Hi guys! So I know humanstuck and university life are well covered topics in the fandom…but hey. We luv it. So here's another one! Some things….
None of the Beta kids are directly related. Dirk and Roxy are Dave and rose's respective older siblings by 3 years. Jane is Jade's south of the border cousin, and Jake is John's older cousin.
These four are just starting their college careers, and the "trolls" have mostly been there from one to two years already.
At the beginning, none of the trolls know the beta kids, and out of the beta kids, only rose and Dave have met in person. They do however already know each other from an online gaming site.
Don't wanna spoil, but the story will most likely be rated m for a reason, (violent or potentially upsetting content and situations, and mayyyybbbbe some sexual content. We'll see )
Also, obvi the elements of homestuck will be cleverly worked into the story, but probably not in the same order or context as the original.
Finally, all characters belong to Andrew Hussie, and I own no part of Homestuck. (sadly)
Maybe this will give us all something to look forward to over the gigapause!
John Egbert pushed his square glasses up as he stared out the window of his father's car, watching the trees race by. He smiled to himself as he thought about the excitement that this day entailed. Today was a very special day. Today, was his first day of college. Not only that, but today was the day he was going to meet his friends for the first time in person.
Now this may seem like a crazy suggestion to some. Most people meet friends in person to begin with. John did have a few friends at his old home, but his closest friends came from the internet. Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider, and Jade Harley were the three people in the world that John thought really got him. They had all actually first met in a session of COD zombies. It was a random meeting, and despite the amazing game, none had anticipated that they would ever meet again.
Less than one week later, they met again on an online gaming site. John had been casually checking out the chat logs on the site when he had recognized one of the other player's usernames. They quickly began talking and soon found both other players. They decided to reconnect over the brand new chat site Pesterchum. Soon, turntechGodhead, tentacleTherapist, ectoBiologist, and gardenGnostic became Dave, Rose, John, and Jade.
As it would turn out, Dave and Rose had ended up meeting one another through family connections. But today, was going to be their first collective meeting as a unit of four. John couldn't have been more excited.
His was shaken from his daze by the sound of his father's PDA going off. He glanced over at it, and then towards his father. The older man started to reach down towards the device.
"Leave it." John said. "You know what happens when people text and drive. Or PDA and drive."
His father let out a chuckle at that. "As you wish my heir."
There was a beat. The only sounds were the droll monotone voices that spoke on the radio. John sighed. His dad was always so business oriented. He remembered when he was young he thought that his father was a practical jokester. The revelation that he was just a humble business man had crushed him quite a bit. Despite this, John knew his father was a very good one.
"Are you excited to meet your friends?"
John perked up in his seat. His mood was almost always cheery. It was kind of his thing.
"Yah I can't wait! It's like I know them. I mean, I do know them, but I feel like I really know them! Ya know? It's like…..we were all meant to be best friends! Like how Nic Cage was always supposed to find that rabbit on the streets to give to his young daughter in a heartbreaking reunion. It just had to happen."
Apparently, rambling was John's thing too. (Did this kid ever run out of breathe?)
"I guess what I'm trying to get at here, is that I am really, really excited."
"Alright then. I am glad we could establish such a well-rounded train of thought."
"Me too dad, me too."
The conversation rapped up as they approached the campus. John's jaw dropped as they approached the humongous complex that was "Alterniabound State College."
The main schools, the Andrew Hussie memorial Dining Hall, the Sburb technology center, Wayward and Peregrine housing (further divided into black and white houses), the Ms. Paint art center, the Spades Night Club, it was all just so overwhelming.
"Where did your friends say they were going to meet you again?"
"Outside of Wayward housing,"
"How are you going to know it's them?"
John smiled. "Trust me dad. I'll know."
The car slowly pulled into the parking lot across from the housing complex. Students bustled past. Some were meeting up with old friends and touring campus, and others were trying to move in last minute. John had opted to move in earlier. It was just easier to go knowing that his room was already set up and ready to go. He had yet to meet his roommate, but he hoped that whoever he was, he'd be a cool guy.
John was situated in the white sector of Wayward. He often thought that the "white and black" classification might not have been the most socially acceptable way of splitting up the houses, but apparently from overhead the arrangement of the houses in this way made it look like a chessboard.
