Theory Of Love
Chapter One
It always feels so weird. . . the cold metal sending shivers up and down my skin. . . and the water lapping at the bottom of my knees. I never, ever cared what I was wearing at the time. . . just fill the tub up and take a bottle from the fridge. The first step into the lukewarm water, that slowly takes over the tub like a cancer eating away at your organs, is the most important step in this process. It asks me if I'm sure about this, is this really what I want to do? The first slice is usually the most painful but at this point, after doing it so many times, I'd be lucky to still have nerves. I told myself that I would never tell anyone when I did it. It would be. . . Lonely, no. . . a nice calming solitude that no one else would be around to enjoy. The only thing that I regret is that the culmination of this middle aged mans life, no matter how irrelevant, will be put to an end because of a woman's request. Fine she wants to be left alone. . . In a few minutes I won't be around to bother her. . . ever again.
The bath water, which is now a nice salmon color due to the now empty cheap bottle of wine that always accompanies these moments , rises still ever so slowly to greet the hairs in my nostrils. I raise my left arm and grab a shinny, bloody, blurry piece of metal off the side of the tub, which I can barely make out with my now fading state of mind. The warm metal penetrates and rips apart the many veins and capillaries that run across my wrists. Now all that is left to do is wait for darkness. . . sit and die.
"Hey, Nev. . . It's me Harry, where are you? Listen don't play this crap with me. . . You know you owe money so-holy shit!!
"This is where he's staying nurse?"
"Yes sir you can go in for a few minutes, but if you upset my patient I'll throw you out on your arse."
"What's going on Neville?"
". . . . . . . . . "
"Look I have to ask, is there a reason for you to feel that blood water cleans better than soapy water cause for one thing blood water is harder to get than regular-"
"Harry what do you want?"
"You still have debts that I am going to collect from you. . . You can kill yourself later but first you have to pay up to Tom."
". . . . . . . . . "
"WELL!"
"Go back to my apartment, in the kitchen on the right side of the sink there's an old Raid can. It's fake, just open it up, you'll find your money in-"
"And if I don't?"
"It'll be there!"
"Okay in that case I'm off now. . . Hey Nev?"
"What?"
"I told you that Ginny was trouble and that trying to be with her could mean your death but. . . If she drove you to this don't you think you should tell her? I think you should."
"You. . . Just don't know man."
"I know when someone is addicted to something, and you really need that girl in your life. . . Go get her."
". . . . . . "
"You obviously love her. . . look I got to go. . . This doesn't change anything, next time you owe I'll be there to collect. . . You hear me?"
"Yeah yeah. . . Thanks Harry."
He's right . How could I have been so stupid of course she loves me. I'm such a fool I'm sorry baby, I only wish I wasn't so far away from you right now or I'd take you in my arms and show you how much you're loved. I nearly tore the pavement I was driving so fast but seeing your face would well be the worth of some ticket. God, what was worse the nights we spent laying next to each other so close yet so far away, back to back arms crossed, or this fucking trip, this long agonizing ride, just to see your sweet face.
Finally I made it, the six flights of stairs I have to run up because the elevator is fucking broken again, this is just a minor bump, almost there. I'm glad you dragged me outside all those times to make me run, you're so thoughtful thinking of my health. You didn't think I could be in better shape just in case I needed to run a few blocks then up a staircase, you just cared about my health. I guess everything in life does happen for a reason. Last floor and I can almost make out your coconut scent, the burning in my chest and muscles wont matter, soon you'll be in my arms again. I don't know why I stopped here this door is the only physical thing that blocks me from you but. . . I guess maybe all I needed was a short rest or a second to make sure that I know what I want. I do, you cant possibly feel the way I do about you and question why, this is meant to be.
"Neville!?"
Normally. . . This is where she gets up from her newly furnished sofa and starts up wherever the argument ended. Normally. . . I would slam the door and tell her to shut up then go to bed. . . Normally. This time is quite different however. This time I don't want to argue anything, true I do want her to shut up but that's only so she could fall into my arms. This time. . . I know we will be alright. This time. . . I know we can get through it. This time, however, is when she has to explain to me why, who she was doing, is okay because we are on a break.
"Nev? Aw babe you have to tell me about things like this."
Seamus? She was fucking Seamus….
