Victor Von Doom was not a friendly man. This was a hard and true fact. It had been studied, tested, and carved in stone the way holy prophecies once were. 'Let it be known that there will one day come a man by the name of Doom and he shall not be a kind creature. He shall not laugh, smile, show his face, or be kind to children. So it is written, so shall it be.' It was that kind of fact.
Loki wasn't really all that concerned about it, though. Loki didn't need Victor to be handsome or kind or the kind of man you wrote home to your parents about. (Loki had cut ties with his family ages ago, so he really didn't need that last one.) Victor was intelligent, the kind of man you could hold an actual conversation with, provided Victor was in the mood for talking. He didn't judge Loki for being a reclusive shit starter, and a liar, and a general all around deviant. Victor was great.
So even if Amora was always on his case about finding someone more handsome and Raven insisted that Victor was the kind of person not fit for human consumption, Loki liked him anyway. They were both hypocritical bitches anyway, since Raven's boyfriend was a complete prick and Skurge was more hideous than Victor could ever be.
So, no, none of that mattered. The one thing that did matter was that Loki loved a single holiday with all his heart and Victor was trying to ruin it.
They had been living together for a few months before Loki discovered what Victor's true flaw was. It started with an off hand comment Loki had made about decorating for Halloween and ended with Victor stating how firmly against the ritual of decorations and candy and talking to strangers he was before Loki had to excuse himself from the room. And then from the house.
"It's over!" Loki announced when he met with Raven and Amora at Amora's house an hour later.
Amora and Raven exchanged looks. "What's over?" Amora asked.
"Victor and I. We are over," He said with finality.
"What? Why?" Raven questioned.
"He hates Halloween."
"What?" Raven repeated, sounding almost offended. "All this time and this is what you wanna break up with him for?"
"You didn't know?" Amora asked her. "Loki's always had a hard-on for Halloween."
"He was against absolutely everything! Costumes, candy, trick-or-treating! Who hates candy!" Loki demanded. "What sort of blackheart spurns the treasure of the universe?"
"Is he serious right now?" Raven asked. "Please tell me he isn't serious."
Amora let out a deep sigh and reached out to take Loki's hand. "Loki, you can't break up with because he hates Halloween."
"Watch me," Loki said.
"You are the most shallow person I've ever met," Raven said. "Looks aren't important, being a dick to everyone isn't important, but you will end everything because of a holiday? And not even the best holiday!"
Loki glared at Raven. "I will rip out your tongue!"
"No, you won't," Amora told him calmly. "And you won't break up with Victor. God, Loki, you're such a fucking drama queen."
Loki folded his arms over his chest and grimaced at them both. "You're suppose to be my friends," He said. "You're suppose to support me."
"And we will," Amora told him. "Have you considered that you could change his mind?"
Loki pouted a moment. "I considered it…" He said slowly.
"Then do it!" Amora snapped. "Because if you and your asshole boyfriend break up over this I will have Skurge break you!"
"Why am I friends with you two?" Raven asked herself.
"Because we're the only bitches that put up with you," Amora replied. "Unless you wanna start hanging out with Emma."
Raven groaned loudly.
"You know," Loki said. "You two are right. I will convince him that he loves Halloween!" Loki stood quickly. "I have to make preparations. Also, Raven, the reason that we're friends is because I know about what you did your first year of college."
"You said you wouldn't speak of that!" Raven cried in panic.
"And I haven't," Loki replied with a grin.
Loki's first order of business was to convince Victor to let him decorate. That is, if convincing someone means doing it completely without their knowledge. There were jack o' lanterns and spider webs decorating the house when Victor returned from work.
"What is this?" The man demanded.
"Decorations," Loki answered. "Halloween is my favorite holiday, you know?"
"I thought we talked about this, Loki?" Victor said with a sigh.
"We did," Loki answered. "And I decided that you are wrong and I have to teach you the correct way to live."
Victor scoffed. "You think I have time to waste on such-"
"If you don't celebrate Halloween with me I'm getting a divorce," Loki said with a flat expression. They weren't married, but Victor knew better than to point that out. The man just sighed, slowly unwrapping the bandages that he kept on his face while in public.
"Loki… you know that I'm not good with… people…"
"And you don't have to be," Loki told him. He walked over to Victor and wrapped his arms around the man's shoulders. "You just have to be good with me."
"You want me to parade myself in front in strangers."
"No, I want you to open the door a few times, on one specific night, and give candy to children."
"I'm not good with children, Loki."
"I'm not asking you to hold a baby, Victor."
He look didn't happy, he didn't look certain, but he did agree. "Alright," Victor said. "If it's… what you want."
Halloween was a disaster. Loki convinced Victor that he should dress up as The Phantom of the Opera. It was a way to hide his face and get him into the spirit of things, but even having his scars covered Victor was highly uncomfortable. Each time he opened the door he practically threw the candy at the children. He was aggressive whenever someone complimented his costume. In general, Victor was very bad at Halloween.
"I'll take it from here, Victor," Loki sighed. Experiment number one was a failure, but Loki wasn't giving up that easily.
The next Halloween, Loki decided to guide Victor through the process.
"All you have to do is open the door. I will give them the candy," Loki said.
"Alright," Victor agreed. Loki dressed him up as Darth Vader that year, feeling immensely proud with the increased level of comfort he had given his boyfriend.
