"Oh, fuck off," Mrs. Lovett growled, shoving past Sweeney to begin washing the dishes in the kitchen.
"Don't talk like that to me," Sweeney snapped, quickly following her and grabbing her wrist to make her look up.
"Let me go!"
"Just apologize and I will!"
"You're being ridiculous."
"You're being a bitch!"
"Hey! Watch your goddamn language." The baker snapped, craning her neck to glance at their small daughter who sat in the nearby parlour, playing on the ground. Luckily, she was too wrapped up in playing with her horses and ignored her parents' swearing.
"I've got nothing to apologize for. It ain't my fault you decided to shag me right then and there."
"Don't try to turn this around on me! You're my wife and I will fuck you whenever I bloody please."
"Take it as a compliment then! At least I enjoyed it- I wasn't just sitting there,"
"You could've put my shirt down first."
"I wasn't exactly thinking straight."
"That was my favorite shirt."
"Darling, they're all the same!"
"No- they were all the same, when they were all in one piece!"
"Alright, alright. I'll mend it tomorrow."
"Don't bother."
"Sweeney."
"You're shit at sewing anyway, and it wouldn't look the same."
"Well bloody hell, Sweeney, I'm sorry I ruined your life!"
"Stop."
"No really. Why don't you just kill me? Clearly no one will ever take you seriously ever again because one of your shirts has a tiny little tear in it!"
"That's not the point, Nellie! You're so goddamn incompetent it drives me insane! You tear, shrink, and lose my clothes, the house is a fucking pigpen, you hardly even work anymore so I'm the one making all the income and you just sit here and fuck things up all day!"
Mrs. Lovett opened her mouth to scream back, but couldn't find the words. She felt a small pang in her chest upon the realization that her husband was right. She hadn't been doing a very good job with the housework lately, and she didn't know why. Her eyes dropped to the floor, and she inhaled a deep breath before turning to leave.
However, upon turning around, she saw her daughter standing in the doorway, staring up at her with big, brilliant eyes. Smiling, she ran over and wrapped her arms around her mother's legs before lifting her hands and mumbling "Up."
Letting out a small sigh, she picked her up and gave her a small kiss on the cheek.
"Hi there, baby doll. What have you been up to?" She asked, trying her best to hide her anger at her husband.
"I was pwayin' horsey but now I wan' pway tea pawty," The girl mumbled, playing with her mother's curly red hair as she spoke.
"Alright, sweetheart, why don't you go set things up and I'll be there in a moment," Mrs. Lovett instructed as she lowered her daughter back to the ground.
"Daddy too!" She giggled, running and wrapping her arms around her father's legs.
"Not today, Stella."
"Why not?" She began to pout as she attempted to jump and climb up her father's legs.
"I have to work." He replied, feeling a pang of guilt as he gently pried his daughter's hands off of him and set her on the floor.
"But I can't do it without you," The little girl insisted, looking up at him with her big brown eyes.
"Dada never pways wif' me," Stella said with a frown as she dragged her feet into the parlour.
Mrs. Lovett crossed her arms over her chest, shooting her husband a look.
"Get in there and play with her," She ordered him.
"And you wonder where she gets her bossiness from."
"How would you know? You never spend any time with her anyway."
"I have work."
"And you call me incompetent. You're hardly the father she deserves," The baker scoffed.
Sweeney merely scowled at this, shaking his head as he shoved past his wife and sat down with his daughter in the living room.
His anger was lifted for a moment when he saw his little girl smile and wrap her arms around him. However, the second his wife returned and sat opposite him, he stiffened again and glanced at the clock on the wall, wondering how long he would have to sit through this agony.
"Mama, here. You're da queen and Daddy is da king and I'm a pwincess." Stella explained, giving her mother a crown, and her father a crown and a red velvet cape (freshly cut from one of Mrs. Lovett's old dresses).
Mrs. Lovett reluctantly placed the crown on her head, staring at her husband, who still held the cape in his hands. She cleared her throat, raising an eyebrow at him and silently telling him to put it on. It was the least he could do for their daughter.
"Tank you for comin' to my tea pawty," Stella said as she set up the cups and saucers for everyone.
"You're welcome, sweetheart," Mrs. Lovett mumbled.
"Mama, what do you want in your tea?"
"Hmmm, I'll have three sugars and a spot of cream, thank you very much," The baker chuckled.
Nodding, the little girl reached for a teacup and pretended to prepare it for her mother.
"All done!" She said happily before handing the cup to her mother.
"Daddy, what do you want in your tea?"
"Hm? Oh, nothing, pet," He mumbled, still scowling at his wife.
"That's no fun, Dada."
"Surprise me then," He all but growled.
Nodding once again, the girl went through the same motions and mimed everything out before handing the cup to her father.