John said goodbye to his father and gave him a long farewell hug. His father hovered near the car, watching John closely to make sure he found his friends. He would only leave once he was absolutely sure.
John looked around in front of the main building. He scanned the oncoming students for anyone who could potentially be who he was looking for. One young man caught his attention.
He stood aloof against the side wall of the building. His white shirt boasted a scratched record symbol and red sleeves that matched his red converse. His black jeans were fitted perfectly to his skinny boy physique. One leg was pushed up against the wall and his hands were in his pockets as he listened to whatever was coming out of his large retro headphones. Dark shades covered his face. His blonde hair blew slightly in the breeze. Everything about this kid screamed "cool guy."
John didn't even take a moment to contemplate a non-creepy way of approaching. Instead he sauntered over without a second thought, waving maniacally as he went. The boy looked over slowly, remaining perched against the wall. He slowly pulled his headphones down around his neck.
"Hey, I don't mean to bug you, but you wouldn't happen to be Dave Strider would you?"
The kid moved off the wall to stand up straight. "The one and only." His voice is like silk, unlike John's still childish one.
"Awesome! I can't believe I'm finally meeting you!"
"Yah I am pretty amazing to meet. Like a hundred other people already had fangirl attacks over me. They were all like oh it's that aloof cool guy Dave Strider! How can we even handle to be in the presence of such a cool guy?"
A voice sounded from behind John. "Oh yah, the guy with a blog. How riveting." He turned to look at the source of the voice. He was greeted by a smirking blonde in a black skirt and white t shirt with what looked like a purple squiddle on it. A pink scarf accentuated her lavender eyes.
"It is a pleasure to finally meet you John." She continued.
"Yah this is so great! Rose right?"
"Indubitably."
"Have any of you seen Jade yet?" Dave inquired.
"Not yet no." Rose answered while John shook his head.
"Huh. I swear this girl has more crazy shenanigans than any of us. It's like she's lost in space sometimes. And not in like that lame movie way."
John smiled. "Well, I'm sure we will meet up with her soon enough."
Rose sat down on the bench next to where Dave was standing and crossed her legs. "Dave, have you seen Roxy or Dirk yet?"
"I haven't seen either of them, but bro said to meet him in the main caf of this building once we got our shit together."
"Bro goes here? Oh my gosh I've always wanted to meet him! Why didn't you mention he was going here? I read his Gamebro mag allll the time!" John said, practically jumping with joy.
"Example A of why I didn't say anything. You're prancing around like a lil' puppy, all excited n shit. Wouldn't want you to have that kinda reaction unsupervised. Might fly out of the window like a stabbed crow."
"I've actually admired some of your Brother's work Dave." Rose chimed. "He's quite the entrepreneur."
Dave scoffed. "Yah, it's easier to like his shit when you aren't surrounded by gross puppet proboscis all the time. It's like, all I wanna do is get some milk from the fridge and I walk in on some cheezy porno."
"Don't diss the puppets Dave. DON'T DISS THE PUPPETS."
"Ok man. Maybe I'll just rap about it. Alright here I go, puppets and smuppets clogging all my hallways, wriggling around asking what's up these days. Can't control the "
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
The group stopped listening to Dave's epic rap to greet an enthusiastic young woman coming their way.
"I'd know you guys anywhere!"
"JADE!"
Jade scooped John into a tight excited hug. "Hello John! I'm so glad to meet you!"
Dave leaned over to Rose and mumbled a quick "wow she's fucking excitable" before being scooped up into an unrequited hug.
"And mahh cool dude Dave! You're taller than I pictured."
"I'm a beast. The fact that anyone could expect less is shocking."
Jade slapped his arm slightly. "Oh shush Dave."
Rose got up to give Jade a proper hug. Once they broke apart Jade excitedly informed them of the news.
"So as if today wasn't exciting enough, not only do we get to meet each other, buuuuuutt..drum roll please."
Rose and Dave exchanged skeptical glances while John did his best to make a drumming sound effect.
"Dirk and Roxy are here, and Jane and Jake are too!"
"Jake's here?" John wondered. "How did I not know that? He's my cousin."
"Probably too wrapped up in your shitty Nicholas Cage and Matt Mcaunghanoonecares movies."
