A/N: Hello guys! This is my very first fanfiction, and it is titled "Now or Never." Please bear with me because I am only an amateur when it comes to writing, but I do try my best. Also, I do not know any specific firefighting terms, so please forgive me when I make a mistake. I will try to update one chapter per week because of school, but if I get one done in less than a week, I will upload it as soon as possible. If you guys also have a chance to review, that would be great! I would love to hear all of your thoughts and opinions.
Warning: Just to be on the safe side, this fanfic is Rated M. This fanfic includes some coarse language, and eventually, sexual content.
"Good morning Seattle! It is 7:15 am here on 95.8 FM. I am your host Rufus Turner, and today is Thursday, September 18, 2008. It is currently 52° with clear skies, but it will warm up to 71° by this after—'' Dean turned the radio off as he grabbed his coffee to leave for work. He headed out his apartment and saw Andy with a glare. Dean knew that this was his third time being late this week.
"What the hell, dude?" Andy complained. Apparently, he had been waiting for Dean for about 15 minutes.
"I'm sorry, dude. I pressed snooze again," Dean replied. "I promise I won't do it again tomorrow." Andrew rolled his eyes; he was tired of picking up Dean for the past few days because apparently his "baby" needed some fixing.
"Dude, why don't you just buy a new car? That crap had been through hell, and plus it's almost 40 years old," Andy suggested. Dean scowled; he looked right into Andy's eyes with a cold stare. His "baby" was apparently the closest thing he had as family after Sam lost himself three years ago.
"Don't even get me started, Gallagher," Dean warned. He wanted to grab his chin and pinch it, but it was not the right time to do it because they were about to be late.
"I'm sorry, Dean," Andrew apologized, and then he started driving. Most people at the firehouse feared Dean. Apparently, he had anger issues. Andrew thought he had family issues, not anger issues. When he was four years old, his mother died in a house fire. No one figured out how it happened, but Dean speculated that it was his father's fault. His father was a smoker, and his mother always told him not to smoke inside, but he always disobeyed. He probably smoked inside the house that night, and accidentally put an unfinished cigarette in the trash. Months after the fire, his father became and alcoholic. There came a time when he left his children with Bobby, a family friend. Since then, Dean had always hated his father. Who was he to abandon his children? It was just merciless and cruel. About two years after the house fire, his father committed suicide. He shot himself with a gun at a bar in Denver and left a note for Bobby in the backseat of his car, which read: "I didn't choose to die, God did. Just take care of my boys, please." Nobody knew what the first sentence meant, but one thing for sure he just wanted the best for his then, Bobby drove the car, in which he passed to Dean.
After the suicide, Dean's life became much easier. Bobby got the boys to finish high school, and he sent Dean to college to become a firefighter and Sam to law school. But about three years ago, after Sam just got into law school, he started getting nightmares, headaches, and he saw things others couldn't see. Dean thought the cause of his condition was his first case on the job. He helped out on a case that involved an alcoholic man who was physically and sexually abusing his children. The case probably reminded Sam of his father and childhood, except the case was harsher than his. A year after his condition started, he went into a coffee shop in Boise and started shooting guns at the "thing" that everyone else couldn't see. Luckily, no one got shot or injured, but he was taken by the police for questioning. Sam told them the truth, and two days after, he was sent into an asylum for a mental disorder. Dean visited him at least once a month, and Sam always said the same old thing, "I'm not crazy." Dean always agreed with him, but deep inside, he thought that Sam had gone psycho.
When Dean and Andy arrived at the fire station, Ruby ran towards them and she looked for presents. She raised an eyebrow, "Where the hell are the presents?" Dean raised his eyebrow and Andy looked down.
"Dammit! We forgot!" Andy bellowed. Andy reached down his pocket to grab his wallet. Dean still looked confused; he didn't know what the hell was going on.
"Dean," Ruby said while she gave Dean an uncomfortable stare, "aren't you gonna give something to Benny?"
"What about Benny? Is it his birthday or something?" Dean asked, and then Andy hit his own forehead. He forgot to tell Dean that it was Benny's last day of work. He gave Ruby a funny smile and then turned towards Dean. He scratched his head and smiled widely.
"Uh…I kinda forgot to tell you that today is Benny's last day," he mentioned. Dean looked shocked because he thought Benny wasn't supposed to leave until October. Dean frowned at Andy, and then he suddenly dug in his pocket to grab his wallet. He gave Ruby $50 and Andy gave her $40.
"Thanks, guys. I'll wrap them individually," Ruby approved. She walked out of the boys and got into the kitchen. Dean could smell the scent of scrambled eggs and toast. He turned to Andy and punched him in the arm. He was not happy with what he had done.
