Characters belong to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Mark Gatiss, and Steven Moffat.
I would also really like some writing tips from you guys so please review!
Are you paying attention? Good. If you are not listening carefully, you will miss things. Important things. I will not pause, I will not repeat myself, and you cannot not interrupt me. You think that because you're sitting where you are, and I am sitting where I am, that I am in control of what is about to happen. You're mistaken. You are in control, because you know things that I do not know.
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John? I know you're not there. You are gone. If you are gone, why do I feel nothing, John? You always told me I was a human, with feelings, with thoughts. Am I John, am I a man…or am I a machine? You told me I had the capability to love, John. You said I had a conscience. If I am a human with 'feelings', John, why do I not feel anything at your absence? My friend. My…. friend. My only friend, at least, you were my only friend. I know you were my friend. And now you are gone. You were my conscience, John. You loved when I couldn't. When that was stripped from me, did I just become the likeness of the cold, metal computer I spend so much time on? Did you just shadow that part of me, a streak of white-out on my research papers? I don't know. For once I just don't know, John. The great Sherlock Holmes of 221B Baker is lost.
I want to be what you say I am, John. I will never admit this to anyone, and most especially not to Mycroft. I can only tell this story with paper and ink. Emotions are messy, childish things, but they give life, John. Life. Something I never had until I met you, my friend. You had life. You had Mary and your child. You had Gavin...Graham...Geoff, whatever his name is. You were my shadow that was everywhere at anytime. You were a shadow that knew more than the one who casts it did. When a shadow ceases to exist, its owner has been stripped of everything once held dear, stripped of life itself. I am not a machine John, I am not a machine! I don't want to be a machine! Please John, please. I want to feel the pain at your absence, but I can not. I am not in control, John. Convince me, convince me John! Convince me that I am what you say I am. Please, John.
please