A/N: Guess what a person does when they're trying to pull an all nighter on New Year's Eve and they have a laptop and a fanfiction account? This One Shot is what they write.
I guess this is now my second story ever.
I pretty much BS all of this last night and since I typed it, I thought I might as well put it up. This is pretty much a meaningless One Shot. So don't expect anything deep nor good. Might do a part two if requested.
Also it's rated T because there's like a lot swearing and very mild suggestive themes I guess.
"Please!", Gerda said to the man sitting on the stool.
"Shut up kid!", The man said harshly to the fifteen year old girl. "I already told you, unless you have any gold to offer, get out of my nose right now!"
"Fine!", The brown haired girl stomped angrily out of the building. She forcefully wiped the angry tears that were threatening to escape her eyes at any moment. She had been trying hard all morning to get some help, but no one wanted to.
Two days ago, her best friend Kai was abducted by the snow witch. Nobody but her really missed him, since he, like her, was just an orphan. Nobody in town had the courage to go rescue him, and those who did were greedy bastards. Gerda angrily kicked the snow at the thought of the large sums they were demanding.
"Someone stop him!", Gerda looked up at the sound of that. She saw a young woman chasing a man who was running with a satchel. Gerda rolled her eyes at that. That dude was always doing that to new visitors into the town. Seeing she might as will do something, she stuck her stood out. He tripped and fell face first into the snow.
The young woman caught up and grabbed her belonging from him. "That's mine you dumbass!" She kicked him in the stomach. He trembled in pain as he crawl away.
Once he was up and at a safe distance, he yelled "Fuck you!" and was on his way.
"No fuck you!", The woman said and threw a rock straight at him. It created at very loud noise as it made contact with his spine. He shirked in pain and ran off. Once he was out of sight, she turned to Gerda.
"Look kid, I can't thank you enough for your help.", She said gratefully. The young woman was dressed all black and was had strawberry blonde hair in twin braids.
"It's no big deal, the moron does that all the time, but never gets away with it.", Gerda shrugged.
"I have to disagree with you there, it's a huge deal considering everything I own is in here.", She said.
"Really! Like everything?", Gerda asked surprised.
"Yep!", She put the strap over her head. "It's mostly gold to pay for a few things I ordered."
"That's cool. What ya' ordered?" She asked.
"Oh just this sweet new sword I've been fangirling over, and a change of clothes.", She answered.
"That's nice.", Gerda said.
"So um...?" She started, waving at Gerda.
"Gerda.", The young girl answered.
"So, Gerda, here's a little something for your trouble.", She handed her a small bag of gold. Gerda quickly stepped away from her.
"Look, I really can't accept this.", She said.
"Yeah, but I can't just leave you here without showing my thanks.", She said. "At least let me take you out to lunch." Gerda wanted to, but she knew she shouldn't.
"Sorry but I don't know you."
"Oh, right! Sorry 'bout that. My name is Anna.", She held out her hand. Gerda hesitated before taking it.
"Nice to meet you Anna."
"Nice to meet you as well Gerda, now we're no longer stranger. Now what ya' say I take you for lunch?", Anna asked again.
"Alright.", Gerda agreed.
"Great!", Anna clapped her hands together. "So since I'm new here and I don't know the place, how about you pick the place?"
"Let's go to Oaken's Post. They make the greatest sandwiches in the world."
Anna stared at Gerda in awe with wide eyes. "I loved sandwiches! Lead the way, my good friend."
With that, they started walking to the market place where pretty much everything was. Oaken's Post was a rather small place, but it had a comfy and cozy look to it. Thankfully there wasn't a huge line once they were in.
"Hoo hoo, what can I get you ladies?", Oaken asked once it was their turn.
"Hi Oaken I'll have a regul-", Gerda started, but Anna pushed her back.
"Cancel that order.", Anna said. "We'll have two of your greatest sandwiches you have. Nothing regular about them."
"Alright. Two of the specialty coming up."
