Title: The Miss Adventures of Kaidan Alenko
Author: DinkyMew
Game: Mass Effect - post ME 3
Disclaimer: I do not won any of the characters or content related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard, created by Bioware.

So what is this? A randon posting from a series I shelved? Well, yes. It is. I realised that I have not posted anything recently because life - in it's ever turbulent fashion - decided to throw some spanners into my smooth operation and I am delayed. So I thought I would share this with you while I complete the work on the next chapter of Mass Effect 2.

I wrote this at the beginning of the Miss Adventures of Kaidan Alenko series - I know there will be questions, and I am happy to answer any of them, but as a scene I thought it was feelsy and so thought I would just share it. Love you all!

Abigail paused outside the hospital room, unable to find the strength to go inside as she peered in the window instead.

Kaidan was asleep, his face turned away from her toward the window, the sun shone through the glass glinting off the plastic oxygen mask over his face, lighting the faint bruising under his skin. She shook her head at her own reflection on the glass, the horror and despair written there was almost too much to bear.

"Mrs Alenko?" She started, turning to see the attendant with a clipboard under his arm. He was a young doctor, probably about her age, and he offered a dark hand to her as he approached. She shook it numbly forcing her hands into the pockets of her combats.

"Tell me we have something from all that doctor." She said quietly, her throat constricting painfully as she finally brought her eyes to meet his.

"I'm… I'm sorry Mrs Alenko." He said gently "None of the information you brought back has produced a viable cure. There's… there's nothing more we can do for him." He took a cagey breath, pulling the clipboard from under his arm to glance down the chart quietly "The virus has spread to an extent it's no longer treatable. It's… it's shutting down his organs one by one, all we can do is make him comfortable – but he asked for you to be here." He cleared his throat, avoiding her gaze as he added "He's not… he's not always cognizant Mrs Alenko. The toxicity level of his blood is quite high, his liver was one of the first organs to be affected."

Shepard closed her eyes, turning from him to look through the glass again, she watched the laboured breathing of her husband in despair.

"Thank you doctor." She whispered, and he took it as a welcome cue to leave.

She moved to the door, but found she lacked the strength of will to enter. Taking a shaking breath she forced her hand to the holo-lock, bracing herself as the doors slid open. Stepping inside, the room was silent save for the monotonous blip of the heart monitor in the corner.

Somehow it seemed a comfort as she approached the bed, looking down on him. She had come across him many times like this before; in her mind's eye she could see him curled on the sofa at home, Ashley snug in his arms and both of them snoring happily and the cruel reality of just what she had missed in the last fifteen years threatened to take her legs from under her and she sank onto the stool next to his bed.

His face was older, the angles stronger, more defined. He had a few new scars, one on his eyebrow, another on his cheekbone and the silver at his temples had crept past his ears now – but he was still Kaidan. Still her Kaidan.

She reached a hand to him, fingers grazing the rough texture of his face as he stirred and she retracted the gesture guiltily.

His eyes opened slowly, lazily and he smiled crookedly at her.

"Hey." He whispered, his voice rough and tight "I wondered if you would come."

She forced her eyes to be bright, forced a smile to her lips as she reached for his hand gently "Of course I came." She said, her tone light and scolding "Where else have I to go?"

He smiled, pulling the oxygen mask from his face as he winced, "I don't know. I just wanted to see you." He said his voice trembling as his breath began to shake.

Shepard gripped his hand, squeezing and un-squeezing his cold fingers – so terribly cold; a trait so unlike the Kaidan she remembered whose hands were always roasting hot against her skin, always warm and grounding and there – so heartbreakingly foreign she felt tears sting her eyes and closed them for fear she would cry.

It didn't matter, the tears came anyway, forcing their way from under her lashes they ran unbidden down her face as she sucked a breath in, her voice broken and barely a whisper as she spoke "I can't do this without you."

Kaidan's fingers moved in hers, squeezing with the last of his strength "No." He whispered, and he tried to sit up, wincing in agony as he did and then deciding it was too much he sank back down "No." He said again, his dark eyes finding hers and holding the gaze intensely as he shook his head

"This is your story Shepard." He breathed "It was never mine. And this is… this is my stop." He nodded sagely "But you can go on Abigail." He swallowed "You asked me once if I believed in God – if I believed he had a plan for everything… that everything happened for a reason." He swallowed, pausing to take a laboured breath as he smiled "I never did get an answer to you, but I know now there is honey. And there is a plan for you, I believe that. You'll go and you'll do what you have to."

He sank into the pillow, his voice husky and pained as he swallowed "I'm just lucky you picked me." He whispered with a small smile "The greatest challenge of my life right? My greatest reward."

Shepard smiled, the familiarity of those words warming her as she squeezed on his hand gently "It's been a hell of a ride." She whispered.

"The best." He murmured, a smile creeping onto his pale face as he gave a soft chuckle, the sound slipping into a cough as he pressed his free hand to his chest absently "All fleeting glory…" He shook his head absently "What is it you used to say Shepard? I can't remember."

Abigail frowned, leaning forward on the bed to press her lips to his temple gently "All glory is fleeting." She whispered, her voice barely there "It's your legacy that endures."

"Mmm." He mumbled, his eyes closing briefly. They fluttered open just as sudden "Can I ask you a favour?" He asked.

"Anything." Shepard said sincerely, forcing that smile to her mouth once more.

"Could I borrow you for a while?" He rasped "It's freezing in here."

Carefully Shepard got to her feet, drawing the blanket back so she could crawl in beside him. He was lying on his back and she curled around his bulk, leaning up on her elbow so she could play idly with his hair like she used to, feeling the thick curls sweep over her fingers. He trembled against her and he was cold – so terribly cold – but she knew that was the blood slowing inside him.

She watched his face carefully, tracing each line, each scar and committing it to her memory as she cradled his head close to her. He smiled faintly as tears ran from his closed eyes, down past his temples, sliding under her fingertips as she swallowed desperately trying to hold it together.

"Kaidan?" She whispered and he stirred, his eyes fluttering open – dark, tear-filled orbs finding hers and he smiled at her – before they fluttered closed again.

"Hmm?" He whispered "Oh, sorry…" His voice slurred at the end, his words becoming less distinguishable as his laboured breaths became more strained.

"Kaidan." She begged, pressing her forehead to his gently "Please don't go."

He pursed his lips and she kissed him gently, a smile ghosting at the corners of his mouth as he whispered raggedly "I'm not going anywhere honey. Just resting my eyes a moment." He coughed again, hard this time and she tried to focus on his closed eyes rather than the blood pooling at the corners of his mouth "I'm just so tired." His words whispered off at the ends.

She clung to him, closing her eyes as she pressed her forehead against his letting memories wash over her – from first glance to first kiss and everything in between and beyond and she knew, absolutely, in that moment that she could not lose him. Not now. Not ever.

"Stay with me." She begged brokenly, the phrase like balm between them. His hand trembled slightly in hers, the grip failing as he nuzzled in closer to her, his head resting in the space between her shoulder and her head. His lips grazed her ear and he whispered:

"Always."