"What was that for?" Andy asked as he started to pet his arm. Dean stared at him for a brief moment, and then he turned around and patted his back.
"That's for not telling me. I could've got him something special. Now come on, let's get some breakfast," Dean answered. Then, the two boys headed to the kitchen where everything was disorganized and messy. Clearly, Dean knew who was cooking. She is no good cook, and she never learned how to clean up.
"Hey, guys! Why don't you go set up the table," Pam requested. Pamela Barnes was one of Seattle Fire Department's best firefighters. She definitely worked her ass off to get the job. However, she took it the wrong way. She tricked her parents that she was working at a restaurant to pay for her schooling at the UW (she was supposed to take pre-med). But, she didn't, she worked as an intern at the fire station. Her parents were very overprotective of her, and they didn't want her to become a firefighter because of safety reasons. But one day, her aunt's house caught on fire and her parents changed their minds when she saved her aunt from the fire.
"Hey, good looking!" Andy whispered in Pam's ear as he drew her into a soft kiss. Andy had been dating Pam for almost a year, and Dean understood how it happened. Andy was into girls that were tough in nature, and without a doubt Pam was one. Muscles, tramp stamp, perky ass, he couldn't ask for a hotter girlfriend.
It annoyed Dean that a geek like Andy could get a girlfriend, though Dean wasn't into girls. Dean had always been gay, and everyone he knew seemed to accept it. But unfortunately, the world he was living in wasn't as acceptable as he thought it would. All he wanted was to live an apple-pie life with his husband and probably a couple kids, but in the world he lived in, the dream was blurry. But Dean was still looking for that special someone that would light up his world and make him feel like he was the last person standing on Earth.
Dean cleared his throat. "Guys, stop making out! We gotta make this day special for Benny."
"Oh shit!" Pam cried as she pushed Andy away. Apparently, she was too busy making out that she forgot about the eggs. The eggs were burning and it made an awful smell around the kitchen.
"Dammit! Now I have to do it again!" she yelled. Andy put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her away from the stove.
"It's okay, babe. I'll just make breakfast," Andy said calmly. "Just go set the table with Dean."
Pam stared at Dean, who was smiling. She turned to Andy with watery eyes to apologize. Pam might have been a tough girl, but she could win an Oscar for best actress. It was one of those things she did to get what she wanted.
"I'm sorry," she confessed quietly. "I've always wanted to know how to cook, and every time I try, I always seem to mess up."
"Hey, hey, it's okay," Andy assured as he walked towards her. "I can teach you how to cook if that's what you want."
Ruby walked into the kitchen with her palm covering her mouth and nose. She looked at the stove where the pan of scrambled eggs was sitting, and then Dean came across her.
"Okay, what the hell is going on?" she asked while glaring at the two lovebirds who smooched their way to the table.
"Well, Pam here is about to win an Oscar for best actress," Dean replied. "She was too busy smooching over there that she didn't notice her eggs burning."
"You two!" Ruby yelled. "Stop it! If you need a room, get one! Benny will be here in less than ten minutes, and we need to get some shit done."
The two left the kitchen and took their session somewhere else. Ruby disposed the burnt eggs and grabbed a new pan to make something else. Ruby was the best cook in the house, and every time she made dinner, everyone asked for more. Dean wondered what she was going to make. It must've been special because that day was Benny's last day. She tilted her head and looked at Dean for a brief moment.
"Hey, are you okay? You seem down," Ruby asked.
Dean looked down at the floor for a while before he looked up to answer, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just going to miss Benny, you know. He's always been right beside me for the past four years, and now he's leaving. It's not fair!"
Ruby sighed while Dean stared at ground, again, while he fiddled with his thumbs. She could sense that Dean wasn't just going to miss Benny. Benny was Dean's mentor, and he saved his life six times in the past four years. It was just overwhelming for him to see his mentor leave.
"I thought you were going to be fine with this?" Ruby asked. She walked towards Dean to give him a hand. He was biting his lip and rubbing his eyes dry. Dean started crying, when suddenly someone entered the kitchen.
"Dean, are you okay?" Kevin worried. He set down his cake on the counter and ran to Dean to see what was going on.
Dean was hugging Ruby, and she was rubbing his back to let him feel that everything was going to be okay. Ruby widened her eyes at Kevin to tell him that she could handle Dean by herself. Kevin did as told, and he placed the cake in the fridge before he left.
