KATE

The Aiea loop wasn't an especially long trail, but Kate just enjoyed getting away from the built up areas along the coast of central Oahu. It seemed strange that she only had to cycle for ten or fifteen minutes and suddenly she was in a different world, one that was green and brown and alive with birdsong. Even on the road there were places where the trees rose tall above her.

Once she got to the trailhead, there were moments when she felt completely surrounded by the trees, warmly enveloped by nature. She'd never considered herself a country girl, but after living in rural Serbia, DC and LA were overwhelming, and even here in Hawaii the highly developed areas around Honolulu and Pearl made her feel positively claustrophobic after a while.

It was refreshing to escape. Sometimes she treated it as a workout, but on days like today, when the trail itself was blessedly quiet and the weather was not too hot, she was more than happy to stroll and take it slowly, savouring the sense of freedom and the clean, eucalyptus scented mountain air. After an intense early morning session with her therapist, the serenity was welcome.

The park was named Kea'iwa Heiau for the ruins at its entrance, and Kate liked to stop sometimes and look out over the remains of the healing temple. The catechism teachers from her youth would have been horrified, she was sure, but she liked to think the spirits of the ancient kahunas might look favourably on her as she tried to make a positive difference on their island, and that maybe they would help her regain her equilibrium. Something about the place restored a sense of peace in her heart, and she always murmured a prayer of thanks as she came past it.

Today, though, she started straight in on the trail. Even at a leisurely pace it didn't take Kate long to reach one of her favourite spots, where the view was a sea of green over the mountains. There was a bench, but the trail was wide here and she liked to perch cross legged on a protruding root. It made her feel like a kid again, and that was oddly comforting. For a while she could simply be, letting herself soak in the beauty around her and allowing the stresses of the week to melt away.

She was so engrossed by the view and her thoughts that she didn't consciously register the footsteps until his hand landed on her shoulder. Then training and instinct kicked in, and she twisted round awkwardly, gun in hand even as she fought to keep her balance.

Her attacker just laughed, and shock and relief warred when she saw who had crept up on her.

"Gibbs!" Her heart was pounding and she could hardly catch her breath. She'd been so preoccupied, so far away... thank God she wasn't trigger happy. "What are you- damn it, Gibbs, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

He gave her a lopsided grin, not looking repentant in the least. "Glad to see you still have good reflexes there, Kate."

Her muscles unknotted and she lowered and then holstered her gun, forcing herself to breathe slowly and evenly to get her still racing pulse to calm down. "Well creeping up on me like that's a good way to get yourself killed," she grumbled. "I didn't know you were in Hawaii."

He shrugged in agreement. "Got here today."

"You didn't tell me you were coming." It came out downright accusatory. It was somehow easier than saying it's really good to see you, I'm glad you're here.

He shrugged again, and the corner of his mouth twitched. He looked amused. "Nope."

Typical Gibbs. Laconic, laughing at her - and good God had she missed the irritating old bastard.

"Well maybe next time you could warn me? So I don't shoot you, I mean," she added hurriedly. She didn't feel altogether comfortable assuming there would be a next time - or that she had any right to demand notice. "That paperwork would be a bitch."

His smile widened, and Kate tried not to feel riled. Gibbs always could get under her skin, and she would've liked some preparation for this meeting.

"Well, you did once say you were destined to shoot me, Agent Todd." The laughter had seeped from his eyes into his tone.

Kate opened her mouth to deliver a snappy comeback, then shut it again when she realised she had no response. Reluctantly she allowed herself to smile back and shook her head. She really was glad to see him, after all, even if wild horses wouldn't drag that admission out of her. "Still, can you imagine? It wouldn't exactly look good, shooting my boss so soon after they cleared me to come back to work."

He tilted his head a little to one side. "Not your boss any more, Kate."

Her breath caught in her throat for a moment, then she shook it off. "Well, you know what I mean."