"Oh, and some wine. I haven't had that shit in forever!", Anna said happily and turned to Gerda. "Want some too Gerda?"
Gerda just blushed and looked her horror struck. "Um Anna, I'm only fifteen."
"Right, sorry about that.", Anna apologized. "So just a beer then?"
Gerda thought she was kidding around, but Anna was dead serious. "No, it means I'm too young to drink."
"Okay, I get it. So soda then?", She asked and Gerda nodded. "Alright so what type?"
"I like Pepsi.", Gerda said smiling.
"Sweet, alright Oaken Pepsi for the lady.", Anna said enthusiastically.
Once that was done, they went and found a small table for themselves and waited for their meals.
"So Pepsi huh?", Anna started.
"I happen to love that brand.", Gerda said.
"I personally prefer Coke.", Anna said crossing her arms.
"Really! I can't stand Coke. It's the worse.", Gerda said making a sour face.
"Are you kidding me? Coke's the best shit ever! Pepsi is practically a Coke knockoff wannabe." Anna argued.
"Well, in case you didn't know? Pepsi is the new and improved version.", Gerda said with a mischievous smile.
"Say what you want Gerda, you can never beat the original.", Anna resorted. Gerda rolled her eyes at that.
"You're weird.", She said.
"Why thank you Gerda.", Anna said with mock elegance. She then chuckled. "I get that a lot."
Gerda smiled. "I can't imagine why."
Anna opened her mouth to speak with Oaken came with their food.
"Thank you.", They both said simultaneously. Anna took a bite and quickly fell in love with it. Her taste buds couldn't get enough of it. But all good things must come to an end. Soon they were both done with very satisfied stomachs.
"So what do you do for a living Anna?", Gerda asked as she was growing increasingly more and more curious about the young strawberry blonde.
"Fight monsters.", Anna said it like it was a normal everyday thing while tracing her finger on the circle on top of her wine glass. Gerda waited for Anna to tell her it was a joke, but she never did.
"For reals? You fight monsters?", Gerda asked. She really couldn't believe it.
"Yeah, fighting monsters is the only thing I'm good at that pays off. Plus it's fun and I get to travel the world.", She said casually.
"Whoa Anna. That's amazing and so cool!", Gerda said. She and her friend Kai shared the same dream of someday traveling the world together.
Anna smirked. "Hell yeah it is!",
Before Gerda could say anything more, someone slammed the door open, sending the wind in. A man with with auburn hair and sideburns walked in.
"Ah fuck me.", Anna murmured under her breath. She brought the hood of her cloak up, attempting to hide her face.
"You know him?", Gerda asked quietly.
"Yeah, his name is Hans. He's my idiot ex who I dumped over a year ago, but he won't take no for answer." Anna said annoyed.
Hans walked past them, but stopped midway. He had noticed the familiar braid sticking out of Anna's hood. His hand suddenly went and brought it down to reveal her face. When he saw who it was, his eyes lit up and he give her that stupid smile of his.
"Anna!", He said happily, but Anna glared at him.
"Hans.", Anna grunted.
"Baby! I've been looking all over for you!", He said and Anna rolled her eyes.
"Hans. We're not together anymore.", Anna said annoyed.
"Yes we are Anna.", He whined. "We promised we would be together for forever forever ever and ever!"
Anna stood up, grabbed his shoulders and looked him in the eye. "We are NOT together!"
All Hans did was get on his knees and held her hands. "Anna. My lovely, my beloved, my sweet heart, my darling heart and soul, please please please I need you."
When Hans stood up, Anna held him closed. She closed her eyes and leaned in for a kiss and Hans did as well. But Anna stopped, just as her lips were about to reached his. "Oh Hans, if only there were someone out there who loved you.", With that, she punched his face hard enough to send him to the ground.
Hans slowly stood up and blinked two times. Anna thought that Hans finally took the hints and straight up answers, but boy was she wrong.
"A chick who can pack a punch is hot.", He said, winking and then leaned in to whisper into her ear. "I like it rough."