"Was that Benny?" Dean sniffled. He let go of Ruby and the two stood up. Benny wasn't just a mentor to Dean, he was the one. Since day one, Dean developed a crush on Benny. It wasn't just like a high school crush that lasted for a week; this crush lasted for four years. But unfortunately, in their four years together, Dean never had the guts to tell him how he felt. Dean never had a real boyfriend even though he was 29 years old. He once had a fling with a paramedic, but he turned out to be a straight-ass jerk.
"Dean, if you really like him, then why don't you tell him. He ain't gonna bite," Ruby suggested. She was acting very nice, which was unusual for her. She was the kind who backed off people's lives, but when it came to Dean, she had to be there. She knew that Dean went through a lot of crap, and if his problems weren't solved, well Dean could possibly do something terrible.
"You don't understand, Ruby. This is Benny, my mentor. I just can't say that I like him and I would like to get into his pants," Dean explained with a confused look on his face.
"Well, it's up to you." Ruby shrugged. "He's not moving out of the city, you know. To tell you the truth, I think you're taking this too personally. Here's some advice. If you like him, then you need to man up and tell him so."
Dean smiled, "Thanks, Ruby."
"That wasn't really help, but yeah you're welcome," Ruby replied as she patted Dean's back and made gave him a big hug. "Now let's make this day special for Benny."
As the daylight turned into night, Dean hadn't told Benny what he felt yet. The celebration had been going on for almost two hours. It was 9:38 pm and Benny's shift was about to end in half an hour.
Other than Dean, everyone else was having a good time. Pam was cuddled in Andy's arms, Kevin was playing Playstation with Ruby, and Chief Henricksen was having a good conversation with Benny. Dean just sat down fiddling with his amulet that Sam gave to him when he was twelve years old. He wondered: What if Benny's straight? What if he doesn't love me back? What on Earth should I do? If he really wanted Benny, he would stand up and talk to him in the next half an hour. At least that was what Ruby told him. Besides, he wouldn't find out if he didn't tell him.
With that thought, Dean stood up so he could tell Benny how much he cared. Ruby made Kevin pause the game for a brief moment. It was actually good timing because he needed to go to the bathroom. Dean looked at Ruby who worded: "Get go get 'em, tiger!" Dean winked at her, and before he knew it, he was in the middle of Benny and Henricksen's conversation.
"Can I help you, Winchester?" Henricksen asked. Both of the boys were staring at Dean, and at a distance Ruby was watching the whole thing happen. Dean was speechless, and he couldn't find the right words to say. His hands were sweating, and his legs were jiggling like jelly. But before he knew it, Henricksen got ahead.
"Let me guess, you want to share your last words with Laffite here," he uttered. Dean nodded yes, and then Henricksen got off the couch so the two boys could get some time together.
Henricksen walked towards Ruby and the two watched Dean and Benny make a moment with a wide smile on their faces.
"Winchester, glad you can say something to me before I leave," Benny smirked. Dean was stuttering for a while, trying to find the words to say when all of a sudden Benny placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean flinched. Was this the moment he was waiting for? Suddenly, he could feel Benny's hand making its way to Dean's back. Dean's flinching didn't seem to matter to Benny, but instead Benny drew closer into Dean, who was sweating. Dean's heart was going one hundred miles a second. It was a good thing, this was what he wanted.
Dean got off of Benny's touch. Benny was perplexed, "I thought you wanted this, Dean."
Dean was gazing into Benny's eyes. It was blue like the morning sky. Dean liked men with blue eyes because he thought that their eyes could make the rain go away. Plus, he thought that it popped out easily. In that particular moment, Dean could see his future in Benny's eyes. He drew closer into Benny's space, and then he placed his hand on Benny's cheek. Dean felt the warmth of his face, and then he grabbed his shirt to pull him for a small, tender kiss. Benny gave in, putting his hand on Dean's lap. In that moment, every worry Dean had suddenly disappeared.
"I want you, Benny," Dean whispered into his ear. Benny nodded his head yes, and he kissed Dean back as his hand travelled from his lap to his ass.
Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing to see what was going on between Dean and Benny. Ruby and Henricksen were smiling and so were Andy and Pam. When Kevin entered the lounge, his jaw dropped.
"Jesus Christ!" he hollered. Ruby hit him in the crotch. He grunted in pain, and everyone, except for the two boys, laughed.
"Sorry," Kevin apologized, "I didn't know that Dean liked Benny."
The five left the lounge to give the two boys privacy when suddenly the siren turned on.
"Firehouse 28, truck 12. Massive house fire at 693 16th Ave. East. Fire is known to be started in the basement."
The two boys broke the make out session. "My last case before I leave this place," Benny said quietly as he held Dean's hand. Then, they ran to the equipment room to get geared up.
