AN: This one-shot was originally posted on deviantART, but now I've decided to post it here too. It's another AU multi-crossover.
And now, story time: This was an idea that came to me a while back and wouldn't leave my mind. So, I finally gave in and gave it a go. I had a goal for this one-shot, and that was to laugh and have fun with it. And, I believe I did by the time I was done. This was also an experiment for me, one that I've never did (at least I think I didn't) before. I wanted to try my hand in writing a crazy, crack fiction with a lot humor and see how well I could pull it off.
WARNING: Since this a humor based crack fic (well a semi-one), expect some odd things from many places.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except for the story and OCs.
No matter how much time passes, there are some things that will never change. The world still continues to grow, to evolve, and so does humanity. One would think humans have learned from their past mistakes by now, learned to accept change, learned to take better care of themselves and their beloved home planet, and learned how to at least get along with another being even if they despised that person.
Trust, Cooperation, negotiation, truces, and treaties can go a long way for anyone. Yet, all of that is not taken into consideration or all of that is thrown out of the window the moment an incident or discovery is thrusted upon you without warning.
Some people do not mind nor care for surprises, but there are others who don't and absolutely hate it. For those people, some or any particular type of surprises can lead to unpleasant results. Then disaster occurs.
As to what that disaster is, it depends. It varies from situation to situation. Anything is possible, and it can happen at any time-
KaBOOM!
Like now.
BOOM! BOOM!
CRACK
"What the hell was that?"
CRACK
"I don't-Oh no!"
BOOOOOOOOOMMM!
"Aaaaaaaaaaahhh!"
Bodies were thrown to the ground, sprinkles of dust and debris raining down on them as the sound of all of the alarms in the building went off.
"Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert! There's been a breach in Sector J-"
KaBOOM!
+++++xXxXx+++++
Bright light from a full moon shined down a large valley filled with tall grass and trees located near the entrance of a small city that housed a foreboding building, which resembled the likes of a base.
Out in the wilderness, there were many different species of bird pokemon softly chirping to the musical sounds the bug pokemon were making. This caused a chain reaction to occur as other wild pokemon living in the area joined in on the fun with their calls, creating a wonderful and happy atmosphere that was filled with nothing but peace and love. Why it almost resembles something of that one show about ponies and magic, which everyone-
"Oh no, no no no-"
"Son of a biscuit!"
SWOOSH!
"What the...!?"
Everything came to a halt from a massive explosion followed by angry protests that were smothered out in coughs. Dark clouds of smoke started to rise in the air as ember particles from the fire outbreak traveled from the crumbling city to the valley. The sudden disruption of this scenario that was all sunshine and rainbows came as a surprise to the wild pokemon, and reality kicked their poor brains into overdrive when the sparks of flames flicked in their direction, scaring them into action as they fled from the area like a Zubat out of hell.
"Aaaahh fuck! Hey! Get back here!"
"They're getting away!"
"Don't just stand there you idiotic grunts! Capture that brat and the pokemon!"
"B-But sir-"
"Just do it! And by the way, I am not a sir. I'm a goddamn pokemon you stupid dolts! How many times do I have to tell you nincompoops this?!"
A group of people dressed in dark uniforms with the letters CS stitched on the back and front left side were trying to catch a cloaked dark haired woman wearing sunglasses over her mismatched ruby and ocean colored eyes and carrying an injured creamy yellow and orange pokemon with large V-shaped ears, a pair of wings on his rear end, and large doe-like blue eyes in her arms.
"I won't let you fiends continue to experiment and harm this pokemon any longer!" the woman shouted as she dodged Air Cutter attacks from a group of Skarmory and Scyther. "Fuck off and leave us alone!" she ducked just as a large shadow with sharp talons swooped over her, missing the two of them by a hair's length. "Oh come on, not the hair! I just started growing this out!"
"Haha as if you cared about your precious raven locks before until now! Sorry Miss Ann, but you and that Victini are coming back with us whether you like it or not!" a small golden-peach colored cat with pink paws and tail leaped into the sky and towards the two with glowing purple claws.
'Oh crap, it's Meowth!' she tensed and jumped to the side, avoiding the shiny pokemon's attack.
"Oh no you don't!" Meowth growled as he stood and raced after the fleeing kid. "You are not getting away that easy."
