Hey guys!
I'm back! And with the Deadpool one-shot I promised about a month ago, sorry. Truth is, a lot has happened and this was very daunting to write because I'm not sure if I got Deadpool right. I've never really seen much of the comics or the game and I saw the movie awhile ago and I don't trust my memory.
Hopefully it isn't awful.
. . .
Looking back, Mariana was very quickly convinced that the entire job had been one big test. Or a bunch of little tests. Depends on how you look at it I guess. She wasn't angry at the rest of the Avengers for wanting to test her before Steve gave her the green light to re-join their work in the field, in fact, it made sense to her.
They were a cautious bunch, it kind of comes with the territory of being a group of highly public faces in the superhero business.
So it made sense to her that they would want to make sure she could handle going back into the field again - even if she herself was sure that she could – and the best way to do that would be to test out her skills. So she realised quite quickly that that was exactly what the job was going to be.
A test.
A test in her ability to plan. A test in her ability to work on her own. A test in her control of her abilities. A test in her ability in both close combat and stealth. And apparently, a test in her patience because damn did she need a lot of that to deal with the personified insanity that is Wade freakin' Wilson.
. . .
"Is this a joke?"
Steve glanced up from his sketchpad for less than a second before returning to his drawing of the skyline view from his living room to see Mariana leaning against the large pane of glass he still sometimes struggled to believe could be considered a wall. She held her cell phone out to show the message he had sent mere moments before and her face was the absolute picture of unimpressed.
From the nearby armchair Bucky snorted and continued cleaning his gun and watching TV without even looking at the young woman who had appeared in Steve's apartment.
"Whatever do you mean, Mari?"
Mariana glared. "You missed 'innocence' by about a mile there Steven. Want to try again? A date, a location and a name is not enough information."
Steve shrugged and motioned with his hand for her to move to the left so he could continue drawing. She did without a word of protest.
"We had less to work with sometimes in the war."
"I get that. But that's you, the man with a plan. You could probably make a battle plan out of a paperclip and a piece of string but this is me and I know my limitations. You want me to snatch this guy up? Fine. I can do that. But you and I both know if I go in there blind with no idea what the guy is like, what the area is like or how to handle the situation then I'll probably get somebody killed. Also, this isn't the forties. We're living in a tower controlled by a quite possibly sentient AI. You couldn't have asked JARVIS to send me some info on the guy?"
Steve didn't even look at her when he replied.
"Can't you?"
Pause.
Sigh.
"You're an asshole. Fine. And you," Mariana appeared in front of Bucky and he raised an eyebrow at her, "this was probably all your idea, right? Testing me."
"Not this time, kid."
"I hate all of you."
"No you don't," both men called out to the now empty room as they returned to their tasks.
. . .
"JARVIS?" Mariana kicked her legs up over the left arm of the office chair and pushed off the desk with her right hand to make the chair start spinning. Steve may not have given her the information but he had a personal office in the tower that was quite spacious and he obviously wasn't using at that moment.
"Mariana," the AI acknowledged.
She grinned at the ceiling as she brought the chair to an abrupt stop. "Gimme everything you have on Wade Wilson. Bring it up on the screen, I can't be bothered with the holograms right now."
"Certainly."
Mariana teleported over to the left most wall and pushed on the second panel to open a small fridge stocked with bottled water, a couple of protein bars, two bottles of some kind of beer that seemed to have been in there a while and – Mariana grinned – two bottles of her favourite soda.
"Hey J, when did Steve get the soda?"
"Captain Rogers is aware of your use of his office."
Mariana grabbed a bottle and scribbled a thank you note on a post-it that she stuck to the other bottle. Apparently Steve was aware that his office was the quietest place in the tower. Sometimes it was nice to get away from everyone but at the same time still be close.
Mariana plopped herself back down on the chair and rolled closer to the desk so she could see the screen better as she screwed the cap back on.
"Okay," she said to herself, "what's so special about Mr Wilson?"
The reading went by quicker than she expected it to but by the end she knew enough to feel at least a little more confident in success. A mercenary born in Canada but operating world-wide with Us special forces training and a healing factor that could rival Wolverine's. Huh, Mariana thought, maybe they know each other.
