AN
OK short mention that this is an OC story in case you weren't sure, however I will assure you that I work very hard to try and keep my characters real, so I sincerely hope Paige is not a Mary Sue. It is, to begin with, set at the start of Order of The Phoenix but as there is a new character it will be AU. Anyway if you like it or you hate it please review anyway, because I assume you all hate it if nobody reviews. Thanks to my Beta, who has spent hours correcting my mistakes, and I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and only own Paige and any other characters you do not recogniseChapter 1
Introductions always were a rather sad state of affairs
Paige's eyes moved from the house and back to the address in her hand. She was still unsure of whether she was dong the right thing. She also knew, however, that no matter how long she deliberated she would regret it if she did anything else. Still, standing on the brink of what could be the biggest mistake of her life; Paige couldn't help but be nervous. This would completely change her future and make her look very differently at her past. Then again she had been doing that for a while now.
Paige's entire life seemed riddled with mistakes. The right thing never came easily to her, and the temptation to do what was easiest had forever plagued her. Of course what was easiest generally turned out to be the worst possible decision in the long run. This certainly wasn't the easiest thing to do. The easiest thing would be to turn and walk away and never look back. To keep on running until things worked themselves out. Paige had done just that so many times before. It was the coward's way out and she knew it. She knew that her own inaction had resulted in some things she could never forgive herself for.
She had only herself to blame. If she had been stronger she would have made the right choice from the start, instead of teetering between the lines never knowing where she stood. And when she had strayed she had gone the wrong way, instead of fighting for what was right, she had given into the dark seductive power and fear of the dark. Yet now she was, for once, ready to do the right thing. So why was she afraid? She was afraid because she knew they would not accept her. She was afraid because she knew they would judge her, and they would not forgive. She was afraid because she could die. She was afraid because being willing to fight for what was right meant sacrifice on so many levels. Paige wondered what she truly had left to lose.
Her past was dark, and the future perhaps even darker, but standing up looking at the house she could see the faint light that was end of the tunnel. She could only hope that it wasn't an oncoming train. She hadn't made this choice before because she feared losing all that was dear to her, but the more she had clung to on to her precious possessions, the faster they had slipped away, leaving Paige with nothing but memories, and dreams and whispers of what could have been. There was so much regret, so much guilt, and so much longing to change what had passed.
There had been no peace in neutrality and only broken promises in the shadow. Paige knew that Albus Dumbledore was being kind to her, and offering more than any other would. For that she was thankful. There was nowhere else left that Paige could turn. Both she and Albus knew that did she not take this chance, then they would find her, and she would either join them or die. Neither option held much appeal, for her – she had been to the edges of darkness and had fled recoiling from its touch. It did not matter that Paige possessed the qualities of a Slytherin - she was not evil, and she knew she never would be. There would always be temptation, but Paige had never been naïve enough to believe she would find what she sought within the Dark Lord's clutches. His promises were hollow, his rewards empty. All he brought was pain, anguish and despair - Paige was unwilling to leave the world to such a fate.
She stood now staring at a piece of paper written by a man who had given her more than she deserved, and placed his trust in her with little proof of her loyalty. True, he had not just taken her word, but even with all the assurances others had made, he had seemed to know her mind from the start. From the first moment the sorting had placed her into Slytherin for a cunning and sharp wit, he seemed to have known it would come to this moment. It would come to the moment when Paige was unready to become a faceless Slytherin amongst a sea of evil. When instead she was prepared to stand against what her old house predominantly believed. Blood meant nothing to Paige, and in truth she believed it was no longer about that for the Dark Lord. He wanted power and used any means to get it. Under the guise of keeping wizardry pure, there was merely a will to dominate, to rule.
Paige was first to admit as a house the Slytherins were cowards. Famed neither for bravery nor strength of will, she had seen many people fall, and knew she could have been one of them. Even now Paige knew that which ever side should win she would lose. She had come across the sad fact long ago, and now merely accepted it just as she did everything else. The world was not fair, and never would be. It was not black and white and could not be judged as such. Yet for people like Paige who were so many shades of grey, there was no real place in the world. She had chosen her side, but there would be no trust or love. People would accept it because they were asked to, not because they liked it.
