This is my first story, I didn't even finish the 1st book, but I'm only using places and characters, but I will create some characters, and kick some, it is a t-rated story (language only), constructive criticism strongly suggested, I wont add a 2nd chapter til I get 5 reviews, and most of all, enjoy and review
Chapter 1
It was just an ordinary night; I saw a wolf, walking with a slight limp, probably abandoned by the pack, as I drew my bow back, aimed to break his neck, …BAM! Out of nowhere this explosion appeared and scared the wolf away, and resting exactly where the explosion was, laid a blood red stone, smoking from the explosion. I lifted it only to find out that it was much lighter then it appeared, like some sort of, egg. So I started for home.
*%*
When I got back to Carvahal, I had shot a mere turkey, not much at all, so I stopped in at Sloan's in hopes of trading the stone for some meat.
"Hey, Sloan!" I said upon entering.
"Eragon, my boy, "he responded," see this, finest cut in all of Alegasia,"
"How much?" I asked.
"How much? Hahaha, too much for any man below royalty to get the whole bull cut like this."
"I have something to trade." I produced the stone.
"Where did you steal this from?" he said suddenly worried.
"I found it hunting in the spine" I responded.
" Well put the damn thing back!" he snapped.
" Why? Its not cursed or anything, is it?"
" It's the kings, I don't know what it is, but put it back where you found it before all of Carvahal is slaughtered because you took a stone that you thought looked pretty!" He was steamed at this point.
" OK, but, can you clean this turkey for me?" I changed the subject.
" Not as long as u have that God Damn stone in this town!" he was really upset now.
"OK, then I'll go put it back then." I said backing out of the small shack. He just glared at me.
*%*
" I'm home!" I called. Garrow waved then returned to weeding the potatoes. Roran was busy grooming the horses, while Valencia was setting rattraps, which consisted of some honey and molasses on a plate. And when she saw the turkey she started to boil water to remove the feathers.
"That's it? I thought you would've gotten at least a coyote with that" she criticized
" Shut up Valencia" I told her," I did see an injured wolf, but I slid on some leaves and scared it away"
" You klutz" she shot back.
" Calm down ladies" Roran mocked.
" Oh, no respect for the hunter?" I countered playfully.
" Oh, come now, you call yourself a hunter when all you shot was this pathetic bird? Its one days meal," he was still playing along as he grabbed a broom and I got the fire poker and we had one of our playful spars, I almost got him in a neck slip, but he clubbed me in the shoulder, then I swung again, but missed and hit an overhanging bucket and spilled the cold rainwater on his head then lunged him in the gut and he gave in.
" Your not much of a hunter," he was still on it," but your not bad sparring with a stick" he said still crouched over.
" Waters boiling" Valencia chimed in and I went over and cleaned it.
I hoped you like it, my rewrite is somewhat like the book and movie dropped in a blender and I added my own touches, now plz review and vote on my poll, and if you have any better names for a title, bring them on
Dark Dragon Rider1