WARNING: EVERYTHING BAD THAT HAS EVER EXISTED IN THE WORLD IS POSSIBLE IN THIS FAN FIC. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT AT LEAST SLIGHTLY DEPRAVED. Thanks.

Fifty Shades of Clowns

Chapter 1

"Christian, I am leaving to follow my dream to become a circus clown." Anastasia said randomly one day.

"What? NO! I forbid you from going Ana! You are mine and I don't like clowns. I had a bad childhood and there was clowns in it." Christian shouted, waving his arms in the air. They were at a fancy dinner and now people were staring but it didn't matter 'cause they don't have money.

Ana pouted and threw down her fork, fed up with her husband's behavior. They had a two year old son together but Christian was still not grown up and was out all the time late at night. So Ana made up her mind to leave him, and in a public place so he wouldn't beat her with a turkey leg again. Too many witnesses. Even the great Christian Gray couldn't get away with that, could he?

Their son was going to live with her family while she pursued her dream to be a clown. She always wanted to do it, but she got caught up in trying to conform to society and live up to expectations. It had been a secret dream of hers, one that got her hot and bothered at night. But being with Christian showed her that people live weird fantasies out, so why couldn't they be her weird fantasies? At any rate, it was too late to turn back. The clown car was waiting for her outside.

The dark-haired man grabbed at her as she got up to leave, but she slapped his hand away. Her self-respect had been building within her over the past year and all the late night bondage sessions had worn her patience thin. Ana was determined to prove to Christian, and more importantly to herself, that she was more than just a walking vagina. No… now she was going to be a clown, bringing joy to many through the fine artistry of slapstick comedy and face paint. Screw running a publishing company or whatnot! What did she know about that anyway? Life is lived in smiles, not boardrooms and bedrooms.

"Goodbye Christian." Ana said, tearing herself away and storming out of the restaurant.

"Ana!" He screamed, flipping over the table in rage. "Come back here!" He chased after her. "Anastasia!"

She ran through the swinging doors to the car. It was a tiny thing, smaller than a smart car. Although it seemed uncomfortable, it was definitely not one of the most painful positions she'd been in during the past few years. Kicking off her heels, she jumped in and slammed the door shut. Jerry put his foot down, flooring the tiny gas pedal. They were off in an instant, Christian running behind them as they left.

"Are you okay, Ana?" Jerry asked, his clown make-up lending a sad note to his words. Ana had met him and the other clowns on the internet when she wasn't chatting with Christian. They became fast friends and encouraged her to find her own path. She was going to live with them now.

"I will be, Jerry." She sighed, watching Christian's image fade in the rearview mirror.

'Goodbye Christian.' Ana thought sadly. 'I hope one day you understand.'