The young woman ran around the trees and jumped over various ditches in hopes of slowing down her pursuers just as she called over her shoulder. "Why should I? You guys are nothing but low-life trash that harm and destroy others for your own sick enjoyment! It's because of you that Celi-chan and her friends almost died!" she swerved to the side to dodge the attacks raining down on her.
"Who's Celi-chan?"
"Oh by the way..." she ignored his question and, instead, looked out of the corner of her eye with a mean smirk on her lips. "Say hi to your Cruella de Wailord of a mother for me. Not that I would be around to see her one last time since she already had one paw in the grave last I'd checked."
An enraged yell came from behind her, and she ducked, making Meowth go flying over her and crashing into a tree up ahead.
"Your aim is pretty lacking there Meowth. I guess age isn't treating you well-aaaaahhh!" she tripped then fell forward and collapsed onto the ground in a heap. "Oww oww oww oww!" she and the pokemon then cried out in pain as an electrical net was thrown over them, shocking the hell out of the two.
"Hey guys! I got them!" the group of criminals arrived at the scene with the flying pokemon by their side.
"About time they showed up. What a bunch of slowpokes..." Meowth mumbled, wincing as he ran a paw over a sore bump that formed on top of his head. He then looked over to the captured woman and legendary pokemon and stood to his feet.
Suddenly, they all heard a screech-like roar and looked up to see a Dragon Pulse hit the ground in front of them, causing an explosion and a cloud of dust to appear. The aftershock of the powerful attack blew Meowth, the grunts, and their pokemon back right as a dark shadow flew into the dust cloud.
"What the-" the net over the dark haired woman and Victini was ripped to shreds, shocking the unknown figure and making it cry out in pain.
The two was then picked up, and within seconds, she, the legendary pokemon, and mysterious shadow disappeared.
"Skarmory! Scyther! Clear the dust away!" one grunt coughed out.
The pokemon flapped their wings, and in one swoop, the dust cloud disappeared.
"What?!"
"You have got to be kidding me!"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggghh!"
CRACK!
BOOM!
The group of grunts winced at the enraged cry that escaped from Meowth's lips after he punched a tree over in sheer anger.
"Damn you Lady! Damn you to hell! This isn't the last time you'll see me! I swear it! I will hunt you down like prey and capture you! Then, I will crush you and take pleasure in your cries of agony and fear as you beg for mercy. And finally, I will break you until you're nothing but an empty little shell inside, and slowly watch you bleed until you bleed no more as you take your final breath, you hear me!"
CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
All of the grunts and their pokemon huddled together in fear, cowering in a corner near a bush at the sight of the rampaging shiny cat pokemon that was enveloped in a fiery dark aura with the look of rage in his eyes.
Nearby up in a tree, an injured and soot covered girl with violet-ginger hair and orange eyes was standing next to her equally injured Hitmontop, watching the chaotic scene with a frown as Meowth started to destroy the environment around him. At this rate, there won't be any more trees left in the not-so-green valley.
"I expected nothing less. Of course, he decides to blow up from such trivial words alone. Pathetic..." she shook her head with a sigh. "I don't know how Tyran deals with him and his anger issues. He's so sensitive!"
"Beats me..." Hitmontop said with a nonchalant shrug and hopped down from the tree. "Let's go Alexica."
A quiet thud sounded from behind the fighting type pokemon as he started walking away from the burning area. Seconds later, Alexica followed after him.
+++++xXxXx+++++
Strong gusts of wind blew by as the shadowed figure flew through the night sky at high speeds. The dark haired woman and Victini were clinging onto the figure's green scales for dear life, not wanting to fall off. They had no idea who in this person or thing was aside from the fact that it was a flying type pokemon, one that had a serpentine-like body with gold and black lines.
"Whoa!" Lady and Victini gasped when their rider took a sudden dive.
The two held on as they started approaching what looked like water below them, and right at the last second, the pokemon pulled up. The flying serpent laughed, twirling in a spiral through the air gracefully as it flew over the ocean and made a small splash with the end of its tail.
It was enough to soak the two on the pokemon's back, electing a shocked cry from them.
"What the heck?!" she glared down at the grinning pokemon underneath her and Victini that was laughing up a storm. "Crazy ass pokemon..." the young woman mumbled as the serpent continued flying but at a slow and comfortable pace while its eyes, that were the color of the sun, searched the area for something.
