Disclai... actually, you know what, I think we all get it.

A/N: I have had this idea for absolutely ages, but recent heartbreaking Bones moments made me think of it again... don't actually watch Bones, but I've heard all about it from Tiva4evaxxx, FadeIntoTheBackground, and dizzy - in - the - izzy.

"I love you." The words sounded so strange aloud, he couldn't help saying them again. "I love you."

Ziva just looked at him. He loved her. Tony DiNozzo was in love with her. He was standing on her doorstep, eyes bloodshot, arms open, looking at her – silently pleading, begging for her to say she loved him too.

And she had. Oh god she had. She'd fallen faster and harder than she knew was possible. She had loved him quietly, even as she flirted with him obviously. Then Jeanne happened. The pain of seeing him fall for someone else, followed by the agony of seeing his heart broken and not being able to do anything, anything at all. After that came Michael, and those horrible days of coldness. The terrible decision to tell Gibbs that she couldn't work with Tony, without giving the real reason – unknowingly, unwittingly, he had broken her heart.

Somalia was the real turning point. A wonderful clarity comes with thinking you are going to die. And there's no better time than months of captivity to sort out your emotions. Most days she still can't believe she ever got out of there, and it's thanks to him, the wonderful man standing in her doorway. It's because of him. "Guess I couldn't live without you," he had said, and she had fallen in love a little bit again. But she had pushed it back, pushed it away, because she had promised herself she wouldn't be that woman, waiting helplessly for the man she could never have.

Back in the country she now called home, she had focused on piecing her life back together, becoming an NCIS agent, getting her citizenship and regaining her sanity. In many ways, it was the best decision she had ever made. Forgetting about Tony and dealing with herself made life so much more simple.

After that, she had met Ray in Miami. Truthfully, she probably wouldn't be with him forever. He was nice, and they had fun, but that was really it. However, he was doing something incredible for her by reminding her that there were many great guys in the world, who weren't Tony DiNozzo and had never torn her apart.

"I can't," she said.

By the way his jaw dropped a fraction before he caught himself, she knew that wasn't what he had expected.

"I thought..." he didn't finish, but she understood.

"I am so sorry."

"I'm too late, aren't I?"

She bit her lip, and slowly nodded once.

He turned to walk away. Ziva stared at his back, feeling as though she should cry, but with her cheeks surprisingly and stubbornly dry.

In some way, some parts of me will always be in love with you, but you're not good for me, Anthony DiNozzo. Not with everything that's happened, and not anymore.

:'(