Shit.
Shit.
Fuck.
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
No.
No!
Dammit, no!
This wasn't supposed to happen!
Things were going good, thing were starting to look up!
Fuck!
She didn't need this!
They didn't need this!
This wasn't what she'd expected when her period had come late! She just thought it was all the coffee she'd had lately or something stupid like that! She thought that maybe her hormones had decided to be bitchy again- they did that sometimes. Sometimes she missed her period because she often forgot to eat or because her iron was so low.
Then it didn't come at all. Not that month, not even the next two.
After that, she was worried.
So, she went to the store. She bought two of every test they had. Some would show smiley faces, some plus signs.
Only one had a minus. A little blue minus. One. Out of the twenty-some odd tests she'd bought, only one said she wasn't pregnant.
Great.
Just great.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
She moaned, putting her head in her hands.
And just how the hell was she supposed to tell Alfred? She hadn't even had the guts to tell him about Sealand when that had happened nearly seventy years ago! How on earth was she supposed to tell him about this?
Alice bit her lip, twiddling her thumbs anxiously. She had to tell him. Of course she did. She wanted this relationship to work out, and she couldn't exactly hide her soon-to-be large belly from him without him catching on. He wasn't stupid. Just... a bit dull, perhaps. Oblivious, for a better word.
He wouldn't be home for around another hour. She had decided that she would tell him then, after they ate. At least then she'd have something to throw up if he rejected her.
Again.
Just like before.
She gulped, her foot tapping on the floor to expel some of her nervous energy. She bit her thumbnail, her other arm curled around her elbow.
God, would he hate her? What if he turned her away? What would she do? She didn't know he should could do something like that by herself again.
She could barely do it the first time.
She sighed. He probably didn't even want a baby. She wasn't really even completely convinced he was actually in love with her. It just seemed too impossible. Why on earth would he want her? Especially now that she was having a baby.
She groaned, rubbing her temples in attempt to rid herself of the oncoming headache. It would do her no good to get herself too worked up over this. She knew that.
But she was still nervous, still scared.
Very nervous and very scared.
What would he think of her now? He would probably hate her. She couldn't even manage a decent relationship without fucking it up.
He probably already thought of her a slut- it was only their third real date before they had sex. That's what sluts did, wasn't it? Slept with their dates early? At least that's what she'd been told all her life.
She'd almost cried the next day when he wasn't in the bed next to her. She was scared he might have thought her unsatisfying and gross. Ugly and rather repulsive. Too thin, or something. She'd had those things said about her before, so she'd expected him to do so as well.
Thankfully, he'd only been in the kitchen, though, which she'd realized after she calmed herself down and smelled bacon cooking. She had then mentally berated herself for being so clingy and needy. It was unladylike. Probably another reason no one stayed with her.
God, how did this even happen? She was on the pill! They used protection! Why her? Why now? Couldn't it have at least waited until after they had gotten married? Or until they'd been dating long enough to consider it? Alfred would probably hate her now.
She groaned again.
Of course, Alice had always wanted children of her own. Being countries, however, things like that rarely worked. Even if they'd been dating for three years, that really wasn't very long if you just so happened to live forever. Ten or twelve was about the right time to consider marriage, but not children!
She shouldn't have even let him have sex with her!
Fuck!
This was all her fault. She knew better. She knew better!
She scrubbed at her eyes, which stung with tears unshed because of her pride. God, how she wanted to cry right then.
Alfred was going to be so mad. He was going to hate her. Rightfully so, it seemed. After all, it was her own damn fault that their relationship was now ruined.
She whimpered, mumbling incoherently under her breath.
"Dammit. I'm so stupid, so fucking stupid."
She didn't want it to be alone. She didn't want Alfred to leave - she loved him! She wanted him to stay with her for the rest of their unnaturally long lives.
