Hello lovelies! It's me again, writing another story. But this one is different from my others. This is a Sebastian/Jonathan X Clary fanfiction. I'm experimenting. A friend, you could say, begged me to read more fanficts of this paring. I found some interesting ones that I did like. This is not my favorite paring because I hate Jonathan. But my head immediately made up a story and a plot. And my head keeps telling me to write it.

That little voice is like 'write it.'

Me: no

Voice: come ooon! You know you want to.

Me: fine

Voice: *cheers,claps,dances,jumps-up-n-down*

Me:*rollmyeyes*

Summary– this takes place two years after CoLS. Jace broke up with Clary three months after the epilogue of CoLS, after the note from Jonathan: 'I'm coming'. Clary blocks herself out. Jace gets a girlfriend. Clary comes out and goes training at the institute, like nothing happened. She shows no emotions towards Jace. Time passes(2 years total). Jonathan comes back for her. He wants her to love him but he doesn't know her secret.

AN: Clary has more curves. She has a 'sexy' body. She's like 18 now. Jonathan is like 20. Clary will be using 'Angel' or 'By the angel' because she has been hanging out with the Lightwoods a lot and training and all that stuff.

City of Heavenly Fire tomorrow!

I do not own TMI or the characters, they are all Cassandra's.

Chapter 1

CPOV

I should hate him. I know I should. I hate myself for not hating him. I should feel disgust and hate, but I don't. He has me against my will, away from the people I love. Away from Mom, Luke, Simon, Isabelle, Magnus, and Alec. I'm not worried about them, they are okay, I know that. But I miss them. I miss watching mum and Luke happy. I miss talking and hanging out with Simon. I miss hanging out and training with Isabelle and Alec. I miss Magnus joking around and allying with Isabelle to dress me up. And it has only been a week.

Its been a week since Jonathan kidnapped me.

It was two years ago that he left that note at the institute. I had nightmares of Jonathan trying to kill me at my loved ones. I hated him. But then the nightmares weren't nightmares anymore. Nightmares are when its something bad, when you don't want that to happen, but I did. I had dreams. Dreams where Jonathan would come for me and I was happy that he did. I stopped hating him.

That happened when I stopped loving Jace. Jace never loved me, he said he did. He said he did loved me once but then it stopped. He said he was sorry but he didn't love me anymore. I asked if it was because I hadn't had sex with him but he said it wasn't that. He broke my heart. He broke up with me three months after the note. I cried for two months. Isabelle and simon tried to cheer me up but it didn't work at first. One day I got tired. I went to the institute, dressed in a gear, went to the training room and asked Isabelle to train me. I showed no emotions towards Jace. I stopped loving him. I trained every day, worked up at five in the morning for a run every day. I became a shadowhunter, a trained one. Things changed, I got over Jace for good. We are not friends but I don't care. He found a new love a month after our break up after all.

After a year from the 'note' they started putting their guard down. There was no sign of Jonathan, no attack, there was nothing. I kept training, Alec is a hell of a good teacher. We became friends, we joked around, I love him as much as i love Magnus. Isabelle and Simon started dating, I was happy for them. And then it was when the nightmares stopped, they became dreams.

It was weird. I would find myself thinking about him. Where is him? Is he ever coming back? What is he planning? Those where the questions I asked myself everyday. I wanted to see him, I didn't knew why. I wanted to know if he was okay. And then after that dream I knew. In the dream Jonathan was back for me and I had run towards him, hugged him, kissed him, then I knew. The months passed and I felt the same way.

Mom told me I would fall in love again. But Why him?

That didn't keep me from fighting though. I fought him.

Luke and mom were in the Clave meeting I was going home, it was dark and I was alone. I saw a shadow, when he spoke my name I immediately knew it was him. We fough in the dark alley. We fought till we were both wounded, sweating, bleeding, and tired. He told me he wasn't going to hurt anyone if I stopped fighting. I did.

We went to my house, I packed clothes and left a letter. The letter said that I was leaving to start all over again, 'I love you all. Please don't look for me. Be happy because I'll be. It's time for a change. Love you.' Jonathan had read it looking for any clue I could give them, but there was none. We had cleared the house from fingerprints and left. Maybe they do believe the letter is true. I had talked to mom about leaving somewhere far to start all over again twice. They probably think I left by my will.

