Snapshots of Charlie

by firechild

Rated K

Warning: Daddy-sap!

Disclaimer: I own... a brand-new bottle of rolaids! And... yep, that's about it!

A/N: This is my response to a challenge I set for myself (I posed the challenge to everyone else about the time I posted the first entry;) the challenge was to write a drabble/snapshot for either each episode of a show or each year of a character's life. Since this was a challenge to myself, I chose a character I key into less than others--Charlie.

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9-5-75 9:38PM

You look like your mother.

Okay, so it kind of looks like you may have gotten my jaw and maybe my nose (sorry, baby) and okay, so you're only just shy of six hours old, so you've got years to show us who you are and who you favor, but... well, you do--you look like your mother.

It's the eyes. I've stood here in this hospital room, gazing at you for most of the past hour, trying to bond (or whatever they're calling it these days) and to let your mom get some sleep, and I finally figured it out. It's definitely the eyes.

Not so much the color right now, though that'll probably change--your brother's eyes changed colors three times that first year; his eyes were how he got his middle name--but the shape of your eyes, and how they're so huge like they're designed to take in everything, and the... the kind of depth they have. Donny's eyes have one kind of depth, yours and your mother's have another.

See, this wonderful woman, who brought you into this world and brought light into mine, has this way of looking at the world like it all boils down to one element, one rhythm, and when she finds it, when she gets inside that rhythm, the rest of the world just seems to make sense. I don't know if you'll think about it just the same way she does, but I think that when you start to experience life, you'll find some rhythm of your own, whatever form it may take--because you have her eyes.

We're going to name you Charles Edward--after her two uncles who always supported whatever she tried to do and who helped her learn not to be afraid of the way she thought. They've been gone less than a year, taken in a horrible rockslide in the mountains, and losing them hit her hard, but in a way I think you saved her, gave her some new joy to focus on, and looking at you now, I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy, but I'm starting to think I see those two great men in you, like you're their way of making sure that she will never have to face the world without them. Oh, she doesn't do music anymore like she did once--Charles and Edward were always disappointed about that--but I can tell that she still thinks her way into her rhythm, and it still works for her. You'll be good to her, my son, you'll be good for her; handle her with care and respect.

You're looking at me now, with those eyes; I know that you can't really see me yet, but you know I'm here and I'm hoping that you know how glad I am that you're here. You were a little bit of a surprise, I'll give you that--we thought that your brother was it, that we weren't going to be able to have any more kids, but here you are, fit as a fiddle by the looks of you. Sitting here in this room, being close to you and your mother in a way I wasn't allowed to be when your brother was born, I see you looking at me as though you see me, as though you see through me, and I realize that this, right here, this is our moment, our time. I'm your father, and even though it seems like that doesn't mean anything anymore to most people, it does to me--it means that you are mine, to take care of, to guard, to teach. I am your father, I am yours to count on. And I swear to you, my sweet little boy, that I will do everything within my power to keep you safe and to help you grow and succeed. I love you, little one, and there is no doubt in my mind that you are something special and that you will make a difference in this world.

So I'm writing this for you now--because somehow it's easier to write now than to say later--so that years from now, when you're old enough to read this (and be thoroughly embarrassed by it,) you can open the book your mom started for you and you can see this note and know that whenever you feel frightened, whenever you start to lose your rhythm, I will be right here, and you can always come back to me and I will always help you find your way again--I will always be your father, your protector, your ally, your anchor. Wherever I am, you will always have a home.

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