Sam snorted at one of Sock's lame jokes and took a swig of beer. "You know what, Sam? You've had too many beers if you thought that was funny." Sock leaned over the table, toward Sam and snatched away his half-empty mug of Sam Adams. He lifted the cup to his face and drank what little remained, then licked his lips and sighed heartily. "Yeah. Too many beers." Ben scoffed and pushed his glass away. "Somebody's got to drive." He shrugged.
They made their way out into the parking lot, not necessarily drunk, but not 100 sober either. Sam shifted his eyes to the side, where he caught a shadow moving. Around the corner and into the alley aside the Brick House, a hand stretched out alongside the wall and gestured for Sam to come over with a single finger.
Sam exhaled tiredly and hunched over, "I'll be right back" he said, holding back a burp. He made his way over, turned the corner and suddenly an arm wrapped around his shoulders.
"Had a little too much to drink, Sammy?" Said the Devil, who walked Sam down the alleyway until Sam realized he wasn't in the alley anymore. They stood in front of a house on a darkened street.
"Where are we?" Sam asked, slightly disoriented by the sudden change of surroundings. The Devil snickered and gently knocked on Sam's forehead. "Anyone home? It's Andi's house." He chuckled, laying his hand on Sam's shoulder and motioning his other to point at the house they stood in front of.
Sam had to squint and push his face forward to see better. "Oh. Yeah, I knew that." He laughed, avoiding eye contact with his boss.
"Why are we here then?"
The Devil pointed at a tree in Andi's front yard and then they suddenly appeared under it. "Stop doing that!" Sam shook his head.
"Up there." The Devil looked up, as did Sam. Only to find your average, everyday black housecat sitting perched on a branch.
"You… brought me here to see a cat stuck up in a tree?" Sam turned to the Devil and stared at him with inquisition. The Devil smirked and tilted his head to the side.
"No. Don't be stupid. I brought you here to get the cat out of the tree." Satan laughed and gestured for Sam to hurry up.
Sam slouched forward and furrowed his brow. "You're not serious."
"Oh as a matter of fact, Sammy. I am quite serious. Remember, I own you and you'll damn well get that cat out of the tree if I tell you to; and if I'm not mistaken, I just did, so chop, chop!"
Sam sighed with disgust and attempted to climb the tree. The Devil snorted a quiet laugh as Sam wrapped one leg around the tree and clumsily tried at pulling his weight up with his arms that bound tightly around the thick trunk.
After about 3 minutes, the Devil finally let out a loud laugh, which startled Sam to the point of falling down and hollering as his back met the hard ground. The cat jumped and hissed, landing on Sam's chest and walking away with it's tail whipping back and forth.
"Oh Sammy, you'll do anything if I tell you to, won't you?" Sam's boss cackled, using his finger to wipe a tear from under his eye.
Sam huffed, sitting up and looking up at the laughing Devil.
Suddenly the porch light from Andi's house flashed on, capturing Sam's attention. When Sam turned back to where the Devil stood, not to his surprise the Devil was gone. "Sam? Is that you?" Andi called out, standing in the doorway. "Uh, yeah!" Sam replied, getting to his feet and shaking his head from his current dizziness.
"What are you doing here?" Andi asked, walking over. Sam shrugged. "I was in the neighborhood and decided to stop by?" His attempt at giving an answer didn't do anything but leave Andi with a curious look stamped upon her face.
"Really? It's…" she lifted her wrist to her face and rolled up her sleeve. "11:00 o' clock."
"It is? Wow. I didn't even notice… I uh… man, I'm drunk." Sam smiled.
"Come on, I was just putting in 28 Weeks Later. I wouldn't mind company. Nobody's home so I've got the house to myself." Andi said as she walked Sam into the house.
Sam and Andi snuggled together on the couch in Andi's darkened living room in front of the flashing TV. Andi had fallen asleep, alongside Sam who stuffed single pieces of popcorn into his mouth, trying to chew quietly so he wouldn't wake his girlfriend.
"Oh isn't this cute?" The Devil appeared, sitting on the arm of the couch, next to Sam. He reached down and took a handful of popcorn, keeping his attention to the TV screen. "Wow. Check out these special effects. So real." Satan gestured to the TV, where a heard of zombies, or as referred to in the movie, "the infected" chased the uninfected while snipers shot down at anything that moved.
