Well I fell in love with Lunny/Linny! It is like the cutest thing ever.
Warnings: Mentions of self harm.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Luna didn't understand, Ginny was her best friend. So why did she blush when Ginny looked at her? Why did she shiver when they touched?
It drove her crazy, she fell asleep tearing at her skin begging her mind to stop imagining that same scene over and over again. She would wake up with tears in her eyes from nightmares of Ginny dying because of her.
It made her bring the blade to her pale skin, because this is not how you think about another girl.
It made her lay in bed for hours, because what if someone found out?
It made her skip meals, because what if Ginny didn't like her body?
It made her bruise her untouched skin, because what if she wasn't good enough?
Ginny had always been told that girls don't date girls, that girls don't think other girls are pretty. She believed, it that is until she met Luna.
It drove her crazy, She fell asleep hugging at her pillow begging her mind to stay awake and play that scene over and over again. She would wake up with tears in her eyes from her nightmares of Luna dying because of her.
It made her smile because this is not how you think about another girl. Yet she was.
It made her snuggle up to Luna in the evenings, because what if someone found out?
It made her practice Quiditch more, made her exercise more, because what if Luna didn't like her body?
It made her try harder at everything, because what if she wasn't good enough?
"Luna!" Ginny called from down the hall, "Wait up!" I stopped in my tracks. Even after five years my heart flutters at the sight of her red hair laying loosely across her small back, She wears old ripped black jeans that fit her curvy form perfectly, and her button down white t-shirt, Her black nose ring glints in the sun, (She had gotten it at the end of last year without her parents permission which gained her a couple months of being grounded). Her face painted with freckles and her arms lined with drawings. For A moment I'm dripped in a daydream, where I would paint her body and draw constellations across her skin.
A searing pain claws it's way from my stomach, bringing me out of my heavy dream world, She doesn't like you like that.
'She Is Your Best Friend' I repeat my mantra for the hundredth time that day
"Hi Ginny." I answer as she sweeps down the hall after me, and despite myself I hope she hugs me.
"How was your holiday?"
"Lovely. Yours?"
"It was fine. Wish you had been there." My mind goes involuntarily foggy.
"Me as well." She smiles, snow flakes caress her loose hair along with a small twig. Without thinking I reach out to brush it away, almost instantly regretting it as the smile fades from her face, I pull back but she grabs my arm. My breath catches and a shiver runs the length of my spine.
She blinks and sucks in a breath, freckles dance across her pale skin, her brown eyes move across my skin and in an instant have found my current cuts which show blood red against my skin.
"I need to talk to you." she says her voice barely audible.
No, she can't know. No one knows. I hold my breath as she leads me into an empty classroom on the fourth floor putting the appropriate spells to lock and soundproof the door and windows.
She turns to me puts her wand in her back pocket and grabs my left arm.
"Luna..." The way my name rolls off of her lips makes me shiver. I yank my arm away. "I saw them weeks ago before I left for Christmas but I didn't think anything of it. Now..." I now what she means I have gotten worse, cutting more often, deeper, bloodier.
"What?" I ask anyway. She takes my arm again and runs her finger over the old and new scars, I shiver at the touch.
She looks up at me tears in her eyes.
"Why?" She asks. I look down at my arm, the scars aren't in orderly lines, they are chaotic in hopes that they will look like accidents.
"What do you mean?" I question softly.
"Don't play dumb with me!" She looks me in the eyes, "Why do you hurt yourself like this?" Her voice is weak and her eyes pleading, she bites her lip and looks down at the pain in my arm.
"I-I don't know." I lie. She looks at me so suddenly that she must have broken her neck.
"Don't lie." I begin to cry because I know I have to tell her and I know she will hate me for it.
"B-because I'm not supposed to think of girls like this, I'm not supposed to dream about that kind of thing!" I say it fast hoping it won't hurt. It does. It feels like the words are dripping in acid, Like I just tried to throw up a killing potion.
Her eyes show her confusion so I continue, "Your my best friend I'm not supposed to think of you as I fall asleep, or-or blush when you look at me-" Her eyes go wide with pain,
"Y-you do this because of me?" I close my eyes, and then she is hugging me and I'm hugging her back, "Please Luna, please never do this again, not because of me. I-I love you Luna."
