Based on TheCherryOnTop by ohwhatsherface

"Chatterbox's smug face is smothered all over this post, I swear." Mello growled and took a munch off his chocolate bar for the nth time today. He and Matt were reading Chatterbox's new post, and the blonde didn't seem so content with it.

"Really! How the fuck did they know where I hide my chocolate!? IT'S AS IF THE PERSON IS OMNISCIENT!" He ranted while gnawing on his bar quite loudly. Matt just continued to read the post.

"I wouldn't be surprised if they actually were; Besides, they always know how many chicks I bang per week."

"And guys."

"And guys."

Mello's face was a fuming red, redder than Matt's hair. "Now they're gonna nick all my treats. Again!"

"Ha. I remember when the gossiper pinpointed the last twenty locations of your treats…It was hilarious."

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME!"

The red-head was laughing his ass off to the point where he actually fell backwards and still continued to giggle, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. Mello wasn't as mellow and boiled with anger.

"One day, I will turn all of your insides into outsides." His face darkened in an extremely threatening manner. The corner of his eye glanced at a sweat of fear emitted from Matt.

"Ah, don't please."

The blonde changed his position into a thinking pose. "Hm. There could be a whole array of suspects for the identity of Chatterbox, but we can eventually narrow it down."

"You're trying to find the true identity of CB?" Matt raised an eyebrow. Not even the police could find the true identity of the gossiper due to the fact that they seemed to be very experienced with encryption and how to basically stay anonymous for life.

He stood up to leave. "Ha. CB targets schools all over Japan. What chance do we have seeing them in real life - or better yet in our school? Good luck with tha-"

"Read their profile or I'll tell where you keep your video games."

"CB might have done that already-"

"Your hentai games."

Matt's eyes widened. 'No! Not my poor lolitas!'

The red-head stared at the blonde in the most serious manner possible. "I'll do it."

Mello's face scrunched in disgust. "You and your porn."

"Worth it!"

"Read their profile. We may get some hints on who this person is."

"M'kay Captain."

Matt's eyes skimmed over the post.

CHATTERBOX'S PROFILE:

Profile Description:

Hello. My name is Chatterbox and I would like to discuss the most useless news going around various schools in Japan and other information regarding the CIA and other government agencies. Please refer to me as 'they' due to the fact that saying my true gender pronoun would narrow down my identity. All of my information provided is indeed accurate and I shall not ever disclose my sources to you.

Likes: Silence, isolation, challenging puzzles

Dislikes: Noise, Crowds, Easy games (basically the opposite of may likes)

Birth Date: 00/00/0000

Hobbies: Breathing.

Lover: Your mother.

Q/A:

Why are you such a Bitchy Blabber Mouth?

You make it so easy.

Where the fuck did you get all of this information from?

I have my sources.

What is your real identity!?

I am the God of the New World - KIRA! jkjkjkjkjk.

…

"Huh. Whoever it is, they seem to convey themselves pretty decently."

Matt has finished his small reading of Chatterbox and Mello was pacing around the room, thinking ways on how to torment CB. Abruptly, something significant transpired.

DING!

A new post from CB.

"HURRY! HURRY! READ IT, DAMN IT!" Mello exclaimed. CB barely updated; Only once a month. However, this is a new school year, so Chatterbox has been on hiatus during the whole Summer Holiday. Not to mention, they write entries for schools all over Japan. This is a crucial chance to catch them.

They clicked on the post from the section based on their school - Whammy's School for the Gifted. It was also the biggest section out of all of the schools.

…

CHATTERBOX'S POST: Rinse and Repeat

Posted on: 3rd of September

Subject: Oh ho ho! Miss me much?

Bitches, Bitches like me never quit, so here the fuck I am!

(How's that for a re-intro, huh?)

Tomorrow's going to be the day that we are forced to drag ourselves back to hell…Also known as a 'school' (I dunno what they had to put a fancy ring to it. Just call it hell already.)

Anyway, everything's pretty much the same:

- 69 and Second-Place are still the infamous pranksters and pyromaniacs of the belovéd school.

- Artsy is as artsy as ever; Creating erotic manga for 69 to buy for a penny or two. Shh! Don't tell her!

- Irked is still as easily irritated as ever, especially by idiot's cute little antics. I wonder why he had to make Barbie his girlfriend, though. He doesn't seem that happy…In fact, he seems a bit…Homosexual.

- Idiot is still an idiot.

- Barbie is planning her big debut as an actor, but she already is fake enough.

- Sheep's on top of the intellectual food chain, as per usual. Have fun beating him, Second-Place!

- The teachers are as boring as ever tbh.

Oh, but wanna know something interesting reader? Yeah? Do you?

Of course, you do (you're here for entertainment and blackmail) while I get paid to do my job and spill the beans.

We've got a new teacher, did you know that?

And I'm callin' him L. Don't question it.

Apparently, he's an advanced math teacher. Huh. BORING!

But guess what's not?

The fact that he's a 'former' detective. Hm…I wonder why he's at the school for. Eh; who cares?

Also here are the few other new teachers that Irked is gonna be annoyed by (I already gave them nicknames lol):

- Delete (Science)

- Spokeswoman (Drama)

- The others are pretty uninteresting (yawn).

So yeah. Enjoy the new year, Bitches!

Predictions for this school year:

- Sheep is still sitting on his throne, proud.

- L is gonna have a big secret.

- Barbie and Spokeswoman are gonna have a catfight over Irked

- Irked is gonna realise soon that he's gonna be happy the gay way (OooOoooOo Maybe L!)

- 69 is gonna get caught buying artsy's erotic manga

- Second-Place's gonna have yet another bitch-fit due to the fact that Sheep beat him (again) and would set the school on fire.

- Delete is gonna be a bitch.

CB OUT!

…

A white-haired boy grinned sinisterly he clicked on the 'post' button.

The deed was done.