TIME TO LET GO
March roared in like the lion it claimed to be…a lion with a nasty attitude. The lamb part of March appeared to be terribly scared and hiding somewhere far away. The whole castle was suffering from a case of late winter blahs just at a time when they would normally be looking forward to the first signs of spring. The month had reintroduced itself in the form of a blizzard that had lasted two full days. Nearly three and a half feet of snow had been dumped from the gray, bitter sky, effectively locking all of Hogworts inhabitants indoors. Not even Hagrid would brave the cold winds and had cancelled his classes.
While the students tried to find new ways of fighting off boredom Harry sat on the wall in the Owlery tower ignoring the sharp winds that tossed his already mussed hair. He looked out over the snow-covered grounds, deep in thought. Hedwig sat faithfully by his side with her head tucked under one snowy wing to avoid the bitter chill. Harry ran a hand down her back absentmindedly not feeling the numbness of his fingers…or choosing not to feel it, anyway. He had much on his mind and this was the only place he could find peace, as no one was crazy enough to be up there in this weather. No one but Harry.
His green eyes were deep and bright as he faced the wind. He thought about her but not like he had in the past, not with the same deepness of feeling that had once been there. Or so he had believed. It was over, they had both agreed. Maybe it stung a little that she was the first to voice it but he couldn't deny the truth any longer. He didn't want to. They were never really meant to be. He had once wished for only her but after Cedric's death they had never really stood a chance. If he had been wise he would have realized then that the reason they kept tearing apart and then always coming back together again had been because of Cedric in the first place. He was their connection, the first love in her life, the first bitter regret in his. Their couple-hood was doomed from the moment they had shared their first kiss under the mistletoe. They fought. They never agreed on anything. They often didn't even like each other…and yet they always came back together, time and time again. She could never really understand what drove him but she also understood him in a way no one else could. It made little sense to him but it was there just the same. Perhaps it always would be. He wasn't even sure what "it" was. All he knew was that he loved her but he didn't. He would miss her but he was glad she was gone. He would cry for the loss of her but be grateful for her leaving. Some things were never meant to make sense.
He recalled her face, so lovely in its sadness, as she faced him from across the café table. Ironically, he had been looking forward to seeing her this time. It had been months since they had been together last. With him finishing his last year at Hogworts and her working as an apprentice at the Ministry, absence had indeed made his heart grow fonder. Thinking back now he could realize that really absence had just temporarily made their differences seem smaller and less important.
But in this moment he was remembering how her eyes had welled with tears. She had been struggling not to allow them to leak freely as she was often prone to doing. That alone clued him to the seriousness of what she was about to say. He inwardly braced for the oncoming hurt but found there was no need. It was time, he realized as he sat there in the pretty pink café looking into her sad face. And though it saddened him there was really no pain.
She had been kind. She had held his hand and told him that she loved him but she couldn't be with him anymore. She said she was so sorry she couldn't make things work between them. Then, wishing him nothing but happiness in his future, she stood and walked towards door.
Harry shivered sharply and wrapped his cloak tighter around him as he remembered how she had paused there, her slim hand frozen mid-air reaching for the doorknob, shoulders trembling, long black hair raining down her back. Then somehow he was standing and she was running back to him, flinging her arms about him, and finally weeping the tears only she could weep. They had stood locked together for Merlin knows how long until slowly she pulled back, slipping gently away from him. For the briefest of moments he wanted to grab on and gather her close to him again, to hold her tightly and never let go. But he didn't. It was time to let go.
Harry remembered looking down into teary black eyes that gazed sadly back up at him. Gently, she took a step backward, a step away from him, a step out of his life for good. She gave a soft watery smile as she read the indecision in his heart, read him as only she could sometimes and tipped her head in understanding. Her smile wobbled and she whispered, "I shall miss you, Harry Potter."
Then she was gone.
The wind howled past the tower stirring crystallized flecks of snow into a frenzied dance around him. 'I shall miss you too, Cho Chang,' he whispered into the wind and meant it with all his heart.