THIS IS THE FIRST FIC I WRITE SOLO AND THAT I POST HERE.
THE NAME FOR THE FIC COMES FROM THE SONG OF NICK LACHEY, THAT IN A WAY EXPLAINS WHAT I´M GOING TO DO WITH THE FIC.
I WISH TO THANKS MY WONDERFUL BETA / TRANSFORMER CASEY, SHE IS AWESOME ON WHAT SHE DOES BECAUSE THIS IS NOT MY WRITTING STYLE AND EVEN THOUGH I TRY TO CHANGE IT, I CAN´T. SO KUDDOS TO HER.
ALSO WANT TO THANKS HER FOR HELPING ME TO COME UP WITH THE SUMMARY AND TO MY WONDERFUL FRIEND "THE TODDSTER"
I WANT TO DEDICATE THE CHAPTER TO SEVERAL PERSONS: CASEY, "THE TODDSTER", BERT, BECS, MY OTH GIRLS (YOU KNOW HOW YOU ARE), B MY AWESOME FRIEND/VID TEACHER THAT TAUGHT ME ALL I KNOW ABOUT VIDEO MAKING (THANKS FOR THE TRY ON MAKING THE PROMO VID) AND FINALLY TO ALL THE BRUCASERS OUT THERE.
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW: EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED UNTIL BRUCAS BROKE UP ON S4 STAYS THAT WAY. THE REST WILL CHANGE BUT YOU WILL NOTICE IN FUTURE I MIGHT USE SOME SCENES OR PARLAMENT BUT THE REST IS ALL PRODUCT OF MY IMAGINATION. BY THE WAY IT´S KINDA AU
SUMMARY:
When Brooke Davis let the one true love in her life, Lucas Scott, go off with another girl it was to stop the risk of having her heart broken...again. But when she finds out she's pregnant it's already too late to fix things with Luke who has left the country.
When he returns home for the first time in fifteen years and discovers that Brooke is there, he's about to get the surprise of a life time.
DISCLAIMER: I DON´T OWN ANYTHING ABOUT OTH. IT ALL BELONGS TO MARK SCHWAHNN, THE CW, WARNER AND TOLLINS - ROBBINS.
I DON´T EVEN OWN THE SONG THAT BELONGS TO NICK LACHEY, AND HIS RECORD COMPANY.
HERE IT IS.... ENJOY AND PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW, THAT IS THE BEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE ME.
What's Left of Me
Chapter One
Lucas leant back into the chair that sat in front of his cluttered desk, a notebook rested absentmindedly on his lap as he thought about the past twelve or thirteen hours, and how much actually happened in that time. His brother and his best friend had renewed their wedding vows in front of all their friends and family following a rocky couple of months.
The day was almost over, the last of the late afternoon sun glow disappearing behind the leafy trees leaving the quiet North Carolina town in darkness broken only by the dim glow of the street lights.
Next to him, lying across his bed was one of his closest friends, Peyton Sawyer, her messy golden curls spread out against his pillow as they talked. In between playing an intense game of guess the artist of the song, they were discussing Haley and Nathan's wedding and when Peyton felt like it, the half-brother she only discovered she had.
The peace of the evening disappeared though when the side door to his bedroom swung open revealing the most beautiful women that he had ever laid eyes on. His girlfriend, his pretty girl, his Brooke Davis…
"Hey," Luke greeted friendly, before realising what the scene in front of her must have looked like, "We were just…"
There was no denying the pissed off look on her face, "I'd like to talk to my boyfriend…alone." She narrowed her emerald eyes as she glanced at the girl that was supposed to be her best friend. Peyton sighed, and rolled off the bed; she didn't want to fight with Brooke tonight.
"Nice job not hitting on him." There was a bitter sarcastic tone in Brooke's voice as she glared at Peyton again, who at this point was right next to her; Brooke resisted the urge to push her through the open door.
"Bye Luke, I'll get those CDs later; thanks for the sex." The sarcastic tone in her voice rivalled that of Brooke's and she glanced at Brooke slyly as she did this.
