Help! My Vital Regions are Under Attack!

By: Ciamil B.

Note: Axis Powers Hetalia is a webcomic turned manga soon to become anime set during World War II. The gist is that each country is a person who interacts with other country-people like countries act with each other. For example, Germany, Italy, and Japan are close because they are the Axis Powers during World War II. China and Japan don't like each other, America and England don't like each other, either.

In this fanfiction, there is an organization that consists of people who represent countries. For example, Ivan is Russia (like he is in APH), Feliciano is Italy (like he is in APH), and Im Yong Soo is Korea (like he is in APH). They get together every year and hold a 'conference' in which they deal with issues of the world during a certain time period. It's just a fun organization that is watched by a surprising amount of people online (the organization appears on television whenever they have a conference). Each person stays in character and acts like their country would towards other countries. Outside of conferences, though, the people also know each other by their real names (there are only about 40 of they, after all). So, Feliciano bothers Ludwig outside of conferences, and Berwald (Sweden) and Tino (Finland) are practically married outside of the conferences, too.

Ask me questions by reviews and I will try to answer them in the next chapters! I'm sorry if I did not do a good job explaining! I wrote this note after writing the chapter, so I'm a little frazzled.

There are a million and one way that I could possibly commit suicide, and one of them is taking Kai's scarf and hanging myself with it. Is it too much to ask that the people around me just stay out of my personal life for once? I guess it all started when some old acquaintances popped back up in my life. Not that old, actually, since we've been in contact regularly for the past five years, but still, I don't see all of them that often. I suppose I should start from the beginning, as things usually make more sense when people do.

My name is Rei Kon, also known as 'that long haired guy on the Japanese Beyblading team'. You can just call me Rei. Anyways, I'm part of an organization that's devoted to acting out relations of countries and the history of countries regarding other countries. Yeah, weird, I know, but history interests me. If it weren't for beyblade, I think I would be at home looking over history books and stuff like that.

It wasn't that bad in the beginning. Ivan just came over to say hi. Then, things got worse. He called me China. It's one thing to have a giant Russian man hug you and say hi, it's another to have him hug you and call you China in front of all your fellow beybladers who are all just standing there with 'what the hell' looks on their faces. It's even worse when said Russian man is over 182 centimeters tall and looks very intimidating with a long iron water pipe in his pocket.

Yeah, I KNOW it was a bad idea to promptly scream 'Korea!' while trying to shove Ivan away, but what else was I suppose to do? Im Yong is usually near me when Ivan does stuff like this, and Im Yong always comes to my rescue (I should really get him something for saving me all these years…). Like God was watching over me, Im Yong suddenly appeared in all his Korean-dress-wearing glory and waved his giant sleeves in Ivan's face, causing the latter's grip to loosen. Not missing the chance, I grabbed Im Yong and ran into the nearest room I could.

And that's how I ended up here, in the bathroom of the beyblading stadium with Im Yong next to me, hugging me and asking if I'm all right in an annoying voice.

"Aniki, aniki! Are you okay? Is there anywhere you'd like to me to kiss? Aniki!" Annoying, yet endearing. It's the very essence that makes up Im Yong's personality.

"Everything's fine! Now go away!" Oh damn, I should not have said that. It's all the stress; it's getting to me.

Oh no, Im Yong Soo, you did not just start crying.

Aw, crap. You did.

"Sorry, Im Yong, you can stay," I say, patting Im Yong on the back and pulling him closer to me so that we can sit together in companionable silence. I hope I locked the door so that Ivan can't get in –

"Rei."

Great. Now Ivan is in here, too. Why isn't anyone coming to stop him? Namely, Natalie. I know she hates it when Ivan and I get too close to each other, so where is she? Why can't she just come and stab me in the eye with a knife so I can get sent to the hospital?

"Natalie is sick today," Ivan says, as if reading my thoughts. He probably can, though. Freaky Russians…

"Rei!" I can hear Max's voice from behind the door that Ivan is currently blocking with his freakishly large body. "Are you okay? What's going on? Kai looks ready to kill someone!" Crap, now I've got Kai on my case.

