TOW THE MEAN BLONDE CHICK
Monica, Rachel and Joey are at the coffee house conversating as usual, when a hot blonde chick walks in the coffee house. Rachel, Monica and Joey saw her coming in like she owned the place. Her name was Brittney.
Britney: "um excuse me" she said in a very snobbish way. Gunther turned around immediately like a master calling its servant.
Gunther: "I'm sorry can I help you?"
Britney: "no, you can not help me; you're doing this because it's your job pal. So don't even think about making this about me. The question is can I help you?" she said staring into his eyes like she was about to attack him being very sarcastic with him just saying "can I help you."
Gunther: "………………….." Complete silence was in Gunther's head because he had no idea what just happened. Monica and Rachel sat on the couch glancing at one another due to the fact this woman was overly psychotic
Brittney: "just get me a coffee, black, no sugar or milk" as she reaches in her purse, pulls the money out and slams it on the counter. "Now this is help" she said grabbing her coffee and walking towards Joey, Rachel and Monica and the first person she sat next to was Rachel.
Britney: "I don't want to be rude" yea right! Rachel thought looking at Monica and Joey. "Can you move down over there I hate being bunched up like this." She said pointing to the opposite end of the couch
Rachel: "oh your fine" clearly Rachel was there first but, the woman refused to back down.
Brittney: "oh I KNOW I'm fine, but you aren't, I asked you, can you move down there because I don't like being smushed" she said being sarcastic again. So Rachel thought about it.
Rachel: "so let me get this straight, I was sitting on this couch before you got in, you sat RIGHT next to me, and you're telling me that…I have to move to the other end of this couch?"
Brittney: "yea that's right"
Rachel: "ok" she said, simply put moving to the other side of the couch, so now, it's this big gap in between the two of them on the couch. Suddenly Phoebe walks in and sits right in between both of them.
Phoebe: "ah you will never believe what happened today" she said taking off her coat. The woman grabbed her purse completely frustrated ready to get out of there.
Britney: "you know what. This is the last time I'm coming back to this horrible coffee house" she said standing up. "I mean really what kind of name is Central Perk anyway" she said leaving.
Phoebe:" IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU TO!" She screamed right before the woman walked out the door "such a sweet woman"
Monica: "so what were you going to tell us?
Phoebe: oh right, well this woman bumped into me on the street and she gave me SEVEN DOLLARS! She screamed with excitement. The rest of the gang wants to know what the excitement is about.
Monica:" and that's important...Why?" She said not really understanding.
Phoebe: "because, my psychic told me that I would bump into a person…and something else about loose change, I put two and two together and I get this. Talk about real coincidences huh" phoebe said smiling and everyone agreeing with her because phoebe will always be phoebe no matter what she says out her mouth.
-SCENE 2 MONICAS APRTMENT-
Chandler is sitting on the couch with Monica, Ross and Rachel is sitting in the kitchen while Joey is sitting on the small white couch. Rachel blurts out a significant question.
Rachel: "can I ask a question?" she said pinching her nails together
Everyone: "sure "chandler and Monica turn around on the couch facing Rachel to be sure their listening, she has joeys attention as well as Ross.
Rachel: "do my boobs look bigger?" typical question but very caught off guard to the rest. Joey obviously being the first one, gets up out the small white chair walks over to Rachel looks very closely and says.
Joey: "they look fine to me" he said walking back over to the chair
Monica: "why ask?"
Rachel: "I don't know, I guess milk has pretty much been my beverage these days" she said looking at her boobs.
Joey: "you know rach…"
Rachel:" yea"
Joey:"if you really want" he began smiling. "I can take a closer lo-
Rachel: "ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH JOEY!" All of a sudden phoebe walks in the door with a woman.
Phoebe: "HEY EVERYBODY! Look who I have with me. Surprising to everyone except chandler it was Brittney the hot mean blonde woman. She waves her hand up
Brittney: "hello everybody" Rachel leans over and whispers to Ross
Rachel: (whisper)" I can't believe Phoebe bought that bimbo here" everything Rachel just said went one ear and right out the other. Ross had a look like he was completely in love with this woman already. His eyes were gazed upon her beauty; he couldn't believe his eyes (meanwhile on the other side of the room.) chandler is pretty much in the same trance as Ross gazing at her beautiful blue eyes and her amazing boobs that stood out the most but chandler forgot one thing…
Monica: "you see something you like chandler" chandler immediately knocked out the trace from Monica's voice. And he turns and looks at her.
Chandler: "oh- w- well I was just looking at that- that incredible door knob we have behind Phoebe don't you just love how well it stands out"
Monica: "yea they stand out alright… right through her shirt they stand out" she said disgusted.
Phoebe: "Brittney these are my friends, Ross, chandler, Monica and Rachel" As Brittney looks at Rachel looking at her with this jealous look of hate. "Can I offer you a seat?" pheobe said.
Rachel: "it's funny that you mentioned a seat "she said with a small chuckle. "Because it just so happens to be 2 people sitting on that couch" Rachel said directly to her. The woman turned around
Brittney: "And"
Rachel: "and… when were in the coffee house together you said "you hated being smushed", so what's up with that.
Brittney: "I'm sorry I don't know what you're taking about" as she completely forgets her and Rachel were even talking." This is a nice apartment Monica." She said looking around while on the couch.
Monica: "thank you" Monica said in a very cocky way" clearly Rachel doesn't like to be ignored so she jumped out her chair and went up to her.
Rachel: "now you wait one second missy" she said with a stronger tone to her voice but with more attitude. "You embarrassed me today because you said you hated being smushed, now I want an apology right now" Rachel said standing there waiting. Brittney stands up.