Lucas sat in a stunned silence for a second and then rocketed out of his chair as Brooke turned to look back at him.
"She's joking…"He tried to reassure her, wrapping his arms around her in a hug, "I was trying to call you."
"You mean when you weren't with Peyton?" Her voice was no longer as loud as it was before, or as sarcastic but rather now it was soft and hurt.
"Come on Brooke, you never call me back."
Brooke pushed her boyfriend off of her and went to sit down on his bed, trying not to think that Peyton had been on here only minutes before.
"Now you know how I feel." She stopped for a couple of seconds to calm herself down before she continued; she hadn't come here to fight.
"Listen, I know everything's been difficult for you recently. Losing Keith, your HCM, having to give up basketball…" She took another deep breath this was more difficult for her to say than she realised it was going to be.
"It feels like I've been keeping you so close to me to try and protect you from everything, but it feels like I've been hanging onto the two of us for you and not me."
"I'm sorry I kissed Peyton." Luke apologised for the hundredth time since that incident as he sat back down in his chair. "I should have told you when it happened."
"It's not about that Luke." Brooke cried, "It's not. I mean it used to be, I thought it still was, but it isn't about her anymore." She could feel his rough hands rub against her legs,
"This is about me…I love you Luke, and I'm probably always going to love you." Tears were starting to form in her eyes and Luke knew he wasn't going to like the direction of the rest of the conversation. "But we go days without having one meaningful conversation, and I used to miss you so much when that happened; but I'd look at you and it didn't look like you were missing me. And I guess I stopped missing you because of it."
She looked up from where she had been staring at her legs and noticed that Luke's hypnotising cerulean blue eyes were staring at her in a puppy dog expression. "I mean, look at today…"
She kept talking but Luke's conscience became louder until he could no longer hear her sexy, husky voice. He knew he should say something, anything. After all, for someone who called himself a writer, he had no words for this situation, for what felt like one of the most critical situations in his young life. It was like no words had ever been written down.
But then again it didn't really matter, when someone tells you that they've stopped missing you, you're screwed no matter what you say. He finally began to hear Brooke again, only to hear some of the most dreaded words that one could hear when in love.
"It shouldn't be like this Luke, we shouldn't be like this."
"Brooke." His voice was a hoarse whisper, he wanted this conversation to stop now before it could get any worse, and he knew what was about to happen.
"I'm sorry Luke, I can't do this anymore." Brooke looked like she was in physical pain as she said the words.
There had to be something he could say, something to stop her from walking out the door.
Brooke leant across, and brushed one last small kiss on his cheek before she climbed off the bed, headed for the door. Luke's mind went into overdrive as he tried to think of something that no one had ever said in the history of the world, something that would save this situation.
"Brooke…" At least it was a beginning, it stopped her in her tracks, one foot out the door, as she turned back to look at him. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah," She smiled slightly, "me too." And then like that she left and Luke knew that those three words weren't the ones that were needed.
Later that night, long after he'd turned out the lights and collapsed into his bed, he found that he wasn't able to sleep. He couldn't believe that without trying too he had hurt her again, something he'd promised he'd never do.
When the new day finally arrived, the sun cast a morning glow throughout his room, and his alarm bell sounded shrilly in his ear to wake him up, it appeared to be any other day; but for the first time in his entire education the quite brooder who loved going to class and learning didn't want to go; so he rolled over in his bed to hide out the day brooding.
- - -
It was late in the afternoon and Haley, Nathan and Peyton were hanging around outside the gym after basketball and cheerleading practices had ended. Brooke had already disappeared and Peyton attributed it to the face that they hated each other at the moment. They were talking about a number of different topics, such as the vow renewal the day before, and the day's gossip, when Nathan noticed something.
"Hales, have you talked to Luke recently?" He didn't know how any of them hadn't noticed that the blond former basketball player had been missing all day before now.
"Sure I have." Haley answered automatically smiling, she had hadn't she?
"He hasn't been at school all day."
"He hasn't?" Apparently being a (sort of) newly wed had diminished Haley James Scott's observation skills, but now that her husband mentioned it she realised that he was right.
"Have you talked to him Peyt?"
