so here's the next chapter... total failure, but it's okay
Most of my moments of torment and insecurity are compiled within a 20 volume photo album that lines the left wall of our living room.
Pictures of my very naked birth in the arms of my dad with a handlebar mustache and a piece of corn wedged between his teeth, pictures of my one-line role as an albino Native American in a failed kindergarten production of The First Thanksgiving, pictures of my pink, feathery butt falling off the stage at a ballet recital and landing in the audience, and even a combo picture of my first time riding a two wheeler bike into a mailbox and my first trip to the emergency room…
Yes, the Swan family legacy was all encased in the silver bindings of the family album. And today was another one for the books…
"Bella, come on and smile," My mom had the camera in her hands ready to take a picture. "It's your first day of high school; don't you want to remember this day, baby doll?"
"Hardly," I said quickening my pace into the kitchen.
"Leave her alone, Renee. She's obviously nervous about her first day of public school, right, Bells?" He chuckled as he leaned across the table for the salt shaker.
"Somewhat," I sat down at the breakfast table reaching for a glass of orange juice.
My mom giggled as she sat down next to me, "Is it because of the boys?"
"No Mother, it is not because of the boys," I replied shortly.
"Aw, is my little jelly bean already interested in that type of stuff?"
I shook my head. "Mother, I said-"
"Now Bella, listen to me, whenever you feel like those teenage dingdongs try to pull something funny on you, call me. Got it? I'll be up and out of the office in less than two minutes." He grumbled something about high school boys being a disgrace and then went on to spill his coffee over his tie. "Damn it!"
"Language!" My mom was anal when it came to etiquette and decorum.
"Sorry, honey."
"Don't be sorry to me, Charlie; be sorry to Bella who had to listen to your profane outburst."
I laughed as my dad faced me, "Sorry, Bella."
"Shame on you dad, for bringing such crude words to the table. I am just appalled," I admonished sarcastically; my dad let out a snort as my mom just shook her head. "But I am willing to forgive you in exchange for a ride to school."
My dad just nodded.
- - -
"Good luck, Bells!" My dad waved his hand as soon as he dropped me off in the parking lot of Forks High. "Call me if you need a ride home, jelly bean!" I could feel the laughter and stares that burned through the back of my head.
I finally felt the belated butterflies finding their way through my large intestine as I turned to gape at where I would be for the next four years of my educational career. But it wasn't the establishment itself that made my stomach churn uncomfortably; it was the people who were looking at me as if I was naked with a sticky note on my butt that said "Slap Me!" I wasn't! I was fully clothed in a pair of black jeans and a tweed checkered jacket.
I walked up the stairs of the school with my head held high. I gave a smile sweet enough to stun the people who were staring into a diabetic coma. My footsteps were light as I bounced up and through the front doors.
The halls were fully lit, without a single fluorescent light that shined any less than the rest. The lockers were painted light grey and the floor tiled with burgundy and gold. The overall vibe I was getting was none too bad.
After checking into the front office I started a slow stride down one of the halls in search of my locker. My eyes traced over each number in careful examination. I looked back at the piece of paper the front desk had given me with my locker number scribbled on it.
Just then I looked up in time to see the victims of my inner clumsy. They were a good-looking couple, the boy more so than the girl, making out in front of their locker. Within those milliseconds the only thing that registered through my brain was the way they were kissing; it looked as if the guy was trying to dominate the girl's mouth. Of course, my cheeks spilled over with red Kool-Aid.
And all of a sudden I heard a loud boom that echoed through the whole school and then my central vision went black. Everybody fell silent. What happened?
"What the fuck? Bitch!" A shrill voice sent chills through my body, raising the hairs on the back of my neck. I tried to get up on my knees, but as I got up my head started to spin. I couldn't stand. "Cunt…"
I heard a couple of snickers from around the hall. "Jessica, babe, leave her alone." I could hear a low voice trying to calm her down. I was still trying to piece together what had happened.
I whipped my head up when I finally felt stable. I would have apologized a thousand times over if it had not been for the "profane outburst", as my mom put it. I could feel a stinging pain in the corner of my bottom lip; then a feeling of something trickling down my chin. My hand automatically retracted towards my mouth.
Blood. My hand dropped lifelessly to my side. Blood. Why blood? I struggled to keep my breakfast down. I suddenly realized that the girl I had bumped into was running her mouth with insults, but I couldn't pay attention to her.
"Um yeah… Can we continue this later?" I was desperate to try and find a place to calm down. People in the crowd started laughing and hooting? Did I say something funny?
The girl looked at me like I had just spit on her. "Listen up, you little skank, the day I see your prissy little face again is the day you get my foot up your ass, got it?"
My eyes widened, "How would that work?"
The laughter became louder. She gave me a piercing glare, flicked her middle finger up, and walked away with the other guy.
I turned around and walked straight towards the bathroom. The busted lip wasn't that bad, but I still stood there for a minute or so. I hadn't been in the school more than 15 minutes before I got on the wrong side of someone. Bad omen.
I was about to leave when I heard a moan coming from one of the stalls.
"Edward!" A high pitched squeal rang through the bathroom.
"Lauren," A low growl escaped what sounded like a guy's voice.
I walked quietly up to the odd stall. "Please Edward, I need you." My face blushed crimson red.
Oh my goodness, what are they doing? Don't they realize this is school? I could feel my heart start to pump more blood than it needed to. I slowly backed away.
"Oh my God, Edward!" I heard a whimper and that was all before I went running out in horror at what I had just witnessed.