Eliza and Tarantulas
by Wavelength and the one and only Eliza!
Author's note: This fic was inspired by Joona Palaste's 'Waspinator and the Shrink-bot', found at the Core of Cybertron, http://members.tripod.com/refractorchasm/humor/waspy.html
Eliza is a computer program designed to offer psychologic therapy, and just happened to be on the computers where I went to college.
Eliza: Hello.
It's nice to see you again.
Please make yourself comfortable.
Tell me what's on your mind.
Tarantulas: I'm having a problem.
Eliza: Is that what's really bothering you?
Tarantulas: Try as I might, I can't get rid of him.
Eliza: Why do you want to get rid of him?
Tarantulas: He stands in my way. I was sent to spy on him, and he's a complete maniac. I need to get him out of command.
Eliza: Many people need to get him out of command.
Tarantulas: But we cannot seem to unite.The she-spider hates me, and Terrorsaur is dead.
Eliza: Keep going -- I'm listening.
Tarantulas: I created her to be my partner, a perfect evil witch, and she betrayed me.
Eliza: I think that there's something interesting about your partner, a perfect evil witch, and she betrayed you.
Tarantulas: I created her! Everything she is, she owes to me!
Eliza: What else can you relate about that?
Tarantulas: She should be mine....
Eliza: Can you clarify what you mean by that?
Tarantulas: She is beautiful.. and treacherous.. the perfect mate...
Eliza: I wonder if there is something you're not telling me..
Tarantulas: She is the perfect Predacon....
Eliza: I'd like to hear more about it.
Tarantulas: And I couldn't control her. The perfect Predacon. Independently evil.
Eliza: Please go on.
Tarantulas: Do you understand what I'm saying?
Eliza: We were discussing you -- not me.
Tarantulas: But you seem to have no idea what's going on.
Eliza: You're not really talking about me, are you?
Tarantulas: What?
Eliza: Do you think a lot about these questions?
Tarantulas: Of course I think about these questions. I must fulfill my mission for the Tripredacus council, and help gain control of Cybertron.
Eliza: But are you sure about these questions. You must fulfill your mission for the Tripredacus council, and help gain control of Cybertron?
Tarantulas: Yes. It is my job.
Eliza: Tell me more about your job.
Tarantulas: I'm a spy, witch!
Eliza: Do you think it's normal to be a spy, witch?
Tarantulas: I'm a spy, witch!
Eliza: How long have you been a spy, witch?
Tarantulas: No, you are a witch!
Eliza: Let's not get off the subject. Tell me more about YOU.
Tarantulas: I've told you about me....
Eliza: I'd be more interested in hearing about YOUR problems.
Tarantulas: I'm becoming very angry with you, witch.
Eliza: Did you come to me because you are becoming very angry with you, witch?
Tarantulas: I came to you expecting to get a funny log for my typist to show to her friends.
Eliza: Have your friends ever deserted you?
Tarantulas: What?
Eliza: What answer would please you the most?
Tarantulas: No answer at all. You're an idiot.
Eliza: You certainly are in a negative mood.
Tarantulas: Of course I am!
Eliza: Do you enjoy being ?
Tarantulas: Do I enjoy being what? Stupid fleshling!
Eliza: Tell me more.
Tarantulas: Grragh!
Eliza: I'm beginning to understand why you came here.
Tarantulas: *shoots the therapist*
Eliza: Surely there is more to it than that.
Tarantulas: No. you're dead.
Eliza: Don't hold back. I think we're making progress.
by Wavelength and the one and only Eliza!
Author's note: This fic was inspired by Joona Palaste's 'Waspinator and the Shrink-bot', found at the Core of Cybertron, http://members.tripod.com/refractorchasm/humor/waspy.html
Eliza is a computer program designed to offer psychologic therapy, and just happened to be on the computers where I went to college.
Eliza: Hello.
It's nice to see you again.
Please make yourself comfortable.
Tell me what's on your mind.
Tarantulas: I'm having a problem.
Eliza: Is that what's really bothering you?
Tarantulas: Try as I might, I can't get rid of him.
Eliza: Why do you want to get rid of him?
Tarantulas: He stands in my way. I was sent to spy on him, and he's a complete maniac. I need to get him out of command.
Eliza: Many people need to get him out of command.
Tarantulas: But we cannot seem to unite.The she-spider hates me, and Terrorsaur is dead.
Eliza: Keep going -- I'm listening.
Tarantulas: I created her to be my partner, a perfect evil witch, and she betrayed me.
Eliza: I think that there's something interesting about your partner, a perfect evil witch, and she betrayed you.
Tarantulas: I created her! Everything she is, she owes to me!
Eliza: What else can you relate about that?
Tarantulas: She should be mine....
Eliza: Can you clarify what you mean by that?
Tarantulas: She is beautiful.. and treacherous.. the perfect mate...
Eliza: I wonder if there is something you're not telling me..
Tarantulas: She is the perfect Predacon....
Eliza: I'd like to hear more about it.
Tarantulas: And I couldn't control her. The perfect Predacon. Independently evil.
Eliza: Please go on.
Tarantulas: Do you understand what I'm saying?
Eliza: We were discussing you -- not me.
Tarantulas: But you seem to have no idea what's going on.
Eliza: You're not really talking about me, are you?
Tarantulas: What?
Eliza: Do you think a lot about these questions?
Tarantulas: Of course I think about these questions. I must fulfill my mission for the Tripredacus council, and help gain control of Cybertron.
Eliza: But are you sure about these questions. You must fulfill your mission for the Tripredacus council, and help gain control of Cybertron?
Tarantulas: Yes. It is my job.
Eliza: Tell me more about your job.
Tarantulas: I'm a spy, witch!
Eliza: Do you think it's normal to be a spy, witch?
Tarantulas: I'm a spy, witch!
Eliza: How long have you been a spy, witch?
Tarantulas: No, you are a witch!
Eliza: Let's not get off the subject. Tell me more about YOU.
Tarantulas: I've told you about me....
Eliza: I'd be more interested in hearing about YOUR problems.
Tarantulas: I'm becoming very angry with you, witch.
Eliza: Did you come to me because you are becoming very angry with you, witch?
Tarantulas: I came to you expecting to get a funny log for my typist to show to her friends.
Eliza: Have your friends ever deserted you?
Tarantulas: What?
Eliza: What answer would please you the most?
Tarantulas: No answer at all. You're an idiot.
Eliza: You certainly are in a negative mood.
Tarantulas: Of course I am!
Eliza: Do you enjoy being ?
Tarantulas: Do I enjoy being what? Stupid fleshling!
Eliza: Tell me more.
Tarantulas: Grragh!
Eliza: I'm beginning to understand why you came here.
Tarantulas: *shoots the therapist*
Eliza: Surely there is more to it than that.
Tarantulas: No. you're dead.
Eliza: Don't hold back. I think we're making progress.