first days at Dalton

No one knew me,

Asked the teacher ´tell me whats my lesson?´

Look right through me, look right through me.

He looks around at his new class mates. The teacher drones.

And I find it kinda funny,

I find it kinda sad.

The dreams in witch I´m dying are the best I´ve ever had.

He´s back in the hallway again, alone.

I find it hard to tell you,

I find it hard to take!

He makes it to lunch to see most of the New Directions sitting together and laughing about something, like he and the Warblers use to, like his friends at his first high school use to.

When people run in circles it's a very very,

Mad World…

(It's a Mad World…)

He sits down at the table without bothering to get something to eat. Tina and Santana begin to sing back up without even looking at him.

Mad World!

(Mad world)

Mad World!

(Mad World)

He´s back in the halls, alone.

Mad World….

The bell rings and students fill the halls just as the last few notes fade into nothing. Blaine is lost in a sea of faces.

AN.

So what did you think? Reviews are always welcome, as you can tell, I need all the help I can get. XD

I´m going to be trying to incorporate songs the way the show does. I think they said in one of the interviews that all the songs in Glee had to be "real" (Onstage, in the choir room, in the car, ect.) or in their heads. That sound right?

Any thoughts on how I can integrate the songs better would be greatly appreciated. =)