I'm crazy. I'm delusional. I'm a psycho. That's what they say. But I'm not. I do feel like I have started to go a bit crazy, but if any of these doctors had been through what I have or seen half of the shit I have, they'd feel like they were losing their minds, too.

I used to be normal. So normal. I went to school, I did my class work, I hung out with my girlfriend, I played football with the lads. My life was normal.

Then came Louis Tomlinson.

Louis Tomlinson and his outgoing personality, his stunning smile, his natural ability to make everyone he as much as glances at swoon over him. Or maybe it was just me that swooned over him the first time we locked eyes. He just had that effect on me. He was perfect and he caught my eye the second he stepped into my fourth period study hall.

"You're late." The harsh tone in Mr. Warner's voice was nothing new to the class. He spoke like that all day. It was like he was in a perpetual state of anger. He was a large man and he practically towered over the boy who was standing in the doorway. This boy looked terrified, rightfully so. Everyone was afraid of Mr. Warner at first, most of us still are. We just hide it.

"I'm sorry, sir," the boy said. "I got a bit lost finding the room. I'm new."

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a crinkled piece of paper and handing it to Mr. Warner. He snatched it from him and then read it, in a loud voice.

"Louis Tomlinson. New transfer student from Doncaster, South Yorkshire," he raised an eyebrow at him. "Why the move?"

No one was really watching the two at the front of the room. A new student wasn't a big deal to anyone. But I couldn't look away.

Louis shrugged and put on a charming smile. "Sometimes a fresh start is nice, right?"

Mr. Warner just grunted, handed him back his slip of paper along with a list that had all the study hall rules on it, and nodded towards... me? Oh no. Not me. Just the seat that was by me. "Take that empty seat beside Mr. Styles. Mr. Styles, raise your hand."

I did as I was told, and gave this beautiful new student a friendly smile as he slipped into the desk next to me.

He returned my smile with one of his own, except his smile was different. It was brighter, and no doubt was it the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen in my life. My breath caught in my throat at that smile.

"I'm Louis Tomlinson," he said, offering me his hand to shake. Formal. That was both unexpected and... cute.

I reached forward, accepting his hand. "Harry Styles."

Maybe I held onto his hand a little longer than I should have, because when I looked away from our hands to his face, he was wearing an amused grin. My cheeks turned red and I pulled back, sitting straight in my seat.

For a few long seconds, I felt him looking at me. But I kept my eyes on my notebook. I was so busy trying to act like I wasn't paying attention to Louis that I didn't even notice that the notebook page was blank. Louis noticed.

"Can you see something I can't, mate?" he whispered.

I snapped the notebook shut and turned to look at him. "What? No. Uh..."

He laughed. "I'm joking with you," he said. "Lighten up. Are you always like this?"

"Like what?" Was he insulting me?

"So jumpy."

I wasn't jumpy. Was I? I was just nervous. He made me nervous. I'd known this boy for a minute and he was making me feel like this. I couldn't tell him that though. I didn't know what to tell him. Luckily, he spoke again before I had to.

"You're a jumpy little fella, but you seem nice," he said. He tore off a section of paper from the bottom of the list of class rules he'd been given, and after grabbing a pen from his bag, scribbled something down on it. He slid it onto my desk.

"What's this?" I asked, picking it up.

He laughed softly. "It's my phone number. Call me, and we can hang out. That sound alright to you?"

I looked up at him and he was smiling again. That smile... how could anyone say no to that smile?

I scream bloody murder. I scream and scream and scream. No one comes to see if I'm okay. All the doctors are used to my screaming. They know I'll never stop this. They know that everyday I think about Louis and I think about the first time we met.

I think about how if I'd just said no, we couldn't hang out, that my life might still be normal. I never would have gotten to know him and fallen in love with this horrible boy. I'd be fine. I'd be okay.

But I'm not fine. I'm not okay. I did fall in love with that horrible fucking boy and the thought of how fucked up everything is takes up all of my thoughts.

I scream. But no one bothers with me.

"Louis!" I shout out his name, shout it from the top of my lungs. I do this a lot, just like I shout out the name of my old friends, my old loved ones. I don't have them anymore. Just like I don't have Louis anymore. But I don't want Louis anymore. I hate him. I'm glad we're apart. I fucking hate him.

"Louis!"