I was reading some more about what might have possibly happened with Reid being addicted to drugs and realized it was just too good to pass up!
Reid walked slowy to the apartment, Morgan and Gideon were helping him since he had to use crutches-his foot had been sprained.
"It's okay, you don't have to go in," he told them.
"We want to," Morgan said. "You've been through a lot and just got out of the hospital. It's okay if you're not all there right now."
Reid nodded as he thought of the Dilaudid in his pocket. He was worried that they would wait for him to fall asleep and he wouldn't be able to use it. Gideon opened the door.
Once inside Morgan helped him to the couch.
"You want anything to eat?" Gideon asked.
Ried shook his head.
"Not hungry."
Gideon nodded.
"Maybe I should stay here for the night," Morgan suggested. Damn it, this was what he was afraid of.
"No...It's okay."
"It's no big deal..just in case you need someone in the middle of the night." It was those nightmares that were bothering Morgan. When he stayed the night at the hospital more than once would Reid wake up screaming.
"If I need anyone I'll call," Reid said with sarcasim hidden in his tone. He saw the almost hurt look on Morgan's face and he sighed. "I'm sorry...I just need to get used to being on my own again. I can't be dependent on everyone forever."
"No but you can take it slow," Gideon said quietly. "But I understand."
He squeezed the young man's shoulder.
"I'll come by in the morning," Morgan told him, and he nodded. He waited for them to leave and sighed when they did, heaviness growing in his eyes. Relieved to be alone, finally.
He closed his eyes as he fished the Dilaudid and the needle out.
"Tell me it doesn't help with the pain."
He was smarter than most people. He would know how to handle it. He wouldn't give as much as Tobais gave him. He didn't want to hallucinate again. He hated those hallucinations. He slowly stuck the needle into his arm and sighed as the pain evaporated.
It did help. He slowly collapsed on the couch. To exhausted to move. He sank into a dreamless sleep.
He heard the door open. He stiffened and rose, pushing the fallen Dilaudid back into his pocket. It was Morgan who stared at him in shock.
"What are you doing, sleeping on the couch?" He demanded.
"What are YOU doing sneaking into MY place?" Reid shot back.
"I didn't want to wake you up and make you go all the way to the door on crutches! But I didn't know you'd be a few feet away from it."
"Got lazy," Reid mumbled. "Bed seemed like too much work. He winced. Pain was radiating through his leg.
"You okay?" Morgan asked. Reid shook his head.
"Leg hurts. Can you get my some pain killers?"
Morgan hesitated. Because of the Diluadid the doctors had warned them to be careful with how much pain pills Ried took. They didn't want him to become addicted to those so soon after nearly becoming addicted to a very intense kind of drug.
"It's okay," Reid said, as if reading his thoughts. "I won't get addicted to Ibuprofene"
Morgan smiled.
"Right, of course."
Reid had to hide the drugs under his pillow when he was at the hosptail. Then he hid it in the night stand next to him. He hated the hiding, but didn't want it taken away from him.
Morgan handed him a glass and one pill. Reid knew better than to argue.
"Thanks," he sighed.
"You need any help? Getting dressed or..."
Reid rubbed his head.
"Morgan, I know you're trying to help but I need to do this on my own. I'm not weak."
Morgan frowned.
"I never said you were."
Reid bit his lip.
"I just need to feel like I'm in control again, ya know? I need to do stuff on my own. To show I can. That he hasn't changed my daily routine."
Morgan nodded.
"Of course." He wanted to help the kid, wanted to so desperatly but knew what Reid was saying was true. He had to be able to surive on his own.
"All right then, I'll leave you by yourself then. Is it okay if I swing by later this evening?"
Reid nodded.
"I'm sorry I'm so snappy lately," he added. Morgan smiled.
"It's okay-"
"No it's not. You're just trying to help and I've been an ass."
Morgan sat down next to him.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Did Reid want to tell him what he was really thinking? The deep rooted anger inside of him? No.
"Right now I just need to clear some stuff up in my head. I really don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling or acting or thinking."
"You should only concentrate on getting better, don't worry so much about other people. No one expects you to rebound just like that Reid. You've been through a traumatic ordeal and it's not saying you're weak if you need some time to heal."
But I am weak.
"Thanks," Reid said quietly. Morgan nodded, wishing he could do more than just give advice.
He stood up.
"I'll call," he said quietly and Reid nodded again and waited for him to leave.
So many emotions were running through him.
Why was he so snappy towards Morgan? Why couldn't he get Charles out of his head? Why did he BELIEVE Charles when Charles told him he was pathetic and weak? Why should he believe Charles about anything he said? And yet he did. He believed every word.
He swallowed as he fished the drug out and stared at it.
If he was already weak why bother trying to stop? With that he slowly opened it and took out the needle. He just needed another dosage. He'll know when to stop. He won't get addicted to it. He was in control of it...or was he?
I know the first part is a little slow, but it will pick up!