AN: Hello everyone! Long time, no updates, huh? Sorry about that, I just got back to town and I've been trying to get back in the swing of school after a glorious vacation. Thanks for being so understanding about the lack of updates, guys, I appreciate it. =)
So, a couple things:
1) If anyone from PLL is reading this, I promise you, I will update Hopeless by the end of the month. I've just got a million and one things to do before I have any free time to upload a large amount of stuff, but when I get a break, I will write and update. =)
2) For this story, it's ElleGideon simply because I was watching Season 1 all over again, and it might have been my personal opinion colouring things but I saw some chemistry there. I did, and I wrote about it because I simply will not believe that both Elle and Gideon just went Poof! once leaving the show. I loved them, I won't believe they just vanished into thin air. So, this is my way of dealing with it. This is the first half of the two-shot, and as far as places, I have no idea if there is actually a place called Cotton River. It sounded cute, so I used it. Also, I actually have no idea why Sarah was in Gideon's apartment when Frank killed her, but the second half of the story addresses why I think she was there. I don't know if it's canon, but it's how it unfolded in my head.
3) And, for factual accuracy, I have no idea what it takes to get licensed to do therapy, but for this, let's say that ex- FBI profilers get a little leniency when it comes to licensing. For all I know I could be wrong in every conceivable way but I just didn't see Elle slipping quietly into domestic life. So there is that.
Okay! I think that's it... Enjoy, guys. =) It's more like a family/ comfort thing, but if you subscribe to Elle and Gideon as a pairing as I do, it's there if you look for it.
Enjoy!
Since he left the BAU at a run, Frank's words followed him. When he was in a town in Wyoming and lost in bird watching, he heard someone ask, 'What is your obsession with birds, Jason?' He'd packed up and was gone by four o'clock the next morning, leaving one very confused and sleepy hotel desk attendant in his wake.
When he was visiting Mount Rushmore and contemplating the hubris of man, he could almost hear 'You're not the hero your parents thought you were, Jason'. The former profiler had barricaded himself in the cottage he'd rented for a day and a half until the shaking stopped.
As he sat at the base of a tree in the hills of Yosemite National Park, he'd picked up a pencil and paper and sketched the area for hours. He'd felt at peace for the first time in months, surrounded by that much beauty, and he thought of how his family would have enjoyed the scene. But Frank had to ruin that too. He thought of JJ's smile and Emily's laugh and Hotch's smirk, Morgan's personality, Garcia's enthusiasm, and Spencer's genuineness. All the beauty and life he'd left behind after Frank destroyed it, destroyed Sarah, and even then, in the depths of nature itself, he heard, 'Beauty can cover a multitude of sins, but underneath, we all look exactly the same' as the wind rustled through the trees and over the crashing water. Even dead, he wouldn't stop hunting him.
Jason Gideon tried not to be a hateful man, but he hoped that whatever level of hell Frank Breitkopf was in was the hottest they had to offer.
It took a little over a year and a half for him to find his way to Cotton River, Colorado. It was a town so small it was little more than a speck on the map, but it was a little piece of nostalgia. The houses were quaint three and four bedroom buildings, each equipped with the white picket fence and a dog. There was one main street that stretched through the middle of town, there were no highways to speak of, and only one route out of town. When he stepped out of the fourth car he'd purchased in seventeen months, he knew he'd be staying in this town for a month or more.
He got settled into a motel and spent the day wandering around, getting acquainted with the town and the locals, all of whom were very friendly. Immediately, he picked out four who he would be a little wary of, a sales girl and narcissist, a gas station attending sociopath, a novelty shop owner with kleptomania, and a used car salesman who was almost obsessively paranoid, but on the whole, the town seemed like they'd pass Garcia's background check. He spent the night eating dinner in a diner, chatting with the waitress about the local sites and finding out about the town's history.
When he walked out of the motel the next morning and walked up the street with the intent of going to the grocery store, he saw a two story building with a hanging placard saying, 'Therapy and Emotional Counselling, E. Greenaway', and he decided to postpone the shopping. He gave the building a once over – post 1970s construction, fortified door and state of the art security system, hand crafted windows, hand built front porch and railing, wheelchair accessible, and gates around the windows – then walked in.
Inside, the waiting room was painted a dark green, with white couches and love seats on either side of the large bay windows letting light into the room. The floor was covered in a white carpet, a shoe and boot mat placed near the door. While Jason chose to keep his shoes on, he counted three other pairs of shoes, two adult and one child, meaning that if she was there, she had two parents and a child with her.