"Trick-or-treat!" The children yelled happily as soon as the door was open.
"Trick-or-treat," Loki said in return, holding out the bag of candy. The children took their hand fulls of candy and before Loki could wish them well, found the door slamming in his and children's faces. Loki blinked slowly at Victor, almost unbelieving of what just happened. "I wasn't done, Victor."
"You said we are just suppose to give them candy," Victor argued.
"Yes, but that does not mean that we cannot have a conversation with them."
"Why… would we?" Victor asked.
"Just… hold the door open a little longer," Loki said patiently.
Loki had never met someone so bad at opening and closing a door. Loki had lost count of the amount of times Victor had slammed the door on his or the kids faces. Sometimes he barely wanted to open the door at all and other times he would steadily move the door closer and closer to closing the entire time Loki spoke to the children.
Loki wasn't certain if he made it halfway through the night before sending Victor away.
"I don't know if I can do this," Loki said to Amora and Raven. "He can't even judge the timing for holding the door open!"
"Maybe he's doing it on purpose," Raven offered.
"Maybe you should just settle for using him as a prop piece to your own celebrating," Amora added.
Loki made a noise of protest. "But I want him to have fun with me!"
"Just pick a different holiday," Raven said.
"I can't!" Loki told her, letting his head fall onto the table. "This is my holiday! I have Halloween in my soul!"
"In your soul, Loki?" Amora raised an eyebrow at him.
"Yes! Chaos makes me stronger."
"You are such a drama queen," Amora said with an eye roll. "You're not a fucking chaos god, Loki, you're just named after one."
"So says the mortal," he countered.
"Are you going to spend the rest of your life trying to teach your boyfriend how to play Halloween?" Raven asked.
"Perhaps," Loki answered. "If I must."
"Might be easier to teach a new dog, you know," Amora told him.
"Yes, but I like this one," Loki whined. "Why didn't you let me leave him two years ago?"
"Because two years ago it was a stupid idea," Amora replied.
"Why don't you just get a holiday only boy?" Raven offered. "I've been seeing this one guy every Christmas-"
"No one wants to hear about your conditional threesome!" Loki said.
Raven pushed him. Loki laughed.
Amora shook her head before leaning forward and asking, "Is he cute, though?"
"Duh?" Raven replied. "Unlike you two, I actually have good taste."
Amora and Loki both reached out and pushed Raven out of her seat.
The next year Loki didn't bother being clever. He put Victor in a mask and made him hold the bag of candy while Loki opened the door and spoke to the children.
"I don't like this, Loki."
Loki sighed as he closed the door. "What's wrong now?" Loki questioned. "You don't have to speak. You don't have to hold the door. You don't even have to look at the children if you don't want to."
Victor hesitated before answering. "It's… not fun."
Loki was taken aback by that answer. "You… actually want this to be fun?"
Victor looked away, seeming awkward and uncomfortable. He shrugged. "That is one of the reasons I'm with you, Loki."
Loki grinned widely. "Victor! Have you been waiting all these years to profess your love for me?"
Victor continued looking away.
Loki pounced him. They didn't get much more celebrating done that year.
"I think I'm going to marry him!" Loki proclaimed to Raven and Amora.
"Halloween went that well?" Raven asked.
"Not at all," Loki answered. "I have a plan for next year, though. No, I'm marrying Victor because he is absolutely lovely."
"Since when?" Amora questioned.
"He confessed his love to me," Loki told them with a contented sigh. "He's an ill tempered, bad mannered, elitist and I love him. I'm going to teach him the ways of my people and we're going to create new frightening holidays together."
"There are so many things wrong with that," Amora said.
"I'm going to propose to him, and we'll get married under a blood moon, and we'll adopt a creepy orphan child that I'll rename Wednesday and I'll teach her to grow up to be goddess," Loki sighed.
"Do you have to practice this kinda shit?" Raven asked.
"In the mirror every morning and every other night," Loki told them.
"You're a goddamned lunatic," Raven told him.
"I'm going to make Victor into my Morticia."
"No you won't," Amora told him.
Loki looked at her with starry eyes. "Keep trying, but you won't kill my dreams."
"I'm sure," Amora conceded. "I'm completely sure."
The following Halloween Loki lead Victor to the top of one of the city's buildings as soon as it got dark. He had a duffle bag slung over his shoulder that he placed on the roof beside them, turning his grinning face to Victor's. "This year I thought we'd do something special to give out candy."
"I gathered as much," Victor replied. "I can't imagine what you have in store for us here."
Loki grinned wider. "I'll show you." Loki reached into his duffle bag and pulled out a water balloon. He looked over the edge of the building and dropped the balloon. It exploded into water and candy on top of an unsuspecting man. "I thought you may enjoy this more than you had my other method."
Victor actually smiled at him. "You are very determined to have us do this together, aren't you?"
"I've been trying to do this for four years, Victor, I hope you would notice."
Victor shook his head and reached into the bag to take out a balloon of his own. He dropped it over the edge, watching at some person below got an unpleasant surprise. "I suppose I could do this without much complaint."
Loki laughed, wrapping his arms around Victor. "I would hope so," Loki told him. "Otherwise this would be the year of our break up."
"I don't doubt it," Victor said. "You can be very dramatic, Loki."
"Yes, but you love me anyway."
"Perhaps," Victor answered. "Now let us get on with menacing civilians."