What that something was, she and Victini didn't know.
"(Where is he taking us?)"
"I don't know Victini, and how the hell do you know it's a he?!"
"(I just know. Think of it as a man-I mean pokemon. Yes, a pokemon's intuition. Don't question it-and don't give me that look Lady!)" the psychic/fire legendary didn't even bother to turn around and see the expression on the human girl's face because he could easily feel it boring down on him and the top of his head.
"Victini-hey! Why did you stop big guy?" Lady cut herself off when the pokemon came to a sudden halt, and she looked down at him in confusion.
The serpent said nothing and inclined his head to the right.
"Huh?"
And it looks like they got their answer sooner than they had expected.
"(Hey look! I see boats.)"
In front of them was a small docking town bustling with tourists and pokemon walking around, some stopping to check out the view while others stood waiting near the many boats sitting around. The flying pokemon soared over the heads of many, gaining shocked and starstrucked looks, and landed in the parking lot area, attracting the attention of those heading towards their car.
" Oh...my...Arceus."
"Look mommy, look!"
"Yo Cuz, check it out!"
"Bruh, is that a...Rayquaza!?"
"Holy shit...you're right!"
"I can't believe I'm seeing one of Hoenn's legendaries with my own eyes."
"It exists!?"
"Hey look! There's a Victini too!"
"Dude! Two legendaries in one spot? I can hardly believe it."
"Please tell me this all isn't a dream..."
"What a time to be alive. Hallelujah!"
"This is a freaking miracle I tell ya!"
"Shit man, where's my camera?"
"Screw your camera bro, I can't find my damn phone!"
"Didn't you have it in your hand just a minute ago?"
"Yeah...I did."
"..."
"Fuck! I must've dropped it. Quick! Help me look for it!"
"This is too cool!"
"I'm so totally putting this on Pokitter."
"Nah son, stream this shit on Poketube! You'll be swimming in views. Instant likes…and maybe a couple of dislikes from the trolls and haters just because."
Lady and Victini sweat dropped at the excited chatter among the crowd as they slipped off the pokemon. "Well, it looks like you caused a bit of stir big guy..." the young woman smirked and looked at the huge green serpent in amusement with a slight twinkle in her heterochromatic eyes that were hidden from view.
"(Don't forget about me as well.)"
"Still, I can't believe that I'm actually looking at a Rayquaza right now myself..." Lady mumbled in slight awe as the dragon lightly nudged her hand, and she gave him a small pat on the head. "To think I didn't recognize one of Hoenn's legendary trios at first glance...how embarrassing," she bowed her head in shame.
"(You should be embarrassed...but I guess this might be your first time seeing one and what it looks like, so-)"
"Shut up Victini!" she flushed red and glared hotly at the small legendary floating near her.
TWACK!
"(Oww!)" Victini yelped and rubbed his sore forehead. "(Okay, okay, I'm sorry Lady!)"
"You should be," she gave him a pointed look and crossed her arms.
"Hold on...that Victini can talk?!"
"Wow! That's so cool!"
"I wonder if there are other pokemon like it that can talk too?"
"I wonder about that as well."
"Still, did she have to hit-"
A loud whistle followed by a long howl broke through the chatter, nearly breaking the ear drums of everyone one there.
"Alright everyone, break it up, break it up! Move along! There are other people that need to get by and use this parking lot too ya know! This isn't a hangout area or your neighborhood's basketball courtyard!"
They all turned around to see an irritated young woman with long red hair walking towards them with her hands on her hips, her Midnight Lycanroc following not too far behind with a slight swag in his step.
"Wait a minute..."
"Is that who I think it is?"
The red haired woman stopped a few feet away from the crowd and stared hard at them, making some flinch. "Hypnosis..." she murmured and her eyes flashed a bright blue for a split second.
The crowd blinked and suddenly dropped to the ground without warning, much to the shock of Lady and Victini.
"(What in the world?)"
"That should take care of things," she said with a fanged smile and swept a hand over the crowd. Sensing a presence behind her, the woman turned around to see golden yellow eyes staring into her own blue orbs with a speck of red in them. "Hey Rayquaza!" she greeted him with a light pat on the head.
