Hey...guess who's trying again? Guess who's self projecting onto a fictional character to make themselves feel better? Guess who failed? If you answered "you" to all of these, then you're a fucking genius.
yEAH...
Anyway...I've been feeling like utter shit so have this 400 words word vomit.
TW: Emetophobia, Implied/referenced self-harm, Mention of suicide, slight dissociation, self-hatred.
Disclaimer: I don't own DGM
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Worthless.
Failure.
Disgrace.
Useless.
Yes...Yes...let yourself spiral down into the murky depths of your mind. Spiral further and further until the only thing that can save you is death.
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Everything hurts. Breathing hurts. Blinking hurts. Living hurts.
Everything in my body feels like its screaming and pleading, like it wants to do anything in its power to stop the aching and torment that it felt. Even just shutting down entirely would be satisfactory.
I took a small and shallow breath in and my lungs screamed in protest of the small inhale, and I winced in pain. The saliva that built up in my mouth, I tried to swallow, my throat ached and pulled in on itself, the pain from all the vomit and bile that came out what felt like moments ago. I tried to adjust myself and my arms and legs couldn't handle the weight that was my body and just made me slump further to the ground, making me fall uncomfortably onto my left arm.
I knew I was crying from the pain, because that also hurt. My eyes stung whenever I tried to blink. The salty tears hurting a small scratch on my cheek, making the scratch burn and irritated.
Why did everything hurt? Why was I always in pain?
Why was I even born?
I didn't ask for this life...I was given it, yes, but this life was painful and unforgiving. This life was torture, and all I wanted to do was be rid of it all.
And I would be pissed if I allowed myself to live this life a second more.
That's why everything hurts now. The vomit was from the pills. my left arm hurt because I tried to mutilate the already disgusting creature it was. I don't know where the scratch came from...maybe Timcanpy...I don't know...
All I could tell now was my darkening vision.
"This is what I want."
Yes.
"This is what I want."
Yes.
"Thi-is is what I-I want."
Fall
"T-this is-"
And never rise again.
Never rise.
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Pathetic.
Insolent.
Anomalous.
Monster.
Just die already.
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I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry