(Before we begin I would just like to give you a bit of background info. The stuff with the Volturi in Breaking Dawn didn't happen, because lets face it that was the gayest part. Bella can use her shield just as good as she did then though. So the Volturi don't know about Renesmee and the Cullen's are still worried about her growing so fast. But they decided not to worry about it anymore and just enjoy their time with her. Also they left Forks and are now in Jeanau, Alaska. Sorry it all starts out pretty fast but that's fine. By the way the story is being told from Edwards's point of view because he is the best character By the way i dont really care if you dont like this story, i worte it for myself because i like to write and I have alot of ideas in my head about this stroy. If you like this story GREAT. Go ahead and review if you want.

This was so ridiculous.

It seemed so silly to me to be wasting time here. Lately I had been growing quite tired of this human farce. As I thought I had no idea why I was suddenly sick of pretending. Then I heard Bella quietly sigh. My eyes instantly flickered to her. Her face was blank and her eyes were out of focus. Then I had it. Before Bella I had no reason to do anything. I could waste my time here because I really had no other way to be spending it. Now that I had her and Ness school seemed like more of a chore and less of a distraction. That's how I used to think of it. A distraction from what we are, or something to pass the time at least. I smiled.

The bell rang just as I was reaching to touch her face. Though I was relieved to finally get out of this Spanish class, I was also annoyed that it had ruined my moment. Emmett, Bella and I stood sinuously. Emmet exaggerated his boredom by stretching and letting out a loud yawn/groan/growl. He chuckled after his charade was finished and I smiled, only slightly amused by it. I turned to take Bella's hand. That was when I noticed that she hadn't stayed to watch Emmett's joke. He must have noticed my irritation that she had already left.

"God Edward pick more polite wife next time." I just raised my eyebrows at him.

We walked the cafeteria. As soon as we entered we caught the golden eyes of our family. We weren't really that hard to miss. Alice smiled at me from across the cafeteria.

Is she alright? She thought also throwing in a picture of Bella's glassy stare, though I didn't really need the confirmation. I lifted my shoulders slightly, trying to make it look like a heavy sigh when it was really a shrug.

She's been pretty down since the other day, huh? She thought again, thinking about the events of 3 days ago.

. . .

We had had the day off due to good weather. We had been lying together on the couch watching a movie. Though watching isn't really what I would call it. I was looking at her and playing with her hair while she laid on my chest with her eyes closed and a slight smile on her lips.

"What are you thinking" I asked. I knew had asked her that a million times. But her thoughts were never boring to me. Everything she did was fascinating. She never seemed to mind my curiosity. She had only smiled wider.

"I'm concentrating" She had said. I was once again instantly fascinated and had to know what she meant.

"On what?" I asked intently.

"I am practicing" I felt my eyebrows unconsciously lower in confusion, but she continued. "I am seeing how far I can stretch my shield, I have half of Seattle so far. Would you like to see?"

I nodded and felt my eyebrows lift in excitement as I rested my chin on her head and closed my eyes. I felt her laugh once at my enthusiasm before she lifted her arm over her head and rest her hand against my cheek. I leaned into her palm and almost instantly it seemed my mind was filled with a million lights, some dull, some bright and glorious, but all were beautiful. I smiled as more lights filled my mind and hers.

Just then Jacob came crashing through the door. All the beautiful lights vanished and Bella sighed. I looked into Jacobs thoughts to see what he wanted but he was focusing really hard on Bella's face so he must have not wanted me to know. But from the focus of his attention I could tell that he needed to talk to Bella. So I heaved a sigh as he took her arm and pulled her off the couch.

"Need to talk" He'd said simply. I nodded vaguely.

Without waiting for her reply he pulled her out the door. He slammed the glass door shut behind them and it trembled with the force. I shook my head. Jacob and I hadn't really ever been the best of friends. I had thought we were on better terms. I found myself really wanting to know what made him act so rudely. But I decided to let it go, and soon found myself imagining those amazing lights again.

. . .

She had returned about four hours later, without Jacob, and ever since then she has seemed really distant. She had retaken her spot on my chest and had barely said two words to me. Now that I really thought about it I hadn't spoken to her at all today. Not a word. I desperately wanted to ask her what was the matter. What had Jacob said? Why was he so upset?

Edward? Alice again. I realized I hadn't responded. So I nodded minutely. That was when I realized that everyone's thoughts were about Bella. Rosalie cared a little but she was more curious than anything. She didn't like to be left out. The rest of us were all concerned. She looked at the table for a few minutes and the rest of us looked at her. I could tell that everyone wanted to say something, but no one could think of the words to say. Alice didn't like her silence so she decided instead of trying to get her to tell everyone what had her down she settled with just getting her to talk. Good luck with that.

"Bella?" She asked leaning forward on the table a bit. Bella's black eyes flickered up to her instantly. Mental reminder: We should hunt tonight.

"Yes?" She said. Her voice almost seemed surprised. I guess she hadn't been paying to much attention. That was probably why she hadn't said anything about us gawking at her.

"You wanna come see a movie with me tonight? I wanna take my Porsche for a spin, I'm afraid it might start to collect dust stuck in that garage."

"Sure." Bella breathed and went back to looking at the table.

Emmett caved.

"Okay I give. What happened the other day? Why are you so depressed and what did Jacob say?"

"Wow Emmett, way to be subtle about it." Rosalie said in a low voice almost as if she thought that Bella couldn't hear.

Emmett acted as if he hadn't heard and just looked at Bella with raging curiosity. I would have gotten mad but I really wanted to know too, so I settled for a dirty look. He returned it.

"Well…" Bella started, everyone unconsciously leaned closer into our little circle. She stopped. Almost as if she was building up anticipation and suspense. "I…can't tell you." She finished.

"Damn" Emmett said. "Sworn to secrecy are you"

"I'm afraid so." Bella said with a bit of a sarcastic smirk. I smiled. She was not totally back to herself but at least she was a few steps above being catatonic.

The rest of the day passed without incident. It was a long and slow afternoon. Partly because of the completely monotonous classes and partly because Bella and I shared no classes this afternoon.

Eventually my final bell rang. I half ran out of my class, eager to go home and put as many miles as I could between this school and myself. I was the first to the car followed by Emmett and Rosalie, then Alice. We all sat quietly. Everyone's thoughts were relieved. Glad to be out of school. We all sat quietly not saying much. Eventually Jasper and Bella walked out of the school building. Jasper kept shooting Bella wary glances.

I hope she doesn't fall. He thought to himself. Her stride faltered for a quick second. Jasper put his hands out as if he really thought she was going to fall. I jumped out of my car and started walking toward them. As I was walking I sifted through jaspers thoughts. Bella had been sitting beside him perfectly quiet when she had started to tremble. It wasn't just any shake it was almost like she was convulsing. My eyes bulged as I looked at Bella. Her eyes were on the ground. If I wouldn't have caught her I am almost certain she would have full on ran into me. She looked a little shocked when I grabbed her shoulders. Her eyes came off the ground and settled on my own. After we stopped Jasper kept walking toward the car.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, hoping desperately that the next words out of her mouth wouldn't be "nothing I'm fine."

"Nothing." She replied. I guess it was too much to hope for.

"I saw what the same thing that Jasper did, so don't tell me it's nothing." Her eyes strayed away from me and toward all the students who were leaving school for the day. Finally she looked back to our family in the car, Alice in particular. Alice nodded and climbed into the drivers' seat. Before they could pull out Bella took my hand and headed towards the trees. We ran silently for a few short minutes. My eyes never left her. I was still worried she was going to fall or something. I kept pace with her easily. We stopped pretty quickly after that. Bella took a seat on a nearby fallen tree; I sat with her and put my arm around her tight shoulders. I could tell she was stressed about something, that plus her glassy stare for the last couple of days combined with what Jasper saw almost had me in a frenzy of panic.

