A/N: I blame this on watching over a dozen Pokemon Go videos, and one of them had an Australian guy playing it without showing his face, and I started imagining Chris Hemsworth wandering around playing, then I thought of him in his Thor costume, and then this happened.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the recognizable content.
Warning: This is very cracky, so be warned.
"And I must choose one of these three?" Thor demanded, looking at the StarkPhone clutched in his hand.
"Hmm, well technically, but I know a way to get another," Darcy told him.
"What do they do?" he demanded.
"Well, you have to decide which starter you want, first," Darcy said. "The orange one is Charmander. It's a fire type and eventually becomes a dragon-thing that flies. The green one is Bulbasaur. It's a grass type and turns into this big thing with a flower on its back. The blue one is Squirtle. It's a water type that turns into this giant with water canons."
Thor's eyebrows furrowed. "And I must pick one of these fine beasts to best others in glorious combat?"
"Pretty much," Darcy said with an amused look on her face. "But I know a way to get one that's more your style."
"And what is this Pokémon?" Thor demanded.
"A Pikachu," Darcy told him.
"And what is this Pikachu?"
Darcy got a mischievous look on her face. "A Pikachu is an electric type. It can shoot thunder off and everything. It's practically a Mew Mew in game."
"Mjolnir in game?" he boomed. "I must have it! How do I obtain the mighty Pikachu?"
"Well, you'll have to explore. You see how the three starters are around the Tower? You have to keep walking away from them until it appears."
Thor sent a thoughtful look towards Mjolnir, but Darcy quickly said, "Wait, the game can see how fast you're traveling. If you're going too fast, it won't work."
"Then how slow must I go?" he asked, frustrated.
Darcy shrugged. "Just go normal Midgardian speed. Explore the city or something."
"I shall embark on this quest!" Thor decided, and he started to make his way for the elevator.
"Thor, wait!" Darcy said. "You need to wear civilian clothes or people are going to swarm you!"
Thor huffed, but stormed towards his room, red cape billowing behind him.
Thor made his way to Central Park before the mighty Pikachu appeared. He boomed out a laugh, startling some nearby pigeons. "Hah! You shall be mine, Pikachu! With you and the mighty Mjolnir, we shall be unbeatable!"
He tapped the Pikachu on screen happily, and it appeared on his camera. He deftly flicked his finger on the Poké Ball and years of skilled combat helped him get it on the first try.
Armed with his Pikachu, he set off farther into the park to see what he could find. He ignored people's pointing and whispering.
It only took a few minutes before a strange green bug appeared. He excitedly clicked it, and it proclaimed to be a Caterpie. He was in the midst of capturing the green creature when someone tapped on his elbow.
Thor looked down in confusion towards the child who had distracted him. "Yes?"
"Are you Thor?" the boy asked, eyes awed.
"I am!" he boomed just as his Caterpie was captured. "Yes, I have captured the Caterpie!" he declared.
If anything, the boy's eyes got wider. "You're playing Pokémon Go, Mr. Thor?"
"I am," Thor declared. "It is a fine warrior's game!"
"I have it, too!" the boy said, seeming awed. "I started playing it yesterday."
"And what starter have you?" Thor inquired.
"Oh, I got Charmander. It's my favorite," the boy stated.
"A fine beast," Thor declared. "I have Pikachu. It is much like my mighty hammer Mjolnir!"
"That's cool," the boy replied. "My name's Ryan, by the way. Hey, do you have any Pokémon trainer clothes?"
"Well met, friend Ryan," Thor greeted. "And what are these trainer clothes you speak of?"
"Well, a lot of people wear Pokémon themed clothes when they're playing so they feel more like trainers," Ryan explained.
Thor nodded thoughtfully. "If it is a tradition, I must comply. Tell me, where can I find such trainer clothes?"
Thor arrived back at the Tower several hours later with several bags of trainer clothes, a slightly smaller bank account (okay, so maybe it was Friend Stark's), and five new Pokemon. He was level two now, and he had a bright smile on his face, ready to continue his journey.