I'm still fighting, in silence. I fight my feelings for him. I fake disgust and hate. I guess I'm a great actress because he thinks I hate him.

I do my best to get in his nerves. If I make him angry he acts like a complete ass. I push him to treat me bad, maybe that way I'll hate him. Two days ago he kissed me. I punched him in the jaw and called the kiss disgusting, I made him mad, he slapped me and left, no dinner that night.

I have no idea were we are. All I know is that I'm in a basement. He brings me food everyday, if I'm good. I haven't taken a shower in three days. I was good in the morning, maybe I can convince him of a shower.

The door opened and Jonathan walked in. He was holding a plate with three cheese pizza slices and a small bag of baby carrots. I smiled in the inside, cheese pizza. He remembered I'm vegetarian. Shut up Clary! He provably just likes cheese pizza. I shook my head sending the stupid thoughts away.

"What?" He asked and crooked his eyebrows.

"Nothing," I said too fast. He chuckled.

"You were staring," he handed me the plate and sat next to me.

"I wasn't."

"Yea, sure."He lay down in his back, his hands behind his head. I rolled my eyes at him. I bit down the pizza. God this is good. Jonathan was watching me, well, he always does.

"Have you eaten yet?" I asked.

"No."

"Can you eat with me? I mean you're just sitting there watching me." I said looking down at my food, not wanting to make eye contact. "You can eat one of my pizza slices if you don't want to go back up, I only eat two anyways." I said so he wouldn't think I wanted hem to leave to the kitchen so I could try to escape or something, I had tried once. He didn't like it. He sat up and lifted my chin, forcing me to eye contact with his onyx eyes.

"I like to watch you," he whispered in my ear, I shivered. He took a pizza slice from the plate took a bite.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"The basement, isn't obvious?"

"You know what I mean."

"You think I'm gonna tell you, sister."

"Why not? I mean is not like I can go tell everyone!"

"Clarissa. Eat." He was getting mad.

"Don't call me that."

"Why not? It's your name."

"I get called 'Clarissa' when I'm in trouble."

"You will be if you keep asking questions." We ate our pizza in silence. I opened the bag of carrots and popped one in my mouth.

"Do you want carrots?" I asked

"No." I looked down at the bag and keep eating.

I was thinking of how to ask for the shower. The basement's restroom only has the toilet and sink. The time I too a shower he took me out of the basement to a bathroom in the hall. I took the last carrot in my lips and I was pushed back in the bed, my breath hitched. Jonathan's hands were on my hips, he was on top of me. He took the carrot from my lips with his teeth and ate it.

" I changed my mind." He smirked. His lips brushed mine as he spoke. What is he kisses me? I don't want to push him again. Yes I do. No. Yes. No, if i do there's no shower. But I don't want him to think I like it or that I gave up. He has to believe I hate him. He can't know, it's my secret. But if I push him away he will get mad. If he's mad he will me an ass to me, maybe hit me if I punch him. If he does it will help my plan. I have to hate him. My feelings are wrong, he's my brother. "Clary, breath," Jonathan was looking at me with his onyx eyes. He got off me. I let out a long breath.

Thank that angel he didn't kiss me, if he had, my body would had split apart. A half would have let him kiss me and the other would have stick to the plan and push him away. He took my plate with the pizza's crust. He walked towards the door.

"Jonathan,"he paused. "Can... can I take a shower?" I looked down at my hands.

"I guess you deserve one. You have been good I will go leave the plate and be back for you." I nodded. He opened the door and closed it. I heard the click of the automatic lock and the key too. I waited for him. Minutes later the door opened.

"Let's go," Jonathan held the door for me. I walked past him. He took my hand and guided me to the bathroom. I blushed a little.

He opened the bathroom's door. He walked in after me. I waited for him to leave but he didn't move. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall.

"Aren't you gonna leave?" I asked. He laughed.

"No."

"What?!"

"Come on! The last time I stayed too."

"But you were outside."

"The door wasn't closed all the way."

"But you where OUTSIDE!"

"I feel like saying today." There is no way of arguing.