There was another moment of silence and then Gibbs nodded with a slight smile before gesturing to the view. "I can see why you come up here," he said, as he lowered himself to the ground beside her. He sounded conciliatory, and she was grateful for the diversion.

It wasn't lost on Kate that he was humouring her, but in the circumstances she was prepared to be relieved rather than annoyed. "Yeah, it really is beautiful. The park's called Keaiwa Heiau in Hawaiian. One of my team told me Keaiwa means 'the mystery'."

"That 'cause of the temple down by the entrance?"

She shot another glance at him, surprised. "How'd you know?"

He half closed his eyes and shrugged. "Not my first time on Oahu, Kate." He looked sidelong at her. "So, how is island life treating Special Agent Caitlin Todd?"

Kate couldn't hide the wince at her full name. She'd never told her team mates, old or new, how it made her feel. Most people called her Kate anyway, so it hadn't been a big deal. As for Gibbs, he had rarely been quite that formal even when he was her boss. Now she wished she'd said something before, tried to explain.

"What's wrong?"

Drat. He was too perceptive by half. Kate twitched a shoulder, tried to shake off the feeling. "I guess I kind of got used to being Suzana when I was in Serbia. It's pretty." She smiled a little. Was he buying this? Probably not. "It means lily or rose. I like that. My middle name is Rose, so..."

Gibbs chuckled, gave her a sideways look, raised an eyebrow. "A rose by any other name..."

Kate blinked. Did he- did he just quote Romeo and Juliet to me? She mimicked his expression, cocking her eyebrow, and hoped desperately that she looked arch rather than borderline stunned. "Was that, uh... a compliment, Gibbs?"

He grinned a little wider and laughed again, but didn't reply.

"Well anyway-" she ploughed on, hoping he'd let this slide "-the kids in my neighbourhood here call me Keke. It's catching on."

He pulled a face that seemed to indicate slight distaste. "Cute."

Kate shot him a glare for the adjective, but didn't push it. His bone dry snark had clearly not deserted him. "I like it." She tried not to sound too defensive. "Makes me feel like I belong, you know?"

He smiled, his face softening, nodded. "Makes sense."

They were quiet for a minute, and Kate let her attention drift back to the view. It was a tonic for all her negative thoughts, and if she was honest with herself, there was something about sharing it that made it even more special. Being here with a... a friend?

What was Gibbs to her? He'd been a colleague for two years, she trusted him absolutely, but he'd never been easy to get to know. He was an ally; someone she knew would be there for her when she needed him.

In some ways she was already more familiar with her team here in Hawaii - she hadn't known them long, but the nature of their work meant she had learned to rely on them quickly, and had rapidly settled into a comfortable relationship, bantering with them, getting to know their foibles, their strengths and weaknesses, spending time socialising with them outside of work. The case load here was somewhat lighter and tended to be less violent, and Kate was grateful she hadn't been thrust back into the intensity of the DC office.

She'd quickly grown to like them all, to enjoy working with them, but it took time to forge those deep bonds of trust and support. She couldn't deny to herself that she missed the closeness she'd shared with the MRCT. She cared about them and she knew they cared about her.

In some ways, Gibbs might care the most of all. His team was his family, she knew. He took threats to any of them seriously, and losses affected him deeply. She hadn't been an official part of that for years now, but she had no doubt that if a madman were to appear on this trail, he would put his life on the line to save hers without a second's hesitation.

Maybe he wasn't a friend in the traditional sense, she decided, but if there was a better word for what he meant to her, she didn't know it.

When she glanced at him again, she was surprised to realise that he wasn't looking at the view, but at her.

"What?" He hadn't lost the knack of unnerving her, that was for sure.

He studied her for a few more moments. "What are you not telling me, Katie?" His voice was gentle, almost a whisper, but his expression was determined.

She swallowed hard, looked away. "What do you mean?"

She knew from experience that she was putting off the inevitable, that Gibbs wouldn't let go of this particular bone. She would still use any fair means to give herself a little longer to get her thoughts in order.