"I hate you, you know?" I say to Ivan. He just smiles, not looking too bothered that I hate him. God damn him. He knows that I can never truly hate him. I am, however, righteously pissed at him right now. "What the hell did you think you were doing," I hiss at him. I'm not interested in the answer. "I'm perfectly content and normal, dammit, when I'm a beyblader. Now they have to know about my life in the organization, too? I am going to KILL you." I mean it. Figuratively, of course. I'm going to bitch and moan at him until he can't handle it and says sorry for forcing me to talk about my organizational life with my teammates.

Turning away from a clearly regretting his decision to call me China in front of all my teammates Ivan (I've made Switzerland apologize for shooting at Korea during a conference before by bitching and moaning about it until he couldn't take it, stood up, and said "Sorry, Korea". I think it was the first time the man ever said sorry before), I face Im Yong.

"Im Yong, go back to the hotel where you're staying. I have to deal with my team members," I say to Im Yong, prying him off of me. Ivan just stands by the door, looking at the both of us. How is it that he doesn't see Im Yong as a threat?

"But Aniki!"

"No buts," I say strictly, pulling him off the floor while standing up myself. An older brother has to take responsibility sometimes and guide his younger siblings in the right direction. "I must make clear to my teammates what is currently going on so that I can make it to the conference on Saturday. You just go back with Ivan, okay?"

Immediately, I know that those words were the wrong ones to say. Ivan, known as Russia to most of the other members of the club, is insane, and Im Yong knows that.

"Noo!!!! ANIKI!!! I don't want to die so young! I haven't even been able to get closer to you yet! NOoO!!!!"

Ignoring the conations of what Im Yong just said, I brush myself and him off and push him towards the door.

"Ivan, you take him back," I order. I'm not afraid of Ivan. I know he won't hurt me. He can, of course, but he won't. "Don't hurt him. He is important to me." Im Yong smiles happily at that, despite being fearful of Ivan and his wrath.

Ivan doesn't move. I sigh.

"Come on, Ivan, you have to go sooner or later. If I don't talk to Kai soon enough, I'm going to have some trouble going to the conference on Saturday. So please, for my sake, will you take Im Yong back to the hotel?" I look up at him with pleading eyes.

It works for some reason that I cannot truly fathom. Ivan is hard to understand sometimes; I am lucky that he allows certain things for me. He nods and pushes away from the door. I relax.

"I'll do it on one condition."

And right then, I tense up again. Oh my freaking God, is that a smirk? Holy crap, it is. Beside me, I feel Im Yong tense up. Who could blame him? Whenever Ivan smirks, a puppy dies in a lonely alley way full of garbage and gangsters who want to eat it.

"You have to wear this all the time." From the folds of his humongous jacket, Ivan pulls out a red scarf. It isn't that bad, really. The colors are really nice and --- I take that back. I soo take that back.

"What the hell? I'm not wearing that all the time!" Ivan just keeps on smirking at him. He pulls me forward like a master does to his kitten.

"Let go of Aniki!" Im Yong screams, launching himself at Ivan. Smoothly, Ivan yanks the door open and shoves Im Yong out. The door shuts again with Ivan leaning against it. I hear a single oomph of surprise from Max before he and Im Yong fall to the ground. I hope Im Yong is all right... I've got bigger problems to worry about, though.

I am Rei Kon, in the bathrooms of the main beyblading stadium, with Ivan in front of me holding a red scarf.

"It's not that bad," Ivan says, looking a little hurt. Hah, like Ivan would every truly feel hurt.

"Yes, it is that bad," I hiss, trying with all my might to get away from him. Let me fill you in on a little background info. In the organization that Ivan, Im Yong, and I are involved in, I am China, Ivan is Russia, and Im Yong is Korea. Since we represent our countries, we must also form the bonds that our countries have. And, since we're currently covering World War II, Russia and China are still both communist countries. Ivan and I were forced to spend unholy amounts of time with each other while we were preparing for our speeches last year. And… well… uh… Things… happened.