My whole world turns red. Pain stabs at my heart, guilt clutches my lungs, She hurt herself because of me?
"-I-I love you Luna." As I say it I realize it is true. I love Luna lovegood, and I want to love her.
Then she is shoving me away, and my tears are coming slower, and my heart is getting heavy.
She doesn't love me back.
"N-no! I'm not supposed to think about girls like this!" She is practically screaming, "I'm not supposed to think about you like this!" She looks at me helplessly, "You love me like a friend, but I l-love you differently, I think about you differently."
"I don't think of you like a friend Luna. When I think of you I think of doing this," Then I'm kissing her and she's kissing me, and for a while I don't remember how we got to be kissing or why we were doing so, but I don't care because her lips are soft and salty and our tongues are fighting for dominance and she's winning. Then we are pulling up for air and I remember and smile because damn I finally did it. Then I'm whispering,
"I think about doing this," I kiss a trail down her neck sucking a bit on her collar bone gaining a moan of approval. Her skin is just like I imagined it to be, soft and mysterious, like moonlight on a dark night. "I think about doing this, " I whisper as ask a soft spoken question, and she answers in a kiss of approval I pull up on her shirt, and kiss her scars, run gentle fingers across her bruises,
She sits on a desk in her Ravenclaw Pride bra, and tugs on my shirt asking silent permission, that I quickly grant.
Then we are just looking at each other, her lips are red having just been kissed, her cheeks flushed, her eyes wide, a small bruise forming on her collar bone.
She smiles and my breath catches.
"Ginny?" She whispers, I smile at the way my name sounds rolling off her tongue.
"Yes Luna?"
"I promise I'll try not to do it anymore."
"And you'll eat more as well?" She looks down at herself and back up at me self consciously, "Your body is beautiful, it doesn't need to change. I love it the way it is. And I'm sure everyone else does too." I reassure her.
"I'll try." She says.
"Thank you." I whisper and then I kiss her on the corner of her mouth, "Luna what does this make us?"
"I want to date you Ginny but no one knows about me being... You know g-gay."
"Are you ready for them to know?"
"I don't think so, I'm just so scarred."
"Of course." The truth was I wasn't ready for people to know either.
She nods and goes to put her shirt on but I stop her,
"One moment." I say touching her bruises, "Is it okay if I get a picture of you to hang on my wall?" I question jokingly. We laugh and she turns to put her shirt on blushing slightly, "No but seriously Luna your beautiful." I know it's gushy, but I also know that she needs to hear it.
I watch her in a daze, I've always watched her closely, the way her muscles mover when she walks, the way her lips form different words or how she crinkles her nose when she laughs, yet somehow right now I don't see any of those things, because I just snogged Luna Lovegood. I actually did it.
"Uhm Ginny?" She asks finishing buttoning her shirt.
"Are you going to put your shirt on, or are you going to protest the right for girls to go topless again?" I smile fondly remembering the time I went to breakfast in my bra. I slip my shirt back on because I don't want a months detention and a owl from my mum.
We step out of the room in search of dinner.
On our way the great hall we run into my other best friend, He sits clumsily on the stairs apparently waiting for someone.
I know we need to tell Neville before anyone else. He is one of my best friends and he would be heart broken if we didn't tell him. I catch Luna's eye and she must now what I'm thinking because she nods approvingly and asks,
"Can we talk to you?"
He nods and smiles widely, his eyes glisten wisely and again I am hit with the surprised sense that he wasn't sorted into Hufflepuff.
We take him into an empty room, not bothering to charm the door this time.
"Neville-" I begin,
"You guys were just snogging weren't you?" He interrupts.
"I-Well- How- You- What?" I stutter,
"I can tell! Ginny you can't stop smiling, and Luna your holding your arms like you do when you get flustered. Ginny your standing in an oddly protective stance like you always do with someone you fancy, your both still flushed and you exited a magically locked and soundproof classroom. I put the pieces together." He explains,
"Oh." Luna croaks,
"Listen Neville, we aren't planning on telling anyone, okay?" Luna says,
"Okay!" He says grinning from ear to ear, "I'm just glad you guys trust me." And after about three seconds were all hugging,
"And know that when you come out as gay we will support you." Luna says brightly.
Neville laughs it off but starts fidgeting anyway.
What did you guys think? Please comment I want to know how it was!
~ Rain