"I promised I wouldn't tell. But this is getting to be too much." Bella said. I stayed silent waiting for her to tell me. She took a deep breath and continued.

"Jacob was having trouble phasing. He went to Sam and the elders first and told them. They told him he should take it easy for a while and maybe it was his time to retire from this." Her eyes cut to me. "You know as well as well as I do that he would never do that. So he decided he needed some kind of medicine. But he didn't know where to get anything like that so came to me and asked if I could help him. So we talked for a while and went over everything before I gave him one of the ancient books I got from Aro." (he had sent us several things, along with those books, in hopes that we would still join him. Needless to say Bella, Alice and I had all politely declined, yet again.) "So he went through it and found that…thing. He came to me freaking out because he kept having these awful hallucinations. I took the medicine stuff from him and told him to go home and not to take it anymore. But…" She hesitated.

"But now you're seeing those things too." She looked at me with apologetic eyes. "Why would you take that stuff? What would you need more strength for?" I asked her.

"I didn't drink it." She said simply.

"Then what do you…?"

"That stuff, its very powerful. The things you see…it's unlike anything you have ever heard of. So I am trying to block him from it until he can come down. But it's…difficult. If I shield him, his mind becomes apart of me. I see and feel what he is seeing and feeling."

"I didn't know it was like that." I said softly. I was mortified. I thought about all the times she used her shield against an attack. She felt what we were supposed to. I felt my body go cold.

"It usually isn't. If I block you its nothing too serious I feel it, but its not painful. But this stuff is like black magic, it has the strongest effects I have ever seen. Every attack that he has, I have it too."

"Then stop blocking for him. He did it, he can deal with it." I said fiercely, we had never been friends and it was his fault she was feeling this way.

"I can't." She said, barely audible, even to my ears. I looked at her with what I'm sure told her what my opinion on that was.

"If I don't do it, he might have a heart attack or something." She paused. I got the feeling that there was more to this. "And he is so scared he keeps trying to kill himself." She said quietly. I pulled her closer. She rested her head on my chest.

"What do I do?" I asked desperately. I didn't like that she was feeling this way. She sighed.

"I don't know. I just hope it stops soon." She said. We sat there for a little while longer before going home.

The next few days were better. I could tell Bella felt better now that I knew. We had decided not to tell anyone else in our family. So we just let them think we had a lot on our minds, it wasn't entirely a lie. Bella didn't seem to have that glassy stare anymore. I would see it every once in a while, and when I did I would just hold her closer, tell her she was fine, tell her I was there, anything to help calm her down. I never asked her about what kind of things she was seeing. I was sure I didn't want to know.

It was the weekend. Emmett was dead bored. He kept complaining about how he missed playing baseball in the Ranier field, complaining about the sun, anything he could find to complain about he did. Bella had been in the kitchen talking to Carlise about something or other. Carlisle came into the room and asked Emmett if he would like to play chess or something. They did and I continued playing my piano quietly to myself.

Then someone sucked in a ragged breath. We all turned to realize that it was Bella.

I was the first to find words.

"Love?" I called .She didn't acknowledge me. Not the slightest movement, I wasn't even sure I could hear her breathing, nothing. I instantly panicked.

Whenever she had one of these attacks she would either stare at something or she would come to sit with me and look at my face to try to distract herself. She had never reacted this way. I raced to the kitchen; I could tell my family was watching me. I ran in and she was huddled on the ground, with her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth.

I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm here. It's not real." I kept saying.

"Make…it…stop." She whispered, and then she looked at me with the most frightened eyes. The only time I had seen her look at me like that was when Renesmee was being born. It made me feel sick, helpless.

Yaaay. I did it. So tell me what you think…Any questions ask me. STAT.

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