Gideon walked to the desk where a young man, maybe twenty five, not much younger than Spencer, greeted him with a toothy smile. "Hello, welcome to Greenaway Therapy."
"Hello. My name is Jason Gideon, I was passing by this place and I recognized the last name outside.", Jason explained. "I was wondering, could you tell me the name of the person who owns this place?"
"Sure, that would be Ms. Greenaway. She's the registered therapist here.", the kid explained.
"I see. Does Ms. Greenaway have a first name?", Jason asked.
"Yeah, she does, it's Elle. How did you say you knew her?", he asked cautiously.
"I didn't but we used to work together back in Virginia. Is she with a patient right now?"
"Yeah, one of our regulars. Family therapy. Did you want to leave a message for her?", he asked.
He had every intention of saying no, that he would wait there for her, but before he could say the words, he changed his mind. "No, that's alright. I just remembered somewhere else I have to be. Thank you."
Gideon was out the door, done his shopping and back in his motel room in a little under a half hour. He chose to stay in the motel for the better part of the day, but around dinner that evening, a knock came at his door. The former profiler opened his door and found the motel desk clerk standing in front of him.
"Yes?", Gideon asked.
"Sorry to interrupt you, Mr. Gideon, but there's someone down in the dining hall who'd like to see you.", the clerk explained and even though he knew he was dead, Gideon felt cold all over. He swore he could hear Frank say, 'I will never stop, Jason.'
"Who is it?", Gideon asked.
"They've asked me not to say, just to bring you down to the dining room.", the clerk answered and Jason knew he didn't really have a choice.
"Alright. Show me to them, will you?", Gideon asked and followed the clerk down to the dining room. When they entered the motel dining area, a very elaborate affair of high backed chairs and tables covered with silk, the clerk led him to a table where a slim brunette sat sipping a glass of water. She turned around and for the first time since she left, Jason Gideon saw Elle Greenaway smile at him and for the first time in months, he felt like he could breathe again.
"Surprise.", Elle said to him. She looked at the clerk, who was smiling behind him, and said, "Thanks Tommy."
"No problem, Ms. Greenaway. I'll get one of the girls over here to take your orders. Enjoy your dinner, guys.", the clerk, Tommy, assured them and walked over to the cash registers. Elle looked at him and smiled once again.
"Cat got your tongue, Jason?", Elle asked, gesturing to the seat beside her. He had no idea what else to do so he sat, accepting the glass of water she nudged toward him. Elle sat back in her seat and then said, "You really put a scare into Nick. He thought you were a patient who'd gone off his meds."
"Nick?", Gideon asked.
"My receptionist. I explained who you are when he told me your name. You could have left a message, you know, save me all the running around.", Elle commented.
"I didn't think you'd want to see me. You left in a quite a hurry. No calls, no emails. You vanished.", Gideon explained and Elle sighed.
"I didn't leave because of you, Jason.", Elle said quietly.
He knew that but he wanted the chance to ask her himself. "Then why? We could have helped you."
"If I hadn't, I'd have put a gun to my head. I was in pain, Jason, I couldn't take being there for one second longer.", Elle told him. "And I wanted to call. So many times I wanted to call, just to check in and see if everyone was okay. But with everything with Hotch and Morgan, I didn't know if you wanted to hear from me."
"You could have emailed. Garcia was going out of her mind, her and JJ. And Morgan and Reid and Hotch were beating themselves up about what happened to you. We were worried about you."
"Don't, Jason.", Elle warned. "Do not talk about this like I was some kind of helpess victim. I'm still here, I'm still alive."
"We didn't know that.", Gideon told her softly. "How did you find me here?"
Elle shrugged, taking another sip of her water. "I might be a little out of practice but I haven't forgotten how to profile. That, and everyone is talking about the stranger in town. It didn't take me long to hear that you were staying here." Her eyes went soft suddenly. "I heard about what happened with Breitkopf, Jason."
Even dead, the man managed to ruin everything. Gideon felt his shoulders sag. "How?"
"The news. It was a big thing around here, one of his victims was the sister of the town mayor. The PD got JJ to send them back as much information as she could for her family, not knowing that I live here. They heard about Jane, and about how he followed you back to DC.", Elle explained quietly, then reached out and took Gideon's hand in hers. "Jason, I am so sorry you had to go through that. And I'm sorry for what he did to Sarah."
