Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Dark Angel remains the sole property of Fox/James Cameron/Chick Eglee. And the song "Ende Neu" remains the property of Einstürzende Neubauten (see song lyrics translation at the bottom).
Ende Neu
"Tür
zu! Wir tanzen weiter
engumschlugen nur
Halt mich fest an den
zwei Worten
Ende Neu"
-Einstürzende Neubauten
Max stared up at the ceiling in Logan's apartment, her eyes glossy with salt tears. He sat beside her with his cool hand resting softly on her burning skin. Her own hands were bunched into tight fists at her sides as her body continued to revolt violently against her.
She'd finally found the ticking time bomb that had been programmed in her since birth, planted by Manticore as a safety net to ensure that all of the X-Series remained loyal to their masters.
"Max..." Logan's voice tried to break through to her. "What's happening? Max?"
Rolling her head toward him, she looked up at his worried face. When she'd been little and caught in the grip of a sudden seizure, Zack had always sat over her like this. Logan's features weren't as bluntly cut as Zack's. His were sharp and intelligent, but also soft and able to express a myriad of nuances she'd never been able to read in her brother. His mouth was firm, his eyes huge and watery behind his glasses. It wasn't his usual concealing, witty countenance but one that spoke clearly of a deep, almost animalistic fear.
Max forced a smile, one of her hands seeking Logan's. She hadn't felt well for days, which was highly unusual for her. She'd spent her entire life with a sparkling bill of health. Now, she supposed, she was paying the price for that privilege.
Ha. Privilege -- what privileges had Manticore possibly given her? They're created her to kill and destroy. The only good thing to ever come out of Manticore was her meeting the man at her side. They hadn't known each other long, and already he'd reached past all of her barriers to expose the screaming woman waiting to get out.
Feeling the spinning world begin to slow, she squeezed his fingers.
"Logan?"
"What is it?" he asked eagerly, needing desperately to help. He wasn't the kind of man used to sitting back and letting things happen. No. He was the kind of man to intervene at every opportunity. But they both knew that in this instance there was nothing he could do. Except...
"Dance with me..." she said, her voice catching.
"Dance?" his head jerked up. "Max...I can't..."
"Logan....please..."
He looked down at his wheelchair for a moment, his mind working over the physics of her request. Still pleading softly, she almost wasn't aware of him reaching for her, plucking her sweaty body off the couch and dragging her onto his lap.
His body felt cold under her. Her hair was damp against her head, slick with the struggle of remaining with him.
The bomb was ticking. Time was running out.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned against his chest. His chin pressed against the top of her head as she tucked herself tightly against him. The gentle thud of his heartbeat was in stark contrast to Max's quick, irregular pulse. Her muscles trembled as the dance began, Logan rocking her in his arms and humming a song she didn't recognize.
The sound of his voice and the tap of his heart against his ribs filled her ears, sank deep into her body. Of all the things to bring her down, she couldn't believe it was her own greatest strength that had betrayed her. Distantly, she wondered if Zack was facing the same ultimatum miles away...alone. Her grip on Logan strengthened. At least she had someone to see her through.
"Logan...I--" she started brokenly, but he cut her off with a gentle squeeze.
"Shh...don't talk, Max," he whispered. "Don't say it."
"I have to," she protested.
"No. There's time later...not now," he replied, his arms contracting to draw her closer.
"There is no later, Logan," she muttered.
Max was all too aware of what was happening inside her body. This wasn't just a bad stretch of seizures. With her barcode and super-human abilities came an expiration date, a self-destruct gene that would be activated with time. Manticore had known that their experiment could get out of control; they probably even had something that could save her. But she wasn't going to go back there, especially not as a dud with her own body's genetic structure slowly tearing itself apart.
"There's always later, Max," Logan insisted, his tears falling un-noticed on the top of her head.
"I don't think I'm going to make it through the night," she announced, her heart breaking at the pained sound he made.
"No..." he groaned. "I won't let you die!"
Max took in a deep breath and closed her eyes, attempting to hold onto her soul just a few seconds longer. "I don't have any regrets. Just...don't let me go."
He did what she said, his fingers digging into her skin.
"I'll never let you go," he vowed.
She didn't reply and he knew that the moment was advancing quickly on her. Pulling back enough to see his face and the broken, bitter pain in his eyes, she wanted nothing more than to tell him that she was going to be fine after all. But as she began drifting, gasping -- dying -- she couldn't so much as tell him the one and only thing she wanted to.
Her body shaking, she pressed her cheek to his and closed her eyes on the world.
Logan held her long after he knew that she was gone, unwilling to let go. Gathering her limp body up in his arms, he clutched her to his chest, tears spilling openly down his cheeks.
He'd never let go.
Brokenly, they danced.
"Shut
that door! We'll dance on
Tightly entwined only
Hold me tight
on the two words
Ending New."
