A/N: Okay, so quite awhile back when I was really into the movie Mighty Ducks, I read a really funny little story called 'The Rules of the Ducks' by 'Iftheworldwasonfire'. If you haven't read it I really suggest it. If you've never seen The Mighty Ducks, I suggest you watch it too. (It's about Hockey, and I'm not a very big sports person, but I really loved the movie).
Anywhozie, I decided to try my own take on the story, but with the SCM gods (I also LOVE Star Crossed Myth. Don't get me started.) Without further ado, let's go!
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Crossed Myth OR The Rules of the Ducks. If I did, I'd be dead from over excitement right now.
This also contains spoilers, so you've been warned!
1. We do not imply that Leon and Karno are anything more than friends.
2. or Scorpio and Zyglavis.
3. or Scorpio and Dui.
4. or Teorus and Ichthys.
5. or Hue and Lou.
6. or Partheno and Aigo. (Oh c'mon, that one is cute though!)
7. or Ichthys and Dui.
8. Y'know what, let's just not imply any of the gods are in a relationship with the other gods. (Even though we all know it's true.)
9. On the subject of relationships, we do not promote Duicest. (WHAT THE FU-)
10. No throwing out all the apples.
11. No throwing out all the cherries.
12. No throwing out all the meatballs.
13. Also, no filling the mansion with meatballs. (I don't know what you're talking about, goldfish.)
14. We will not refer to Zyglavis as mom.
15. Or Dad.
16. And we will not refer to Lou as daddy either. (Ya nasties)
17. For the love of gods, please stop showing Ichthys dumb YouTube challenges.
18. If there is ever a time of mass destruction of the mansion, blame Ichthys. (Hey!)
19. Don't buy glass ketchup.
20. Seriously.
21. Just don't do it.
22. We will not refer to Shadow Dui as Dui's 'brotha from anotha side.'
23. No filling Scorpio's room with actual rabbits.
24. You can not pretend Hue's bed is a boat.
25. You can not fill Hue's pool with bubbles.
26. You can not fill Hue's pool with blue jello.
27. You can not fill Hue's pool with blue paint.
28. And PLEASE remember that Hue's pool is not a bathtub (You've scarred us for life Icky)
29. Y'know what, let's just stay out of Hue's room.
30. We will not suggest that Soryu Oh is the lovechild of Scorpio. (Sttooooooppppppp!)
31. We will not bring up Hue's past.
32. Or Dui's past.
33. Or Scorpio's past.
34. Or Ichthys mortality.
35. Or Lou being a demigod.
36. Or Partheno being the son of the demon king.
37. Let's also just not talk about anything past related.
38. We will not suggest that Red has a bias for Dui (I don't know what the hell you're talking about.)
39. We will not replace the 'You' in our sentences with Hue.
40. We will not replace them with Lou either.
41. I don't care if Lou want to, Hue can't do it. (I'm sorry, I'll leave)
42. We will not leave random electronic objects with Krioff so he'll get frustrated.
43. We will also not suggest that Krioff is the love child of Jack Frost.
44. Pushing any of the other gods in the fountain is free game for a full on ass beating.
45. We will not tell Altair anything sexual, such as girl's like looking at their lovers naked in aprons. (Teorus... Ichthys...)
46. We do not tell Ichthys he can 'open up a can of whoop ass' on Scorpio. He'll just lose again. (Hey!)
47. We do not try to purposefully provoke Shadow Dui. (Do you guys have a death wish?)
48. We will not walk in on M/C while she's showering on 'accident' because we're bored.
49. We will no longer have any sleepovers with drinks and karaoke involved. (I still can't get the image of Partheno twerking and singing Milkshake out of my head)
50. And the rule we will always need to remember, the gods always have your back. (And don't you forget it!)
Wow, Iftheworldwasonfire was right. That was fun. Anyway, I'm working on a story called 'Ways to Annoy the Gods' , but until then, Red Out!