The Lady Darcy texted him several links to Pokémon Go tutorials. While his Jane was in her lab, he did much research for how to continue his journey and make his mighty Pikachu the most powerful to ever exist.
The sun was setting when he felt he knew enough to continue his journey safely. Without Loki to do the research for him anymore, he had to hope he had done so thoroughly enough.
Deciding that he should venture out to capture more Pokémon, he dressed in his new Pokémon clothes and made his way to the lab. Heeding the Lady Pepper's words about "laying low", he put the mighty Mjolnir in his Pokémon backpack instead of tying it to his belt.
When he entered his Jane's lab, she was scribbling away on a napkin and the Lady Darcy was typing on her laptop.
"Jane!" he boomed. "I am to set out on my quest! Worry not if you can't find me!"
"Quest?" Jane asked, looking up, marvelous news since she was so often consumed by her Midgardian science.
"Yes!" he agreed. "I will catch all of the Pokémon, and my mighty Pikachu will be feared in all the realms!"
"Pikachu?" Jane repeated, before turning to Darcy. "Did you introduce him to that new game that's taking over the world?"
"Yep," Darcy said happily. "He's quite taken with it."
"Well . . ." Jane said. "If it makes him happy." She turned back to him. "Be careful and have fun."
"I will, my Jane! Might I have a kiss of good fortune?"
"Of course," she told him, her cheeks taking on a slight pink tinge.
Thor swooped her up in his arms, careful to keep his phone safe, and was given the most fortuitous kiss to ever have been received by any warrior. With his Jane's kiss of fortune, he was sure to capture many great warriors tonight!
Heeding his research, Thor made sure to capture every Pokémon he came across. It was after capturing another Pidgey that he leveled up to level four.
"I am level four!" he boomed down to his phone, ignoring passerby's confusion. "And in time, we shall be the most powerful team to exist!"
Thor spent more time exploring the city, catching everything that he could. Despite what he'd read about running out of pokeballs, his aim allowed him to have no worries about this. If worst came to worst, he had more than enough money to buy more.
The city soon became dark, but Thor continued on, pleased with his mission. Before long, his first Eevee appeared on his screen. He beamed. He had heard of this most versicle warrior with cuteness that would distract from its power.
The Eevee appeared to be off into the trees of Central Park, so he followed the map. Unfortunately, he was distracted from his quest by the sounds of a struggle. He frowned, and took one last glance at the Eevee before putting his phone away in his pocket.
Wary of tearing his Pokémon backpack, he took Mjolnir out of it before re-zipping it. He ventured forward in the direction of the noise.
There was a nicely-dressed woman struggling against two Midgardian men. As far as he could tell, they were "civilians", so he couldn't throw Mjolnir at them like he wished to.
"Stop!" he boomed. "Or you shall face the wrath of the mighty Mjolnir and Pikachu!"
The two men paused for a moment before laughing incredulously, looking at him decked out in full Pokémon gear.
One said, "Why don't you scram while we'll still let you?"
The other said, "We'll even let you keep your Pokémon," Here, he snorted, "and run about doing whatever you geeks do."
Thor frowned, unused to this reaction to himself. "Do you not understand who I am, Midgardian?"
"An Avengers groupie with a Pokémon fetish?" one suggested, still holding the woman still.
"Ha," the other said, hand clasped over the woman's mouth. "That's a good one."
Thor felt rage bubbling. He held Mjolnir up to the sky, letting lightning strike down on it. "I am Thor of Asgard, a Pokémon Master, and you will not harm this woman!"
The one holding the woman's mouth promptly fainted. The other looked at Thor with fear before running away. He only made it ten feet before he tripped over a root and knocked himself out.
Thor shook his head, making his way to the awed woman. "You Midgardians are so strange," he told her.
"Thank you for saving me," she told him, tears welled in her eyes.