Brittney: "I'm sorry" she said politely with no meaning to it at all and sat right back down. Rachel is very stunned at this point but feels like she put her foot down for once.
Rachel: "thank you" she said walking back to her seat Monica gets up to talk to Rachel. And Joey gets out his chair walks over to Brittney. He leans over the couch with his elbows sitting on the edge and says.
Joey: "so now that's out of the way… how you doing?" as she turns around.
Brittney: "I'm fine…but you won't if you don't get away from me" Joey's smile turned into a frown. He walked away towards Rachel and Ross at the table.
Joey: "wow she's awfully cranky" he said talking to Rachel and Ross.
Rachel: "I know. I mean if someone invented the 2009 bitch awards…she would be an honoree" Rachel said as Joey shook his head in agreement. Phoebe is chatting with Brittney who seems to be really calm when she's talking to her. Monica taps phoebe on the shoulder.
Monica: "hey phoebe, can I have a word?" Monica said smiling at her and her guest. They move away from Brittney so they can be private."Um phoebe…what is she doing here?"
Phoebe: "well let's see, I didn't find out until we left the coffee house that she was the one who gave me the seven dollars"
Monica: "really, why is she so mean?"
Phoebe: "she really is a sweet girl. You just don't know her that well, but I know the little ti-"
Monica: "PHEOBE SHES RIPPING THE MAGAZINES!" phoebe turns around quickly to find her ripping all the magazines.
Phoebe: "NO! What are you doing" chandler grabs his ripped up playboy magazine.
Chandler: "I can't believe this is what's left of my life" he said holding up a ripped up picture of a woman's naked behind."
Phoebe: "ok I've had enough of this" phoebe said grabbing Brittney's arm from the couch.
Brittney:" ouch! You're hurting me" she said trying to tug away from phoebes grip.
Phoebe:"oh yea you think this hurts, you should see how you've been hurting everyone in this room"
Phoebe finally let goes of her grip and Brittney realizes how terribly she's been acting to these people
Brittney: "… look I'm sorry; I know I've been a complete burden while I've been here. I have been horrible to you and the rest of your friends. "Now the apology actually looked very sincere on Brittney's face.
Phoebe: "here let's sit back down" Brittney's eyes began to tear up. Phoebe gave her some sheets of tissue." So what's going on?"
Britney: "well" she looks at phoebe. "My life is not, exactly at its best right now.
Rachel: "that's for sure" Rachel said with a low laugh looking at Ross. Ross taps Rachel on the arm to get her to stop laughing and immediately she does.
Brittney: "my therapist told me, that I need to find better ways to deal with my anger other wise I will be...Alone and-and despera" she said, crying into the tissue barley catching that last word she said.
Phoebe: "that word was desperate everybody" phoebe said looking at Rachel and the others.
Phoebe:" you won't be alone, I'm pretty sure there's a nice…" she's giving Ross signs that she's talking about him." Intelligent, sexy" Ross being very confident in those choice of words phoebe said, with that blush look on his face when she said "sexy" Rachel stares at him for a moment and he stops blushing.
Brittney: "really, because it's hard to find a good guy that's intelligent AND sexy." She said still going back and forth to the tissue with tears still filling her eyes.
Phoebe: "he might even be a paleontologist" she said holding her thump up smiling at Ross.
Brittney:"are those the people who work in the world of science"
Phoebe: "yea something like that"
Brittney:" I hate those smart bastards" Ross face turns drastically. He got up out his chair sliding the chair back pretty loud.
Ross: "EXCUSE ME BUT, PALENTOLOGIST ARE COOL!" he said yelling at her as he grabbed his coat and walked out the door.
Brittney: "well what's his problem?" she said, as her tears began to dry."
Monica: "he suffers the same conditions as you" Monica said telling a lie as quick as she could. Everybody stares at Monica wondering why she said that.
Brittney: "well maybe I should talk to him" she said.
Phoebe: "yea maybe you should… I mean you two have this great thing in common about attitudes."
Brittney: "ok, I'm going to do it" she said with a more strong confidence in her voice as she stood up and walked out the door."
Rachel: "I can't believe you just told her a lie like that"
Joey: "what's the big deal if Ross does figure out she's not interested in his dinosaurs and his bones, she's still hot."
-SCENE 3 OUSTSIDE CENTRAL PERK-
Brittney bumps into Ross outside central perk right before he was going in.
Brittney: "HEY ROSS!" he turns around and sees her coming towards him.
Ross: "oh hey Brittney" he said, like he really didn't want to talk to her.
Brittney: look I am so sorry; I didn't know-
Ross: "oh it's ok…it's kind of hard to express yourself to people who can't relate to the things you do, ya know.
Britney: "yea I completely understand… and hey" as she put her hand on his shoulder." It's great that I know somebody who feels the same way I do." She said looking into his eyes. Ross is getting connected to her because he thinks she loves the same thing he does.
Ross: "wait so you understand why I was so upset." Brittney shook her head.
Brittney:" I do, but hey you can't help it, and neither can I." the look on his face is a bit confused but he's easily happy with their talk so Ross feels comfortable enough to ask for her number.
Ross: "so… are you single, I was wondering maybe we can go out sometime." As she digs in her purse to pull out a card.
Brittney: "I would love that" as she hands him the card. "Now that's a place where we both can let off some steam... if you know what I mean." She said smiling at him and walks finally looks at the card his smile turning into a frown.
Ross:"DR MORGAN'S ANGER MANGMENT SESSIONS! Ross is in total anger. A kind elder man walks past." WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!" he said as he walked away. Looks like somebody might need the anger management.
-aurthors notes- this is my very first time on here publishing anything. i usually don't put my work out but, i love this show to death so i wanted to write some episodes to the series there will be more to come please tell me what you think i did the best i could..thank you!