"Fine," I said. I turned on the water. "Turn around." I said. He smirked at me.

"Why?" He asked 'innocently'.

"Why?! Because I'm not gonna undress in front of you!" He smirked again. He walked towards me.

"And why not, little sister?" He whispered in my ear, I shivered. "I can help you undress." I wasn't breathing. I wasn't moving. I wasn't talking. I was standing, frozen in place. "Okay, fine. I will turn around. Just because you look like you're about to have a heart attack." He turned around. He walked away, facing the wall. I undressed as fast as I could and hopped in the shower. I closed the shower's door and curtain.

The water was warm. I relaxed and closed my eyes. Then I remembered Jonathan. I poured some body wash and rubbed my body. When I was done I squeezed some shampoo in my hand and washed my hair. Minutes later in was clean and done. Now what the fuck am I gonna get out. I turned off the water. I opened the shower's door, just enough to stick my hand out.

"J–Jonathan, c–can you..." he handed me the robe. I tied the robe in my waist. The robe was a of a thin material, it had long sleeves, but it was short, it went down till mid thigh. I opened the door and got out.

Jonathan pulled me by the waist and I yelped in surprise. Jonathan chuckled, he was holding a towel. He began to dry my hair with it. He dried my hair gently. Feels so good. He removed the towel from my head. He lifted my by the waist and sat me in the sink. He started brushing my hair with the hairbrush. He brushed my hair gently as if my hair was gold that needed to be taken care of.

"You smell so good," he whispered in my ear, he was breathing in my neck. "I should have showered with you so could rub body wash all over you." His lips bushed my neck as he spoke. He was ruining his hands up and down my thighs. He kissed, nipped, and sucked my neck. Feels so good. I was biting my lip to stop the moans.

"Jonathan, stop." He didn't listen. He kept sucking my throat. Angel if he doesn't stop I don't think I'll be able to stop the moans. He grabbed me by my inside thighs and pulled me closer to his body. I was biting my lip too hard, I tasted blood. He kept sucking my throat and running his through my thighs. His touch was burning me with desire."Sto–op," I moaned. Damn it! He squeezed my thighs and sucked harder at my throat. I moaned, he smirked against my throat. He picked me up, I automatically wrapped my legs around him. He walked to the bedroom and closed the door behind us. The lock clicked and he set me down in bed.

He was on top of me. He kissed from my neck to my jaw. He was pressing against me. I could feel him growing with ever moan, every kiss, every touch. He pulled his shirt off. Angle, he's beautiful. I stared in awe at his muscles. I wanted to run my hands through his abs. He parted my legs a little, he pressed harder against me, I moaned. Feels so good. I could feel his erection through the robe and his sweatpants.

Jonathan claimed my lips. He kissed me fiercely. He lifted my thighs pressing me even yards to him, we both moaned. He sucked my bottom lip and moved his hips. The friction made us moan. He moved his hips in a circular motion. I was moaning and digging my nails in his shoulders.

He began to untie my robe. Thoughts raced through my head. No! I can't want this! But I do. I have to hate him. I have to stick to the plan. I pushed Jonathan off me. He was busy in his ministrations, I caught him off ward and he fell off the bed.

"What the hell," he shouted. I retied the robe.

"Get out!" I yelled. I was containing the tears. I will not let him see me cry!

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" he shouted. "You were enjoying it I know it!"

"No I wasn't," I lied. "I DON'T WANT YOU!"

"YES YOU DO!" He clenched his jaw. "You will love me, Clary. You will love me one day and soon." He stormed out the room and slammed the door.

"One day I will not love you," I whispered. I buried my face in the pillow. The room was quiet except for my sobs.

Why him? Why? Why couldn't it be someone else?

I rolled of the bed. I walked to the small restroom. My eyes were red from crying. I washed my face and walked to the small closet. I pulled some black underwear, black pyjama shorts, and a white v-neck. I curled up in the now cold bed. The bed feels warm when he's here. I closed my eyes and hoped for fast sleep.

Hope you like it!

Please tell me what you think. Review. If you have read my other stories you should know I love reviews. If you didn't knew now you do so review. I did not check for spelling errors, sorry.

Please tell me if is good its my first for this pairing.

Love you all!

-Karimebane.