He'd practically ripped her heart out when he had left her the first time. Not even practically. He had. She wasn't sure she could handle it again. He'd told her it was a mistake, then he'd left. It was a few weeks later that she'd found out she would have Peter. She ended up giving birth to him, by herself, in the bathtub. It was terrifying and she never wanted it to happen again.
She curled up furthur in on herself from her place on the toilet, sniffing back hot, fat tears. What if he didn't want her anymore? What would she do? She couldn't get an abortion; she would feel too guilty about it. But she wasn't sure if she could physically- or mentally- handle having another baby on her own. Plus, the baby would likely be another landmass or a micro nation or a personification.
She'd really fucked up big this time. Just like she always did. God fucking-
"Alice?"
The Brit jumped as her name was called, nearly falling from the porcelain pot. She gasped sharply, her hands flying to her heart.
He was home early!
No!
No! No! No!
Fuck!
Shit!
Goddammit-
"Alice? You there?" She shivered, feeling a spike of fear roll down her spine.
She couldn't even bring herself to answer him! She could only gape at the door in horror. How pathetic was she?
"Ally? Honey, you in here?" He rapped softly on the wood, twisting the knob and poking his head around the bathroom door. Alfred spotted her easily, grinning with relief.
Oh fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
She gulped, staring at him like a deer in headlights.
"W-Welcome… home?" She choked out, shakily rising from her spot. She plastered a panicked smile on her face, her whole body trembling. She kicked the wastebin behind the toilet, hoping he wouldn't notice and check inside of it. She thought she would have time to clean up a bit! She thought she would at least have time to compose herself!
Alfred frowned, worry evident in his face. "Alice? Baby, are you alright?"
Baby.
Baby.
She choked on a sob as it caught in her throat. What on earth was she going to do?
Shit!
He was going to hate her.
Fuck.
Fat, hot tears fell rapidly down her cheeks, and she couldn't stop them if she wanted too. She hiccuped, placing her hands over her face to shield it from her lover.
More than likely her soon-to-be ex-lover.
Alfred's eyes widened dramatically. "Oh my God! What's wrong?! Alice?!" He shoved his way through the door, practically diving towards her. He placed a hand on her trembling shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Had he done something wrong? What happened?
"Alice? Baby, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" The comment only served to make her cry harder, to which he only panicked more.
He frowned, sitting down on the floor. He pulled her into his lap slowly, placing her head in his chest. He buried his nose in her hair, slowly rocking her back and forth. He shushed her, just letting her sob out whatever the problem was. He ran the fingers of one of his hands through her hair soothingly, the other rubbing slow, gentle circles on her lower back, which, he noted, seemed larger than normal. In fact, her entire midsection had seemed larger as of late… He chose to ignore it for the time being, opting to ask her about it later. Which, admittedly, probably wasn't a good idea.
He sighed, leaning back against the tiled wall, listening to her sobs slowly subside into little sniffles. Her breathing was ragged, and she hiccupped with every one of the few breaths she sharply inhaled. Her body trembled gently, though the shaking seemed to be subsiding as well. Her fists were tightened in his dress shirt, his tan pants wrinkled from their position.
His eyes wandered around the room, trying to think of a reason why she could be so upset. The bathtub wasn't run, and obviously hadn't been before, so it couldn't have something to do with that. All the towels were clean- he knew that because he'd washed them himself. The cabinets were clean. So were the floors, walls, and countertops. The shower hadn't been touched since that morning, when he'd gotten ready for work. He frowned, checking near the toilet- that was all that was left.
Wait…
Where was the trashcan?
He noticed the purple looking object poking out from behind the toilet, and he wondered how the bin had gotten back there. It took effort to weasel that thing out of the way.
"Alice?" He stopped running circles into her back for a moment, shifting himself so that his head was by her ear. "Uhm... Why is the trashcan behind the toilet?"
Alice choked on another giant sob, fisting her hands into the back of his shirt.
Fuck.
So he had noticed that.