So once again Paige stood and wondered if she was making the right decision or if she should just turn around and walk away. If she should let the world do with itself what it would. Sighing she pulled her bag onto her shoulder, muttered a spell to set the paper alight and walked to the door. She stood for a long time looking at the old black door in trepidation. The entire house, even from the outside emanated some sort of darkness, and the Slytherin like serpent twisting itself around the door knocker did nothing to change that impression.
"No turning back." She whispered, as he hand reached up and knocked on the door gently twice.
No startling beauty Paige was first to admit she had an average appearance and was easily forgettable. As the door opened, however, a face stared out in shock at her presence. Her own grey eyes lifting to meet the other's owner, Paige quickly understood why. Paige may not have been in the forefront of events at her time at school but that did not mean nobody noticed her. She had always had a quiet solitude, the ability to be a loner and look as if that was how she liked it. It was of course merely a deception as much of Paige's seven years at Hogwarts had been. Still in seven years you tended to get to know nearly everyone, whatever house they were in.
The young woman stood in front of her was none other than the Gryffindor Nymphadora Tonks. The girl had never liked the name Nymphadora as Paige recalled. Then again who would? Paige had never questioned her parents about her own name; then again Paige had never questioned her parents in general. Paige had deliberately shut her eyes to everything that went on at home since she was a young girl. She hadn't wanted to know the truth - hadn't wanted the truth to shatter the faint illusion that she still held of a happy family. Paige had spent her entire life ignoring what was in front of her eyes, and the moment she had decided she no longer wished to be blind was the moment she had released an unknown burden of guilt, of fear and of regret.
Tonks had been a few years below Paige at school, and Paige knew little of her now except that she had gone into auror training and was, apparently, a member of the Order of The Phoenix. As a Slytherin Paige had, of course, avoided contact with Gryffindors, simply because that was what was expected. She may not have been popular, but no one wanted to be completely isolated from all her house mates. Everyone seemed to think that being in Slytherin made you evil too, that it meant that all your beliefs were exactly the same as all your housemates. Obviously it didn't work that way. Still everything was simple for Gryffindors. There was no in between, everything was black and white, and if you weren't with them then you were against them.
"Hi Tonks." Paige said brightly knowing it would put the girl off balance. Granted she had made her decision not to become a Death Eater, but the hat had still had valid reasons in putting her in Slytherin. She may not be Death Eater material but she was certainly no Gryffindor. Tonks looked flabbergasted as Paige pushed her way past and into the gloom behind her.
"You can't…..You shouldn't……" She spluttered.
"Oh don't worry I have an invitation." Remembering she had burnt the paper so it wasn't found; she frowned before smiling again. "Well I did."
Paige took a moment to take in her surroundings. The hallway was dark and gloomy with only a little light being given off from candles. Pictures hung on the walls all frowning and silently screaming things Paige couldn't hear. Some curtains were drawn across one picture and the faint sound of snoring could be heard. Paige involuntarily shivered as her eyes passed over the hallway, it reminded her far too much of home. She wondered why this was the place the Order had chosen for their headquarters. It seemed to be the very epitome of what they were fighting against. Then again who was she to question? They probably had their reasons.
She turned back to Tonks, whom it seemed was still having difficulty forming a sentence.
"So where's the meeting then?" She looked down at her watch "I'm not late so it can't have started." She said, once again with a smile on her face. The smile was a façade but often a helpful one. She had often heard the saying 'smile it makes people wonder what you've done wrong' and agreed with it wholeheartedly. Tonks it seemed had finally pulled herself together.
"It hasn't started yet." Tonks said, "But what are you doing here Callaghan?" Tonks virtually spat her name, and Paige tried hard not to wince. The name Callaghan was pretty much synonymous with shady dealings. They were acknowledged as dark wizards but not powerful enough to be of any real importance to the Death Eaters. To be honest Paige found it very hard to come up with something good about her family. They hadn't really wanted children but had had them out of duty, and it seemed everyone hated each other. Inter-family squabbles and, in the past, deadly duels had become commonplace. No one was loyal to anyone else, you made a name by fighting your way to the top and killing anyone who got in your way. Of course you had to be more subtle nowadays. Everything was politics. Paige was glad to have escaped when she could.
