Like a Rose
Oneshot
I slipped my arms around the neck of my boyfriend. I leaned forward and lightly kissed his face; his slightly prickly, unshaven cheek tickled my lips. I sighed happily and rested my forehead on his shoulder just enjoying the feel of his familiar hold around me.
I inhaled deeply, however and instead of smelling of his normal musky cologne, he smelt mildly floral; a scent I unfortunately recognized. I pulled away feeling strangely numb. I turned my face away from him; who was it today? I retreated from him several steps.
"Kagome, what's wrong?" Kouga asked, his arms capturing my waist once again.
My eyes reluctantly looked deep into his emerald green demonic eyes.
"Who's perfume?" My words were flat, hardly expressing any of the conflicting emotions I was feeling.
Kouga sighed, rubbing his thumbs on the small of my back. Slowly, deliberately, almost as if stalling for time.
"Look, during sixth, me and Ayame had a few drinks. We didn't do anything." He leaned his ruggedly handsome face against my forehead and tried to make eye contact.
I smiled sadly, clasping my trembling hands lightly together in front of me; all the while shaking my head.
"No, Kouga. Something happened. I know it did. Just like last week and the week before." I argued, wondering the point and why I was even still doing this.
Kouga sighed again and dropped his hands from around me this time. "We ditched most of the periods after lunch and went to my car."
I simply nodded once; my loose chocolate curls bounced ever so slightly over my shoulder. Words escaped me; Kouga lightly held my tense shoulders. He kissed my forehead.
"I'm going to see her again tonight." He whispered in my ear.
I pushed away from his warm and familiar body; I was repulsed. Kouga let up his hold without a fight. I didn't like how he looked relieved, while I was devastated.
Wordlessly, I picked up my tote. I turned and walked down the now empty school hallway. Pushing the double doors apart, I felt a chilly rush of winter air hit my body. I shivered. I stopped and cast a look back; Kouga was watching me.
I shook my head. "We're done. Have fun with Ayame."
The bastard didn't even bother responding. Just let me keep on walking; let go of the girl that had been loyal and loving to him for the past year.
With a heaviness I couldn't name, I walked slowly to the only place that could bring me any peace of mind, the small, local park by my house. It had only a single set of swings and a dirty, little sandbox. However, when I was younger this was my favorite place to play.
My mind instantly thought of a million happy memories from this place. It was were I met my best friend, a hot-head half demon with unruly silver hair and a pair of triangular dog ears. He tried to beat the kid up that stole my favorite shovel; we were four and immediately bonded. Here was also where me and him used to sneak away in the middle of the night during our rebellious teenage years. I blushed for a second remembering a night in particular where I begged him to give me my first kiss so I wouldn't be nervous about having another one. It was your typical awkward first kiss between embarrassed twelve year olds, chapped lips, bumping of noses and then teeth, followed by the uncomfortable moments that came after of playing it off like it was nothing.
I wrapped my arms around myself and leaned against the flimsy chain-link fence that bordered the outskirts of the park. I let a small sigh escape my lips and closed my eyes loosely. The sounds of passing cars and walkers enveloped me.
The backs of my eyes burned terribly; I wanted to cry so horribly. But why couldn't I? What was holding them back? I knew things were too good to last with Kouga. I knew of his reputation before we dated. I even knew about his cheating that had started a couple months ago. And I knew another very important thing; I knew I wasn't, and never had been, truly in love with him.
In the long year we had been a couple, I never confused my feelings for Kouga as love. The only thing I did love about Kouga was the sense of protection and attention he gave me. He protected me from the tragedies of my past. He shielded me from all my worries with kisses and words of nonsense. I had forgotten what it was like to be lonely. I was simply used to all affection and was too cowardly to leave him. I like being loved; I had needed Kouga because he gave me that fake pretense. Who doesn't like to feel needed?
Now what? Who would keep me safe? I couldn't keep taking his unfaithfulness, it was killing me slowly. This whole thing had to be all my fault. I was the undesirable one; he rejected me. I am desperate for love; I need to be loved. Twin rows of warm tears finally seeped through my closed lashes; I made no move to wipe them away. What was the point if my makeup smeared?
The last year had been wasted. I was once again, alone and vulnerable; I already missed the steady momentum of things. Why am I not good enough for him? Why can't he be happy with the way things were? Doesn't he know I need this? I need someone to protect me.
I hugged myself harder, hating this consuming, lonely feeling that was welling up inside me.
Like a dying rose, whose petals were falling away, my life too, was falling apart.
A set of powerful arms pulled me to an invitingly warm body. Immediately, I melted into the embrace. I knew who it was, it was the only man I had ever completely trusted and loved. It was my best friend since childhood. It was my first everything. I smiled inwardly, it was my Inuyasha.
I pulled back after taking a few long, comforting breaths of his familiar masculine scent. Inuyasha's smoldering amber eyes looked darker then normal; he was giving me a concerned look.
"Hey." I stared back through watery eyes; a smile just starting to form on my lips; his presence just made everything okay again.