Anna felt bile rise, but she swallowed it down. She sighed in defeat and sat back down. Hans quickly brought a chair and sat with them, smiling like the idiot he was.
"Gerda, I'm sorry for all this.", Anna said.
"Don't worry about it, it's fine.", Gerda said quickly and Anna smiled at this. She thought Gerda was an awesome girl.
"Anyway, Gerda this is Hans. Hans, this is Gerda.", Anna said.
"Nice to meet you Gerda. Isn't Anna a total badass?", He had his elbow on the table, resting his chin on his hand. He never took his eyes of of Anna.
"She certainly is.", Gerda said, smiling. And Anna rolled her eyes. "Hey Anna can I ask you a question?"
"Sure fire away.", Anna was becoming uncomfortable with Hans swooning and signing next to her.
"Have you ever fought a witch?", Gerda asked.
"Yeah, once.", Anna said. "That bitch was sure a pain in my ass. And she's the reason I'm stuck with fuckin Hans here.", She gestured angrily to Hans, but Hans smiled brighter with Anna said his name.
"Really? What happened?"," Gerda was curious.
"Yeah, I was in the woods and bitch sneaked up on me and was captured. Anyway, long story short, I threw a bucket of water on her and she died.", Anna said. "But before she died, she cast a love spell on this moron who was trying to take a stupid selfie with her. It was a love at first sight kind of thing."
"So he saw you and now you're struck with him.", Gerda said.
Anna nodded. "Yeah. At first I thought it was cute that this moron noticed me, but now it's just plain annoying and every time I get away from him, he somehow always manages to find me like a fuckin bloodhound."
"I'll follow you to the ends of the earth Babe.", Hans said sweetly and Anna rolled her eyes.
"And since the witch is dead, she can't undo it.", Anna slumped in defeat.
"Anna, I think I have an idea that can help the both of us.", Gerda said.
"If you got anything at all, then I'm all ears girl.", Anna. She was really desperate to get rid of Hans.
"Well, you see, my best friend Kai was abducted by the snow witch two days ago.", Gerda paused and Anna nodded her on. "Well, since you fight monsters and whatnot, how about we go there and rescue him. And we can force the snow witch to freeze Han's heart so he won't love you anymore. Or we could trade him for Kai, whichever comes first.", Gerda looked nervously at Anna.
Anna knit her brows in thought. "You know, Gerda, I liked the sound of that. Can you come with us?"
"Wait, you'll do it?", Gerda was so used to rejection by now.
"Of course! I would have done it if Hans wasn't involved with this anyway.", Anna said smiling. "So wanna come on an adventure with me?"
"Seriously?", Gerda really couldn't believe it. Anna nodded. "In that case, I would love to Anna!", Gerda said.
"Great! We can leave right now if you're up for it?", Anna said.
"I'm all up for it!" Gerda said excitedly. All she could think about was how it was gonna be.
"Hans, you still have your ride?", Anna asked. They were all now dressed in winter clothing, ready for what the snow witch had in store for them. Unfortunately for Anna, she had to deal with Hans until they reached the ice witch.
"Yes, I do my Darling.", Hans said putting his arms around Anna.
"Well you go bring it then?", Anna asked. It was really unusual for her to be asking Hans for something.
"Anything for you my Love.", Hans relied. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere." He started running around the back of the building they were in front of.
"Hans is really something else.", Gerda commented. Anna grunted. She really didn't like the idea of being with Hans all the way until they reached the snow witch on the North Mountain. Gerda didn't mind it much, but she didn't have to deal with Hans's constant flirting.
Suddenly Hans came around the back in his Hansmobile. It was a black sled that had a hood you could put over in case the sun was too bright, or it was raining or snowing. It was Hans's pride and joy, so he wouldn't let anything one touch it or get in without his permission. Anna of course was the only exception to this rule as she was the love of his life, and he would do anything for her. Except leave her of course, that's were he drew the line. Anna groan at the sight of the plate in the back. It had a small red heart, right next to it was Anna's name in capital letters, and next to it was another small red heart. Right underneath it was XOXO.