Sam looked up at his boss in annoyance, pausing the DVD.
"Hey, I was watching that." The Devil furrowed his brow stuffing more popcorn into his mouth.
"What are you doing here? First you make me get a cat out of the tree and then just leave me here. Now what?"
The Devil chortled and slapped Sam on the shoulder. Andi still lay fast asleep, not waking by the Devil's loud laughter.
"You still think the whole reason I brought you here was to get a cat out of a tree? Boy you're slow." Sam's boss started, tonguing his cheek as he chuckled.
"I figured you needed a little motivational push, but apparently you still don't get it." The Devil added.
"What are you talking about?" Sam held his hands out in a shrug.
The Devil sighed and got to his feet. "I'm tired of pushing you Sam. You're no fun to tempt. You don't even take the hint. I feel for your parents, they didn't know what they were getting into when they had you." He snorted in amusement.
Sam clutched his head and flopped backward into the back of the couch, exhaling a loud, annoyed huff.
"I'm trying to get you laid, Sam!" The Devil gestured his hand to Andi, who still surprisingly slept sound despite Sam and the Devil's not necessarily quiet conversation.
"Why can't you just mind your own business? I'll get laid when I get laid." Sam stared up at the ceiling, his fingers enlaced through his hair.
"I am, Sam. You are my business, need I remind you that I own you." Satan growled, a hint of anger traced in his voice.
"You're becoming an embarrassment to me, Sam. I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up to be the 40 year old virgin! Well, if you didn't know me anyway."
Sam sat up, his mouth slightly agape. "How'd you know I'm a…" his voice trailed off as the Devil interrupted him. "I'm the Devil, Sam! Plus -" The Devil laughed, "it's kind of obvious. I mean look at you. Wallowing in your self pity, being pushed around by those two clods you consider friends."
Sam couldn't shut his mouth. It was as if it had locked itself open.
"First you insult me, then you claim that you're trying to get me laid, and then insult my friends. What is with you! If you wanted to get me laid so badly, you would've done it by now. You're probably just bored and need somebody to annoy to kill time!" Sam exclaimed, standing up now, meeting the Devil at eyelevel.
"Now that's just adorable, standing up for yourself and your friends." The Devil smiled widely, standing 4 inches or so taller than his reaper.
"What do you expect me to do? Just take it? I'm tired of you ragging on me; all you do is pick at all the good qualities I have and try to change them! I'm not you, ok? I'll never be like you, because I am a good person! You may own me, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you change me into something I'm not." Sam, pushed past his boss and marched out the front door. He stopped in his tracks at the walkway to the driveway, when he realized he had no way to get home, and he had just told off his transportation.
The Devil appeared in front of Sam. "Whoa, easy there fella!" He put his hands up as if gesturing to stop.
"All I was trying to do was a nice thing. I don't know where all that other stuff came from, blowing off some steam maybe?"
Sam sighed and paced back and forth.
"Look, I don't want to work for you anymore. I've said it, and now I'm done. I'm just sick and tired of you. Always appearing at the wrong time, poofing me wherever or whenever you want me to be. I'm just tired of it. I lost my father because of you. You are a curse on my life and I want you to go away."
"Well I'm sorry if you feel that way Sam, but you're going to have to continue feeling that way, because I have a contract with your parents and there is no way I can void it unless I take your mother." The Devil explained, tilting his head to the side and raising his brow.
"Oh and about your father…" He added.
"Sam, I am your father." Satan said in a Darth Vader voice and then began laughing hysterically. Sam's jaw dropped in awe, as his arms fell forward and dangled in front of him.
He stammered unable to really process the thought. Of course he had considered that possibility weeks ago, but he never really thought of it to be true.
"Nah, I'm just kidding." The Devil again, slapped Sam on the shoulder. "Hey don't drink too hard tonight, I have a soul for you to catch tomorrow, so be expecting me." He said as he walked down the driveway, disappearing into the darkness.
Sam found himself back with Sock and Ben, as they were walking out of the Brick House and to the car. Ben got in the drivers seat and Sock called shotgun. Sam followed behind, wondering if all that had been a figment of his imagination, and the Devil was just playing with his mind again, or if it'd all really happened and the Devil merely put him 3 or 4 hours back in time before he'd been to Andi's house.
He didn't know, and he didn't care. All he knew was that he wanted to go home, go to bed and not wake up for a long time.