She could feel him still staring at her, and forced herself to keep breathing steadily, not to let panic overwhelm her.

"Why did you flinch at your own name?"

Kate ducked her head, turned even further away from him, and blinked rapidly. I will not cry. I will not cry. Sure, she had known that Gibbs wouldn't give up so easily, or be satisfied by her feeble explanation, but that didn't make this easier to talk about.

She hadn't even told Abby or her sister that her name had become a trigger... that she'd done her best, this last month or so, to make sure that it was the last thing anyone would ever think to call her.

Besides the shrinks, the only person she had told was Ducky, and even that had been of necessity. The old man had always called her Caitlin, affectionately, and once upon a time it had made her feel like a favourite granddaughter. She had had to tell him that it wasn't his fault it now made her cringe, and she had been grateful for his empathy and compassion.

"Katie?" Gibbs gently brushed her hair back from her face and then grasped her shoulder reassuringly for a moment.

It wasn't like Gibbs to be so demonstrative, but in the unfamiliarity there was an intimacy and tenderness which helped her feel safe, and loosened her tongue.

"It's just... I don't really ever use Caitlin any more. Because, ah. I mean..." She wrinkled up her nose as she tried to figure out how to put her aversion into words. It's Gibbs, she finally decided. Just be straightforward.

Taking a deep breath and blinking a few more times, she turned back towards him, though she still kept her eyes trained on the distant horizon and the suggestion of sea. Something to think about so the memories wouldn't ambush her. "Ari called me Caitlin, and I hated it, I really..." The words tumbled out in a rush - she was surprised how easily they came, once she had started. "And then afterward his crew did, too. He made it sound so- I hated it. Hated them." She brushed a stray tear away from her cheek. "By the time I got away from them..." Thinking about Ari made her want to jump in a shower, to wash away the onslaught of feelings and scrub herself clean of the taint. "I guess I... It has too many bad memories attached."

There was a long, long moment of silence. Kate was glad Gibbs was sitting beside her, not opposite her. She wasn't sure she could deal with looking in his eyes.

He gently reached over and took her hand, squeezed it; gentle, unspoken reassurance. "Sorry, Katie," he murmured.

She bumped his shoulder with hers, then gave in to a sudden impulse and let herself lean into him, her head tucked into the crook of his neck - momentarily lost for words and hoping he'd understand that this was an expression of gratitude.

With the hindsight of seven years, she felt she had taken for granted how comforting it was to have someone like Gibbs watching her back, someone she could always call on for help. She knew in her gut his concern for her well-being was as deep now as it had been when they'd worked together.

"I'm so glad you're here," she breathed, and it almost didn't matter whether he heard her or not. She had a feeling he knew.

Eventually she made herself straighten up. She fully intended to slip quietly back into professional mode. Gibbs was being more than usually kind, but only Abby really got away with this stuff on a regular basis. When he let go of her hand, she assumed he was thinking the same thing, but she had barely opened her mouth in an attempt to say something that would move them onto safer topics when he gently but firmly put his arm round her waist and pulled her back against him.

For a moment she was so surprised it seemed like every muscle in her body tensed up at the same time, but then she gave in. She needed this, had needed it for so long. It was somewhat unexpected that it was Gibbs who was offering this practical, physical comfort, sure, but she realised that he was pretty good at it. No talking required, she thought with a grin. Maybe it shouldn't be so surprising after all. As her mind and body began to accept the strange but welcome situation, she could feel herself relaxing more than she had in- well, longer than she cared to remember.

She felt him rest his head gently against the top of hers. He ran a hand lightly over her hair, wiped away the tears she hadn't even realised she was crying, and then as if by mutual agreement, they sat and looked at the stunning view without talking, the only sounds their breathing and the calls of birds in the trees around them. Kate let her eyes slip closed for a moment - just for a moment - and it was only a few moments more before she fell asleep.