Hans honked the horn of his sled. "Come on Honey."
Anna made a gagging expression and climbed in next to Hans. Gerda climbed in the back.
"Alright Hans, no funny business. Let's go", Anna commanded.
"Your wish is my command, my Sweet.", Hans said and Anna rolled her eyes.
A few hour passed and they were still driving up the North Mountain and they were all bored out of their minds. Anna most of all, since she was used to always be danger.
"Hans, does this thing play music?", Anna asked.
"For you Baby, it can play anything your heart desires.", Hans said smoothing. Gerda giggled in the back at Anna's face in the mirror when Anna made a strange sour face.
"Shut the fuck up and put something!", Anna was about to lose it. Hans didn't want Anna to be upset, so he quickly turned the radio on and started flipping through the stations. This a familiar beat came up and he turned it up.
"Darling, this is my song to you.", Hans said happily and got his singing face on.
"Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one night stand
But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man."
Anna groaned.
"These night never seem to go to plan
I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?"
With that, Hans grabbed Anna's hand. Anna tried to shake it off, but he would have none of it.
"Oh won't you stay with me?
'Cause you're all I need"
Another sled was passing next to them. The driver, a big blonde man, stared curiously at them. Especially at Hans singing along to that god awful sell out song. Anna buried her red face in her in free hand.
"This ain't love it's clear to see
But darling, stay with me."
"Alright, shut that crap down! Anything else will do!", Anna shouted over the song.
"Yes Love, whatever you want.", Hans said and started flipping through the stations again.
"Will you shut the hell up with all the sweet talk?", Anna was beyond annoyed now.
"But Pooh Bear, I need to sweet talk you as much as I need air to breath.", Hans protested. Anna was about to have a mental breakdown when Gerda spoke up.
"I have an idea, Hans will stop so long as he gets to sing out loud whatever song comes up.", Gerda suggested. She really didn't want Anna rip Hans' head off. Especially considering he was the one driving.
"Fine! Hans fire away. You will stay on that station and that station only got it?", Anna said and Hans nodded. He held his pinky up and Anna intertwined hers with his and almost broke it. The deal was set and there was no turning back. Hans then picked at station.
"Ooh whoa, ooh whoa, ooh whoa"
They all heard that god awful boyish femineish voice through the speakers. Hans looked excited and Gerda tried not to look at Anna.
"Fan-fuckin-tastic", Anna said angrily as Hans started singing while looking at Anna.
"You know you love me, you know you care
Just shout whenever and I'll be there.
You are my love, you are my heart
And we will never, ever, ever, be apart"
By then Anna had managed to put mentally block Hans, for a couple verses before she was sucked back in.
"Oh for you, I would have done whatever
And I just can't believe we ain't together
And I wanna play it cool
But I'm losin you
I'll buy you anything,
I'll buy you any ring..."
After hours of driving, they finally made it to the North Mountain. There was a huge castle.
"Wow, this shit is beautiful.", Anna said as she looked up.
"Nothing compares to your beauty my Love.", Hans managed to plant a kiss on Anna cheek. Anna was about to slap him with they all heard a voice.
"Hello, I'm Olaf!", A snowman came. A real fuckin snowman with stick arms and a carrot and everything was talking to them. They all backed at off.
Hans his arms around Anna from behind. "Don't worry Earth Angel, I'll protect you. I'll protect you."
It was then that Anna saw that one Hans's hands was on her boob! "Get off me you damn dirty ape!", Anna punched him in the chest, sending him into the snow.
"Um hello, I'm talking to you guys.", Olaf said to them. Gerda looked over to her companions. Anna was shouting about how you never touch a lady there and now she had her sword drawn and was threatening Hans with it. And Hans was with his usual sweet talk. Gerda decided that she would do the talking.
"Hi, we're here to see her.", Gerda didn't know if it was appropriate to call her the snow witch. It might make her angry.