"I already told you I was invited." Paige said but looking up at Tonks she decided to drop the façade. The smile faded and her eyes grew darker, before she explained. "It's complicated, but trust me I'm on your side, and Dumbledore told me to come. I wouldn't be able to have even found the place otherwise would I?" Paige said her voice strangely even.
"No I suppose not, but I don't trust you Callaghan." Tonks said narrowing her eyes. She walked off before Paige had a chance to reply. "It's Paige." She mumbled anyway. Standing in the corridor Paige was glad she had at least anticipated the animosity - it made it less painful. Being a Slytherin came at a higher cost than many imagined; but she had only herself to blame.
Paige was startled form her musings by raised voices down the corridor.
"But mum……" A young female voice whined.
"No Ginny, and that's final." A stern rather motherly voice said in reply. The door opened flooding the corridor with more light and in the doorway stood two redheads - A young girl of about 14, and an older woman who must have been her mother. The girl who gave her mother a curious look but was met with a glare, gave Paige a wave before stomping upstairs. The woman now turned her attention to Paige, and her eyes grew slightly cold as she obviously recognised who Paige was. No doubt Tonks had given them forewarning that an evil Slytherin was on the way.
"You must be Paige." The woman said. "I'm Molly Weasley. If you come this way we're just waiting for Dumbledore."
Paige picked up her bag, followed the woman into the room and charmed the door behind her. Her eyes took in the room, which once again showed the grandeur but also the darkness of the some previous occupants of the house. Her eyes then fell on the members already assembled in the room. Dumbledore had told her some of what to expect once she had sworn her service and secrecy. There were a few she recognised - well she would have to have been living under a rock for the past few years not to. There were some redheads who were obviously Weasleys, but along with them were a couple of aurors Paige knew worked for the ministry. The most notable members, however, were both the professors McGonagall and Snape along with the convicted murderer Sirius Black.
It was a good job Paige had spent her entire life ignoring things she knew she wasn't supposed to see; it allowed her to hide her shock. She knew Dumbledore had attested to Sirius's innocence but she had never expected to see him here. Eyes in the room slowly turned to her, a few narrowed in distrust, while she saw Professor Snape raise an eyebrow. It was also lucky that Dumbledore had warned her of Snape's part in the plans - well some of it. The damn twinkle in his eye as she had come to him for his help, had shown her that he knew all along; but she admired his confidence anyway.
Paige was unsure as to how she was expected to react. It was an unwelcome feeling, she had spent a long time adhering to the rules of the society in which she existed, and she had chosen to be thrust into one in which she was unaccustomed. So instead she merely waited all eyes on her, a sort of stalemate and she wondered who would be the first to break. It seemed Sirius Black's rather brash attitude had not changed as he was first to speak.
"Who the hell is she?" He demanded rather loudly. Before Paige could answer him Tonks beat her to it.
"Paige Callaghan." She said. Sirius's eyes instantly narrowed. The Callaghans, as well as being renowned for basically being a bad bunch of wizards, were also famous for being Slytherins and he seemed to get the connection.
"What's a Slytherin doing here?" He demanded once again.
"I believe there was already a Slytherin here before I arrived." Paige said quietly, her eyes meeting Sirius's. Sirius seemed to ignore her statement and angrily look around the room.
"What is she doing in my house?" He asked angrily.
"I am sure Miss Callaghan has a valid reason for being here." Snape put in silkily.
"You'd think he would have at least warned them." Paige muttered under her breath.
"I apologise for my oversight Paige, perhaps you can forgive both Sirius and I for our discourtesy." A bright voice said from the other side of the room. Paige turned her eyes meeting the sparkling blue of Albus Dumbledore. Paige merely nodded dumbly unable to think of what to say. "Paige I would like you to meet the other members of the Order of the Phoenix." Dumbledore told her kindly.
"Other?" Questioned one of the redheads his long hair pulled back into a ponytail and what appeared to be a fang on an earring in his ear.
"Ah yes. Paige is our newest member." Dumbledore said, smiling again.
The announcement was met with a stunned silence. It was awkward and uncomfortable as once again everyone's eyes turned to Paige, a few in curiosity but most in distrust and distaste. Of course she had been expecting it but the full impact of the decision she had made now finally sunk in. She had allied herself with a group of people most of whom would rather die than work with her. Ok, perhaps that was a bit of an exaggeration, but Gryffindor pride was a big obstacle.