Currently, he was going after some guy referring to himself as 'Taskmaster' which was just…why do they ever let the bad guys name themselves? Tonight some arms deal that could be traced back to Taskmaster was supposed to go down in the warehouse district and the others thought there was a chance Wilson would show up there.
Mariana checked her cell and realised it was only 4:48pm. The deal was going down just after midnight but she wanted to get there a little early just in case, maybe about 11:30pm which meant she would have to start preparing at about 10 and maybe do some training from 8 just in case. Dinner was normally at about 5 though so before anything else she needed to eat.
"Shut it down JARVIS. Thanks buddy."
. . .
At 11:21pm Mariana was trained, showered, dressed, armed and ready. While this job was considered to be official Avenger business she didn't believe she needed to be decked out in her full Avengers gear. If she was seen that would draw too much attention and potentially worry a lot of people if the wrong person saw. They might assume something big was going on and as far as Mariana knew this was small time business. Instead she was wearing navy skinny jeans, a black sweatshirt and a pair of black converse.
Not knowing how long she could be waiting around for, Mariana had packed a couple of bottles of water and a few snacks into a small backpack. She also had two 9mm glocks stuffed in the backpack as well. She didn't expect trouble but she had learned to be prepared for it at all times.
She was ahead of her schedule but decided to go check out the area anyway and found it to be seemingly deserted so she took a couple of minutes to check out the three warehouses she could see, any one of which could be the location of the deal.
In the first she checked the perimeter as quickly as she could and rooted out a place for her to sit without being seen if it turned out this was the right place. She filed the platform at the top of the broken ladder away for future reference and moved on.
In the second building she checked the perimeter again, found that the roof was caving in slightly and located a place on the rafters that she could sit. When she did she frowned and cursed Clint and Matt under her breath for instilling their tendency to perch in high places to observe in her.
In the third building she found a man.
A man dressed in a rip-off Spider-Man costume she recognised as belonging to Wade Wilson.
A man with his back to her as he danced on the spot and sang loudly and very off-key.
Mariana made a quick decision to approach him now, before the arms dealers showed up and complicated things. Her job was to bring Wilson to the Avengers. She could come back and break up the deal as soon as she had done that. Time to put some of her stealth skills to work.
Except the second she took a step, Wilson froze at the - seemingly quite loud in the practically empty building – sound of denim on denim as Mariana moved. The teleporter closed her eyes briefly and sighed. Stupid jeans. As she opened her eyes again, Wilson spun on his heel impossibly fast and fired three shots at the space Mariana had previously occupied.
"But she was jus-"
"Mr Wilson?" The red-clad mercenary spun and fired again but Mariana had already moved to the left so he could still see her this time. "Stop shooting at me!"
"Hey, I know you!"
Mariana rolled her eyes. "A lot of people have seen my face. I stopped wearing a mask a long time ago. You going to put to gun away or do I need to teleport again?"
The inclined his head towards the gun, as if just realising he was holding it. "Oh, whoopsie-doodle!"
He put the gun away and Mariana lowered her hands back down to her sides as he walked towards her. Well, more accurately he bounced towards her and stuck out a gloved hand.
"Name's Wade Wilson. You can call me Deadpool if you want. Deadpool, Mr Deadpool, Dr Deadpool, Captain Deadpool, Bob, it's all the same. And you're Quantum, an Avenger. So what do the Avengers want with me? I've been good, I promise! Look, I'm even taking down Taskmaster. He's a bad guy, right? I don't keep track too much anymore. Good guys, bad guys, who CARES?! But I'm pretty sure this one is a bad one. I know what people say but if I'm fighting a bad guy then that makes me the good guy, yeah? What does it matter if I'm getting paid?"
"Uh…" Mariana just kind of stood there with her mouth slightly open, staring at the man as he gestured wildly with one hand, still not releasing her own hand with the other while he spoke a hundred miles a minute and seemingly at the same time to himself and someone unknown.
"Am I shaking your hand too long? I'm probably shaking your hand too long I'm just really excited."
Mariana coughed to clear her throat. "Excited?"
"You're an Avenger, an actual Avenger talking to little old Deadpool. I mean, I'm kind of a fan. And you're probably close with Captain America, huh? Bet you've seen that All-American booty up close and personally."
"What?" Mariana almost wanted to laugh at the insinuation.