Lady looked around the sleeping crowd then at her red haired friend who she met on one of her missions four years ago. "You know they're going to wake up later on and remember all of this...Claire," she deadpanned. "And since when did you learn Hypnosis?"
The young Redfield just flashed a sly smile and waved her hand nonchalantly. It was as if she knew something that the raven haired girl didn't.
"Oh believe me, they won't."
Lady raised a brow at her cryptic answer and looked at Rayquaza who shook his head with a look that said 'don't ask me' then at Lycanroc who turned his head the other way, whistling oh-so innocently.
'I'm going to have to ask her later on about this. How in the world does she know this Rayquaza and where did she meet him at?'
"As for your second question, I've always known the move...but I barely use it. If I do, it'll be for certain occasions..." Claire turned away and mumbled that last sentence with a cough, ignoring the looks of the other three. "Anyway, now that you're both here, we can get going and head back to the others. They would want to know what went down," she quickly changed the subject.
"I take it we're not flying on Rayquaza-"
"Of course not. I don't want to attract any more attention than we have already. Plus, you're wet. The chances of you catching a cold are pretty high now. I don't want to worsen your condition even further than you did already just from arriving here."
"I'm not going to get sick!"
"You sound so sure about that."
"You damn right I am! Besides, you should blame Rayquaza. He was the one who-ACHOO!"
"Uh-huh."
Three consecutive sneezes in a row escaped from Lady as Victini slowly moved away from her, a look of plain disgust plastered on his worn out features. He certainly didn't want to catch whatever she was feeling under the weather from.
"..."
"You were saying?"
ACHOO!
"Zip it Fox Girl."
"How's your head feeling? What about your horn-"
"(A horn? What horn!? This strange human girl has a horn on her freaking head?!)"
"They're both fine. Can we go now-sniff-? I don't feel...so...good-sniff sniff-."
"Yeah, yeah. Hold on...just give me a second Blade Girl," a flash of concern passed over Claire's features as she rummaged through one of her pockets and pulled out a pokeball then released the pokemon from within it.
"(Hello,)" the Blade Pokemon greeted them with a short bow after he came out.
Lady's eyes widened behind her shades when she spied the Mega Stone attached to the psychic/fighting type's black choker around his neck. "Isn't that Vergil's pokemon?" she asked.
"Yes. He let me borrow him for a few days..." Claire turned and looked at the pokemon. "Can you take us back to the Devil May Cry shop?"
"(Sure!)" he nodded.
The pokemon waited until everyone was close to him then shut his eyes closed in concentration. He wrapped them all in a bubble of psychic energy and used Teleport. Within a split second, they vanished into thin air.
*Outside of the Pokemon World/Hall of Origin*
In a faraway land and sitting on a pedestal while being surrounded by large pillars and white colored cave-like walls, there was a white and grey centaur with a giant gold cross-like wheel on his body with eighteen colorful plates floating around him. The mysterious pokemon peered down into his globe, watching a few more cities and towns get burned down all across the planet.
'(These criminal organizations are getting out of hand and disrupting the peace that is within this land, capturing my children, and harming others. Pokemon...humans...spirit...monsters...so many innocent ones have died and yet no one is doing a thing about them...)' he said while skimming through the lives of various people and pokemon, one of which included the boy and his Pikachu. '(But I have faith in the Chosen One and his friends along with these...gifted children,)' the centaur pokemon continued as his eyes landed on a group of young men and women playing videogames, then moved on to another group who were watching two trainers battling each other in a pokemon battle, and finally switched over to two dark haired men, a dirty blond haired girl, and a sandy brown haired woman sparing alongside their pokemon.
"You're sure they can handle all of this...Arceus? Not that I'm grateful for you giving all of us and many others a second chance at life in your world instead of our own but still..."
Said pokemon looked down to see a female spirit with long flowing blond hair, a green stripped bang that was swept to the side, and red-violet eyes sitting on the granite white steps leading up to his seat.
"(I do...Lady Milla Maxwell,)" he said to the young woman. "(You, too, should have faith in them. After all, some of them are the same ones you have once traveled with and fought against.)"
"I have no need to worry about them. However, I know that they have their own limitations and could still die at any given moment of time..." Milla quietly stated. "It's others you've brought over. They could perish...again...as well."