"It has the Russian flag on it! And your symbol!" I hiss at him, scratching a faint line on his arms. It's true, the scarf the he wants me to wear has the Russian flag on it and his symbol: a faucet. Don't ask me why it's a faucet. I can't fully fathom what goes on in his mind.

"So?"

"So I can't wear it! I have a Russian man on my team, for goodness sake! He might get the wrong idea and it'll be awkward!" Ivan suddenly looks angry.

"Why?"

"Just because! No one knows that I'm China, either! It's going to be hell for me to explain!" My head suddenly starts throbbing, just like it did the first time Ivan gave me a sunflower that he had brought from Russia when we had our third conference together. Ivan shifts a little and starts to wrap the scarf around my neck. "It's all your fault you asshole!"

"If anyone bothers you," he starts, bringing both ends of the red cloth to the front of my chest, "tell me their names and they'll be gone." I shiver. That's Ivan's evil talking, right there.

"By the way," Ivan says, "here." I blink, and there is suddenly a pink and white rose in front of me. Even though his first gift to me was a sunflower, Ivan still gives me other ones… A pink and white rose means "I love you still and always will," I think. It's the flower that caused Mao to start wearing pink and white all the time to show her love of her deceased pet turtle that died when she was three.

"Ivan…" It's pretty awkward all the time. He gives me a flower, and I don't really want to take it. Flowers die off after a couple of days. It makes me feel sad whenever I have to throw away what he gives me. Especially since we're…

Ivan just smiles and tucks the flower into one of the scarf-loops around my neck.

"Don't mind the others too much," he says, patting me on the head affectionately, "because eventually, everything will belong to Russia, right?" I smile. What he just said has absolutely nothing to do with the current situation and everything to do with the conference coming up on Saturday. It's also one of the reasons why those who keep an eye on our organization fear him so much.

"Thanks, Ivan," I say, "but you're still going to pay for it later." With that, I step away from him, pulling the rose away from my neck and holding it loosely in my hands. It'll probably get dropped onto the floor if I kept it in my scarf. "I'll see you on Saturday. Don't you dare break into where I'm living and terrorize everyone."

"Oh, I won't." Sure Ivan. Sure you won't. I do not trust the look on your face, Ivan. Shaking my head, I open the door that no longer has Ivan leaning against it and am immediately greeted by the sight of Im Yong and Max still on the floor in pain.

How has no one come to pick them up yet? Kai usually gets angry if we don't report to him when he wants us to, and I know that Ivan and I took a long time in the bathroom. Hm… It's really strange.

Ivan slips away from behind me, poking me in the arm and picking up Im Yong before leaving the area back to the hotel.

"REI! YOU'RE OKAY! I KNEW SOMETHING BAD WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU WHEN IVAN SUDDENLY LEFT!!!"

What would you do if you were suddenly tackled by an Italian male? Would you: a) sit back and take it because said Italian male was hot and you only had a few minutes before his German boyfriend came and pried him off of you while shooting you dirty looks, b) shove him away and start screaming about having your 'vital regions' invaded, or c) lose consciousness due to the force of your head coming in contact with the door of the bathroom behind you?

Considering the fact that I am Max Tate, and Rei is currently passed out a few feet away from me near the bathroom door, it's safe to assume that Rei had option C forced upon him. I could not have gotten a suckier scene to wake up to after being bombarded by a strange male wearing a dress.

Kai is going to KILL me.

End note: I'm sorry this sucks so much! X I just wrote what came to mind because I really, really wanted to write something in which Rei was China!

I'm sorry if I got the names of the people wrong. I don't know what is the first name of Im Yong Soo, so I just went with Im Yong.

Please give me your thoughts in a review and don't yell at me too harshly.

- Ciamil B.