"Alright, come with me please.", The snowman said and led them inside. It was even more beautiful inside. Soon they were in throne room. There was a pale woman in a light blue dress with platinum blonde hair and icy blue eyes.
"Welcome to my ice castle.", The woman said. "I am the Snow Queen Elsa. To what do I owe the visit for?"
"Hey, fuck you!", Anna yelled waving her sword around. Elsa raised at eyebrow at this.
"Excuse me?"
"Did I stutter?", Anna said angrily. "We came here to get the boy you kidnapped back."
"Yeah, um here's the thing, I didn't kidnapped him.", Elsa said calmly.
"WHAT!", Anna and Gerda said together. Hans was too busy trying to touch Anna's hair.
"I was in town, you know, making it snow like I'm supposed to this time of year and this boy kind of sneaked up on me, while I was teleporting back to my ice castle.", She said as a matter of factly.
"Then why haven't you let him go?", Gerda asked.
"Because he can't go down the mountain without getting hurt or freezing. And teleporting him back is too much work on my part.", She answered. "Besides, he knew you would come up here to get him."
They stayed quiet. Gerda was relieved. Anna felt like a total idiot. Hans was wondering if he could ask Anna if she'll allow him to count all her beautiful freckles.
"Olaf! Go get the boy back to them.", Elsa ordered.
Soon the black hair fifteen year old boy came from one of the door ways. "Gerda!"
"Kai!", Gerda was happy beyond relieved and ran over to hug Kai. Kai happily returned the embrace.
"I came for one more thing.", Anna said. Elsa nodded her on. "Can you make Hans not in love with me anymore? It's super annoying!"
"You sure about that? It's not always bad to have someone who loves you no matter what.", Elsa said.
"Look lady, I didn't a spent hours on a sled to get up here with his annoying singing ass for you to turn me down!", Anna's grip on her sword tighten. "And if you don't do as I tell you, I will go up there and fuckin stab you."
Elsa shrugged. "Go ahead."
Anna was shaken back by this. "Excuse me! But I am Sword Master Anna, don't challenge me!"
Elsa started laughing and it only made Anna angrier. Anna started charging up to her, ready to slice her up. The Queen moved her hand and the floor moved, sending Anna sliding down on her butt.
"Jeez Anna take a chill pill already. I was just teasing you.", Elsa said chuckling.
"It's not funny.", Anna said mumbled. Her pride was just shattered.
"About lover boy here, if you don't want him, can I have him then?", The Snow Queen asked.
Anna's jaw dropped. "Seriously?"
"It's pretty lonely up here all alone.", She shrugged. "Besides, my older sister invited me to dinner and I need handsome man to show off and rub it in her face.", She smirked.
"Then by all means, please take him.", Anna happily surrendered. Elsa's hand released some snowflake that then went into Hans's green eyes. Hans then frowned at Anna.
"Anna, I know how much you love me, but this...", He gestured to the space between them. "Isn't working out for me. I'm sorry babe, but my heart is pulling me somewhere else."
"Hans I-", Anna started.
"Anna please don't beg me to stay. I know how much this means to you, but I just can't love you any more.", Hans said, holding Anna's hands. "If you want, I can hook you up with one of my bothers. How about my identical twin Asher? He's very handsome."
Anna sighed and rolled her eyes. "Hans please make this easier on me and just go."
Hans nodded and started walking over to Elsa. Once there, he put his arm around her waist. "Hey there beautiful lady. How 'bout I take you out to a movie?"
Elsa blushingly nodded.
"Okay, um we're just gonna go now...", Anna grabbed the hands of the two kids and walked them outside.
"Anna, are you gonna miss Hans?", Gerda asked. Anna laughed and shook her head no. She went to the back side of the car and used her sword to rip out the awful plate.
"Alright let's all fuckin go before she changes her mind.", Anna declared and got in the drivers side of the sled. Gerda rode shotgun and Kai was in the back. Anna quickly put the Annamobile on drive and sped off down the mountain.
A/N: So any thoughts?