"Those movies are classics Dave"
Rose ran a hand through her blond hair. "Well, now that our (air quotes) shit is in order, why don't we proceed to meet them all in the cafeteria?"
"Great idea Rose, but I got a better one. " Dave said with a smirk. "Now that we got our shit together, why don't we go meet up with bro and company so we can have massive shitty swordfights and bond over their weird hatred of Betty Crocker? Maybe while we bond we can end up in a shitty puppet remake of some stupid movie like titanic."
"or con air."
"no."
"yes."
Dave rolled his eyes, and despite the fact that no one could see his eyes, they all seemed to know that's what he was up to. "Let's get this shitfest over with so I can start laying down some sick beats."
Jade linked arms with the boy, much to his surprise. "Don't be such a party pooper. This is going to be the best year ever."
John smiled over at Rose and held out his arm. She linked her arm with his. "When in Alterniabound…"
"HAHAHA…I don't get it."
The four made their way into the main café. Students filled almost every nook and cranny of the building. There were multiple small vendors on all walls, and tables filling the rest of the space. John wondered how they'd ever find the others in such a crowd. Dave and Rose knew however knew exactly where to go. At the far end of the cafeteria there was a small almost hidden door. On it rested a sign saying "employees only." John and Jade were skeptical to pass, but Rose and Dave didn't hesitate. The door opened to reveal a small hallway leading to the campus coffee shop's employee lounge. Roxy and Jane were both employees there, and had offered up the back room as a hangout for their closest friends. This was the secluded destination in which the eight were destined to gather.
When the four kids strolled casually into the room they were greeted by a very enthusiastic blonde.
"HEY guyssssss! Uhh I am sooo…glad you could make it!" She led them over to the main table, where three other individuals were sitting.
Dirk shared Dave's obsession with shades, but his were pointy anime shades. He was taller, and more muscular than his younger brother as well, and wore a dark tank that accentuated his physique. His final accessory was an orange baseball cap.
Roxy could have been Rose's identical twin, except for her slightly more promiscuous attire, and that she practically spoke like a drunk Jersey wife all the time.(even when sober) Her shirt casually rested on her shoulders, leaving her collarbones and the straps of her pink camisole exposed. Yoga pants demonstrated her toned leg muscles and disappeared into pink high-top converse.
Jane was the perfect Southern lady. She wore humble attire, a knee length teal skirt and casual shirt. She shared many characteristics with Jade, but had a slightly rounder face. Jane had been born in Tennessee, but Jade was born in Maine. Their mother had a business meeting up there, and despite being very, very pregnant, she knew she needed to go. Jade was very sick when she was born, and had to remain up North, as travel would have been too much stress for her. She ended up living with her grandfather for a few years in her youth, while her mother went back down to take care of Jane. The years of separation had taken a toll on the family as a whole, so their mother proposed that they move up to Maine to be with Jade. However, at this point, Jane was already accepted into one of the most prestigious youth culinary schools in the nation, and as a family they decided it was best if she continued her studies. Once Jade was healthy enough, the family would fly back and forth to see one another. However, they never collectively lived together.
Jake, minus his hair and glasses shape, looked almost nothing like John. Instead of being lanky and goofy looking, he was a muscular adventure loving guy. He tended to wear shorts no matter what time of year it was. He was no stranger to danger. If there was ever another remake of Indiana Jones, Jake could certainly play him.
Dave slid into the seat next to Bro. "Alright. Let's get this meeting started."
Dirk began. "Let's start with some basic rules. Rule number one. Stay away from anyone in the black houses."
"Why?" John questioned.
Jake was quick to the response. "Trust me my nieve cousin, no good can come from association with them. They are nothing but a world of trouble."
Jade wasn't too keen on the aspect of having to avoid making friends. "We can't just avoid them. There are so many! And that seems kind of mean anyway."
"It may seem mean darlin'," Jane began, "but that's because you are taking it the wrong way."
"Yah," Dirk continued, "You can't avoid them, that's just impossible and stupid. You just shouldn't make friends with them. They tend to be a real riff raff crowd with lots of trouble following them."
"Have you ever attempted to forge and acquaintance with any of them, or is this just some typical stereotype based sheerly off of some competitive nature between the sectors?" Rose inquired.
Jake answered. "We actually did make friends with some of them our first year. They were all in graduate school when we began."
