Chapter 1
It was a beautiful morning. One of those kind of morning that makes you wanna just sit and listen to the bird sing their merry tunes while rocking back and forth on a softly cushioned swing. Peter Griffin was doing just that. He took a sip from his freshly brewed cup of coffee. He smiled and waved at the passing people on their way to work. His smiling was not due to knowing the passer-byes, or even because he was the friendly sort. No his reasons for the pleasantries were rude, even slightly sadistic. He smiled because he didn't have to toil away at work for hours and hours, and the people did. He was not slowly falling to a deep depression and creating a vile hatred for life itself, but they undoubtedly were. No, he was not sad or even angry. No not anymore. Peter Griffin was retired. A happy retired widower with no responsibilities but to relax and slowly die a happy man.
Today was going to be a good day. Greased Up Deaf Guy (Or GUDG for short) was giggling gleefully at the sight before him. His mirror was kind of greasy but he could make out his slim figure wiggling sensually before him. He danced for a while before he decided he should probably be getting on with his day. GUDG was getting ready for his appointment. Apparently the mayor has a thing for low class whores. GUDG chuckled at this thought as he slathered the grease onto his bare flesh. He moaned, the feeling was always so amazing. He jolts out of his trace with a start, "I've goddo hurrwy!". He had realized that he was running late. He rushed out the door and hurried down the road.
Peter Griffin had just finished his coffee and was looking at the bottom-of-the-cup grounds intently when something caught his eye. He looked up and did not regret it. There, running sexily down the street was the most beautiful man he had ever seen. "My god! Wake me if I dream!" He said, his voice raspy and sensual. "This must be my lucky day." Peter quickly pulls out his phone and snaps a few pictures for later, then yells, "Hey sir, could I talk to you for a moment?" The man just continues on running. This angers Peter, so he starts chasing the object of his desire. "Sir? Could I please talk to you for a moment?" Again, no answer. Peter was in a blind rage at this point and runs harder, Adrenalin pumping. He catches up with the man and attempts to tackle him to the pavement. But, of course, this does not work. Peter marveled at just how greasy this man was. GUDG glances behind him, "Whad iz goin on ere?".
Peter gets up dusting himself off. Angry, he yells, "You bastard! Why didn't you listen to me!?" GUDG could tell he was angry but couldn't read this mans lips for they were moving too quickly. GUDG could only assume he wanted some luvin'. He smiles seductively, "Come ere you vig andsum man you." Peter was startled, he didn't understand. "Why?" He asks, more slowly this time. GUDG answered, "Becaze I need sum luvin'!" Peter then understood, and a sadistic grim creeps across his face. "Yes, you do dontcha?" He said slowly. He takes GUDG's hand and heads back home.
to be continued...