"Worry not, fair maiden, for my Pokémon lead me to you. Speaking of that, actually . . ."
Fearing the Eevee might have disappeared, he quickly gathered the would-be attackers and piled them up, sitting Mjolnir on them. Then, he pulled his phone out, unlocking it.
By some miracle, the Eevee was still there, and he took great glee and throwing a Poké Ball at it. He waited with bated breath as the ball shook. Thankfully, he caught it in the first go.
"Welcome, Eevee, Defender of the Weak, to my team!" he greeted in a boom. "You shall help me monumentally!"
That done, he clicked on the text app and clicked on NYPD, one of the most commonly used contacts. He texted:
I was led by the Defender Eevee to Central Park where the mighty Mjolnir assisted me in besting two men attacking a woman!
He included his coordinates with the button Friend Stark had helpfully added. Then, he turned his considering gaze to Mjolnir sitting atop the two men. He shook the thought off and turned to the woman still standing there in shock.
"How fare you?" he asked.
"I'm okay, I think, thanks to you," she told him.
Thor nodded. "Yes, the mighty Mjolnir and Defender Eevee offered me much help in such endeavors."
The woman looked confused. "I know that your hammer is named Mjolnir, but who is Defender Eevee?"
Thor eagerly clicked the Pokédex button, pulling up the new Eevee. He presented the Pokémon with a flourish.
She blinked. "Is that Pokémon Go?"
"Yes!" he boomed, pleased that she knew it.
"Oh, my co-workers have been playing it, and I've been thinking about getting it. Is it any good?" she asked.
Thor nodded. "It is a fine warrior's sport!" he assured her. "I am training to be the very best."
"What level are you?" she asked.
He glanced down at his screen. "I am almost level five!"
She nodded. "That should be when you can challenge gyms. Isn't Avenger Tower one? I heard my neighbor complaining about what happened when he challenged it. Apparently, it's impossible to beat it."
"Really?" Thor asked curiously, already planning to challenge it. "What was there?"
She shook her head. "I don't know. I didn't hear the entire conversation."
"Interesting," Thor mused. "Well, I am always up for a challenge. The mighty Pikachu will surely help me beat the leader!"
She nodded.
That was how the police found them, Mjolnir pinning two stirring men down and Thor talking to a woman while waving his phone around cheerfully, discussing battle plans while she solemnly nodded. The police chose not to ask.
Thor experienced the game crashing for the first time on the way home. He attempted to capture another Zubat, when the screen froze. He stared at him phone in shock, unsure of what was happening.
A friendly passerby wearing a Pokémon hat noticed. He wandered over and looked at the screen.
"Ah," the guy said. "Yours crash on you? You'll probably have to reopen the app. It happens sometimes."
Thor frowned. "And this will fix this problem?"
"It should," the guy agreed.
"Very well," Thor said and reopened the app.
Doing so seemed to make it work again, but the Zubat was gone. Thor looked at it in shock. "My Zubat disappeared!"
"Yeah, that happens, too," the guy said.
Thor made a furious noise, holding the phone towards the sky. "This game shall not take my fine warriors from me!" he exclaimed. "I will be the most powerful Pokémon Master!"
"Hey, dude, it's just a Zubat. It doesn't really matter," the guy said.
Thor made an infuriated noise. "Every Pokémon matters!"
"If you say so, man. It's just a game, though."
Thor huffed. "It is much more than a game," he told him, deciding this man was unworthy of Pokémon Go.
Thor was level five the next day, so he eagerly challenged the Avenger Tower gym. He had already joined Team Instinct, assured that the "mascot" was electric. He was expecting fierce competition, but he was confident in the mighty Pikachu.
He started the battle and watched in shock as a CP 1,000,000,000 Iron Man appeared and fired a repulser blast at his Pikachu, immediately besting him. Then, a video of friend Stark appeared.