"Let's just say that our lives are much simpler now without their influence."
John, Jade, Rose, and Dave were all a little put off by their families secrecy. What kind of trouble had they gotten into?
"Hey Roxy, You've been real quiet. What's with that? Usually you're like a chattering hog monkey."
The blonde girl's eyes immediately lit up. "That…" she pointed wildly at the group, "is because I have been waiiiting for alllll of this drama bomb ish to be over with so we could get to the good stuff."
"Oh boy," Jake muttered, exchanging a concerned glance with Jane.
"Because tonight is the first night of our new semester of tortuuree." She leaned over the table excitedly, "there's going to be a killller partay at the Spades Night Club. Aand because its technically off campus, as long as nobody gets themselves shot, we can do whatever Weee WANNTTTT!"
Jade raised her hand meekly, as if afraid to interrupt Roxy's excited speech. "Um, I'm not really much of a partyer."
This earned a laugh from Roxy. "That's aiight gurl, but you should go anyway. Everyone who is anyone is gunna be there."
Jade looked at the rest of the members of the table. "It's true." Dirk said with a nod.
"Look, you don't have to drink anything, just go and hang out." Dave began. He nodded towards John. "Besides, I doubt this kid will wanna party anyway, so you'll have him as company."
"HEY! I for one happen to love partying." John rebutted.
"Suuure." Rose said, raising her eyebrows skeptically.
"so it's like totes settled then!"
Jane rose from her seat in agreement, "That sounds about right. We have to head back over to the room anyway and get some things sorted out, but we'll see ya'll later!"
Dirk rose silently from his seat and nodded to the group before beckoning Jake to follow.
"I suppose that's it for me then too. I think I hit all the important points. Tata for now."
"Wait," John protested, "We only talked about like…..two things."
"That's because for now, that's all you need to know about. We can catch up later and I'll regale you with the thrills of my many adventures." With that, the older kids had left.
"It would most likely be advisable that we head back to our rooms and situate ourselves as well. I guess, we can meet up again at the party?"
"Sure." Dave agreed.
"Wait, they didn't exactly say what time to be there?"
Bring!
Jade took her phone out of her pocket to reveal a message from Jane.
You should plan to arrive for 9. We can meet you at the entrance: p
"Why don't we do dinner before so we can catch up and then head over together?" Jade suggested.
"YAH!"
"Why not."
"Sure man."
"Ok! I saw this cute little Italian-American joint next to the Hussie Memorial Hall. Wanna eat there?"
The group agreed, and began to head off to their dorms. They headed out the back door of the main building and into the housing complex. The houses were intermingled and layered out vertically from their current position. Graduate students had top priority and got the houses closes to campus. Undergrads had to head further down the line. Boys and girls were split up among the houses, girls receiving even numbered houses, and boys odd.
Rose and Jade were roommates in white house 42. They departed from the boys and promised to text them so they could meet up later.
"Huh, that's neat that they are roommates."
"Yah. Now they can spend their nights braiding each other's hair and talking about the heartthrobs of Alterniabound."
John chuckled at this. "So what building are you in? I'm white 43, so this one over here." He gestured to the white house next to the adjacent white one Rose and Jade were in.
"I'm convinced you're totally trying to steal my mad swag John. Going to the same school as me, and now living in the same house? Shenanigans."
"Yes that is totally what is going on here. But what room are you?!"
"B13"
John clasped his hands to his face excitedly. "Oh my gosh! That's my room!"
"I guess that makes us roommates then. Just try not to go all physco like the chick in that movie and steal my identity or anything alright?"
"Deal!"
Your name is John Egbert, and today is the best day of your life.
Your name is Dave Strider, and today, while you are externally maintaining a cool outer persona, inside you are so happy you want to do acrobatic fucking pirouettes of the handle.
But you won't. Because that just wouldn't be ironic enough.
Yet.
Homestuck
End Chapter one.
(Curtains close dramatically)
Well anyway….that was just the intro so no real plot yet. (or was there….) hope you like it so far.
Also, I LOVE comments, and if you have any cool suggestions or things you wanna see feel free to leave em. I may try and work em into the story if I can. I have like 95 percent of everything I want mapped out, but im always looking for some new ideas and stuffs!