What happens when Harry Potter and Anakin Skywalker meet?
Harry is walking down a lane into a forest overgrown with trees, dreaming about Hermione, when he spots a man holding a stick of blue light. The stick of blue light is aimed at him.
Harry: Who are you?
Anakin: Are you a Jedi? If you are, then I'm under strict orders to kill you from my boss, Palpatine. I like to keep the peace.
Harry: Kill me? I've already got one maniac on my tail and I don't want to be hunted down by another one, thank you very much.
Anakin: Who are you?
Harry (coughing): Harry Potter. The maniac who's hunting me is Voldemort. Like I said, I only want one on my tail.
Anakin: I was Anakin Skywalker until a month ago. I transferred to the Dark Side of the Force, and now my name is Darth Vader.
Harry (rubbing his forehead, confused): Oh, right.
Anakin: Huh? I don't understand. My name should strike fear into the heart of any Jedi. Why not you?
Harry: Beats me.
(He whips out his wand and aims it at Anakin.)
(Anakin laughs.)
Anakin: You think I'm scared of a stick?
Harry (unable to speak):
Anakin (to himself): Should I kill you, then, or should I wait for orders? I don't know if I should kill you, really, if you're not a Jedi.
Harry: Jedi?
Anakin: They're evil people who use lightsabers like this – points to his stick of blue light – to kill good people.
Harry: You mean, you're a Jedi?
Anakin: No. You've got it all wrong, kid. You obviously have no idea what I'm talking about. I shouldn't have told you any of that. I should just kill you now so you can't remember.
Harry (speechless):
Anakin (aiming his lightsaber at Harry): One, two three…
(He lunges forwards, the lightsaber just about to cut through Harry's head…)
Voldemort: Stop! I want to kill him. I don't want a stupid man like you to stop me, either.
(Anakin's eyes glow orange.)
Anakin: Keep away.
Voldemort: No. You get out of the way, sonny.
(Anakin hates being called "sonny." He runs at Voldemort with his lightsaber and cuts Voldemort in half.)
Anakin: That's done and dusted. Now, the boy.
(He turns to Harry.)
(With one slice of the lightsaber, Harry is dead. He falls to the ground.)
(Anakin laughs loudly.)
Anakin: Now, I should get back to Coruscant and wait for more orders. And maybe kill some younglings in the Jedi Temple…
(Anakin leaves the forest.)
(Deep in a cabin in the forest, a woodcutter is wondering why echoes of cruel laughter are bouncing around in the air. Little does he know it, but Anakin will come for him one day…)