"Shut up! Neville. . . don't look at me like that. . . you left this house saying. . . "
"I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I SAID AND YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. . . WHY, why. . . WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL ON HIM?"
"Look I think you should leave, okay?"
"O-okay."
Sure I'll take my leave so that you may finish. . . . GOD, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck. Why now, why do I have to feel this way now. Okay, what just happened. . . You just speeded all the way here and ran up to HER apartment. . . And she was fucking. . . fucking someone else. And you left the apartment so they could get back to. . . What they were. . . Doing. . . ohh GOD, why. . . WHY!!! Okay, Okay. What is the most logical thing to do right now. Uh Home, no, bat. . . The bat?. . . THE BAT. . . I keep it in the trunk of my car. Why would you need that. . . Is she worth it. . . Well why were you here in the first place! Okay I'm gonna run right back down and. . . Open up this fucking door. . . Fucking going up these stairs for the second time. Okay the door. . . Do you wait or just barge in, maybe you should forget it. What about him, does that ass deserve this, all it'll do is scare her shitless but Seamus on the other hand. . .
"WHAT THE FUCK MAN"
"Neville, I told you to lea-Ohh my GODDD!!"
"YEAH NOW YOU GET THE FUCK OFF HIM RIGHT, RIGHT!"
"OH SHIT, BACK OFF MAN, SHIT"
Haaaaaah you know this isn't like most people describe it ("please stop hitting him. . . Ohh GOD!") you never black out and wake up later or have everything go fuzzy ("AHHH HUUUAH FUCK MY ARM, PLEASE, SHIT OHHH MY CHEST ::cough:: ARRGH") It's way better. . . everything becomes clearer actually. . . with every WHACK comes this feeling, a SHOT of adrenaline and pleasure ("Stop he's not moving!!") I love it.
"
"I think we shouldn't see each other anymore. . . I'll go get my things, okay?"
Okay you are very fucking calm mister grab-your-shit-after-beating-a-man. Well perhaps that was a bit extreme but I can't help but feel really good right now, I needed that. All that's left to do is pack your shit and leave, nothing else just leave and forget her ass.
"Yes that's 168 Waterport Ave. . . yes send an ambulance. . . Ok hurry he's bleeding a lot. . . Don't worry you'll be okay."
"Yes whore tend to your lover. . ."
"WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING."
(With bat in hand and bag in other)
"Outside."
Its just a shame that I cant stay to see where that is gonna end. Shit. . . I am going to have to see Alex about this. . . I'll be fine this shit won't even touch me. Where the hell is my phone. . . Right in the car. . .
"Uh, Riddle. . . Yea, I need a favor. . . Yeah I know what the price is. . . Well I caught Ginny with a man. . ."
He always walks with that look that never fails to communicate "don't fuck with me". His mere presence was intimidating and I never understood how Harry could be around him as long as he was without so much as a quiver. I'd never seen someone so plagued with the urge to harm, not like him at least. He would often tell me that if anyone dare touch her that not only would that person suffer a torturous death, but that she would also feel unbelievable pain to her last breath just for allowing it, its really hard to understand him. I have never been able to look into that mans eyes without lowering myself as to not pose a threat. I would do anything that he asked me to, even if it included bringing some sort of harm to myself.
I was checking over the hotdogs that I put to boil when my phone rang. I don't usually pick up; I let it ring out because you never know who is trying to reach you. After it rang out I went to the phone to 69 whoever called but before I could. . . it rang again, I picked up and with great enthusiasm Tom told me . . .
"I have a job for you. I'm coming over now! "
"Wait where are you? "
It was the bell for the downstairs door; I hurried over to the intercom and let him in. He came bursting into my room with a look of satisfaction which turned into irritation when I told him I could not do what he asked of me. He is going too far this time . . .
"Sir this is insane you can not kill her, don't you love her, why would you even think of such a thing."
"I don't think you understand me, she let herself be touched by some man's dick, and she willingly became a slut that's addicted to drugs. I am saving her from a disastrous life."
"No, no, no . . . No! I can't do this; I can not kill someone I . . . "
"Shut up! You're not killing anyone, you think I'd let you kill her? She deserves to have her life ended by my hand and plus you're to chicken shit to do anything to anyone."