"What? Oh no! God she thinks we meant something dirty. No I mean, you guys, you probably train and stuff and…is it as great in person as in the pictures?"
Mariana thought the guy was a little loopy but she had recovered enough to decide there were no rule against playing along so she crossed her arms and leaned in a little. "Definitely."
Deadpool made an exaggerated choking sound and pretended to swoon as he dropped to the floor with the back of his right hand pressed to his forehead and his left hand clutching at his heart. Abruptly, he jumped to his feet again and spoke very, very seriously. "He was my childhood hero."
Mariana scoffed. "Steve was everyone's childhood hero."
"Steve! Steve!" Mariana watched as he repeated his earlier swooning and recovery before deciding to get down to business.
"So…" she began, "you're a fan of the Avengers?"
"Who the hell isn't?"
"Well…what would you say to coming along with me to meet them? Face to face? You know, sit down, have a little chat."
He was immediately emitting a high-pitched squeal that only a six-year-old girl offered ice-cream should be capable of. When he calmed down Mariana was watching him in amusement. His file had the guy labelled as extremely dangerous but he seemed to act like a bloody child.
"A dream come true. But I have something to do first. Bad guys to stop and whatever, you get the gist."
"Okay…" New tactic. Two birds, one stone. "Well, how about I help you stop the arm dealers, then we go talk to the Avengers. Deal?"
Deadpool pulled two katanas off his back and kissed both through his mask before turning his head so he seemed to be looking directly at Mariana again as he said, "Done."
"Great, is it going down in here then?"
"I think so."
Just then they heard the distinctive crunch of tires on gravel and the purr of a large engine before both sounds cut off, replaced with the opening and closing of doors and the eventual crunch of footsteps moving away from them.
Mariana teleported over to a dirtied window and peered out. Several men of considerable stature and muscle were unloading a large truck of several heavy cases and carrying them to the second warehouse she had checked.
The young woman looked back at Deadpool over her shoulder as she swung her backpack off her shoulder and opened it. "You sure about that?"
The man sighed and looked down. "One of these days."
Mariana took out the two 9mm glocks and a holster, attaching one to her belt and tucking her sweatshirt behind it so she could grab it easily as she held the other one in her right hand. She slipped the backpack on her back again and checked that both guns were fully loaded and the safety was on.
"Let's go, I'll teleport us onto the rafters."
"You know," Deadpool said just as she placed her hand on his arm and teleported them, "I used to be able to teleport."
With that he jumped off the beam they were now balancing on into a crouch that he rolled out of and charged at the group of men milling around the six crates of weapons, spouting some bullshit Mariana wasn't listening to. Her angry hiss of "What?" was but a whisper in the wind compared to the hail of bullets fired at the sprinting mercenary who seemed to be majorly unaffected.
"I am going to seriously hurt this guy," Mariana muttered under her breath before teleporting herself behind the group of gun-runners.
There were twelve of them in total and Deadpool was already taking on three up close. There were another four quite near to Mariana but one of them was slowly backing up as he fired at the red mouth on legs that was Wade Wilson so he was getting progressively closer to Mariana.
She slipped the gun in her hand into the waist of her jeans to free up her hands and silently grabbed the guy in a chokehold. He went down quietly enough and the clatter of his gun falling from slack fingers went unnoticed in the gunfire. She set the unconscious man down and stayed crouched as she took out her gun again and teleported beside another guy.
She kicked out, swiping his legs from under him and smacking the butt of her gun into the side of his head to knock him out before turning on the next guy who had noticed her and was now aiming at her. Mariana was quick to teleport to his other side in a position where he was still in her line of fire as she shot at his right shoulder.
He cried out and spun towards her but she was prepared and kicked the handgun out of his hand before pistol-whipping him and spinning away as he dropped. There was a guy right behind her who ran out of bullets after firing and missing three times because she kept teleporting. Mariana moved in close and stared punching and kicking at the guy, teleporting between hits so he never got his own hits in until she was able to knock him unconscious.
At the same moment, Deadpool finished off the last two guys on his own right as the doors burst open and five new people, four men and a woman, entered with guns drawn. The buyers. Mariana had been worried they would hear the commotion and run. She didn't get a chance to lend Deadpool a hand in taking them down though because she finally caught sight of the chaos he had already left behind.
