A/N: Hi guys. I know that I told some of you guys that this would be up earlier, but I had complications… by complications, I mean that the rest of my family kept kicking me off of the computer because I wasn't playing World of Warcraft. They seem to think that typing my story isn't important.

I am also in a bad mood. My MP3 player fell out of my pocket while I was running and landed on the wet ground, so it doesn't work. I am cut off from Green Day. **Cries** In result, Artemis will be tortured in this chapter. A lot… It takes place on Christmas morning…

Shadowfire: Hey, wait! You forgot about me!

Me: oh yeah… My friend (Shadowfire) wanted me to make an OC modeled after her, but there aren't going to be any more female OC's in this story, so she asked if she could be my Co. author. I said yes…

SF (Shadowfire): That's right.

Me: So she will start appearing in the Author's notes. Oh, and here is a warning. SF is insane, so-

SF: I am not insane!

Me: Sure, sure. Whatever you say… Anyway, SF, say the disclaimer.

SF: **Is listening to music while sipping Coke**

Me: SF?

SF: …

Me: Shadowfire! Say the disclaimer!

SF: **Sends me a nasty look** Fine, fine! Disclaimer: We don't own anything that Eoin Colfer created and I came up with the plot, not her. **Sticks tongue out at me**

Me: Curse you…

"Not a chance," Artemis said, backing away from me. "I am not wearing that. Remember, my relatives are coming."
I walked closer to him, holding up the tie I'd found in the back of his abyssal closet. It was red with occasional green polka dots on it. There was a picture of Frosty the Snowman waving his hat up in the air in the middle of it. And, if you pressed a particularly large polka dot at the bottom, all of the green dots glowed a neon-green as it sang 'Joy to the World'. Obviously, Artemis thought it was childish and stupid. "Please! It would complement your hat!" I said, pointing at the green-and-white Santa hat I'd also made him wear.

"Sam, that tie is revolting. Especially when it sings." Artemis scowled at it as if it were trash.

"If you dislike it, then why did you buy it?" I asked, taking another step closer to him.

"It was a gift from my Aunt Angelica. Do you really think that I would but that?" Artemis took another step back, bumping into the wall. He was trapped.

I grinned evilly and took another step. I was practically standing on him. There was no escape this time.

"Didn't you say that all of your aunts were coming? If so, you should wear it. Just to be courteous." I lifted the tie closer to his neck, but he grabbed my hands, stopping me from tying it.

"You already made me wear this ridiculous hat. Isn't that enough?" His eyes were pleading.

I rolled my eyes. He was trying to sweet talk me again. I had been trying to get this damn tie on his for at least twenty minutes, and every time I get him trapped, he distracts me by flirting. It wasn't going to work this time.

"No." I tried to break free of his grip, but it was like iron.

"You do not see me trying to dress you, do you, Sam?" He was glaring at the tie again.

I looked away, and my eyes caught the clock. I took in a quick breath. "Artemis! Look at the time! It's 7:50!" I dashed out the door, leaving the horrid tie on Artemis' floor. Angeline had told us to be down for breakfast with her sisters by eight.

I rushed into my room and slammed the door, locking it behind me. I then grabbed a black shirt and matching black pants. They were all I could see immediately that were clean and matched. I threw them on and ran a brush through my hair.

Looking in the mirror, I noticed that the shirt I'd thought to be blank read Bite Me in huge, bloody-looking crimson letters. I figured that it would have to do and ran down the stairs to the living room.

Artemis was surrounded by three husky women who didn't resemble Angeline much at all. They all had red hair and bodies that were shaped like an apple, whereas Angeline had jet black hair and was shaped more like a banana. Speaking of bananas, I remembered that I hadn't put on any sunscreen yet. I took the tube out of my pocket and walked out of sight to apply it.

"Sam!" Angeline called. "Come down for breakfast!"

I walked back down the stairs to see that the three women were staring in my general direction. I smiled self-consciously and walked over to stand by Artemis.

One of the women noticed this. "Oh! Arty, is she your girlfriend?"

"No," Artemis was looking at the floor. "I do not have a girlfriend."

I nodded as he lied, going along with it. Artemis and I had decided that no one needed to knoe about us.

"Well, then," said Angeline. "This is Angel."

Angeline waved her hand at the woman that had asked about Artemis and me.

"This is Angelica," Angeline waved to the plumpest woman. Angelica was the one that had given Artemis the tie. I grinned at her.

"And, last, this is Angelina." Angelina waved at a woman that was glaring at me.

"Hello, everyone," I mumbled, looking down. I usually wasn't this nervous, but these women were very nerve-wrecking.

The one named Angelina snorted. "She is American."

She spat out the word 'American' as if it was a bad thing.

"Yes, I am from New York," I smiled, trying to hide the fact that I wanted to bite this 'Angelina's' head of.

"Don't mind her, Sam," said Angelica. "She is just angry because her husband is trying to get a divorce."

Angeline gasped. "Rick?"

Angelina nodded and scowled at the floor in hatred.

"I'm sorry, Angelina. I can't believe that none of us saw this coming." Angeline sounded sincere.

There was a long silence.

"So… when do we eat?" Asked Mr. Fowl, speaking for the first time.

--

"I'm not hungry," I said to Angelica for the seventh time.

"But you should really eat something. This omelet is delicious!" Angelica took a huge bite of her omelet to prove how delicious it was.

"I like to eat… out." I said, looking into my lap. Artemis squeezed my hand from under the table.

"Oh, give it up, Angelica. Sam never eats anything, even when she cooks it." Angeline said.

"That would explain why she is so skinny," said Angelina. "Are you anorexic, child?"

"No," I mumbled. "I just prefer… other types of food… and drink."

Artemis squeezed my hand again. I was revealing too much information.

There was more silence.

"Is everyone finished?" asked Mr. Fowl.

Everyone nodded.

"Alright, then le-"Angeline started.

She was cut off by the sharp ring of Artemis' fairy phone. Artemis and I exchanged glances.

We both stood up and walked up the stairs to Artemis' room.

Artemis pressed the 'answer' button and a horrified Trouble appeared on the screen.

"Holly is missing!" He exclaimed.

A/N:

Me: Cliffie!

SF: **Laughs maniacally**

Me: **Scoots away from SF** We will update tomorrow. Bye, all!

SF: Before we go, I have to say something…

Me: Oh great…

SF: Shuddup!

Me: **booger laugh**

SF: I am not really this insane. So, don't run when you hear the name 'Shadowfire', okay? Bye, guys.