Disclaimer: I do not have Naruto in my possession, and I could say the same thing for my little bitch of a cousin.

No, I'm serious, I lost the kid. And I have absolutely no idea why I thought now would be a good time to write a story.

Anyways, enjoy!

Operation: Get Sasuke!

Sakura propped on her shades and grabbed her gun. She spotted Sasuke from her position in the bush.

'Time to make my move' Sakura thought to herself.

She jumped out of the bush, right in front of Sasuke.

"Aaah!" Sasuke screamed, girlishly. "What the hell Sakura, you scared me!"

Sakura prepared her gun for fire and pointed it at Sasuke's nose. The shorter boy stared at her, horrified.

"C'mon, on the ground, on your knees, Uchiha, get on the ground, Sasuke." Sakura coaxed, roughly.

Sasuke obeyed her almost immediately. "S-s-Sakura, what's going on?"

"Why don't you tell me, Sasuke?" Sakura said, tilting her head.

"W-what?" Sasuke started.

"What the fuck is going on Sasuke?" Sakura said. "What-the fuck-is going on? I'm your girlfriend, what is going on? You won't stop avoiding me."

"Sakura, I-"

"Alright, come on, get up." Sakura said. "You can stand up now, Sasuke."

Sasuke stood.

"How 'bout we get a room." Sakura said.

"Sakura, we have to ta-"

"You like that Ino bitch, don't you."

Sasuke stared at her, confused. "What?"

"S'okay, s'okay." Sakura told him. "Cause you know what? I'm up for anything. I can blow both your minds, all you have to do is get us that room and I wil do everything you want me to, as long as you scream my name."

"Sakura…" Sasuke started, blushing madly.

"I'll pay for it, just get us that room, Sasuke."

"Sakura, I want to-"

"I'll find us a place and I'll make reservations, just tell me your gonna get dirty in that room with me."

"Sakura, I think we should-"

"I've been on birth control for a while now, we don't need anything" Sakura said.

Suddenly, Naruto rushed in, picked up Sasuke, bridal style, and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

Sakura stared at Naruto, as angry as anyone could ever gotten.

"Hey, how's my little Sasu-kitty doing?" Naruto said cheerfully.

Sasuke blushed and giggled.

Sakura balled up her fists. "Naruto, what are you doing with my boyfriend?" She screamed, angrily.

"What do you mean your boyfriend?" Naruto said. He refocused on Sasuke. "Oh, you mean you haven't told her yet?"

"I was just about to…" Sasuke said, still blushing.

"Tell me what?" Sakura said, with not a drop of anger lost.

"Sasuke's pregnant, with my baby!" Naruto yelled, excitedly.

"HE'S WHAT?" Sakura screamed

"Well, I was going to tell you, before you lost your mind…" Sasuke said.

"Yeah, sorry for not getting to that… but I can set you up with a friend of mine!" Naruto said.

She hesitated.

"Sure, that would be nice." Sakura said, finally calming down.

"So…" Naruto said.

"So…" Sakura responded.

"Sasuke's such a crybaby, right?" Sakura said, laughing to break the tension.

"I know!" Naruto chuckled. "He nearly bursts into tears with one finger!"

Sakura giggled.

"Hey!" Sasuke said, annoyed.

"Well, best wishes to you both, and make sure I get to visit you first once the baby is born!"

"We'll make sure of it, Sakura." The couple said, sincerely.

Eleven months later, Sasuke gave birth to Satari Uzumaki, a beautiful, healthy baby boy. The couple kept their promise and Sakura was the first one to see the baby. Satari has onyx eyes and blond hair.

Well, hope you enjoyed. Off to find my cousin!