"Why?" A voice Paige did not recognise asked. Paige frowned at the question; it was so ambiguous, and had so many answers. There was an accumulation of reasons why she was here and they could not be explained in mere moments. Paige was having trouble coming to terms with some of them herself, and she certainly was not ready to tell anyone else her reasoning.
"I believe I will leave that up to Paige to explain as she sees fit. Suffice it to say she has agreed to join us and help in anyway she can. Now shall we begin the meeting?" Dumbledore's words carried weight with all in the room. Everyone took seats around a large table within the room, and Dumbledore sat at the head. Paige found herself between Professor Snape and one of the Weasleys. She listened intently to the reports and slowly fitted pieces together of what was going on.
The conversation turned to the guard duty of Harry Potter, and there were some arguments mostly headed by Sirius about when they were going to fetch him. As it seemed the same arguments became repeated again Paige phased out of the conversation. As she had said; she would have had to have been living under a rock to not know about what was going on. Despite the ministry's denial of the matter Paige knew that the Dark Lord had returned and the times of relative peace were diminishing. It was that, not to mention some other delicate matters, which had driven her from her position of neutrality and brought her here.
She phased back in as the group seemed to have come to some sort of conclusion.
"So we're agreed, we'll leave it a few more weeks, before we review the situation." A man who appeared to be Molly's husband said. Sirius was wearing a deep frown and still did not seem to agree with the decision.
"You know he's safest there Sirius." A man put in his voice passive and his eyes a gentle amber. Sirius merely nodded his dark grey eyes still showing his disagreement.
"Now we have one last matter to discuss." Dumbledore said his blue eyes turning once again to Paige. "Over the summer Paige will need somewhere to stay."
There was a growl from Alastor Moody, whose distrust of everyone was more than acute with Paige. "I do not believe it will be safe for you to return home." Dumbledore said. Paige scoffed she had not been home in years, and you could hardly call it home.
"I have no home." She said darkly.
"Be that as it may…" Continued Dumbledore "I think it best if you take up residence here. Sirius has more than enough space." His suggestion was met with uproar mainly from Sirius but also from several other people. Paige tried to sink further into her seat fighting hard to become part of the upholstery.
"Really Albus…Do you think it's safe?" Molly put in.
"I will not have her staying in my house." Sirius said.
"Surely she can go somewhere else." Tonks agreed.
"I thank you for the thought Albus and for your continued care on my behalf but I believe I would be about as welcome as the plague." Paige said fighting hard to hold onto her dignity.
"Nonsense. Molly, it is perfectly safe, Sirius I would appreciate it if you kept your prejudices in check, and yes Tonks perhaps she could go somewhere else, but if we would like to keep Miss Callaghan alive and in one piece then this is the best option." Dumbledore said his voice holding a tone of finality. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with the minister." He said his voice betraying slightly his distaste of the task. He stood up, gave them all a wave, looked at Paige - a slight twinkle in his eye - and disappeared with a pop. Paige wondered whether it would have been prudent to mention to Dumbledore that half the people in this room would rather she wasn't in one piece, but it was a little late now. She knew at least that they had enough respect in Dumbledore to follow his orders even if they didn't like them.
Chatter slowly began to build again in the room, discussion of order and non order business. Paige still felt and noticed the glances from many in the room, and knew that most of them were in dislike. It was obvious Dumbledore had a plan and she would have to trust his judgement, her curiosity wondered what on earth he could want her there for.
"I would greatly like to know, what is it Miss Callaghan that drove you here into the arms of people your house and your family so greatly detest." A voice murmured from her left. She looked over and met the black eyes of Professor Snape. He had only just become a teacher when she had joined the school; and became head of the house shortly afterwards, but there had always been something about him that Paige could never decipher. Then again when she had been at school it had been her life ambition to blend into the wallpaper and to just be like everyone else. To think and act like they did. She had even begun to fool herself.
"And as I am sure you will find out there were a great number of matters, some of which are somewhat delicate and I would rather not discuss them in a room where half the people would not be averse to my dismemberment." She whispered back, her eyes still cautiously watching the other occupants.