"N-No r-reason... I-I like it b-better there..." She lied, not meeting his eyes.
That was pathetic. He was obviously going to see right through that! She mentally smacked herself, giving a small whimper.
Alfred frowned.
That was quite obviously bullshit, if Alfred had ever heard it.
"No you don't. You don't like change at all. Why's the trashbin behind the toilet... Is that why you're upset? Did you get it stuck?" He questioned, his eyes suddenly lighting up. "I'll get it for ya, babe! Don't worry about it!" He sat her down next to him, moving towards the toilet with a huge, shit-eating grin on his face.
She shook her head furiously, watching in horror as he reached for it.
"N-No! W-Wait! Don't open it, Alfred!"
"What? Why?" He raised the lid of the bin, taking a look inside.
"No! No, Alfred, stop!" Alice wailed.
It was too late.
He had seen.
Well fuck.
Alfred's eyes widened. There... There were so many. And they were all positive.
Alice stared at him in horror, bringing a hand to her mouth in an attempt to stop from screaming. Tears fell noisily, unable to be stopped.
"A-Alfred! Alfred, I'm s-so s-sorry! I didn't m-mean to! It was an a-accident, I'm s-so s-sorry!" She sobbed, slowly shifting closer to him, her entire body shaking, on the verge of a panic attack. "I'm so sorry! I p-promise I didn't m-mean to! P-Please don't be mad! Please!"
"Oh... My God..." Alfred whispered, his mind still processing. He was going to have a baby. He was going to have a baby. "Holy shit..." He turned towards her slowly, his eyes wide as saucers.
Alice choked on a sob as it caught in her throat. "I'm s-sorry, I'm s-so, so s-sorry." She hung her head, looking like a kicked puppy. A crying one, at that. "Please don't hate me..." She sobbed, tears completely drenching her face, some managing to escape her chin to plop onto the tile floor.
If Alfred's eyes could've gotten any wider, they would have. "What? Of course I don't hate you!" He placed his hands firmly on her cheeks, rubbing his fingers over the squishy flesh. "Is that why you're upset? Because you think I'm going to hate you?" He questioned, his expression brightening into one of relief. "Because you're pregnant? God! No, Baby, I love you!"
Alice let herself dare to hope. Her entire body relaxed slightly. She placed her hands on his own, a few more tears leaking out of her puffy, red eyes. "R-Really?"
Alfred brushed his thumb under her eye, wiping them away.
"Yes, really!" He laughed, the largest grin she'd ever seen plastered on his face. Even his eyes lit up, his whole being filled with complete and utter joy.
"God, I'm so fucking happy, Alice!" He kissed her nose, placing their foreheads together.
She stared at him wide-eyed and confused.
"Y-You're... You're happy? I thought you would be mad..."
"Of course not! Why would I be mad at you for something like this?!" His face was practically glowing. He wrapped his arms around Alice's waist, pulling her into easily one of the best hugs she'd had in a while.
Alice wrapped her arms around his neck hesitantly. She smiled slowly, still not quite believing her luck. She giggled quietly, happiness blooming and fluttering in her tummy. She buried her face in his neck with a grin, nuzzling her nose into the crook.
"We're going to have a baby..." She whispered softly, giving his neck a gentle kiss. Alfred couldn't help but grin, squeezing her tightly.
"We're going to have a baby." Alfred hummed, giving her a returning kiss on the head. She giggled again, excitement making itself known. She laughed louder, squeezing him around the shoulders, practically vibrating with suppressed excitement. All of her nervous energy had evaporated in one wave of emotions, and now all that was on her mind was the baby, and how happy she was to be having it.
She was going to have a baby.
They were going to have a baby.
She grinned brightly and laughed again, a loud, beautiful laugh that sounded, to Alfred, like bells chiming in the wind. He loved it when she laughed.
He couldn't wait for the baby either.
Their baby.
The two had never been so happy in their lives.