Fallen Angel

Bianca didn't really know why she was here. She didn't feel guilty for killing Anson. She was only trying to protect Drew, but at the same time Anson was not just some random guy who attempted to rape her. Bianca knew Anson. And even during the times when they both would sell drugs, there was a better side to him.

"...R.I.P Anson Russ, you will be missed," the pastor ended his speech and tried to encourage people to come and say a few words. With the few people that were there – his mother, two brothers, a little sister, and Bianca, no one said a word.

The pastor didn't bother to try and get any of them to either. He understood that no one wanted to talk. Bianca desperately wished that Drew was with her right now, but then that would only make matters worse. She scanned the landscape and took notice of the mother who was crying loud and bitter tears. She felt something at her heart tug, and she wanted to cry too but she refused to.

The whole family seemed to be upset, and it made Bianca wonder why he did the things that he did. He seemed to have a family who loved and cared for him. Bianca sold drugs to fill the empty void in her life. With both parents being dead, she really didn't have anyone. What did Anson do it for? The thought wouldn't leave her alone, even as she tried to get herself to leave the grave site. She found herself slowly walking towards the mother who was still crying. Her children had given her some space and she knew that it would be the only opportunity to talk to this woman.

"Ms. Russ?" she said with a soft tone, as if not to alarm the old lady.

She expected Ms. Russ to come swinging at her, screaming in her face and calling her a murder. But she didn't do any of that. Instead she just touched Anson's grave, murmuring words in a language that Bianca didn't know. She frowned, "Sorry I didn't know you didn't speak English...And I'm guessing I don't speak the same type of Spanish as you so..." She felt stupid as she started to walk away. The graveyard gave an eerie feeling. The grass was barren where they were and Bianca was ready to go home anyway, maybe it was for the best.

A laugh escaped the old lady's throat and she looked at Bianca with surprisingly warm eyes, "I was speaking in tongues dear, praying, but with a language that God has blessed me with."

"Oh," she mumbled awkwardly. Bianca didn't know much about religion, and she had no intention of finding out.

"Ms. Russ...do you know who I am?" she questioned.

"The lady who killed my son...yes I know who you are," she stated, but the tone of her voice was not dark or bitter. Instead she just sighed.

"I'm really sorry...I didn't want to kill him. I know that you can never forgive me for this but-"

"Honey please calm down. I've already heard all about it. You were just trying to protect yourself. What else was there to do when someone was trying to," she cringed, "rape you."

Bianca could tell that she never pictured her son doing anything like that in a million years, and her curiosity grew, "Ms. Russ did you know...about the type of stuff he did?"

She sighed, "No...But I had an idea. I just don't understand how it all happened. Or why he would," she shook her head as more tears fell down her eyes, "It must have been because of his father."

Bianca didn't want to pry, but she was aching to find out, "Do you mind telling me-"

"His father was a drug dealer. He would come home late every night angry about not getting enough money for drugs...He would take it out on me," her voice grew shaky, "Anson saw this and was horrified, but he was a daddy's boy. He tried to do everything to please him. He wanted to be like him, and deep down inside that kind of scared me."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. All things happen for a reason after all," she sniffed.

"How can you be so calm? After everything you've gone through and now this-"

"The Lord has gotten me through worse honey, I'll tell you that much."

Bianca found herself smiling at this woman's strength. She didn't know if she could ever bring herself to believe in a God, but just looking at this strong woman, she knew that she could bring herself to do some of the things in life that she thought she couldn't.

"You want to know something child?"

She shrugged, "Yeah sure, of course."

"I just know in my heart that Anson wasn't a bad person. Sure he made many mistakes that he would have never been able to take back, but my son was never bad. He was simply a man who lost his way and unfortunately," her voice grew hoarse; "He will never have the chance set everything straight."

Bianca sighed as she stared at the grave and thought about what Ms. Russ had said. If that was the case, then maybe it could be true for her. She looked over at the old lady with the gentle eyes and tears rolling down her face.

"Do you think that's the case for everyone?" she asked as she tried to hide the hopefulness in her eyes.

The lady nodded, "Of course. Everyone can set what they've made crooked, straight."

Bianca smiled despite where she was. Through Anson's death, her life was given a new perspective. If someone like Anson could have had a chance, then she could still make things right today. She wouldn't waste it and end up regretting it. Because as she'd seen from being the one to kill Anson, life was just too short. Someone could take it away in a minute, and you had to make the best of it.