"I would assume Miss Callaghan you would be used to it." Snape replied. Paige figured that he was obviously well aware of the situation within the Callaghan household.
"True, but generally most are not quite so open with their opinion." Page said.
"For valid reasons one would assume." Snape answered.
"As you and I are both aware voicing your opinion in such a manner is generally the occupation for those with a rather short life expectancy, or a death wish" Paige said "Obviously here it is not the case."
"I am sure you will get used to it Miss Callaghan, after all it seems you will be spending a lot of time here." Snape replied. "And perhaps when the time is right you could enlighten me as to the events which led to such an event."
"Yes I am sure that I could. By the way I would appreciate if you called me Paige." Paige noticed the raised eyebrow, and she decided to clarify the situation "It is not that I am trying to be overly familiar in any way, but I would rather not be associated too heavily with my family at the moment."
Snape's eyes seemed to flash with understanding as he nodded and stood, his black robes swishing around him.
"If you would excuse me Miss…….Paige. I have some business to attend to, however rest assured when I return we will find some opportunity to discuss your rather unexpected circumstances." He said then walked away.
"How kind." Paige muttered under her breath, once he had gone.
It had been a long time since Paige had held a conversation which held so many underlying meanings and things left unsaid. Snape obviously knew more than he let on, and Paige's obstinate will to avoid the subject only seemed to make him more determined to get to the bottom of things. She was no longer a student but that did not make the man any less intimidating. Paige had gone out of her way to avoid attention in school, but by doing that she had often gained it anyway. Her biggest problem was that she was not known for anything, people seemed to think of her as mysterious. It was not something Paige had intentionally worked at, but she had never really lost the reputation. She had avoided confrontation on nearly all fronts, because she knew that in most cases she could not win. Once again this seemed to increase people's belief that Paige was hiding things. Of course everyone has secrets, but to have a reputation for it, meant everyone worked harder to find out about her.
Paige was still monumentally uncomfortable with the situation. It was perfectly clear that she was unwelcome here, and Paige had not quite enough of a stubborn nature to be insisting on staying somewhere where she was not welcome. She understood why Dumbledore had said it would be best; and had no particular reason to shorten her life span; but she wasn't sure staying here was the best option. Luckily Paige's ability to close her eyes to things she did not want to see came in handy on this occasion, it meant she could dispel the worried and offended thoughts from her mind and concentrate on the problems at hand.
It seemed the meeting had finally properly ending as a lot of people began to head out. She did not move from her seat. Snape had departed and the redhead sat to her right had left long ago, so Paige found herself sat on her own once more. She was unsure once again as to exactly what she should do. If Sirius Black had accepted Dumbledore's word then she would hope he would have the courtesy to allow her a room. Of course his animosity towards was hardly well veiled, and she couldn't really rely on his manners.
Although the room had emptied it seemed to fill once again quite quickly as a number of younger redheads walked in laughing and joking followed by a young girl with bushy hair and the amber eyed man who had calmed Sirius before. They looked to be in conversation yet as they walked through both lifted their eyes to look at Paige. She was intelligent enough to realise their conversation had obviously been involving her to some degree. Luckily however she detected no great deal of hatred from the two, instead there seemed to be merely suspicion and wariness. That was something she was more used to handling. No one trusted the Callaghan family. Even other family members were lucky to confide in one another.
"Miss Callaghan?" The young woman asked shyly as she made her way over. Paige once again fought the wince.
"Paige." She corrected.
"Paige." The girl corrected herself "Sirius has… erm… asked… that we show you your room and anything else you may need to know about the house."
Paige caught the hesitation at the word 'asked' and knew it was obvious what ever Sirius had said it was nowhere near as polite as the girl in front of her had put it.
"That's very kind." Paige said picking up her bag and standing up. She wanted to try not to make everyone here her enemy, and at least those before her were making an effort to be nice - even if they didn't really want to. It was only after standing up that she realised many of the others in the room had turned to face her. Inquisitive faces of several red heads were looking at her with interest.
"I'm Hermione by the way. Hermione Granger." The young woman told her, and Paige realising that for once this was probably a time to be polite and try and make a good impression, replied swiftly.