I couldn't say no. . .
"What do you want me to do?"
"All I want you to do is find her and bring her to me. And one more thing Longbottom. . . do not fuck this up."
I went to the building where she worked and waited for her in the parking lot. I felt like an idiot, waiting in a parking lot about to abduct someone. After a half-hour she came out the building like Tom said she would. She is so graceful she doesn't even walk; she glides along the pavement like a dove in the sky or a swan silently swimming by. What the fuck is wrong with me I can't start having these feelings again, she is going to die and that's that. I start to move towards her with the chloroform ready, she doesn't hear me. I hate myself. I'm quick as I possible can; I shove my hand over her mouth and force both hands behind her. She falls to the ground limp and I help her into my car. She has a wonderful smell It reminds me of coconuts or bananas, maybe both. Now she is laid out on the floor in the back seat with my comforter on her limp body. I actually enjoyed the drive back to my house, I think it's because for a little while Ginny and I have been quiet in each others presence.
"Tie the rope around her ankles and then around the chair legs. . . Good."
"Sir please, do you really think that this is best for her. Maybe she could change and work on her life."
"Just finish your job."
Huuuh oh well. Now the deed is done, her will is signed and she is ready for the end. All I can do is watch as this man; this sick, sick man kills a woman that I could have loved. . . oh well no one especially him will ever know. It's for the best, I'll miss you Ginny.
As Tom walked over to the blonde he couldn't help but notice the beauty of it all. That red-head who practically ruined his life is now naked with her legs spread wide open tied down into a chair that is strategically placed on the edge of her nine story building. He of course can only let out his appreciation for all of this in the form of a smirk. As he walked closer to her constricted body, the wind starts to pick up as if to awaken the girl. With each step that Tom takes the girl blinks herself awake. As she realizes her predicament, she begins to panic. She then notices Tom standing there with eyes narrowed into a menacing gaze.
She barks "You tell me what the hell is going on now!"
Tom piercing through the trash that blows by her, eyes on her eyes, replies "Are you afraid of me?"
The girl spits out "Of course not you idiot"
Tom, a little saddened, then turns around and grabs something from the floor. As he sets up for . . . whatever, he asks again "Are you afraid of me . . . Babe?"
"I have no reason to be afraid of you"
"This is a soddering iron" Tom grimly replies
"This is used to melt pieces of metal in order to weld together other pieces of metal. Don't you think that it looks a lot like a dildo?"
"That does not look like any dildo I ever seen"
Tom shaken by this statement but not surprised "I bet you've seen all types. Well hun, you have become quite the slut haven't you? Once again do you fear me?"
She states "Maybe if you would have spent more time with me I wouldn't have had to go off and find comfort with other men. This is all your fault. . . You made me this way. Now untie me, you could never hurt me. No matter what I did and no matter what I say I'm your girlfriend, and I mean a lot more to you than you pretend I do."
Her cockiness of the matter must have struck a nerve with Tom, because his expression changed from slight hostility to anger. He didn't need to say anything else to her, his actions spoke louder than anything he could have shot at her.
This is where with a charging motion Tom stabs Ginny with the heated sodering iron. The imagination would tell us, thanks to movies and TV, that she was stabbed in the abdomen. Tom however feels that since his lover has forsaken her purity that he should pay no respect to it as well. One can only imagine the pain a woman would feel having a 160° piece of iron jabbed into her vagina. Immediately she would suffer third degree burns on her lips and the pleasure center, the clit, would burn and dry in a matter of a second. Her vagina would swell and then shrink while pieces of her insides melted off.
He simply smiled and laughed at the screams of his injured ex.
Tom being the sadist that he is took a step back and left the iron where it lay.
The girl sat there naked, crying, screaming, cursing him out into the night.
"You should fear me; everybody learns that they should fear me."
Tom kicks the girl off the roof; of course in order to add insult to injury he kicked her where she was already hurting. He watched her fall to her death and she laid there naked on the cement where after a few minutes the people of 168 Waterport Ave had stated to gather.
Those last words that he spoke to that stupid corpse are forever etched into my mind "This was the only way I could help you leave your nightmare of a life . . . You're welcome."
A/N: So yeah...first chapter and all that jazz...leave a review and tell me if you think it should continue...