Arceus closed his eyes. "(I know you are worried about them just as much as I am, but we can only hope and pray at this point. Believe in them...)" he said. "(For now, we shall continue to watch over them from here, and my children will do what they can down there.)"
Milla said nothing but nod in agreement with the legendary god pokemon.
*Somewhere in the Pokemon World*
Inside of a dark room, there were four silhouetted figures sitting around a large table above a dim light that hung above from the ceiling fan. Located at the head, a man with slicked back hair and sunglasses spoke. "Is there any particular reason why you three came all the way out here in Orre to meet up with me in person when you could've just done either of the following: call, text, or email?" he started tapping his index finger on the closed lid of his laptop, that was sitting right next to him, absentmindedly.
The figure on the right and sitting down next to a half-asleep strangely colored Zangoose said, "Mr. Wesker...I have the data and extra information you kindly asked for."
Albert Wesker took note of the stack of papers in their hand and stiffly nodded.
"Good Miss Iris. Turn it in and you along with your Zangoose are dismissed. I'm sure your leader might be in need of your presence for something."
Iris, who had black-orange hair and orange eyes, stood up from her seat and walked over to the man then handed the files to him. Zangoose let out a yawn and stood up with a stretch before spotting his trainer, who was now waiting by the door. Knowing how impatient his trainer can get, he ran over to the door just as the young teen left and closed it behind him.
The only two people now remaining in the room was Wesker and the other person who had red hair with blue-green streaks and brown eyes.
"Now Mr. Tyran, what's this urgent news wanted to discuss with me about?"
"Well..."
"Speak up now. You're wasting my time here. I do have other matters I need to attend to after this."
"I hardly doubt it was anything important from that creepy ass smile you had on earlier and laughing quietly at whatever you were looking at on your computer. To be honest, I really don't want to know. Hell, you could be spying on some poor unfortunate soul or...*cough*someone*cough*...or looking up inappropriate things if that suspicious hard-to-see-and-almost-nonexistent-blush I saw on your face for a split second meant anything. Though, I wouldn't be too surprised if that was the case. You could pass as one of those types of creeps..."
"What?"
"Uhh, I said it must be pretty important if you're trying to rush me with my news. But, I totally understand since I have my own matters I need to get to later on as well. Oh! You have a nice smile by the way. Great laugh too!"
-Silence-
'Is it just me or did this room all of sudden become cold?'
"...I'm going to pretend I didn't hear all of that..."
'...Shit...'
"Carry on Mr. Tyran."
"Excuse me?"
"..."
'And now it almost feels like the North Pole...'
"The news you have for me (you airheaded fool)?"
"Oh yeah! That!"
"..."
"I don't know how you'll react to this sir, but do you remember the strange girl with a sickle-like horn on her head?"
"The one with raven colored hair and heterochromatic eyes? Yes, I remember her..." Wesker answered with a drawl. "But why are you worried about a woman that's working in the same organization you're employed to? Your fellow colleagues do not concern me nor should the work you do."
"Actually sir...this does, somewhat, concern you in a way. Also, that blasted chick took the legendary we had in our possession, destroyed everything that we worked on in that base, and fled from the city."
-Silence-
...
...
...
...
"Pardon?"
"There's...umm...something else you should know too. It has to do with the small project you came to us with!" Tyran added nervously and quickly looked down, slightly cringing in fear when the temperature of room dropped to what it felt like below zero.
Even though he couldn't see the man's eyes behind those shades of his, he could sure feel them on him.
"Here's what went down..."
+++++xXxXx+++++
By the time Tyran was done explaining things to him, Wesker was left in a foul mood. Despite being calm and collected on the outside, the blond haired man was boiling mad and about ready to rip his hair out on the inside.
"Thank you for telling me this..." he sighed and continued with a firm look directed towards the older teen. "On such a short notice that is."
Tyran shrunk back from the man with a nervous laugh. "So umm...what should I do-"
"Leave me..."
"What?"
"Leave me."
"Uhh, Mr. Wesker-"
"Boy! Are deaf or just plain fucking stupid? I said leave me!" Wesker all but shouted, scaring the crap out of Tyran. "I do not enjoy repeating myself a second time let alone a third!"
"..."
"Varshin is going to find himself one member short in his precious little organization if his Admin doesn't hop his little happy ass out of my chair-"
The red and blue-green streaked haired boy paled and quickly stood to his feet then fled from the room before the man could even finish his sentence.