"The last time I talked to him was last night. When I left, Brooke was there and wanted to talk to him."
"What happened?" Haley questioned. "It's Luke, he never misses school unless he's like on his deathbed."
"Something must have happened last night. Brooke's been here all day."
"I'll go see him." Haley shrugged; he was her best friend after all.
"No, I'll do it." The brother card beat the friend card, and the second Nathan smiled at Haley she was gone, nodding in agreement.
"I'll go home then I guess."
Nathan pulled her close into him for a goodbye kiss.
"Bye." He whispered to her softly as his lips pressed down against hers.
"I'll see you soon." Haley repeated the kiss and it took them a minute to pull apart from each other.
"Bye Nathan." Peyton laughed as the two lovebirds finally separated.
"Bye Peyt." Nathan waved, already heading across the courtyard.
Nathan walked directly up the path to his half-brother's house, his destination the side door, which would be easiest to avoid any awkward questions if Karen was home. The sight that greeted him inside the room was a shock; the entire was room and was shrouded in darkness.
"Rise and shine Cinderella." Nathan pulled the curtains up letting a sudden stream of harsh sunlight through the entire room, causing Luke to roll over into his pillow to try and block the light.
"Go away." He screamed, muffled, into the pillow.
"What are you still doing in bed?" Nathan asked ignoring Luke's demand.
"Because I want to stay in bed." Luke sighed and rolled over again, the last thing he wanted to do was explain everything to anyone.
"Come on you have to do better than that. What's the problem?"
"Nothing. Go Away. Please." He added the last word, hoping that if he would be nice his wish would be followed.
"I'm not buying that BS from you. Has this got to do with whatever happened between you and Brooke last night?"
"How did you know she was here?"
"Peyton."
"Dammit Peyton." He grumbled, a much nastier stream of words racing through his mind.
Nathan knew he had hit a nerve at the mention of his brother's girlfriend.
"So, what happened between you and Brooke?"
"I'm not talking about it."
Nathan didn't move from his position at the end of Luke's bed, he knew sooner or later the blond would react.
"If I told you, you'll leave?"
Nathan nodded, triumph that he had won a lot sooner than he thought.
"Brooke broke up with me last night."
"Why?" To everyone that saw the couple it was obvious how madly they were in love with each other.
"It might have been something to do with the fact that she found out last night that I kissed Peyton that day in the school." He didn't need to elaborate any further than that day, everyone knew what it meant.
"Why would you do that again?" His brother sure knew how to ruin a good thing.
"She was bleeding, she thought she was going to die."
"So why didn't you tell your girlfriend straight away?"
"Because I didn't think it was that important."
"So how are you feeling now?" Nathan asked, though by just looking at his brother he could take a guess.
"Like crap, like my whole world is crumbling down around me…heartbroken."
"Staying in bed isn't going to make you feel any better. But you really need to take a shower, cause you stink."
"I don't smell that bad." Luke climbed out of bed, the first time since that morning. Nathan grimaced in response and Luke walked a little bit faster to the bathroom.
When Rachel arrived back to her large house that afternoon, to find that Brooke had beaten her back from cheerleading practice, she already in the bedroom, sitting on her bed with her head in her hands, her auburn hair shielding her face. Rachel was a little surprised to see Brooke like this since she had appeared so happy and carefree, like normal, the entire day at school.
"Fancy running into you here." She laughed, dumping her bag in the corner. When Brooke lifted her head to greet the red head, she realised that her emerald eyes were filled with tears and her cheeks were stained by tears already shed.
"What's wrong Brookie?" Rachel asked slightly alarmed by the sudden show of emotion.
"Nothing." Brooke shook her head and tried to smile, but failed horribly.
"Okay, anyway I wanted to talk to you about something."
"What?" Brooke wiped away the tears, to focus on her friend.
"Well first, will you go out with me tonight?"
"You're really over Coop that fast?" Her friend and the much older 'Hot Uncle' Coop had only broken up a week or so ago and her friend had gone out nearly every night afterwards in the search for a suitable rebound.