Even seventeen months later, the reminder of that night still made a sharp pain shoot through him. "I could have saved her. I should have saved her.", Gideon mumbled. "Now her boys will never see their mother again."
"Jason, there was nothing you could have done. Breitkopf was a monster.", Elle told him firmly, forcing him to look up at her. "Sarah's death was a tragedy, and he made sure there was nothing you could have done to stop him."
"I could have. I could have stopped him. Killed him right there in the desert, after he told me where the kids were. If I had, I'd have saved Sarah and Rebecca and Jane."
"Jason, that's not something you'd ever do.", Elle reminded him gently. Gideon looked up at her and her mouth opened in shock as she saw the look on his face.
"You did, and Lee can't hurt anyone anymore.", Gideon told her quietly. Elle's eyes fell to their linked hands and she squeezed his hand once.
"You're not me, Jason.", Elle answered then looked up and smiled as a waitress walked over to them. "Tara, I didn't know you were working tonight."
The waitress, a young blonde girl, smiled at Elle then answered, "Yeah, Ms. Greenaway. An empty shift came up and it got me out of the house. Have you two decided what you're having or should I give you another minute?"
"Well, I think I could go for the steak special. It's been a good day. Jason? What are you having? My treat.", Elle asked.
"Elle, you don't have to –"
"But I am, Jason. Consider it a welcome gift. Now what do you want to eat?", Elle pressed with a grin. Gideon glanced at the menu then shrugged and said,
"I'll have what you're having."
"Great. Can I get you anything to drink? We've got pop, iced tea, lemonade, most of the name brand beers, as well as a pretty large selection of wine.", Tara asked, jotting down the order on her notepad.
"I'll just have a ginger ale, thanks, Tara. I need to drive back to my place.", Elle answered. "Jason?"
"Lemonade would be great, thank you."
"No problem. Alright, that's two steak specials, a ginger ale and lemonade. Coming right up.", Tara said and collected the menus.
When the young girl was out of earshot, Gideon said, "You know everyone in town?"
"It's a pretty small town; you get to after a while. Tara's mother was one of my patients."
"'Was'?"
"She died a year or so ago.", Elle explained. "I treated Tara for a while after it, just some therapy to help deal with the loss. She and her mom were pretty close."
"She seems to have handled with things well."
"You never get over the death of a parent, Jason, I know from experience.", Elle told him. "But humans, especially kids, are resilient. She bounced back well."
Gideon raised his glass of water and said, "Here's to human resilience."
Elle clinked her glass against his. "I'll drink to that."
"You lied to her though. You don't have to drive back to your house. I didn't see a car by your office.", Jason accused and Elle laughed.
"Only here twenty minutes and you're already profiling me.", Elle replied, a smile pulling across her face.
"Force of habit.", Gideon said and shrugged.
"Well, you're right, I did lie. I just live up the street here, but you see the girl Tara is talking to?", Elle asked and Gideon flicked his eyes to where Tara stood by the doors to the kitchen. "She and Tara are two of the biggest gossips in town. If I had something to drink while in the company of a male gentleman, it wouldn't take long for it to go around that I wasn't driving home, and soon after people would jump to the conclusion that I had other sleeping arrangements for the night."
For the first time in ages, Gideon laughed. "Ah, I understand. Well, teenagers are nothing if not curious.", he said to her. "So, when did you get licensed?"
"I took some classes shortly after I left the BAU. I figured I knew enough about the human psyche that I might as well put them to use doing something I like. Turns out, therapy is that thing.", Elle explained.
"And how did you get here? This is the last place I'd have picked to find you in."
"That was kind of the point.", Elle answered, grinning at him. "I wanted to get as far away as I could from everything that ever hurt me, and I wound up passing through here after I left Virginia. I stayed for a while, got a place out here. I met a man, got married, and then got divorced when I woke up screaming from a nightmare to find my bed empty and my husband in the next house over with our neighbour's wife."
"I'm sorry.", Gideon said by default, even though he thought any man who would cheat on Elle Greenaway had to be the dumbest man on earth.
"I'm not.", Elle scoffed. "It was the best thing that could have happened to me. During the divorce, it got out, courtesy of my ex, that I had nightmares. "Terrible, screaming, wake the dead nightmares", according to him. He thought I was insane, but the county judge who divorced us and awarded me a generous spousal support amount recognized it for what it was. After the trial, he recommended me to a therapist, Doctor Miranda Fields. She reminded me a lot of Reid, actually. I was her patient for the better part of six months and when it came time for her to retire, she asked me to take over the practice after her. She said I didn't need her help anymore, but that I had experiences that would let me help a lot of other people, victims of violent crimes, etcetera."