It was silent once again, but Wesker didn't mind it at all. In fact, he welcomed it. With the position he's in, the man deserved a little break away from his men, despite how incompetent some of them were, every once in a while, including his allies.
'That black haired child is going to become a real problem in the future. I just know it...' Wesker took off his shades and placed them down on the desk then leaned back into his chair with his eyes closed. 'But that's okay. I could always crush her myself if she starts to become a thorn in my side…just like all the others who tried to stop me.'
(FLASHBACK SCENE)
Rumbles of many mini explosions could be heard throughout the dark, hollow walls of some underground laboratory in the region of Reize Maxia along with the alarm signal.
"The self-destruct sequence has been activated. Repeat, the self-destruct sequence has been activated. This sequence may not be aborted. All employees proceed to the emergency car at the bottom platform!"
Up ahead, a silhouette of a man wearing sunglasses commanded his pokemon, a bigger than normal Gengar wearing his Mega Stone inside of a silver bracelet on his left wrist, to use Hyper Beam on the ceiling right in front of another person and their pokemon behind him.
"Gengar!" the Shadow Pokemon fired a dark purplish-black beam at the spot.
The whole ceiling came down and crushed the two that tried to move out of way seconds ago.
"All employees proceed to the emergency at the bottom platform!" the alarm rang in the background.
"Damn you Wesker! You won't get away with this! There will be others out there to take you down!" a tall and buff man with long dirty blond hair, blue eyes, and a scar on his forehead coughed as blood began to pool underneath him. The pressure from the heavy debris was cutting off the air circulation from his windpipe, making it harder for him to breathe let alone talk.
"You wish Champion. You have served your purpose. Your men don't stand a chance against me as they, too, will be taken down along with that bothersome Exodus Group," Wesker laughed as he saw the man's eyes widened.
The blond haired man then smirked at seeing the Champion's Aggron roar at him in anger. He silently took out his pokeball and called out another pokemon of his.
"What the...!" the dirty blond haired man croaked and his eyes widened further at the sight of a tall and dark fox pokemon with a long ponytail. However, there seemed to be something off about it aside from being a shiny. "Oh shit!" he cursed, which was really out of character for him but still...
"Please exterminate these two Zoroak," Wesker said before he and Gengar ran/flew off.
"Zor..."
"W-Wait! P-Please don't d-do this! Spare us!"
The Illusion Fox Pokemon ignored the bleeding man's plea on the ground and wordlessly lifted his arm high in the air. The pokemon smirked as his claw started to glow a deep crimson color, and he swung it down.
"Please don't-AAAAAAAAAHHH!"
"AAAAAAGGGRON!"
Two blood curling screams echoed off the walls as a mountain of blood splattered everywhere, showering the hall in a mess of red.
"Repeat. All employees proceed to the emergency at the bottom platform!"
+++++xXxXx+++++
Wesker and Gengar, who were walking down the dirt path outside, smirked in unison at the sound they heard and stopped right in their tracks.
"Nice work…" he smoothly commented right when Zoroak appeared next to them. 'Self-destruct in 5...
4...
3...
2...
1...'
The laboratory base far behind them exploded and went up in flames. Smoke darkened the skies as the cries of evil laughter could be heard all throughout the night.
(END OF FLASHBACK SCENE)
A dark smile appeared on Wesker's lips at the memory, and he opened his now golden-red eyes that turned a deep crimson color.
'Yes...just like him, the former Champion of Reize Maxia, Nachitgal.'
With a small hum, the man placed his shades back on and opened his computer back up.
'Now then...where was I? Ah yes...'
Not even a minute later and Wesker was already back to working on whatever he was researching or typing up earlier before the interruption, the familiar sound of tapping keys lulling him into a sense of peace and relaxation. Although he wasn't going to admit it, the blond really needed this, especially after the load of Tauros shit that was dumped on him by Tyran.
*Somewhere in the Elympios Region*
It was late in the evening yet the night was still young as many people were walking around and hitting the stores or other places on different strips such as hotels with casinos inside, bars, small restaurants, and parks in Renimos City. Unfortunately, the one person who was known throughout this city and owned a special hunting business, Devil May Cry, was not out and about like he normally was.