"Hello, Pokémon Go player," Stark greeted in expensive clothes, gleaming Iron Man suits in the background. "As you can see, this gym is mine, and I will not be losing anytime soon. Sorry. Go beat the Hammer Tech one – it sucks. Leave my Tower alone."
The message ended, going back to the regular map screen.
Thor looked at the screen in shock for a moment before loud laughter boomed from him. "Friend Stark, I have underestimated you! Nicely done!"
He continued chuckling for the rest of the day, pleased to be teammates with one such as Stark. He was sure to vigilantly protect their home from other, less worthy players.
Thor decided to visit Friend Stark the next day, finding him in his workshop. He entered his Avengers code and the doors allowed him in, FRIDAY automatically lowering the loud music playing.
"Friend Stark!" Thor boomed. "I am pleased with your protection of the Tower's Gym!"
"Tower Gym?" Tony started to ask, but then his eyes widened. "You're playing Pokémon Go, too?"
"I am!" Thor agreed. "It is a most joyous game!"
Tony bounced in excitement. "I need to give you access to the Tower fields! Oh, and give you unlimited Poké Balls and Poké Candies and Stardust!"
Thor felt wary. "I will play with honor, Friend Stark. I do not wish to cheat."
Tony frowned, but relented. "Okay, so I'll just give you access to the Tower fields, then. That's fine. So, I made it where each floor of the Tower has more stuff in it. It's hard to explain, so I'll just show you. Give me your phone."
Thor handed over the device.
"Great," Tony said, rapidly clicking away. "This will make the Tower multi-leveled and really detailed whenever you're inside. There's different stuff all inside the more you explore. It'll take forever to find it all, and I have FRIDAY keeping it updated and everything."
Tony handed over the phone, then exclaimed, "Oh! And you can help me test these glasses!"
He pulled out a pair of normal-looking glasses that had a Poké Ball on the side. "Here, they work a bit like my helmet. They'll show the Pokémon without you having to look at your phone constantly. If you need anything, FRIDAYs connected to them, too. I'm going to make it where you can throw Poké Balls and everything by aiming with your hand. They'll be complete Virtual Reality soon, but you can be my Beta tester."
Thor nodded thoughtfully. "And they will help me on my quest to become the greatest Pokémon Master?"
"Yep," Tony agreed. "Have fun and let me know how those glasses work out."
Thor nodded solemnly. "I will, Friend Stark. May the best of luck accompany you on your Pokémon quests."
Tony waved him off. "I'm hacking in OP stuff, so I'm all good. Thanks, though!"
Thor gave him an unimpressed look at his lack of honor, but said nothing. Friend Stark helped him much in real battle, so he could do whatever he wanted in the Pokémon world, he supposed.
Thor spent many days exploring, leveling up as he went. He spent almost two days just inside the Tower, enjoying the many Pokémon and the glasses that allowed him to see the Pokémon without looking through his phone.
He had obtained an egg recently, and he was waiting for it to hatch, so he walked around, catching Pokémon and collecting more Poké Balls as he went. He was in the middle of a sidewalk when the egg appeared in front of him, floating in midair.
He stopped and watched excitedly as the egg got cracks in it, then hatched. He was somewhat disappointed by the Caterpie, but he was still pleased to have a new Pokémon. That in mind, he put another egg in the Incubator.
Thor enjoyed the day and ignored the three reporters avidly following him around. He had many goals in mind. His first mission was to defeat a gym. Then, he would need to reach level twelve to unlock the Great Balls for gaining stronger warriors. The berries were level eight if he wasn't mistaken, which was only one level away.
Thor mused on how to make his Pikachu the most powerful in all the realms as the reporters took pictures, not even bothering to hide what they were doing. He cheerfully waved at them before getting distracted by his first Growlithe. It would be a fine warrior to have on his team!
Now, Thor just needed to figure out how many of his Pokémon were ready to be evolved . . .
A/N: TBC . . . I have plans for this *cue cackling laughter*. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, but I'm open to ideas and constructive criticism!