"An' I want aaaaaaalllll da sugar!" She giggled, pretending to dump her invisible container of sugar into her cup.
"You're silly," Mrs. Lovett mumbled, beginning to lighten up once she saw how much fun their daughter was having.
"Okay. Cheers!" The little girl squealed, holding her teacup out and smashing it against her mother's and father's.
Both adults reluctantly lifted their empty cups to their lips, pretending to drink.
"Hmmm, it's very good darling. Ain't that right, Daddy?" She asked with a twinge of annoyance.
"Yes," He grumbled, wrapping an arm around his daughter and gently kissing her head.
"What kind of tea is it, honey?"
"Pwincess tea!"
"Princess tea? And what flavor is princess tea?"
"Hmmmm…strawberry!"
"Strawberry? That's very sweet. Especially with all the sugar you dumped in there."
"Mhm! Only mine though."
"Only yours? Well what am I drinking then?"
"Queen mummy tea."
"Ah. And what flavor is that?"
The girl shrugged, still giggling slightly.
"You decide."
"Well I think…I think I should very much like some honey lemon tea."
Stella simply nodded and smiled, pretending to take another sip before poking her father's arm.
"What's your tea, dada?"
"I dunno," Sweeney shrugged, really not feeling like playing this game.
"That's not a flavor, silly," The girl giggled in reply.
"Alright, ginger." He finally answered.
His eyes narrowed as soon as he heard a scoff leave his wife's mouth.
"What?" He sneered.
"Nothing. I just think that's rather fitting for you. Nice and bitter."
Sweeney rolled his eyes at this, slamming his cup down on his saucer and seething in silence as his daughter obliviously continued to play.
Mrs. Lovett took a deep breath once her husband went silent, for it was no fun anymore if he didn't make any retort. Although she was still rather annoyed with him, she at least wanted to make up for their daughter.
"Darling," She mumbled softly, reaching forward and gently putting a hand on his knee. "I'm sorry."
"I'm the King of this house, and you ought to listen to me more," The barber snapped, throwing her hand away.
Mrs. Lovett raised an eyebrow at this, and was caught off-guard for a moment, but quickly replied.
"Doesn't mean you have to be a bloody tyrant."
"I wouldn't be if I didn't have such unruly subjects."
"That's no way to speak to your Queen." She said, sticking her nose in the air with a dignified frown.
"Queen of the bloody loonies, you are…" He muttered under his breath.
"Oh, is someone's crown on too tight?"
"The only headache I'm getting is from you."
"Yeah, you'll get a lot more from me if you don't watch your damn mouth!"
"Little miss Queenie is going to start throwing punches now, is she?"
"I ripped your damn shirt, I don't see why not."
"You're not-…Nellie, stop that."
The barber was sidetracked when he saw a small smile begin to form on his wife's lips, and tensed even more when it turned into a small chuckle and then a full on laugh. Both confused and even more frustrated that she had taken him by surprise, Sweeney clenched his fists as he waited for her to give an explanation.
"Sweeney," She finally breathed. "We're fighting over nothing."
"No, we're fighting because you-"
"It's nothing, darling. It doesn't matter. I'll buy you a new shirt. I…I can't yell at you when you're dressed like that," She chuckled, gently leaning forward to remove the crown from his head and give him a small peck on the cheek.
Sweeney stared at the woman across from him with a raised eyebrow, not understanding how she could drop the subject so easily. Anger was constantly burning in him, and he didn't understand how she could so quickly go from screaming at him to giving him a kiss. But then again, he could hardly remember the origin of their argument, and supposed they did look slightly ridiculous fighting over their daughter's tea party.
When he broke free of his thoughts, their daughter had crawled into her mother's lap, happily babbling away.
"Why're you laughin?" She asked her mother.
"Oh, nothing. Daddy an' I were just being silly again. We started yelling but then we forgot what we were even yelling about."
"Oh. You do that a lot," The little girl mumbled thoughtlessly.
"Yes we do. "
"Come here, princess," Sweeney sighed, holding his arms out for his little girl and resting his chin on top of her head once she cuddled up in his lap. He muttered a small "Love you," as he ran his fingers through her tangled auburn hair.
Mrs. Lovett smiled as she saw her husband embracing their daughter, her heart warming. However, after a minute, she began to feel a bit left out, and quickly crawled across the floor to be at his side.
"D'you still love me?"
"That's a stupid question."
"Please?"
"You're a nightmare to live with, and you're more trouble than you're worth, but yes, Nell, of course I bloody love you."
Overwhelmed with joy, she pressed her lips to his in a long loving kiss, then wrapped her arms around both him and their girl.
Sweeney rolled his eyes at her emotional response, but pressed his lips to her temple nonetheless.
Letting out a sigh, he attempted to untangle her tiara from her untamed red hair.
"God save the queen."