"Hey," He brushed back my bangs, a familiar gesture, "I heard about what happened."
Of course he would, Inuyasha never did like Kouga. I bit my bottom lip and looped my thumbs through the belt loops in his black slacks; I nodded.
"Yeah, kinda stinks I guess."
Inuyasha growled low in his throat and buried his nose in my shoulder, inhaling deeply. My blood pounded in my veins, I always reacted so strongly to Inuyasha. I finally smiled softly and trailed my hands up the back of his white dress shirt to rest on his shoulders. My smile disappeared when I felt the damp fabric.
"Inuyasha?" I whispered, gently pushing him back.
I tossed his long, silver hair over his shoulder and my eyes went wide. I fingered the dark stain and began pulling open his collar with shaky fingers. His feverish skin was warm and welcoming as I searched for the scratch. My hand lingered on his bare shoulder.
Inuyasha refused to meet my gaze.
"Kouga's?"
His lethal claws lightly prickled my skin through her shirt; I took that as a 'yes'. I felt new tears in my eyes and I was too choked up to breathe properly.
What Inuyasha had done for me today was nothing short of what he had always done for me in the past. He protected me and my honor. I knew he loved me, just like I had always loved him. We were best friends, it was not uncommon. But... could there be something more to this? This new thought made my heart skip.
"Stupid," I managed to said, "You could have been seriously hurt."
Inuyasha wrapped his arms more tightly around me and kissed my forehead. "You really think he could have?" He pulled back and smirked. "Come on, Kags. I know he was your boyfriend but give me some credit."
They way Inuyasha had said 'was', surprisingly didn't me; his innocent peck on the forehead did. My body was becoming a little too worked up. I smiled again, shaking my head. That trademark smirk of his was too infectious.
"Just please tell me, no one saw and you are not going to get suspended."
This time a fang peeked out of his upper lip. "No one saw."
I sighed heavily, suddenly exhausted from all my problems and wild thoughts in my head. I let my face fall forward on Inuyasha's shoulder.
He let me rest for several minutes. In his arms, I felt unbelievably comfortable and content. My eyes didn't seem to want to stay open. This felt very, very nice.
Eventually, he wrapped his larger, rougher hand around my smaller, softer one. "Come on, Kagome. I should get you home."
Inuyasha bent down and I wanted to giggle; he hadn't done this for me in ages. I happily climbed onto his back. He gripped my bare thighs with a warm secure grip; Inuyasha kicked up from the pavement. I shrieked loudly and squeezed his shoulders a little harder. I felt a little silly for my reaction. I smiled, it didn't matter though; Inuyasha wouldn't hold it against me. With him, I didn't have to pretend to be anything I wasn't. Me and him laughed and joked and fought with such passion and carelessness; I was never afraid to be a fool in front of him.
Like the time we decided to go hunt frogs. Inuyasha's family was quite rich and they had an enormous backyard that held several large ponds with frogs. We always went to the ponds and one day, I wish I could say we were little, when we were sixteen we weren't doing anything and I got the random idea to catch one. Inuyasha protested and told me to go have fun. Somehow, as I was bouncing around and crawling in the mud trying to get one, I fell into the pond that was a few feet deep and filled with large goldfish. I screamed hysterically and splashed about trying to get out before I would touch a fish. Inuyasha naturally came to my rescue but then he got this evil glint in his eye and dropped my ass right back in the pond. I was so mad and I tried to get him in. We spent the rest of the afternoon splashing with pond water and tackling each other with fists full of mud.
As I quickly got used to the contrasting feeling of cold air rushing through my hair and the warmth of Inuyasha seeping through the shirt on his back, I snuggled my face into his neck. How many times had Inuyasha come to my rescue? How many people had he taken care of that had wronged me? And if he had known who had scarred me all those years ago, what would he have done? Probably murder the criminal.
I was simply blessed with the greatest best friend.
My lips grazed his neck and I planted two soft kisses there, before I had realized what I was doing. My chest felt lighter now, the heaviness replaced with a swelling emotion of a different kind. I loved him. I loved Inuyasha.
Wow. This had so suddenly made sense to me. Why did it take so long for me to realize it? Why had the gods been so cruel as to deny me of him for so long? Dangling him there, in front of me the whole time. But what if he doesn't love me too? Love me as more than his best friend. What would I do if all he wanted was to be best friends and nothing more?
I kissed his neck again. "I love you." I whispered into his hair.
Inuyasha's hands fractionally gripped my bare thighs harder; other than for that I couldn't be sure he had heard me. I closed my eyes, its better this way. What could the chance possibly be that he loved me too anyways? The swelling in my chest constricted painfully, I felt laden down again. I was alone again. Inuyasha would never think of me as more then a friend. He would protect me always but he would never give me the love I now craved from him. I tried to hold back the tears and hugged him tighter then before. This moment was mine; I would savor it, all of it, every single second.
Shortly after, we arrived at my house and Inuyasha only allowed me down long enough to unlock the door. He then scooped me up in his arms and took me inside to the family room. Gently, he settled me down on the couch. His strength would never seize to amaze me.