Kevin drove as fast as he could. Because every time the station had a massive house fire, Andy started praying. The location was still six minutes away, but the group heard that trucks 17 and 50 were already there putting the fire away, and they just needed back up.
"I wonder what happened," Pam pondered. She looked outside the window and saw a huge, black smoke in the air. They were getting closer and closer. Dean started preparing the hoses and Ruby advised everyone to start wearing their hats.
Kevin parked the truck and everyone got out of the truck. The beautiful, dreadful sight was the biggest house fire they've ever seen.
"Holy fucking shit!" Andy fretted. The five didn't move until Henricksen and Ruby got instructions from the other trucks' chiefs since it was a massive house fire.
"Fitzgerald! What the hell is going on?" Henricksen yelled through the chaos surrounding.
Garth turned to Henricksen and Ruby, "There was a house party in there full of teenagers. It was supposed to be some kind of homecoming, but it just turned into a fucking mess. When one of the bands was performing, one of its fans lit up a firecracker like it was the fucking Chinese New Year. Before they knew it, the walls started on fire. "
"Kids these days with their bullshit," Ruby complained. "Look! They even had strippers."
"What do you want us to do then, Fitzgerald? We got five others," Henricksen asked.
Garth smiled. "We could use at least three more people in the house. There are still about 25 people in there. The other two can put out the fire in the garage. The fire in the house is just too fucking big that we didn't really pay attention to the garage. And you two can help the paramedics over there."
Ruby hurried over to the five clueless maggots. They looked like idiots because they were firefighters who just stood there like kindergarteners during a fire drill. Benny was holding on to Dean's hand tightly. He was scared for the first time.
The five looked at Ruby like she just peed herself in public. Every time there was a massive house fire, Ruby always had the tendency to talk faster than the speed of light. "Winchester, Laffite, and Gallagher, get the hell in there and save some asses. The other trucks are working on the fire. Barnes and Tran, you see that garage over there that's completely on fire? Yeah, take care of that bad boy. And when you two are done, Henricksen and I could use extra hands with the victims."
"Got it!" the five shouted. Pam and Kevin rushed to the nearest hydrant, and the other three ran into the smoky inferno that reached over 50 feet.
"What time is it, bud?" Benny asked Dean, he was scared as hell. Getting inside a house that was covered in flames over 50 feet was definitely something to fear about.
"10:08 pm, Benny," Dean answered. "Let's get this show on the road!"
As soon as the three entered the house, they instantly split. Benny went upstairs, Andy got the main floor, and Dean went down to the basement. They weren't the only ones in the house; there were about five other men from the other trucks. This was it. It was now or never; they had to save as many people as they could in less than eight minutes before things got ugly.
The upstairs was completely burned down. Doors were torn apart and the ceiling was completely black. There were barely any flames, except the fact that the windows were still on fire. The upstairs was pretty small. It had two doors of bedrooms and a bathroom. Benny was screaming at the top of his lungs to make sure that there were no people. He didn't hear anything at first, but after he heard a small, high-pitched groan, there had to be someone up there. But no one was upstairs with him; the others were either with Andy or Dean downstairs. Benny heard it coming from the ceiling. What the hell? There had to be some kind of attic.
"I'm coming!" he yelled to the ceiling. He pulled out a ladder that was flat on the ground. As he pulled the door, the flames were getting thicker and thicker. The fire stretched throughout the attic, and he knew that it wasn't safe for him to save the guy up there. He wondered why a person would be in the attic during a house party in the first place. Despite all the second guessing he made, he had to risk it and save the man's life, it was his job.
The man was lying down on the old, dusty floor. He was half-naked and he wore socks that had snowflakes. He was a stripper. He was covered in ashes, and he was coughing. Luckily, he was not burnt in any way, but he needed a breather before his time came. Benny grabbed him, and he took him out of the attic before the fire there got worse. The coughing man kept Benny from going down the ladder, and Benny was getting exhausted from running in the heat. He had to save the man, so he decided to give the man his oxygen mask since he forgot to bring an extra. As soon as he landed down the ladder, he dropped, and so did the other man.
Dean got out of the house and saved another person. It was his fifth save of the night. Andy and Henricksen looked at him watering eyes. Dean knew that something was going on, something bad. Dean tried to smile it off because saving people always gave him a sense of power and happiness, but not for long.
"Have you seen Benny yet?" Andy asked. He was panting and his eyes were getting more watery. Henricksen looked very concerned.
"No," Dean answered, "why is he okay?"