"It's nice to meet you." The young woman actually looked generally surprised. Then again Paige had no reason to expect anything other than mistrust from these people. Prejudices were ingrained deeply within every generation. Perhaps too deep.
Hermione led her up the stairs of the dark and grim house trying to make polite conversation. Paige replied but her heart was not really in it, her mind whirling with the ramifications of the move she had made. She had no doubt that when people found out that Paige Callaghan was no longer a recognised member of the Callaghan family, there would be a huge stir among the pureblood circles. Paige had known it was coming; her lack of interest in family affairs and then the unfortunate incident a few months ago that had ultimately led her here, were clear indicators of her future.
It was not that Paige missed her family, or could claim being greatly upset by their disowning of her. It was more the huge change that it inevitably made, Paige had spent most of her life trying to fit in, and now she was an outcast. It should not have been a surprising event, and she had known it was coming from the moment she had stepped from the Hogwarts grounds in her seventh year and gone against her family's wishes. They had been so proud. Even in her mind Paige felt disgusted. They had been so proud that Paige Callaghan the rather forgotten daughter of the ranks had been recognised by The Dark Lord. She knew now that had she taken the carriage that day as was planned, she would probably amongst them now, her heart and soul crying out against all that she was forced to do.
You can look back on your past, and see those moments. Those moments at the time that don't seem so important, yet now, now in the present you realise have changed the course of your entire life forever. There were so many mistakes in Paige's life. So many times when she had reached those moments and made the choice that looked easiest, made the choice that seemed to save her the most pain. In the long run, though, all those choices had gone astray. Perhaps this would be the same, but far from the easy decision Paige realised that even if it did go wrong, she would have the knowledge that for once she had at least tried.
Realising that Hermione was entering a room on the left Paige followed. She made no sound as they entered the sparsely furnished and barely decorated room, although Hermione seemed a little shocked. She turned to Paige, her eyes wide.
"Oh I'm sure I've made a mistake Sirius must have meant another room." Paige studied the girl in front of her. She deduced that the girl was neither naïve nor stupid, she merely had a hard time seeing Sirius Black - someone she had obviously come to admire - as a highly prejudiced and hypocritical man. Paige knew just as Hermione did, that Sirius had come from a long line of Slytherins and darker wizards, much higher in pureblood society than the Callaghans would ever be. Then again the Callaghans were all viewed as uncivil traitorous crooks; for valid reasons of course. Yet Sirius could still not look beyond the fact that Paige had been in Slytherin.
"I'm sure it will be fine." Paige said.
"Oh no……I'm sure we can find something a bit more….." Hermione looked round the room again and Paige got her meaning. Aside from a bed and wardrobe there was no furniture. The floor was bare - wood splinters were visible to the eye. The room had no windows and was painted with a chipped off grey black paint. There were no adornments in the entire room - there was pretty much nothing of anything.
"Look, I'll be straight with you. You and I both know why Sirius directed you to this room; I don't want to cause any more trouble by bringing it up. It was extremely hospitable of him to not hex me on the spot as soon as Dumbledore left and leave me as prey to the Death Eaters. So under the circumstances I'm going to count my blessings. It's nice that I'm not the epitome of all evil to all the members of this house, but don't take any trouble on my account. It's not worth it."
Hermione looked a little shocked at Paige's outburst. Aside from slightly disturbing any impressions the girl had already obviously gathered about Paige; she realised it wasn't exactly the response the girl was expecting. Hermione then nodded and fled the room. Paige sighed and sat down on the bed, the mattress didn't budge as she sat upon it, and she figured it could have quite easily been lying there unused for centuries. There were rooms within the Callaghan household that went unused, though probably less than here. Still the house had been passed down for generations and even extended family members seemed to live there. It was an odd system - one filled with hierarchical pride and a lot of backstabbing. Changing into some sleep wear and wincing as bare feet caught a splinter in the floor. Paige knew that however safe she did not really want to stay here for long.
Lying back on the bed, Paige didn't even bother to shift the covers instead she wrapped herself in her cloak. She had no doubt that the possibly antique quilt would fall apart. Either that or be infested with some sort of mould, or, knowing the magical household, some sort of magic. Without heating she knew she would be cold, so grabbing her wand she muttered a brief charm to keep herself warm and tried hard to go to sleep, without thinking about things of the future.
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