"I'll make us some dinner." Inuyasha offered, exiting the room to the kitchen.
I flipped through the channels, not really paying attention to the screen. My mind kept wandering to my handsome best friend that was cooking us dinner.
Ten minutes later he came back holding two streaming bowls. I wasn't surprised to find the Ramen Noodles in my bowl. It was most likely the only thing Inuyasha ever ate and knew how to cook.
"Thank you, Inuyasha."
He shrugged, already too busy devouring his portion.
We ate mostly in silence watching some overrated 'reality' TV show. When I finished, Inuyasha took the dishes. As he left, I leaned back feeling completely overwhelmed, lonely and mildly hopeless. My new discovery was going to be hard to live with.
I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't notice Inuyasha reenter the room until I felt him sit down on the end of the couch. I felt one of his claws graze my leg and he began to massage my calves. My breathing slowed and I choked back a sob. He didn't love me, Inuyasha pitied me. What is protection when it lacks the depth of love.
For a few minutes he worked my legs until they felt watery and made me feel oddly relaxed even with all my worries and insecurities. Inuyasha stopped and watched me as I bit my lip. I wanted to hate him, right now, for being too perfect.
"It's probably time for you to get to bed. Sleep in tomorrow, I'll take you in late."
A tear slipped down my cheek, all I could do was nod. Again, Inuyasha lifted me with ease and took me away. I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly, I was unsure if I would be able to let go.
He kicked my door open and the first thing that hit my nose was the smell of roses. There on my desk was a fading bouquet of them. They smelled so sweet, and reminded me of Kouga. I wrinkled my nose; that was the last person I wanted to think of right now.
He pulled back my comforter and laid me softly among the mattress. He grabbed the blanket and drew it over me; tucking me in. Inuyasha made to leave but my hand on his made him stop. He didn't look back at me. I was suddenly nervous. Did he know what I was going to ask? Did he know how I truly felt? What I discovered today?
"Inuyasha, why are you being so gentle? Please say you don't you pity me." I spoke in a whisper; my throat was too raw to form any strong definition.
When I didn't get an answer I had to bite my lip to stop from crying all over again. I let my hand fall away. Again, he took a step toward the door.
"Will you come lay down with me?" I managed to choke out; he paused.
It was a fairly harmless request; we used to nap together all the time before Kouga.
"No." His voice restored of its regular characteristic gruffness.
I closed my eyes, my eyelashes fluttering to hold back the tears pushing against my lids.
"Do you love me, Inuyasha?" It was barely a whisper, the sentence choked its way out.
His hands dropped to his sides, balled tightly. He shook his head.
"No."
I nodded. "Will we ever be more than best friends?" My voice cracked and I opened my eyes, freeing the burning liquid.
I had never felt this vulnerable; I had never felt this rejected.
"Never." Inuyasha's shoulders started to shake, his back was rigid.
I rose from my bed and wrapped my arms around him. Pressing myself flush against his back. My tears soaked his shirt, seeping through to his skin. I knew it was childish but I decided I wasn't going to let go; he couldn't leave me now.
"But I love you so much." I hoarsely whispered. I knew I probably sounded desperate but I needed him more then I could ever remember needing anything else.
Inuyasha gently pried my cold, trembling hands from around his middle and turned around. I bravely met his gaze, his brows were pressed together. My jaw clenched.
"You deserve better. Better then Kouga and better then me." He said seriously pulling me to his chest.
"I don't need anyone but you. I love you more, so much more then you will ever know." I was pitifully begging him now.
He lowered his face and kissed my cheek, he kissed my forehead, and he kissed my entire face. Like he was trying to stop my tears. When I did stop crying he found my slightly wet and salty lips.
I felt my whole being grow weak with the heavy burden of my emotions. As his lips fell on mine, over and over again; I finally felt contentment. His powerful arms steadied my body with his. Before the kiss became less innocent he slowly pulled his mouth from mine. When I finally opened my eyes they were misty again. Inuyasha cupped my face. My heart hammered quickly in my chest; I was feeling dizzy. This was what I knew I was supposed to feel like after kissing someone. I had never experience so much thrill with Kouga.
"I've been reluctant to feel this way about you. I'm not good enough; I don't deserve your love. But Kagome, I do love you."
I smiled widely, and put my hands on his. I pulled them from my cheeks to my lips and lightly kissed each knuckle. I released them and sought Inuyasha's mouth once more, this time standing on my tip toes for a more comfortable angle.
Inuyasha held on to me. In these past few minutes, we had progressed so far, and there was no stopping us now.
In the midst of our passion, we made it to my bed. My need for his love was stronger then ever. A fire was ripping through my body, fueling me in a way I had never experienced. He offered me his protection and love. The two things I strove to find all my life. Being with Inuyasha was more effortless than anything else; together we were a perfect match.
His hands helped slip my school clothes from my smoldering body; mine doing the same for his.
And like a newly flowered rose, our love blossomed.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, or any of it's amazing characters.