Hello everyone!
Welcome to My Immortal, a story that, although I've heard horror stories about it, have never read. Nor have I read any of the Commentaries on it. With that said, I'll try to be fresh and funny with this, so let's go!
Special thanks to SpecialDreamin for putting the story on Fanfiction, and again, I've never read a Commentary on this story, so any jokes or comments that are similar to a different commentary are unintentional.
Chapter 1.
AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)
Oh goody aren't we in for a great boys and girls!
2 my gf (ew not in that way)
Yeah yeah, not in love with her except you totally are, been there, done that.
raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling.
… Please tell me you did a good job…
U rok! Justin
WHO DA FUCK IS JUSTIN?! I mean, what was his job?! Sit back and eat chips while he watched you write this?!
ur da luv of my deprzzing life
… I know you're goth, which I admittedly know very little about, but I'm pretty sure 'da luv of my deprzzing life' is some kind of oxymoron.
u rok 2! MCR ROX!
WHO THE HELL ARE MCR?! Stop saying thanks to things I don't know about story that can't actually reply!
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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
(Southern Drawl.) Well ain't you just a fancy little darlin' with all your middle names.
and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears
I believe tears woulda done just fine thank you very much.
and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee
I have no clue who that is, but if I did, I would probably be very cross with you.
(AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).
Welp, you heard her. (Walks off.)
…
(Walks back in.) Nevermind I can't leave. Where were we?
I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.
But… That defeats the purpose if that's why you wanna be related to him. Also, WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING.
I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white.
Okay. First off, you don't use 'I'm a vampire' to segway into your teeth. Also, WHY WAS THIS NOT MENTIONED EARLIER AND SLIGHTLY LESS CASUALLY.
I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts
Suddenly Harry Potter.
in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen).
Because no one who could've clicked on this story wouldn't possibly know that. It's not like they weren't Harry Potter fans or anything!
I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell)
(Surprised gasp.) I never even noticed it! I would've never figured that out in a million years! (Sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm.)
and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there.
Guess who's never been there! This guy!
For example today I was wearing
Oh goody, fashion! (Falls asleep.)
a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.
ZZZZZZZZzzzzz… Huh? It's over? M'kay.
I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun
I'm pretty sure it can only be raining or snowing. Not both.
, which I was very happy about
Ah yes, you hate the sun don't you?
. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
How rude! For all you knew, they were admiring your fashion ZZZZZZZZzzzzz…. (Wakes up.) style!
"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!
Tadah! Now to see how you do at staying in character!
"What's up Draco?" I asked.
"Nothing." he said shyly.
… BITCH IF YOU DON'T-
(Technical difficulties! Please wait a moment.)
Alright, I'm calm. (Sitting in a pile of Hot Pockets, Dr. Pepper, and Sweetarts.) Carry on.
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.
Well that conversation lasted two fucking seconds and still took forever!
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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!
(Sits intensely thinking.) … Hm… NO.
Regardless, if you guys liked my Commentary, tell me! If you don't , tell me! But until then… See ya!