"Well I still love him of course." Rachel admitted. "But I'm not going to pine around here waiting for him. So boys and booze seems like the perfect plan."
"I'm not feeling it tonight." Brooke apologised. "Maybe another night."
"So," Rachel processed her friend's answer. "You would prefer to stay in this room all night and cry yourself to sleep like you did last night? What happened yesterday?"
"What are you talking about?" Brooke responded quickly, coming to her own defence. "I didn't cry myself to sleep last night."
"I heard you." Rachel stated. "I was going to ask you, but you had already disappeared by the time I woke up."
"I went to Luke's house last night."
Rachel prodded her on by waving a hand around. Going to Luke's house could have meant a number of different things; she was going to need some more clarification.
"I broke up with him."
"Why?"
"Because he and Peyton want to hook up."
"What?" Rachel sounded angry; she had been with her friend before when she had to deal with the whole Lucas/Peyton/Brooke drama.
"At the Naley rehearsal dinner Peyton told me that she still loves Luke. I wanted to get out of it before my heart was shattered into a million little pieces again."
"You don't go giving that bitch what she wants." Rachel was mad, not at Brooke but at Peyton for telling Brooke that, knowing what type of person Brooke was. "Luke loves you, not her. Anyone can see that, I see it all the time."
"I'm saving myself a lot of heartbreak here." The tears had resumed and now Rachel was really pissed at Peyton.
"Crying yourself to sleep every night is not saving yourself from heartbreak."
They stared at each other for a couple of seconds, knowing that if they continued they'd be stuck in the same loop of conversation.
"I know there's a full tub of ice cream in the fridge." Rachel pulled Brooke up off the bed. "It's your favourite."
Brooke smiled; she was always on board for eating ice cream out the tub, especially tonight.
Luke was still in a brooding mood after that disastrous night in his bedroom, but he knew that Nathan and everyone else who he had talked to recently was right, staying in bed wasn't right so he figured that he could brood on the Rivercourt. He had been on the court for half and hour before someone approached him.
"What are you doing here Haley?" He sighed as he moved to join her on the bench on the side of the court.
"Nathan told me about you and Brooke."
"That again." Luke let the orange ball he was holding drop, he was going to be sitting for a while if this is what Haley wanted to talk about.
"You still love her." Haley stated matter-of-factly.
"Her exact words were I can't do this anymore and I stopped missing you. She doesn't want me to go after her."
"This isn't the Lucas Scott I know." Haley was trying so hard to make her friend see some sense. "The Luke I know wouldn't be here sitting next to me moping, he'd be fighting to get her back. Words mean nothing."
"They mean something." Luke retorted back, as a writer he knew that.
"Do you remember what she was like at the beginning of the year? Maybe she just wants you to show her how much you love her again. A very wise girl once told me that sometimes people play hard to get because they need to know that the other person's feelings are real. Maybe she needs to know that you still love her."
"You're right." Luke said. Of course she was right. He could still win Brooke back.
"Of course I'm right." Haley laughed, wrapping her best friend and brother in law up in a hug.
It was a couple of days before Peyton realised that what happened that night at Luke's house, might not have been wise, especially when her friendship with her oldest friend was already strained. She knew that before Brooke began to completely hate her, they needed to talk to salvage something, anything of their friendship.
She stopped just before she entered the courtyard at Tree Hill High School where there were a number of people milling around for lunch. Brooke was easy to pick out, surrounded by a group of cheerleaders and basketball players, picking absentmindedly at her lunch.
"Brooke, can I talk to you?" She walked quickly over to the table before she could change her mind, or before Brooke disappeared.
"No." Brooke answered calmly, civilly. "Can you go away, 'cause I really don't want to see you ever again."
"I'll be really quick; then I'll go."
Brooke turned her head to Peyton so they were eye to eye. "One minute, cause you're not welcome here."
A couple of other cheerleaders glared at Peyton and she had a sneaking suspicion that her ill admission had been spread through their circle of friends.
"I want to apologise for the other night." Brooke knew how hard it was for Peyton to say sorry to people and the blonde girl hoped that she would go easy on her. "I didn't mean what I said, I was joking around, we were only hanging out."