"So that led you to opening your practice here?"
"That's right. I'm in town here three days a week and the next county over three other days of the week, giving me one day of glorious freedom. And, it gives my ex a constant reminder of just where his alimony is going.", Elle chuckled. "He runs the novelty store up the street, Jason Thoms."
"Kleptomaniac.", Gideon immediately told her and Elle laughed again.
"So you've met him. He was a good man at first but during the divorce, I found out that he'd been transferring money from our joint account to an offshore account. I figured using the alimony to finance my practice was as subtle a 'Screw you' as I could come up with, given the circumstances."
"Sounds like you've made quite a home for yourself here. I'm happy for you, Elle.", Gideon said to her and she smiled again.
"Well, not to pressure you or anything, but it could be your home too.", Elle told him and Gideon blinked in confusion.
"What are you talking about?", Gideon asked.
"Come on, Jason. I know that look in your eye; I've seen it enough to know what it means.", Elle reminded him. "You're running, looking for something to make you happy and to fill the hole Frank left in your chest, to stop the bleeding. I know, I've been there."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that you're brilliant. I'm saying that you know more about people than any other human being I've ever met, and I could use another therapist. I'm saying that I'm offering you a job."
"Elle, I'm not licensed."
"The people here don't need degrees and medical jargon; they need to know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and that they can and will reach it.", Elle explained, leaning over the table and keeping his hand in hers. "They need to know that there are other people out there who have the same wounds, and have gone through worse than they'll ever see and that they can survive."
Gideon was quiet and silence lapsed between them as he considered what Elle was proposing. He looked up at her and said, "How can I let them know that when I'm still just as in the dark as they are?"
"It doesn't happen overnight, Jason. Or even over seventeen months' worth of nights.", Elle told him knowingly. Her eyes went to her hands, and she said, "It's taken me a little over three years to stop sleeping with the light on and a knife under my pillow, and if I think about it too much, I can still see my blood on the wall when I close my eyes. For the year and a half I was married, my ex was afraid to come up behind me in a dark room in case I pulled a weapon on him. And it doesn't happen often anymore but every so often, when it's a hot night, I still smell Lee's cologne when I walk down the street from my office to my apartment, and it still makes me shake until I'm in my place and the door is deadlocked."
"Elle." Gideon went silent; there was nothing he could say to take that pain away. Elle smiled softly at him.
"I'm just saying, Jason. This place is the reason I'm as okay as I am. It's a small town, but there's room for one more.", Elle assured him gently. "How long are you planning to stay?"
A month. A year. Forever. The longest he'd ever spent in one place since leaving his cabin was two months in Indianapolis, and when he received a telegram from A. Hotchner, he'd burned it and was gone by the next morning. He'd used his bank card more than three times in the same town and that'd tipped Garcia off. He knew Hotch would have her watching his card usage to try to get a lead on where he was, and he just wasn't ready to deal with that reunion quite yet so he'd become a ghost once again.
But now, Elle was offering him… Offering him what, exactly? A new place to call home in this small town no one within a thousand miles had ever heard of? The fact that Elle was offering him anything at all after the way her time with the team ended was amazing, but even with the longer, redder hair and the absence of the tell-tale lipstick that'd defined SSA Elle Greenaway, he could still read Elle and she meant her offer sincerely.
He shook his head and smiled. "I don't know just yet. You think me staying here is a good idea, Elle? Garcia and the team keep tabs on me; it won't be long until they realize you're nearby."
Elle grinned at him. "Let them come. I've got nothing to hide out here, Jason. All my ghosts are buried in boxes in Virginia. I just think that being out here would be good for you, if not as a therapist than as whatever you want to be. It's a clean slate."
Those words unlocked something in the older SSA's chest. A clean slate, something he'd been searching for since he found Sarah slaughtered in his apartment. It could be a new beginning; one without profiling or demons or having to stare into the darkness of men while hoping that it didn't stare back. Gideon nodded, and as Tara made her way over and Elle's hand left his, he said, "I'd like that."
The smile on Elle's face lit up the room and she said, "Then welcome home, Jason."
~*~
AN: End of part one. I hope you enjoy it, guys. =)
I've got part two typed up and ready to go but I thought it best to break it into two chapters. All together, the story reached twenty pages, so this seemed more manageable. =)
Thanks for reading, everybody! Let me know what you think.
Until next time, much love,
Oracle. (L)