"We don't know. It has been 14 minutes, and he still hasn't come back," Henricksen said. He was holding on to his two-way radio just in case Benny would answer.
"We tried to reach him, but he didn't answer," Andy added, he took his hat off. He was done for the night and so was Dean. They were exhausted, and they were wandering around the house for almost fifteen minutes. But something had to be done, someone hadto save Benny.
"Holy shit!" Dean cried. He started to cry. He put his hat back on, and ran towards the building to save Benny. Henricksen pulled his arm, and Dean tried to let go.
"Winchester, you are not going in there! It's way too dangerous!" Henricksen warned. He was holding on to Dean's arm very hard that Dean could feel the pain. He wasn't risking it. If two of his men died that night, everything would change.
Dean managed to let go of Henricksen's arm. He faced them with tears streaming down his face. His body was shaking, and he was panting like he just ran a marathon. The smoky haze made him cough and cry. Dean was not a pretty sight at that moment.
"Less than an hour ago, I met the love of my life, and now, he's about to die. What if that was your wife in there, Henricksen? You would do anything to save her, right? Please, Henricksen, just give me two minutes. I know he's upstairs. I'll bring him back," Dean sobbed. There was a moment of silence. Henricksen gave him a new radio, and then he nodded to approve Dean's request.
"Thank you," Dean sniffled. He ran to the house as fast as he could. Andy turned to Henricksen with discontent. Andy thought that he was making a huge mistake. He could die, his best friend could die, but he was in the heat of the moment and he was unstoppable.
Ashes, ashes. That was all Dean could see. Ashes. If Benny died, he'd turn into ashes. Dean shook the thought off. Benny was alive. He had to be alive. Dean was in a hurry. He was in a hurry that he lost his boot when the steps of the stairs tore down. It was now or never.
As soon as he stepped on the laminated floor, he could hear a small, high-pitched groan. It was not Benny because he knew he made lower noises, but it sounded like someone who needed a breather. In the dark, thick smoke Dean saw another man wearing Benny's oxygen mask and Benny was right beside him, unconscious. Dumbfounded and bewildered, Dean ran towards them. The other man was half-naked, and Benny was lying right beside him. Dean got closer to him to check pulse. Nothing. They needed to get the hell out before Benny's lungs die.
Dean, with all his strength, carried Benny. The man was over 200 pounds, but he had to get him out. He forced the other man to stand up, but he couldn't, he had to be carried because he was feeling lightheaded. Dean didn't want to leave the poor man alone, but he was running out of time and he could hear Henricksen on the radio. Dean had no choice, so he ran to the exit and left the poor man alone. It was a rough exit. The ceiling was starting to fall, and Dean had to jump over the missing steps of the stairs. On top of that, he was carrying a heavy man. But before he knew it, he was out of the house. He ran to Henricksen, and gave him Benny to take care of. Dean didn't want to be rude, but he had to get the poor man out of the inferno. Sure, he was a stripper, but in the way he acted, he deserved another chance.
Dean was in the heat of the moment once more. Would he come back to rescue the poor man, or would he stay and do what he originally planned? He made his decision in less than a second. He ran to the house once more to save the poor man. Henricksen tried to stop him, but Dean left as if he had some kind of adrenaline rush. Henricksen tried to talk to him on the radio, but he was not answering.
As a firefighter, it was Dean's responsibility to save as many people as he could, but he was crossing the line. He should've been out five minutes ago. He looked at his watch, and it was exactly 10:30 pm. He had been in the house for almost half an hour, but it was the risk he was taking. If he couldn't save Benny from dying, he had to save the other man.
The stairs were uglier than it was when he got Benny out, but he managed. As soon as he stepped on the laminated floor once more, he ran towards the other man and carried him. The other man was smaller than Benny, and he was a lot lighter.
The man held on to Dean's chest, and he was trying to catch his breath. When Dean got down the stairs, he took out his and the other man's mask since the smoke wasn't as bad downstairs. He looked at him in the eyes. His eyes were blue and watery and his face was covered in ashes.
"What's your name?" Dean asked. He needed to let the man feel that everything was going to be alright because on the way down, he was shaking and grabbing onto Dean so tight.
"C-Castiel," he murmured. He was coughing, and his eyes were starting to close.
"I didn't really hear that, but I will get you out of here, and everything will be okay," Dean promised.
Dean put his and the other man's mask back on, and he squeezed the light man tightly in his arms. Then, he made his way out of the house. He wasn't looking forward to Henricksen's lecture out there, but in the end, it was worth it.
Sorry if this chapter was long. The next chapter will be up next weekend. Also, if you have the time, please review. Thanks for reading.