"I don't care." Brooke turned back to her group of friends. Peyton knew she was meant to leave at that point, but she didn't.
"Why don't you care?" She was slightly confused; Brooke seemed pretty upset that night.
"Luke and I broke up. Again. You win. Again. Why do you care?"
"I care because you're my best friend."
"I'm not your best friend anymore." Brooke pushed back from the table and stood up. "I stopped being your best friend the second you told me you loved my boyfriend."
Then Brooke left without another word and Peyton suspected that was the last time the two would ever speak again.
Dinners at the Roe/Scott house had been quiet lately, Luke brooding into each and every meal. Karen Roe, the mother of the troubled teenager had tried to ignore it but she couldn't face another night of silence.
"What's going on Luke?" She asked bluntly, being direct was sometimes the best option.
Luke looked up from his meal, he was surprised that she hadn't heard about it yet, after all nearly everyone at school knew by now.
"Brooke broke up with me." He said quietly, pushing his fork into more food.
"What happened?" She had grown so used to hearing Brooke sneak in and out Luke's side door every night. She didn't know that the two were having problems.
"I really don't know." There was the whole I'm not missing you speech, but he wasn't thinking of that as a reason.
"Do you miss her?"
"Of course I miss her. It's Brooke."
"What are you going to do?"
"Hopefully, get her to talk to me. To sort this out."
A small playful smile formed across Karen's lips; at least her son wasn't a complete write-off yet.
Rachel had had enough, of falling asleep to the sound of crying every night. She knew that it had only be one week, and she understood that Brooke still loved Lucas, but it seemed to be getting worse with each passing night. To make matters worse, she was now waking up to the sound of vomiting.
"Again?" Rachel was seriously worried about her eighteen year old friend. Brooke leant up against the cold material of the bathtub.
"I think it's just stress." She laughed it off.
"Brooke, it's the third time this week. I don't think its stress." Rachel was implying something, but Brooke was slightly sleep deprived and couldn't catch the hint.
"I think you're pregnant."
"It's not possible." The answer was a reflex. She could not be pregnant.
"Number one, this is the third morning you've woken up at the toilet bowl; number two you and Luke did it like rabbits, and number three you're putting on a bit of weight."
"I'm not gaining weight." Brooke snapped back, offended that her best friend would actually say something like that.
"Fine them, if I'm wrong you won't have any problem to taking a pregnancy test."
"I'm…I'm not going to take the test." If she could maybe refuse to think that it was even a possibility that she was pregnant, it wouldn't be true.
"How often do you get the chance to show me you're wrong? Just take the test, you have nothing to lose."
Brooke tried to look confident, positive that she wasn't knocked up.
"Fine." She grumbled, but she still wasn't happy about peeing on a stick.
Rachel went to her bathroom cabinet, and after some searching behind different creams pulled out an unused pregnancy test. Brooke raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow in question.
"Don't ask." Now it was Rachel who sounded cranky.
"Is it time yet?" Brooke complained. It had taken Rachel another twenty minutes after pulling out the test and reading the instructions, mainly because of Brooke's nerves. She was now terrified about what the stick was going to say.
"Don't be nervous." Rachel smiled, "You were so sure that it was going to be negative."
"Fine. I'm nervous. I'm terrified."
"Don't stress yourself. It's not healthy for the baby." She smirked, and Brooke reached out to whack her.
"That's easy for you to say. Your life isn't going to change forever if that thing says positive." She thrust one finger to the offending stick.
"It's time." Rachel announced unnecessarily as the timer beeped loudly throughout the room.
"I can't." Brooke chickened out, pulling her hands away from the stick. "You do it Rach."
"Don't be a baby." Rachel tried to coax her friend forward. This is something you need to do."
The two girls stared at each other for a minute, before Brooke reached and grabbed the stick swiftly before she changed her mind again. Looking at the colour on the stick, the angelic features on her face went completely devoid of emotion.
"Brooke…?" Rachel asked softly, moving towards her friend in worry. This was such a life changing moment and no one should do it by themselves. "What does it say?"