Instead, he was at home with his brother and many of his friends, locked in a tight Mario Kart 8 match against his opponent and eating pizza with chicken wings, sauce, and breadsticks.
"Damn it Old Man! Quit cheating!"
"I'm not cheating Kid. You just suck that's all."
"We'll see who sucks once I use this!"
"Oh c'mon! What the hell Kid? I almost caught up to Yoshi!"
"Nice one Nero."
"Thanks Kyrie."
"How lucky of you to get an item like that with the place you were in."
"There goes your spot from 2nd place Dante."
"Patty's right, you're slipping."
"Not you too Trish."
"Ready to lose Old Man?"
"Keep dreaming Kid. This match is mine. Hey Verge! Aren't going to cheer me on?"
"No."
"Aww, that's cold Bro."
The elder silver-white haired twin ignored his younger brother as he leaned back into the couch he sat on, which was situated in front of the group playing on the carpet floor, to read the book he had in his hands.
"Seriously, Verge-"
"I said no Dante!" Vergil shut him down, his eyes never leaving the page as he grabbed a slice of his supreme pizza sitting next to him and took a small bite.
Before the blue devil could turn the page of his book, he felt the presence of familiar auras along with a bright light appear in room. Vergil and the others looked up in time to see their friends and pokemon drop down on them.
"Hey you guys!" Patty wheezed out.
"Maybe this was a bad idea," Claire said with sheepish laugh.
Indeed it was as the room now became cramped with too many people. They barely had any room to move around let alone breathe comfortably.
"(I think Rayquaza should leave since he's the biggest one in here,)" Gallade suggested.
"That would be best," Lady agreed while Victini and Lycanroc silently nodded their head.
"I will get the door," Vergil sat his book and pizza down then carefully stood up from the mass of bodies and walked over to the front door.
Rayquaza slowly uncurled and untangled himself from around the group then made his way over to the older half-demon who opened the door for him.
"(I will see you all another time,)" the legendary serpent called over his shoulder and flew out.
Vergil shut the door closed and walked back to the others that managed to get to their feet.
"Welcome back Lady. I see you and Claire brought someone new with you," Trish looked down at the small psychic/fire legendary with slight interest.
ACHOO!
"Aahh!"
"Are you alright Lady?!" a few of them asked with wide eyes, staring at the young woman who almost fell over if it wasn't for Vergil.
The only answer she could give them was a few sniffs and a small sneeze as she laid there in the blue devil's arms, too weak to even push herself off the man.
"You're wet..." Vergil narrowed his eyes as the dampness from Lady's cloak started to seep into his vest, and he leaned down to place his forehead against hers. "And, you have a fever as well…" he added with a small frown, completely ignoring her blush, as he moved his head away.
"This is exactly why she's going upstairs to strip and change into something dry and warm..." Claire said before the young raven haired woman could even speak up. "Trish, you are helping me," she looked in the direction of the blond haired demon then at Vergil. "Take her to one of the back rooms. We will follow you shortly."
"Can I come too?"
The whole room became silent at that.
BANG!
A body in a black shirt fell to the ground with a loud thud on top of a red jacket.
"Thank you for that Nero."
"My pleasure."
"..."
"My foolish little brother never learns."
The others couldn't help but nod in agreement.
"So..."
"..."
"Anybody wanna go down to the bar for a few hours and have a couple of drinks?"
-Silence-
"I'll pass."
"Same."
"Sure. I'm game."
"I might as well tag along. Someone has to keep an eye on y'all."
"Alright. Now who's paying?"
-Silence...again-
"Put it on Dante's tab."
AN: What did you think of this one-shot? Was it crazy or not crazy enough? Or, what it not crazy at all?
I also left the ending open-ended and up to your guys' interpretations, so let your imaginations *cough*theories*cough* run wild! xD
Uhhh...^^0 I also might need to work on my humor a little bit more since I feel like this could've been a lot funnier, but that's just me. Though, I will admit that it sounded hilarious in my head before I wrote it down on paper. Then again, humor is pretty subjective and quite difficult to capture. Everyone has different tastes in what they do and do not find funny. Some may find this appealing while others may not.
Still, I hope you guys found this a little amusing and got some enjoyment out of reading it.
As always, I highly encourage some type of feedback/opinions/comment/constructive criticism. It would be appreciated. No flames though. They're not welcomed.