She wanted to throw up.
There was so much blood.
She looked on in horror at the dead bodies that littered the warehouse floor and the blood that seemed to be absolutely everywhere. She finally tuned into what it was Deadpool was rambling on about and immediately wished she hadn't. He was describing, in very graphic detail, every which way he was going to kill his opponents.
It was when he was pulling his katana – where the other had disappeared to was beyond her – from the stomach of the lone female before moving on the pin the only survivor to the wall that Mariana refocussed on the task at hand and managed to teleport right behind Deadpool.
"Wilson y-"
"Not right now sweetheart, I'm threatening. This piece of shit was just about to tell me exactly where I can find Taskmaster. That is, of course, if he wants to keep his scrotum attached to the rest of him."
Mariana felt a shiver run down her spine as he lowered the katana so that the tip was almost pressed into the buyer's crotch. The man was a whimpering mess against the wall.
"Please," he begged. "Please I don't know anything. I swear! I fucking swear man!"
Deadpool pressed harder.
"Ah! Okay! Okay! I've never been but he has a place in Geneva! It's where we were supposed to send the guns. Please, man, please just…just don't…don't…" He trailed off in tears as he squeezed his eyes shut.
Everyone remained deathly still for a few moments until Deadpool slid the blade back in its sheath and stepped forward to pat the guy on the cheek. Mariana breathed a sigh of relief that got caught in her throat and transformed into a shout of surprise and horror as the mercenary whipped out a pistol and shot the man in the head.
The teleported stood stock still with both hands covering her mouth as she stared at the crumpled figure on the ground. She had seen dead bodies before, sure. Hell, she had killed people before. Never had she enjoyed it. And never has she seen up close and personal, and act so ruthless as what Wade Wilson had done in that warehouse.
"Now where on Earth did I put her?" There was a sickening squelch as he rolled over one of the dead bodies behind Mariana. "Ah! There you are! Don't go running off like that again, you hear? Good. Now, Miss Avenger? Hello? You in there."
Mariana let her hands drop and slowly spun to face Deadpool. "You- He told you what you wanted to know…and you killed him."
"Ah, ah, ah, we don't use that word." He wagled his finger at her as though scolding a child.
"What word?"
"The k-word!"
"Kill?"
"Yes!" He sighed. "Such an ugly word. I prefer un-alived. That's what I did, I un-alived him, all of them really."
"You… I'm beginning to understand why Steve wants to talk to you."
"Because the author had a bunch of requests for you to meet me?" Deadpool turned his head to the left and gave a small bow before facing her again.
"Author?"
"You're not supposed to know about that. Am I thinking out loud again? Dammit I really need to fix those boxes."
"Um. Uh. Okay. Right." Mariana took a deep breath and glanced around. "Will you, uh, come with me now? I'll ask J to send someone to," she gestured around them, "Uh, clean this lot up. Let's go."
She didn't give him a chance to argue before grabbing his arm and teleporting into a holding cell in the tower and left him there, ignoring his indignant shout of "Hey!" behind her.
Everyone was waiting on the communal floor just like she had assumed they would be when Mariana teleported in. "JARVIS, need a clean-up."
"Of course, I'll send them now. Welcome back Mariana."
The 20-year-old looked at the others silently for a few moments before nodding slowly, almost to herself. "He's in holding cell 3. That was cruel guys. So cruel. I need a minute."
With that, she went to her room, showered to wash away the blood splatter and changed into some sweats and headed down to the range. It was almost 3am at that point so she was on her own down there and it stayed that way for the next hour and a half while she fired at various targets before cleaning up after herself and heading down to the holding cells.
She watched through the one-way mirror as Wade Wilson lay on the cot, pretending to drum along to whatever song was playing in his head, still decked out in his full Deadpool uniform.
Then she went to Steve's office, opened her second bottle of soda after pocketing the 'You're welcome' note and plopped down into the office chair with her knees pulled up to her chest.
"JARVIS?"
"Mariana."
"Gimme everything you have on Deadpool."
. . .
Did I do alright? If you have a chance to review please let me know if I got Deadpool's character right or at least close. I might write him in the future.
As for the other one-shots: they will come eventually. I'm going to be moving soon and I've got other projects going as well at the minute so please bear with me.
I love you guys!
-Emma
